Digimon belongs to Toei! It's not mine!
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Shi-chan: This was written in my dressing room at a dance recital. I need a laptop...
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The Image of Me, the Image of You
~By Shimegami-chan
Music: "Steppin' Out," (Takeru and Patamon)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I just realized that for all my Digimon worship, I only have 2 fanfics. (Well, Sadness Colored Sandglass is *big.*) That will now change...
Warnings: I use the Japanese names for this fic. Conversions are below.
Matt=Yamato
T.K.=Takeru
Nancy=Natsuko
Davis=Daisuke
Kari=Hikari
Tai=Taichi
Wearily Natsuko unlocked the door to her apartment and closed it behind her, pulling the deadbolt tight. "Takeru?"
The hallway lights were dark, indicating that her youngest son hadn't returned home yet today. A flash of worry sparked in Natsuko's motherly instincts, but she pushed it away. Takeru was probably out with the Motomiya and Ichijouji boys, or maybe with his digimon. Natsuko had to admit that she liked the little creature, Patamon, wasn't it?
Sighing, Natsuko hung up her heavy coat in the closet and turned on the hallway and kitchen lights in an attempt to brighten up the apartment a little, thinking that she should probably get dinner on soon--Takeru usually didn't miss meals unless he called to let her know, or Miyako-chan's sister would come up and knock on the door to pass the message. Wearily she stopped to look in the hallway mirror, gently tracing her reflection on the glass. Was this the same Takaishi Natsuko she had always been? Her youthful features looked tired and worn. No one had ever said, "Oh, Natsuko, you've gained a little weight..." or "Takaishi-san, you're looking a little haggard lately." It had to be true. Sometimes Natsuko didn't recognize the person looking back at her from the mirror, putting on airs of happiness and covering exhaustion. //A vacation would be nice,// she decided. //Spend some time with Takeru.//
A guilty twinge sparked at the back of her mind. //And Yamato.// Her oldest son had grown up without a mother, and she had done nothing to stop it. Yamato, who looked so much like Natsuko herself...the face she saw in her mirror; the pale complexion, fine blonde hair, expressive blue eyes; she shared with the child she'd had to leave behind all that time ago. Takeru took after his father, though not enough so that it caused her pain to compare them. But she and Yamato...
Tearing her thoughts away from her children and her eyes away from her reflection, Natsuko shuffled into the kitchen and turned on the stove.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
//Focus.//
Natsuko shook her head to clear it, wondering how long she had been drifting off for. The open text file on the computer screen sat blank, begging to be filled, but the blonde couldn't even begin to put her thoughts into words. She held a pale hand to her heart. //I definitely need a break. I'll put in for some off-time first thing in the morning.//
In the living room, the clock chimed in time with each beat of her pulse. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. How long had she been sitting here? Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Ten o'clock. Why couldn't she finish this assignment? Where was Takeru?
Holding the back of the chair for support, Natsuko rose and went to the kitchen for a glass of water, checking on the rice on the counter as she did so. It had gone cold, but she wasn't hungry. Had she eaten at all today? Coffee, in the morning, was the clearest memory she had of the long day. Coffee sounded good right about now. Wrapping her arms around herself, Natsuko poured herself a cup and turned up the heat in the small apartment before taking it back to the kitchen and adding sugar. Yamato took his coffee black. Takeru preferred tea.
//Why did I just think that?//
Ignoring the thought, Natsuko bit her lip and picked up the phone, dialing a number tacked to the fridge.
"Moshi-moshi, Yagami residence!"
"Taichi-kun? This is Takaishi Natsuko..."
"Yamato's okassan."
"That's right. I was looking for Takeru...is he over there? With Hikari-chan?"
"Just a sec." There was a scuffle as Taichi covered the speaker, and a pause. "Gomen, Hikari-chan says she hasn't seen him today. Maybe he's with Daisuke."
"Thank you, Taichi-kun."
"You're welcome. Sayonara!" There was a click as the boy hung up the phone.
Natsuko dialed the Motomiya house instead. "Could I speak with Daisuke-kun please?"
