DISCLAIMER--I don't own cowboy bebop
A/N-Sorry about the grammar- not good with quotations and spacing when ppl talk
But despite the many mistakes {'I'm sure I have} I hope you all enjoy the story
Prologue
In the darkness of the night, a small boy with spiky green hair and large blue eyes holds a dying body of a woman. The wind howls outside their home, as the rain is heard beating furiously on the windows outside- tears of the heavens for the blood tainting the ground below.
"I swear mother I'll find the men who did this to you, I'll kill them," says the child with tears welling up into his eyes as his small arms hug her close. The sound of her breaths become weaker and weaker with every second that creeps by.
She slowly turns her head, her own tears staining her face. "No, find Spike! He'll help you, you can't do this alone." One last gasp, one last sound of life before utter silence fills the small child's ears. The winds outside slowly die down and as they do so they seem to take the woman's soul with them. The storm ends and the rain stops like the ending of an act yet to let the curtain fall. The storm, now over, leaves the after taste of rage, anger, sadness, blood and death lingering in the air with heavy tears, as if the angels watching above have yet to dry their eyes. It appears the winds and rain are satisfied with the sacrifice that has just taken place and yet the boy isn't satisfied with anything. No, it is decided by fate then, that he will never be satisfied until the men who had destroyed his mother and his life forever were dead by his hand. And even then, vengeance completed, their blood on the ground at his feet might not even be enough to fill the void made in his innocent heart.
"Mother," he whispers too late, only to have his silent screams of anguish swallowed up by the creaks of the house as the shadows engulf them both- the body of a woman and a form of a shivering child filled with rage beyond his years.
Nightmares run in the genes
Chapter 1
"Spike," a voice. Soft, a mummer of reality. It was her.
Who?
"Spike." There it was again, the soft sound of Julia's voice calling me from somewhere, but where? I couldn't see a thing. Everywhere I turned there was only darkness, complete blackness. I couldn't tell if I was up or down, left or right. Was I moving? Was I standing still? Was I even standing? Where was I? A cold shiver went down my spine as the next question fell into my mind as an after thought of indifference- Was this hell? No, that was a stupid idea. This wasn't anywhere at all. It was more like nowhere.
"Spike." Julia? Where was she?
"Julia where are you?"
"I'm here Spike, follow my voice," she said as if I knew where the hell her voice was coming from. Follow her voice? What did that mean to a man that couldn't tell up from down? I couldn't see anything but I tried to anyway- it was for Julia, my dream and now this nightmare was for her- it had been and was now. I turned my body as best as I could and started to move my arms in a swimming motion. It occurred to me out of the blue that if Jet were here he'd be laughing his ass off watching my attempt to "swim" to Julia who, by the way, I had no idea where she was. A fish who had no idea where to go or even how to swim, that was the best way to describe the way I felt.
"I bet Jet would be, Spike." Vicious? Was that him? I wasn't sure who it was but I sure as hell knew one thing - this whole dark thing was pissing me off. So was the fact that now I didn't even have to voice anything for me to be heard. Vicious was reading my goddamned thoughts! But if Vicious was here, was here hell? I figured when you were dead you saw gates or fire or something. Was I even dead?
"Not yet Spike but soon," Julia said.
All I wanted was to see her. Damn darkness, I mumbled with frustration.
Then I saw it - a picture started to form in the distance with a bright brilliance. A light in the darkness that consumed me. A glow. A form. A woman! Julia! As I moved towards her, I realized how light my body began to feel. I didn't even have to move, it was as if a pair of invisible hands were pushing me from behind. It felt so good to just float without trying, without running, or moving, just being. I felt so free, felt so distant from my past as if it had never happened and had never chained me down. Around Julia the background became lighter, the glowing of her form spreading out around my darkened world like gentle fingers painting my darkness white until I was in the brilliance of her- Julia.
Then there she was standing on a gray marble staircase forming beneath her feet. The wind from somewhere unknown was catching her beautiful blond hair. It flowed like liquid gold around her face. I still couldn't make out all the details, but I knew it was Julia even if her face was blurry and distorted by the dreamy fog that hung around the air.
Then there was a rush of color. I couldn't believe my eyes. The white around me became alive with vibrancy. I looked down and below me was the earth, shimmering as if water, or as if it was a reflection that filled the empty space above me. It was like I was standing on a mirror of the world around me and yet I was neither in the reflection no more than the earth was above my head. All around me were cherry trees, lush with pink leaves that blew soft petals around the air with a playful tug and blow here and there. The trees outlined the staircase, they were everywhere- as far as the eye could see. Far back in the distance were mountains and hills cascading the land just beyond forever. Not a sound was heard, not even my breathing that was filled with awe broke the silence that was neither stifled or frightening.
Then another figure appeared next to Julia.
