Author's Rant: There are a number of things that need to be said here so I'll try to get them out as quickly and painlessly as possible. Fact one: I don't own FMA, Arakawa does, and most of the time, she does a good job. Fact two: this fic is written as part of a challenge with mebh, Disastergirl, Megami Ze, ThousandSunnyLyon maryh10000, and ssdropout who all decided to write Roy in the brief period when he was blind. Fact three: yes, I realize I switch POV after each flashback; I wanted to give it a try to see what kind of effect it has. Fact four: I would really appreciate any feedback you can give on this due to my odd use of style. Fact five: no beta was employed/harmed in the making of this work of fan fiction so mistakes are mine alone – feel free to yell at me for them.

Okay, think I got it all. Enjoy!

Reflections & Refractions

"Hawkeye-sensei, look, I did it!"

"And what is it that you exactly did?"

"I made fire… with my hands…"

"My nine year old daughter can do that in the kitchen, boy. Now explain to me like a scientist What You Just Did."

Not surprising that this is the first memory that assaults your mind when you're conscious enough for thought. What had you done? Really, what had you done?

Oh sure, you had saved the entire country, perhaps even the known world. At the very least, you had played a part in said world saving. You are being hailed as a hero – even if one who is oblivious to the limelight he is being showcased under.

No, all those congratulatory cards you can't read, all the get well flowers you have to content yourself by smelling alone, those are not what plague your conscience now.

Because much more important than anything you can smell or hear are the things you feel, things you just know.

"Ms. Hawkeye, I'm so sorry, I didn't watch where I was going!"

"We seem to be running into each other a lot lately."

"It's my fault really; I don't know where my head is these days."

"Probably up in father's study."

He can feel her gaze burning across the room and into his back; he just knows that her golden-red eyes flick towards any unusual sounds that manage to permeate the hospital ward. He can feel his own eyes widening - trying to tempt back the lost light - every time there is a shift in her position.

And he hates what he has done to her.

She is recovering herself; she should not have to worry about him. And he can't even tell her that because it would be pointless. They had grown up worrying about each other until it had become more than habit – a way of life, he fancies. Telling her not to count his every breath would be like asking himself not to keep tabs on her heartbeats – it just couldn't be done.

"The military, huh?"

"Yes, sensei…"

"Can't say why but I expected better of you."

"I want to protect… people."

I wish I could tell you that I never planned this, not any of it. I most certainly did not plan for you to follow me this far. Though I suppose I was only fooling myself thinking you always had options, always had a way out. Because the plain and simple truth is, you were out of choices the moment you shot that man and saved my life in Ishval.

I still don't know if you did the right thing or not, I certainly deserved that death. But you cheated fate out of a victim that day and have been paying for it since. And that's not even the worst of it all.

The worst part is, I Lied To You. All those times I told you to leave my side, I knew you wouldn't. You need me just as much as I need you. So why did I say those words? Only to comfort myself, to keep lying to myself that I was giving you choices when in reality, I took them all away on that day. And now, you're stuck with me. Oh Riza, what have I done?

"Lieutenant, what will you do after I die?"

"I don't plan to live happily ever after without you. My body shall soon after follow the corpse of the Flame Alchemist."

"I had no idea… you've never voiced it out before…"

"I didn't realize I had to, Sir."

End Note: Well, please feel free to leave a review if you have a minute. :) ~ S