"You know those moments you were talking about that you were going to remember forever?"
"Yeah?"
Riley smiled and kissed Lucas.
Farkle couldn't help but feel jealous of Riley when he saw her kiss Lucas.
It was strange for him to feel this way. He was always so sure that he had been in love with Riley, and that he would always be in love with her. After all, he had had a crush on her since he first laid eyes on her back when they were just kids. But, seeing her kissing Lucas sent a whole new kind of feeling through him, and although he was immediately able to pinpoint that feeling as jealousy, it look him all too long to realize that it wasn't Lucas he was jealous of.
It was Riley.
Realizing that you have a crush on your best friend is kind of weird.
The first step when it comes to falling for your best friend is denial. When Farkle started to have those bubbling feelings for Lucas, he blamed the whole thing on his spontaneous and uncontrollable hormones. He said that he didn't actually have a crush on his best friend, he was just experimenting with his sexuality a little, and soon everything would be back to normal.
The second step is questioning. When Farkle's feelings deepened, he began to question whether or not he really loved Maya and Riley as much as he always thought. It was possible that he had just been trying to convince himself that he was in love with them, when all that time he was just using that as an excuse, so he wouldn't have to admit the truth to himself. So he wouldn't have to admit that he was in love with a boy.
The third step when it comes to falling for your best friend is acceptance. Knowing that you are in love with them, and even though you're not completely comfortable with the whole situation, putting up with it and just letting it go.
Farkle is having an exceptionally hard time with this step.
Mr. Matthews always said that when it comes to relationship issues, the best person to talk to is Eric.
Luckily, Eric is in town for the weekend.
Farkle knocks on the door of the Matthews' household. It's sort of weird for him to be knocking on the front door, since he usually just enters in through the window in Riley's bedroom. He would do that, but he doesn't really want Riley knowing that he's here.
Because for the first time in a long time, Farkle isn't here for Riley.
"Listen French Fry..."
"It's Farkle, sir..."
"Alright then, listen Farkle. If you really like this boy, then you're going to need to get some courage. I mean, as far as you know, Loofa only thinks that Riley is interested in him, he has no clue that you like him as well. You're going to have to work up the courage to confess to him. That's the only way that he'll ever know that you have a crush on him."
"What are you trying to say, sir?"
"I'm trying to say that in order to know whether or not Luxemburg likes you back, you're going to have to hike up your skirt and ask him!"
Farkle isn't so sure if he can do that.
Lucas is standing in the corridor. For the first time in days, he is alone.
Farkle thinks about what Eric said to him, and knows that Riley's uncle is right. He's never going to know whether or not Lucas likes him back if he doesn't work up the courage to ask him. He really just wants to stay at his own locker and act like a coward, but he finds that his feet are taking him towards Lucas, and there is nothing that he can do about it. No matter how hard he tries to turn around, he just can't.
Lucas notices Farkle and waves. "Oh, hey Buddy!"
Farkle wants to just smile and act like nothing's wrong. Maybe he is a coward after all.
"Lucas, listen..."
Farkle can't read Lucas's face as he stares at him. It's completely blank, it's unreadable.
"You... Like me?"
Farkle suddenly begins to think that maybe confessing to Lucas was a bad idea after all. He had always thought about how he would never know whether or not Lucas returned his feelings unless he asked him. He had never even bothered to think about how confessing to Lucas might ruin their friendship.
He dropped his head. "Um... I was just joking!"
"I'm actually playing a character in a community play, and my character is in love with his best friend. I thought that if I confessed to my best friend, it would be good practice for the scene in the play where my character confesses to his best friend." Farkle knew that his story was one of the stupidest excuses ever, but he hoped that Lucas would buy it.
"But Farkle, you can't act."
"Oh! That's why I'm practicing!"
Lucas laughs, and the bell rings. Farkle watches as Lucas stands, and heads into the classroom. "Well, I'll see you in class, Buddy."
When Lucas is out of sight, Farkle feels the tears beginning to sting in the corner of his eyes. He knows that he should be heading to class, but he just can't bring himself to move from where he is currently standing.
"Yeah. I was... Joking. Just joking."
Farkle has been forced to hide his feelings from Lucas ever since his failed confession.
He watches Lucas and Riley stand together in the hallway and laugh as they talk together. He can't help but feel a pang of jealousy in his heart when he sees Lucas put a hand on Riley's shoulder and look at her with a look of extreme liking.
He wishes that Lucas liked him like that.
"It's for the better. It's got to be for the better. Lucas and I weren't meant to be."
Farkle sits in his room, looking out his window. He's thinking about how Lucas and Riley were talking about going on a date after school. He's trying to accept the fact that Lucas will never love him in the same way he loves Riley.
"It's for the better."
He tells himself that, but he has a hard time believing it.