I was almost there. The figure next to Julia materialized and became Vicious. But he wasn't the bloodthirsty man who wouldn't rest until he had slain me. The man I locked eyes with was my best friend. The same guy I used to play pool with in the clubs, got drunk with, went after chicks with "before Julia," and just plain caused chaos with. I had forgotten all the fun I had had with him by my side. He looked different when he was smiling with black eyes filled with mature clarity instead of full warped vengeance. The transformation in his face was so drastic as I stared into what had been, what was gone forever save for this moment where time didn't seem to matter. His "white" hair turned to a light shade of blond, and the wrinkles under his eyes were almost completely gone. He smiled and held out his hand. To me?
I reached out my hand, inches from his. Then I stopped.
What the hell was going on here! I had just killed the guy. But before I could utter a single word I realized something- I was going backwards! Julia and Vicious were becoming blurry again. What the hell was going on, just a few seconds ago I was an inch away from them. "Ah, it hurts," I said holding my stomach as pain shot through it. The pain came quick and harsh. It was so intense; it felt like nothing I had ever felt before and I had known what "real" pain was like. I closed my eyes for a few moments, the pain becoming more intense, more fierce as I felt myself drift farther away from Julia, from Vicious. When I opened my eyes the colors around me had faded like water color paintings I once saw on Mars. Julia and Vicious were gone along with the vibrance of my world, no their world not mine.
What was I doing? This was no time to think about damn watercolor paintings or whose world I was in! I had to figure this out. I had to figure out what the hell was going on!
For the moment everything had stopped. I was back-suspended in the darkness that consumed me with hunger once again. At that moment I heard Julia again, "Spike your going back."
"Going back?!" I yelled. No, this wasn't happening, not after all I went through. "No," I yelled loudly as I tried to fight the current that was against me, tugging me away once again from the only one that mattered. It seemed that Julia's words had triggered those same hands that had pushed me to her. Only this time, instead of a gentle push it was a hard pull downward into nothing, then the speed began to pick up. It was too strong to stop, too strong to struggle. I tried so hard to make it stop, tried so hard to fight for my heart, my dream, my death. I didn't want to be alive again. I didn't care if hell was what Vicious, Julia, and I had to live in. It was better then no Julia at all. What was I going to do? What could I do?
Nothing. The word resounded in my head like an echo.
I closed my eyes as the in pain in my stomach came back ten times more intense than before. My body became heavy as I was sucked down a drain that chipped ice away from my body and filled it with needles of relentless pain. Then with a loud thump I was thrown back. Back to reality, back to living in the past, back to the same old bullshit. Only this time I figured it out. By this time all answers and questions didn't matter. I only knew one thing, one God damned thing- I wasn't going anywhere. No matter how many times I tried I wasn't going to die.
God dammit.
I wondered if Vicious was laughing at me right now. Damn you Vicious, you could have aimed better, how about my heart next time huh?
I opened my eyes. Everything seemed to spin- lights, colors, sounds and all. Slowly the room came into focus. I was lying down in a bed with bandages everywhere. An oxygen mask lay on my mouth as the machine pushed my chest up and down. I couldn't breath! I would take a breath but the machine took it back. I moved my hand from my side, tore off the bandage holding the mask on and ripped it off.
"Oh my, you're awake. I'm so sorry about the mask I'll go get the doctor," said a young girl dressed in white scrubs and lab coat that stood by my bed. She ran out of the room before I could say a thing. I laughed a little, thinking about the whole damn situation. I bet the doc was even gonna ask me how I felt.
"Ah, so you're better," a man said standing in the doorway. For a moment I thought he was Jet. But when he came closer I saw the differences. True he was balding, had a beard, but his eyes were a deep intense brown and his nose was alot thinner than my late partner. I laughed; this guy was a hell of a lot older then Jet as well. He had gray streaks everywhere. But I decided that maybe I had better not to tell Jet that. He had enough ego. But didn't we all?
The doctor sat on the end of the bed and eyed me closely. "What?" I managed to choke out, still out of breath.
"Spike, you're the strangest case I've ever had," he said as he shifted positions. Feet shuffled as he moved back and forth from one foot to the other trying to stand comfortably. "You see when you were attacked, or whatever happened, it seems that the knife cut through all of your organs in the abdominal cavity, plus you had a heart attack on the table while we were operating on you. We almost lost you twice but you bounced back." His face filled with seriousness I had seen so many times before. "Let me put this better, by all means you should be dead!"
I looked at him stonily. So what, was I supposed to applaud him for bringing me back? It was his fault I was here looking at him now. I was weary and yet I hated this man before me. how dare he disrupt my death? The only thing I wanted, had needed. But it wasn't really his fault was it? It was my own damned luck.
"Maybe this hasn't all sunken in yet," he said. But no he didn't stop to see if he was right, he just kept on going. "It can be a horrific experience, you must have been through something horrible." Horrible? That was putting it mildly. This guy had no idea. I wondered if I should I tell him? "But anyway"- here it comes- "How do you feel?"- and all with a lovely smile as if everything beforehand was never said at all. I hated doctors.
