A/N: This is what was probably going on in the minds of the PH people. Wow! I have to write fewer and fewer author's notes. And at the end I will have my from now on annual josh bashing segment. You know who you are and you brought this upon yourselves.

*******************BEN*************************

Betty Do you always stutter?

Do you always have this freaky problem?

Red Only when I'm n-n-nervous

Around girls I want to sleep with

Betty Don't be nervous.

I will sleep with you anyway.

*******************BEN*************************

Billy You're a very special woman, and...well baby, they're training me for war, and we don't know what happens tomorrow. So we gotta make tonight special.

I want you. Bad! Because I can't get laid

Barbra I hope you can back that up, flyboy. Cause you're not ever gonna forget tonight.

I kneed to get laid too. Even if it is with you.

*******************BEN*************************

Evelyn Danny isn't very sure of himself in front of the girls.

Boy, Danny needs to learn some pick-up lines.

Rafe Get him up in a plane, he is sure of himself.

I am a better flier than he is

*******************BEN*************************

RAFE I'm going to the war. The real war. Hitler's taken Europe. The Brits are hanging on by their fingernails, and If they lose, there'll be more people killed than anybody can imagine. And not just there, but here.

I am the only brave one here so,

EVELYN But you're in the U.S. Army, how could you --

I am confused

RAFE Colonel Doolittle pulled the strings, and put me on loan to the R.A.F. They need pilots, and we need experience. I leave tomorrow.

I am the best piolet here.

EVELYN You waited til tonight to tell me?

You're an idiot

RAFE I had to tell you in person. Because there's something else I need to say.

I didn't want to tell you in person so I knew you looked sad.

*******************BEN*************************

RAFE Danny...

Danny

DANNY I can't make it.

I have shrape-metal in my neck. TAKE IT OUT!

RAFE Yes you can.

Ewe, I am not touching that

DANNY Take care of Evelyn.

Make sure Eve. Dose not go out with Goose

RAFE I will. And your baby. You're gonna be a father. Did Danny hear

Do I have to take care of your baby too?

DANNY No. You are.

Yes, you do.

RAFE Danny... Land of the free... Land of the free...

???

*******************BEN*************************

Sorry this was kind of stupid but, I felt like doing in anyway. It was a lot better in my head. And now, josh Bashing:

1. They would have made MUCH more money if Matt Damon was Danny.

2. When josh wasn't born Ben had already done three comercials and a tv movie.

3. Josh hasn't ben nominated for an oscar. Ben has won one.

4. Josh only acts, Ben acts (greatly), produces, directs, AND writs

5. Ben has ben to collage. Josh hasn't.