"Sure." The female who had answered the phone screamed, "NIISAN! PHONE!" and sighed into the receiver for a few minutes before another extension picked up. "Daisuke? It's for you. It's a *girl.*"
Daisuke mumbled something. "Jun. Hang up. Now." Jun giggled again and the second line went dead. "Hello?"
"Hello, this is Takaishi Natsuko, and I was wondering if you'd seen Takeru today..."
"Oh, Takeru no okaasan! Nope. Haven't seen him at all today. Maybe he's with..." Daisuke coughed. "...Hikari-chan..."
"No, I've called the Yagamis. Thank you, though, Daisuke-kun."
"No problem. Good bye, Takaishi-san!"
"Arigatou, good-bye." She hung up, checking the list of numbers on the fridge again. One more try.
"Moshi-moshi, Ichijouji residence, Ken speaking..."
"Konbanwa, Ken-kun. This is Takaishi Natsuko."
"Konbanwa, Takaishi-san. How can I help you?" Ever the gentleman, Ken listened attentively.
"I'm looking for Takeru, he hasn't come home yet. Have you seen him today?"
"I haven't, no. Have you tried Hikari-san?"
"I have, Hikari-chan, and Daisuke-kun. He's not with them."
"Miyako-chan and Iori-kun are out with Koushirou-sempai. He wouldn't be with them. Perhaps he's with Yamato-san."
"Yamato?" The idea hadn't even occured to Natsuko. "I doubt it. He's not...in the digital world, is he?"
"I wouldn't say so," Ken assured her. "He's probably just out somewhere with Patamon. I...can check for you. I'll send him an e-mail."
"Thank you, Ken-kun." She tapped her fingers lightly on the countertop, stirring her coffee.
After a few seconds Ken's calm voice returned. "I've gotten no answer, but my D-3 says he isn't far away. Let's see...I'll give you directions..."
"Thanks." Natsuko composed the numbers to memory, and hung up the phone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
//He must have the wrong place.//
Natsuko had followed Ken's instructions to the letter and now her car was parked in front of the Ishida residence. //Takeru was with Yamato after all. I should have realized.// She stood on the doorstep, torn between knocking or getting back in the car and running away. Gingerly she tapped on the door, praying that Masaharu wouldn't answer.
"Natsuko." A deep voice from behind her made the slight woman jump.
She turned slowly. "Masaharu."
"What brings you here?" he questioned gently.
"T-Takeru's here...and it's getting late."
"I see." Her ex-husband extracted a ring of keys from his pocket and unlocked the door, gesturing for Natsuko to follow. "Come on in for a moment." The hallway was dark, as was the kitchen. "Strange," Masahru commented, flicking on the kitchen lights. "Yamato usually cleans up." Two sets of dishes were in the sink and a covered frying pan still sat on the stove. A pink apron was thrown over the back of one of the chairs and Takeru's hat was on the table, along with a small white-and-green object and a tiny hend-held computer. Connected to the digital world, Natsuko guessed. A green uniform blazer was hooked on one of the cupboard knobs.
Masaharu motioned to the living room. Quietly Natsuko slipped in, letting her eyes adjust to the dim lamplight. The television was on as well, airing a commercial for some video game. Turning her eyes to the other side of the room, Natsuko located her missing son. Takeru was curled up on the couch, leaning against Yamato. The former was fast asleep, but Yamato glanced up at his parents in the doorway and smiled wryly. Patamon was curled up in Takeru's arms, his large ears falling over his closed eyes. Sheets of music were spread out on the wooden table, and Yamato held a clipboard and a pencil. "Hello, Tousan. Kaasan."
"Hello, Yamato." Natsuko's heart leapt as it always did when she saw her oldest son. "Takeru..."
"He came over for dinner," Yamato explained. "We got to talking and he fell asleep...he was so tired, I just worked on my music while he slept. You've come to take him home?"
"Hai..." Natsuko stepped closer and brushed Takeru's bangs away from his face, then looked Yamato in his clear blue eyes. "Thank you." She squeezed his hand, marvelling at the slimness of his fingers, just like hers.
Yamato smiled distantly and set his clipboard down, poking at the sleeping digimon's ear. "Oi, Patamon."
Patamon's wide eyes winked blearily at the older boy. "Is it morning?"