How do I feel, hell let's see, the love of my life was taken from me, my best friend just tried to kill me, all my subordinates turned against me, and I live in a constant struggle with the past. Now how to sum all that up for you?
"Crappy. I feel really crappy." I said rubbing my temples. Boy did I have a headache. Then I heard a familiar sound.
"Where is he? Damnit someone tell me!" Well lets see that has to be Faye now the next voice is going to be Jet's.
"Faye stop yelling this is a hospital! People are trying to sleep!" Score one for the green afro man. Now last but not least Edward. I was waiting for her to jump on me yelling "Lunkhead!" or "Spike person!".
"Arf, Arf." Dear God no they brought the dog! Oh my God Ein, please don't jump. "OWWWW! Damnit Ein that hurt," I said pushing the two-ton dog off my stomach.
"He's just glad to see you," said Faye walking over to the bed. Were those tears glistening in those cat jaded eyes? Faye crying over me, you've got to be kidding me.
"Down Ein," said Jet walking in behind the purple haired harlot.
"Why did you do it?" I demanded angrily locking eyes with intense blue. My fight, my past, my death! Not his, not Faye's, Mine! Why, Jet? Why the fuck did you let me live?
"Do what? Spike, what are talking about," asked Jet.
God I hated when people played dumb! "Don't play so stupid, someone had to bring me here!" I yelled as if the raspy noises my voice made was a sort of yelling.
"So that's why you're so angry. I figured you would be, you wanted to die and now that you're alive you're pissed. Well, dammit, Spike, Faye and I had nothing to do with this, nothing at all. We heard that you got here from a call my friend gave me. He said 'Spike's in the OR, you might want to check it out,' so we did." Jet crossed his arms.
I lay back on the bed. "So then who brought me?" Energy was lost, weariness was seething in. Who would bring me here? Jet wasn't lying, I could tell and I really had pissed him off by suggesting it too. Then something hit me where was the kid? I was expecting to be bombarded by Ed.
Jet seemed to have read my mind. "She's gone, Spike, her dad was killed about a month ago." Jet turned away, but continued. "He was killed by a falling rock. She has no place to go so she's gonna stay with us for now, " he said sadly. The feeling fit him well, he had become the next best thing to father in Ed's life hadn't he?
Then something hit me. "Uh Jet how long have I been in the hospital?"
Jet turned to face Faye then turned back to me scratching his head. "Why you've been hear three months!"
"Three months!" That couldn't be! It just couldn't be! Shock, utter shock... "How is that possible Jet?" I asked the breath leaking out of my lungs.
"Let me explain," said Faye.
"Uh no that's ok, Faye, I want to hear it from Jet," I said.
"Ok Spike forget I'm even here," Faye said. I head the familiar sarcastic tone to her voice.
"Well," continued Jet, "You got here three months ago, but they had to do a lot of operations on you, they wouldn't let us see you until you awoke from the coma."
"What do you mean 'until I awoke from the coma?" I asked, those word bothering me. My stomach was starting to hurt badly again too but I hid it as best as I could. No, not one more second was I staying in this hell hole that brought people back from their rightful deaths! Best way to get the hell out was to be better, acting like it even if I wasn't.
"Spike they gave you some meds that put you asleep for some time I guess, I don't know, I'm no doctor." Faye laughed. "In a way Spike you were frozen like me only without the cold part. Ha, I guess you could say you got to be sleeping beauty for three months." Yeah sleeping beauty that's me all right. Well, why couldn't I stay sleeping. I decided to be nice, after all Jet could have not come and filled me in that I had been dead for three months.
"Uh thanks for coming, by the way."
Then came in the cute little nurse with the high-pitched voice that reminded me of a mouse. "Mr. Speigal now that you're better we can give you this." She handed me a slip of paper. A bill?! Forty five million woolongs!
"You have to be kidding me! How am I going to pay for this?" I asked in a breathless tone. This was great I had just come back to life and I already owed more then I was worth dead. Why in the hell wasn't I dead for crissakes! "How am I going to pay this off?" I fell backward on the bed that I hadn't even noticed I had sprung from. This was great now what? I needed to find a bounty. But what bounty was gonna pay for all this? I closed my eyes and tried to think.
Hey, Vicious are you laughing at me you bastard? I thought of that image I had seen of Julia and Vicious standing happily. Did I mention they were standing happily dead without me? What really did happen to them and Shin and Lin? I wondered then. Vicious and Julia had looked too alive to be dead, hadn't they? I tried to picture their faces but nothing came to mind. I guess it just wasn't my turn to know. Oh, Julia I hope you're waiting for me at the cemetery. We'll be buried there but we'll be walking among our fellow dead. I laughed half heartily. Then Jet spoke breaking away my morbid thoughts.
"Well Spike you can go home today the doctor said. Are you gonna come back to the ship?" Jet handed me some cloths. But Faye was still holding my pants.
"First things first, just how am I going to pay off this hospital bill?" I asked putting on my shirt, the IV sticking on my wrist until I pulled it out with force that made me grimace. Then I glanced at Faye. "Uh, Faye, I kinda need my pants to get dressed, can you give then to me?" She threw my pants at me and walked out, slamming the door. "What's with her?" I asked putting my pants on, standing wobbly fully clothed.
"She's been acting weird ever since that day, you know when you left to go after Julia. I really don't know what to do about her, so I figure I'll leave her alone. She's bound to come out of it sometime." Jet said. Then he was out the door. He popped his head back in and said "As for the money we'll work on it later you have some time to pay it off." He then disappeared again.
Some time? At the rate I was going I was more likely immortal! Some time meant eternity at that moment.
I sighed; this was going to be fun I thought sarcastically. But what else could I do but to move along with the way things were going? The only option was to go back to the ship now so I was going back to the goddamned shit just about as happy as a mad dog. Man, of all things to happen then on top of the shitload of happenings I got a debt to tie it off nicely. This whole coming back to the world was a pain in my ass and it just kept getting better and better. Then I thought of something- it was really funny by now you would really think I would have of got it through my head that I wasn't going die.
I hit my fist against the wall. " Damnit!" Jet was right I had to keep going. I guess I was just one of those lucky ones that got to be tormented by their past. I loved when people told you to bury and forget. All it ever did was come back and haunt you. I couldn't wait to see what new surprise's awaited me in the life that wouldn't fucking end. One thing was for sure I was done with that bullshit Syndicate. No matter what happened now. I was through. Julia was dead, I really had no reason to live but if I wasn't going to die I might as well walk away.
I knew what I needed. I needed to get drunk. That'd be the first thing. It'd take some of the edge of reality off for a while anyway.
I walked down the hall. It was so poorly lit, and every room seemed to be dark inside. One room was lit and inside was on old man sitting on a chair. He had scars on he face, arms and hands. He looked like he'd had a hard life. I heard the doctor tell him about the operation and how unsuccessful it was. Then he said something like he had no family and he'd leave tomorrow morning. I walked on by. Was that gonna be me in the future? But no, I couldn't die.
"Come on Spike." Jet's voice woke me up from my train of thoughts. I met up with him and Faye who seemed to be better now except that there were tears in her eyes. They stood in front of the glass doors that lead to the outside world I hadn't wanted ever to see again. I looked down at a large woman with huge glasses at the front desk just to the left of freedom, or maybe those glass doors were another form of hell. She handed me a form to sign. A certain part caught my eye. The part about the hospital had nothing to do with any chance that there might be some complications with my operation.
So if I die they can't get blamed how funny was that. They needed to be blamed for not letting me die! But on the bright side I guessed that meant something could happen to me. I wished it would but I knew it wasn't going to.
"Here," I said leaving the paper on the desk as I walked out of the sliding doors into the sunshine. I sighed. " Oh, well here goes nothing." I walked away from the hospital; I followed Jet and Faye to the Taxi waiting with a sour assed driver and sighed heavily. Faye and Jet got in but before I did I looked over my shoulder at the hospital looming in the distance. So here ended the book of my life. That sounded so morbid but it was so damn true. Maybe I won't even be a bounty hunter in my next life. As far as I was concerned I did die in that hospital. Truthfully, what had died in that hospital was my very soul. Or maybe the part that died there wasn't dead, only waiting to be found by another poor soul with a past too damn complicated for the weak.
I got into the taxi and slammed the door shut. I sat on the soft seats that smelled of vomit and maybe garbage. Jet got a cigarette out and lit it. Just looking at it made my mouth drool. "Jet let me have one." I asked, though there was, I admit, a tone of begging in my voice. Jet handed me one. Just the feel of it between my fingers felt good. Like a forgotten helping hand that hadn't been there for a while.
"Here," Jet said handing me his lighter. I lit it and took a puff.
"Boy this is just what I needed," I said. Then I realized that Faye had been starring at me since I had gotten into the taxi.
"Faye what are you looking at?" I said getting annoyed.
"Spike you need a hair cut." She gave me a funny look. "And you need a shower, you smell bad." She said holding her nose.
"Well, Faye," I said sarcastically, "I've been laying in a bed for three months!" I felt the hair on my chin. "Its not like I was conscious enough to get a shave." Then we began to argue about how insensitive I was, and how I was still a jerk. How I didn't care then and how I didn't care about anything now.
."Oh, boy." Jet said, putting his head in his hands.
The taxi drove off, into the late afternoon shadows, the shouting of the cowboy and the gambler heard for miles around.
A/N- There was no time to read this over. So once again forgive the mistakes.
A/N-Sorry about the grammar- not good with quotations and spacing when ppl talk
But despite the many mistakes {'I'm sure I have} I hope you all enjoy the story
Prologue
In the darkness of the night, a small boy with spiky green hair and large blue eyes holds a dying body of a woman. The wind howls outside their home, as the rain is heard beating furiously on the windows outside- tears of the heavens for the blood tainting the ground below.
"I swear mother I'll find the men who did this to you, I'll kill them," says the child with tears welling up into his eyes as his small arms hug her close. The sound of her breaths become weaker and weaker with every second that creeps by.
She slowly turns her head, her own tears staining her face. "No, find Spike! He'll help you, you can't do this alone." One last gasp, one last sound of life before utter silence fills the small child's ears. The winds outside slowly die down and as they do so they seem to take the woman's soul with them. The storm ends and the rain stops like the ending of an act yet to let the curtain fall. The storm, now over, leaves the after taste of rage, anger, sadness, blood and death lingering in the air with heavy tears, as if the angels watching above have yet to dry their eyes. It appears the winds and rain are satisfied with the sacrifice that has just taken place and yet the boy isn't satisfied with anything. No, it is decided by fate then, that he will never be satisfied until the men who had destroyed his mother and his life forever were dead by his hand. And even then, vengeance completed, their blood on the ground at his feet might not even be enough to fill the void made in his innocent heart.
"Mother," he whispers too late, only to have his silent screams of anguish swallowed up by the creaks of the house as the shadows engulf them both- the body of a woman and a form of a shivering child filled with rage beyond his years.
Nightmares run in the genes
Chapter 1
"Spike," a voice. Soft, a mummer of reality. It was her.
Who?
"Spike." There it was again, the soft sound of Julia's voice calling me from somewhere, but where? I couldn't see a thing. Everywhere I turned there was only darkness, complete blackness. I couldn't tell if I was up or down, left or right. Was I moving? Was I standing still? Was I even standing? Where was I? A cold shiver went down my spine as the next question fell into my mind as an after thought of indifference- Was this hell? No, that was a stupid idea. This wasn't anywhere at all. It was more like nowhere.
"Spike." Julia? Where was she?
"Julia where are you?"
"I'm here Spike, follow my voice," she said as if I knew where the hell her voice was coming from. Follow her voice? What did that mean to a man that couldn't tell up from down? I couldn't see anything but I tried to anyway- it was for Julia, my dream and now this nightmare was for her- it had been and was now. I turned my body as best as I could and started to move my arms in a swimming motion. It occurred to me out of the blue that if Jet were here he'd be laughing his ass off watching my attempt to "swim" to Julia who, by the way, I had no idea where she was. A fish who had no idea where to go or even how to swim, that was the best way to describe the way I felt.
"I bet Jet would be, Spike." Vicious? Was that him? I wasn't sure who it was but I sure as hell knew one thing - this whole dark thing was pissing me off. So was the fact that now I didn't even have to voice anything for me to be heard. Vicious was reading my goddamned thoughts! But if Vicious was here, was here hell? I figured when you were dead you saw gates or fire or something. Was I even dead?
"Not yet Spike but soon," Julia said.
All I wanted was to see her. Damn darkness, I mumbled with frustration.
Then I saw it - a picture started to form in the distance with a bright brilliance. A light in the darkness that consumed me. A glow. A form. A woman! Julia! As I moved towards her, I realized how light my body began to feel. I didn't even have to move, it was as if a pair of invisible hands were pushing me from behind. It felt so good to just float without trying, without running, or moving, just being. I felt so free, felt so distant from my past as if it had never happened and had never chained me down. Around Julia the background became lighter, the glowing of her form spreading out around my darkened world like gentle fingers painting my darkness white until I was in the brilliance of her- Julia.
Then there she was standing on a gray marble staircase forming beneath her feet. The wind from somewhere unknown was catching her beautiful blond hair. It flowed like liquid gold around her face. I still couldn't make out all the details, but I knew it was Julia even if her face was blurry and distorted by the dreamy fog that hung around the air.
Then there was a rush of color. I couldn't believe my eyes. The white around me became alive with vibrancy. I looked down and below me was the earth, shimmering as if water, or as if it was a reflection that filled the empty space above me. It was like I was standing on a mirror of the world around me and yet I was neither in the reflection no more than the earth was above my head. All around me were cherry trees, lush with pink leaves that blew soft petals around the air with a playful tug and blow here and there. The trees outlined the staircase, they were everywhere- as far as the eye could see. Far back in the distance were mountains and hills cascading the land just beyond forever. Not a sound was heard, not even my breathing that was filled with awe broke the silence that was neither stifled or frightening.
Then another figure appeared next to Julia.
I was almost there. The figure next to Julia materialized and became Vicious. But he wasn't the bloodthirsty man who wouldn't rest until he had slain me. The man I locked eyes with was my best friend. The same guy I used to play pool with in the clubs, got drunk with, went after chicks with "before Julia," and just plain caused chaos with. I had forgotten all the fun I had had with him by my side. He looked different when he was smiling with black eyes filled with mature clarity instead of full warped vengeance. The transformation in his face was so drastic as I stared into what had been, what was gone forever save for this moment where time didn't seem to matter. His "white" hair turned to a light shade of blond, and the wrinkles under his eyes were almost completely gone. He smiled and held out his hand. To me?
I reached out my hand, inches from his. Then I stopped.
What the hell was going on here! I had just killed the guy. But before I could utter a single word I realized something- I was going backwards! Julia and Vicious were becoming blurry again. What the hell was going on, just a few seconds ago I was an inch away from them. "Ah, it hurts," I said holding my stomach as pain shot through it. The pain came quick and harsh. It was so intense; it felt like nothing I had ever felt before and I had known what "real" pain was like. I closed my eyes for a few moments, the pain becoming more intense, more fierce as I felt myself drift farther away from Julia, from Vicious. When I opened my eyes the colors around me had faded like water color paintings I once saw on Mars. Julia and Vicious were gone along with the vibrance of my world, no their world not mine.
What was I doing? This was no time to think about damn watercolor paintings or whose world I was in! I had to figure this out. I had to figure out what the hell was going on!
For the moment everything had stopped. I was back-suspended in the darkness that consumed me with hunger once again. At that moment I heard Julia again, "Spike your going back."
"Going back?!" I yelled. No, this wasn't happening, not after all I went through. "No," I yelled loudly as I tried to fight the current that was against me, tugging me away once again from the only one that mattered. It seemed that Julia's words had triggered those same hands that had pushed me to her. Only this time, instead of a gentle push it was a hard pull downward into nothing, then the speed began to pick up. It was too strong to stop, too strong to struggle. I tried so hard to make it stop, tried so hard to fight for my heart, my dream, my death. I didn't want to be alive again. I didn't care if hell was what Vicious, Julia, and I had to live in. It was better then no Julia at all. What was I going to do? What could I do?
Nothing. The word resounded in my head like an echo.
I closed my eyes as the in pain in my stomach came back ten times more intense than before. My body became heavy as I was sucked down a drain that chipped ice away from my body and filled it with needles of relentless pain. Then with a loud thump I was thrown back. Back to reality, back to living in the past, back to the same old bullshit. Only this time I figured it out. By this time all answers and questions didn't matter. I only knew one thing, one God damned thing- I wasn't going anywhere. No matter how many times I tried I wasn't going to die.
God dammit.
I wondered if Vicious was laughing at me right now. Damn you Vicious, you could have aimed better, how about my heart next time huh?
I opened my eyes. Everything seemed to spin- lights, colors, sounds and all. Slowly the room came into focus. I was lying down in a bed with bandages everywhere. An oxygen mask lay on my mouth as the machine pushed my chest up and down. I couldn't breath! I would take a breath but the machine took it back. I moved my hand from my side, tore off the bandage holding the mask on and ripped it off.
"Oh my, you're awake. I'm so sorry about the mask I'll go get the doctor," said a young girl dressed in white scrubs and lab coat that stood by my bed. She ran out of the room before I could say a thing. I laughed a little, thinking about the whole damn situation. I bet the doc was even gonna ask me how I felt.
"Ah, so you're better," a man said standing in the doorway. For a moment I thought he was Jet. But when he came closer I saw the differences. True he was balding, had a beard, but his eyes were a deep intense brown and his nose was alot thinner than my late partner. I laughed; this guy was a hell of a lot older then Jet as well. He had gray streaks everywhere. But I decided that maybe I had better not to tell Jet that. He had enough ego. But didn't we all?
The doctor sat on the end of the bed and eyed me closely. "What?" I managed to choke out, still out of breath.
"Spike, you're the strangest case I've ever had," he said as he shifted positions. Feet shuffled as he moved back and forth from one foot to the other trying to stand comfortably. "You see when you were attacked, or whatever happened, it seems that the knife cut through all of your organs in the abdominal cavity, plus you had a heart attack on the table while we were operating on you. We almost lost you twice but you bounced back." His face filled with seriousness I had seen so many times before. "Let me put this better, by all means you should be dead!"
I looked at him stonily. So what, was I supposed to applaud him for bringing me back? It was his fault I was here looking at him now. I was weary and yet I hated this man before me. how dare he disrupt my death? The only thing I wanted, had needed. But it wasn't really his fault was it? It was my own damned luck.
"Maybe this hasn't all sunken in yet," he said. But no he didn't stop to see if he was right, he just kept on going. "It can be a horrific experience, you must have been through something horrible." Horrible? That was putting it mildly. This guy had no idea. I wondered if I should I tell him? "But anyway"- here it comes- "How do you feel?"- and all with a lovely smile as if everything beforehand was never said at all. I hated doctors.
How do I feel, hell let's see, the love of my life was taken from me, my best friend just tried to kill me, all my subordinates turned against me, and I live in a constant struggle with the past. Now how to sum all that up for you?
"Crappy. I feel really crappy." I said rubbing my temples. Boy did I have a headache. Then I heard a familiar sound.
"Where is he? Damnit someone tell me!" Well lets see that has to be Faye now the next voice is going to be Jet's.
"Faye stop yelling this is a hospital! People are trying to sleep!" Score one for the green afro man. Now last but not least Edward. I was waiting for her to jump on me yelling "Lunkhead!" or "Spike person!".
"Arf, Arf." Dear God no they brought the dog! Oh my God Ein, please don't jump. "OWWWW! Damnit Ein that hurt," I said pushing the two-ton dog off my stomach.
"He's just glad to see you," said Faye walking over to the bed. Were those tears glistening in those cat jaded eyes? Faye crying over me, you've got to be kidding me.
"Down Ein," said Jet walking in behind the purple haired harlot.
"Why did you do it?" I demanded angrily locking eyes with intense blue. My fight, my past, my death! Not his, not Faye's, Mine! Why, Jet? Why the fuck did you let me live?
"Do what? Spike, what are talking about," asked Jet.
God I hated when people played dumb! "Don't play so stupid, someone had to bring me here!" I yelled as if the raspy noises my voice made was a sort of yelling.
"So that's why you're so angry. I figured you would be, you wanted to die and now that you're alive you're pissed. Well, dammit, Spike, Faye and I had nothing to do with this, nothing at all. We heard that you got here from a call my friend gave me. He said 'Spike's in the OR, you might want to check it out,' so we did." Jet crossed his arms.
I lay back on the bed. "So then who brought me?" Energy was lost, weariness was seething in. Who would bring me here? Jet wasn't lying, I could tell and I really had pissed him off by suggesting it too. Then something hit me where was the kid? I was expecting to be bombarded by Ed.
Jet seemed to have read my mind. "She's gone, Spike, her dad was killed about a month ago." Jet turned away, but continued. "He was killed by a falling rock. She has no place to go so she's gonna stay with us for now, " he said sadly. The feeling fit him well, he had become the next best thing to father in Ed's life hadn't he?
Then something hit me. "Uh Jet how long have I been in the hospital?"
Jet turned to face Faye then turned back to me scratching his head. "Why you've been hear three months!"
"Three months!" That couldn't be! It just couldn't be! Shock, utter shock... "How is that possible Jet?" I asked the breath leaking out of my lungs.
"Let me explain," said Faye.
"Uh no that's ok, Faye, I want to hear it from Jet," I said.
"Ok Spike forget I'm even here," Faye said. I head the familiar sarcastic tone to her voice.
"Well," continued Jet, "You got here three months ago, but they had to do a lot of operations on you, they wouldn't let us see you until you awoke from the coma."
"What do you mean 'until I awoke from the coma?" I asked, those word bothering me. My stomach was starting to hurt badly again too but I hid it as best as I could. No, not one more second was I staying in this hell hole that brought people back from their rightful deaths! Best way to get the hell out was to be better, acting like it even if I wasn't.
"Spike they gave you some meds that put you asleep for some time I guess, I don't know, I'm no doctor." Faye laughed. "In a way Spike you were frozen like me only without the cold part. Ha, I guess you could say you got to be sleeping beauty for three months." Yeah sleeping beauty that's me all right. Well, why couldn't I stay sleeping. I decided to be nice, after all Jet could have not come and filled me in that I had been dead for three months.
"Uh thanks for coming, by the way."
Then came in the cute little nurse with the high-pitched voice that reminded me of a mouse. "Mr. Speigal now that you're better we can give you this." She handed me a slip of paper. A bill?! Forty five million woolongs!
"You have to be kidding me! How am I going to pay for this?" I asked in a breathless tone. This was great I had just come back to life and I already owed more then I was worth dead. Why in the hell wasn't I dead for crissakes! "How am I going to pay this off?" I fell backward on the bed that I hadn't even noticed I had sprung from. This was great now what? I needed to find a bounty. But what bounty was gonna pay for all this? I closed my eyes and tried to think.
Hey, Vicious are you laughing at me you bastard? I thought of that image I had seen of Julia and Vicious standing happily. Did I mention they were standing happily dead without me? What really did happen to them and Shin and Lin? I wondered then. Vicious and Julia had looked too alive to be dead, hadn't they? I tried to picture their faces but nothing came to mind. I guess it just wasn't my turn to know. Oh, Julia I hope you're waiting for me at the cemetery. We'll be buried there but we'll be walking among our fellow dead. I laughed half heartily. Then Jet spoke breaking away my morbid thoughts.
"Well Spike you can go home today the doctor said. Are you gonna come back to the ship?" Jet handed me some cloths. But Faye was still holding my pants.
"First things first, just how am I going to pay off this hospital bill?" I asked putting on my shirt, the IV sticking on my wrist until I pulled it out with force that made me grimace. Then I glanced at Faye. "Uh, Faye, I kinda need my pants to get dressed, can you give then to me?" She threw my pants at me and walked out, slamming the door. "What's with her?" I asked putting my pants on, standing wobbly fully clothed.
"She's been acting weird ever since that day, you know when you left to go after Julia. I really don't know what to do about her, so I figure I'll leave her alone. She's bound to come out of it sometime." Jet said. Then he was out the door. He popped his head back in and said "As for the money we'll work on it later you have some time to pay it off." He then disappeared again.
Some time? At the rate I was going I was more likely immortal! Some time meant eternity at that moment.
I sighed; this was going to be fun I thought sarcastically. But what else could I do but to move along with the way things were going? The only option was to go back to the ship now so I was going back to the goddamned shit just about as happy as a mad dog. Man, of all things to happen then on top of the shitload of happenings I got a debt to tie it off nicely. This whole coming back to the world was a pain in my ass and it just kept getting better and better. Then I thought of something- it was really funny by now you would really think I would have of got it through my head that I wasn't going die.
I hit my fist against the wall. " Damnit!" Jet was right I had to keep going. I guess I was just one of those lucky ones that got to be tormented by their past. I loved when people told you to bury and forget. All it ever did was come back and haunt you. I couldn't wait to see what new surprise's awaited me in the life that wouldn't fucking end. One thing was for sure I was done with that bullshit Syndicate. No matter what happened now. I was through. Julia was dead, I really had no reason to live but if I wasn't going to die I might as well walk away.
I knew what I needed. I needed to get drunk. That'd be the first thing. It'd take some of the edge of reality off for a while anyway.
I walked down the hall. It was so poorly lit, and every room seemed to be dark inside. One room was lit and inside was on old man sitting on a chair. He had scars on he face, arms and hands. He looked like he'd had a hard life. I heard the doctor tell him about the operation and how unsuccessful it was. Then he said something like he had no family and he'd leave tomorrow morning. I walked on by. Was that gonna be me in the future? But no, I couldn't die.
"Come on Spike." Jet's voice woke me up from my train of thoughts. I met up with him and Faye who seemed to be better now except that there were tears in her eyes. They stood in front of the glass doors that lead to the outside world I hadn't wanted ever to see again. I looked down at a large woman with huge glasses at the front desk just to the left of freedom, or maybe those glass doors were another form of hell. She handed me a form to sign. A certain part caught my eye. The part about the hospital had nothing to do with any chance that there might be some complications with my operation.
So if I die they can't get blamed how funny was that. They needed to be blamed for not letting me die! But on the bright side I guessed that meant something could happen to me. I wished it would but I knew it wasn't going to.
"Here," I said leaving the paper on the desk as I walked out of the sliding doors into the sunshine. I sighed. " Oh, well here goes nothing." I walked away from the hospital; I followed Jet and Faye to the Taxi waiting with a sour assed driver and sighed heavily. Faye and Jet got in but before I did I looked over my shoulder at the hospital looming in the distance. So here ended the book of my life. That sounded so morbid but it was so damn true. Maybe I won't even be a bounty hunter in my next life. As far as I was concerned I did die in that hospital. Truthfully, what had died in that hospital was my very soul. Or maybe the part that died there wasn't dead, only waiting to be found by another poor soul with a past too damn complicated for the weak.
I got into the taxi and slammed the door shut. I sat on the soft seats that smelled of vomit and maybe garbage. Jet got a cigarette out and lit it. Just looking at it made my mouth drool. "Jet let me have one." I asked, though there was, I admit, a tone of begging in my voice. Jet handed me one. Just the feel of it between my fingers felt good. Like a forgotten helping hand that hadn't been there for a while.
"Here," Jet said handing me his lighter. I lit it and took a puff.
"Boy this is just what I needed," I said. Then I realized that Faye had been starring at me since I had gotten into the taxi.
"Faye what are you looking at?" I said getting annoyed.
"Spike you need a hair cut." She gave me a funny look. "And you need a shower, you smell bad." She said holding her nose.
"Well, Faye," I said sarcastically, "I've been laying in a bed for three months!" I felt the hair on my chin. "Its not like I was conscious enough to get a shave." Then we began to argue about how insensitive I was, and how I was still a jerk. How I didn't care then and how I didn't care about anything now.
."Oh, boy." Jet said, putting his head in his hands.
The taxi drove off, into the late afternoon shadows, the shouting of the cowboy and the gambler heard for miles around.
A/N- There was no time to read this over. So once again forgive the mistakes.