"Nah." Yamato scooped up the little creature and set it on his shoulder, waiting for Patamon to get a hold on his shirt. "You two are heading home, it looks like. Come on, 'Nii-chan." Gently he eased his shoulder out from under Takeru's head and slid his arms beneath the younger boy's knees and arms. Takeru continued to sleep. Yamato glanced at his parents. "Should I take him out to the car?"
"Go ahead," Masahru said gruffly.
"Patamon, grab his digivice, would you?" The digimon obligingly flapped into the kitchen with Natsuko close behind. Hesitantly she took Yamato's green jacket and Takeru's hat, leaving the tech devices to her son's partner. Patamon took the D-3 and terminal and returned to Yamato's side.
Holding the jacket close, Natsuko bowed quickly to Masaharu. "Thank you. See you again."
"Sayonara, Natsuko." Her ex-husband offered her a smile that she returned in relief. Natsuko nodded and shut the door behind herself, watching Yamato carefully to make sure he didn't stumble over the steps.
Wordlessly Natsuko unlocked the car door and opened it for Yamato to seat Takeru in the back and pull the belt across him. Patamon returned to his place in Takeru's arms.
Natsuko glanced at her sleeping son, wondering distantly if she would be able to carry him all the way to the apartment. Takeru was twelve now, and a lot bigger than he used to be. Yamato gently put his hand on her shoulder and accepted his jacket. "I'll go with you."
"I couldn't, Yamato. How would you get home?"
"I'll take the subway. I'm fifteen, okaasan, I can handle myself."
"Yamato..."
The boy rolled his eyes and opened the passenger car door.
Natsuko sighed. //He probably got his stubbornness from me, too.//
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The ride back to the Takaishi residence was quiet--polite conversation was all that passed between mother and son. Natsuko asked about Yamato's band, and school, and his everyday life. Once she'd run out of questions Yamato asked about her work, and how she'd been, and then, he said it: "Kaasan, you look unhappy. Is something wrong?"
Someone had noticed that she wasn't herself, and it was Yamato, of all people. "I'm fine, Yamato. Just bogged down with work. I'm exhausted. I...don't see nearly enough of you or Takeru."
Yamato nodded slowly. "Mou...I don't even know. I never make an effort to see you. I see Takeru all the time. Especially now that the mess in the digital world is cleaned up. I'm just...busy. And nervous."
"How so?" Natsuko gripped the wheel and cast a hesitant glance at her oldest son.
"Forget it. Never mind." He stared straight ahead.
"I want to see you, Yamato," she said quietly. "I'm sorry if I haven't been there for you all this time."
"It's okay." His stony expression eased a little. "I'm sorry too."
They passed the rest of the ride in silence.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Balancing his little brother in his arms and his digimon on his head, Yamato made it effortlessly all the way to Natsuko and Takeru's apartment. Natsuko opened the door followed her two sons to Takeru's room, where Yamato set Takeru down on the bed and pulled the sheets up to his chin. "Goodnight, little brother."
"Have a seat, Yamato." Natsuko offered. "I'll get you some coffee."
Her elder son yawmed, lack of sleep taking its toll: It was nearly midnight now. "Thank you."
Natsuko nodded and went into the kitchen, her unfinished coffee from that evening cold on the counter. She poured two cups and added sugar to one, then milk, before eyeing the second cup carefully. //Yamato takes his coffee black.//
Nodding in satisfaction that the thought had been of use after all, she brought both drinks into tbe living room and set them down on the table. Yamato was sitting on the couch, his head tipping forward, arms crossed over his chest. "Yamato? Are you awake?"
Getting no answer, Natsuko sat in the armchair and watched him sleep. His expression was peaceful, his breathing even. His limbs were relaxed. He was pale, like a porcelain doll; Natsuko realized.
//Like me.//
Natsuko rose and set her cup down on the table, touching Yamato's cheek gently. //He's a good kid. Maybe I didn't raise him, but he was raised right.// She walked slowly into the hall, then to Takeru's bedroom. The younger boy mumbled something in his sleep and smiled, clutching Patamon. Natsuko left the door ajar and opened the closet in the hall instead. The blonde woman gathered an armful of blankets in one arm and the cordless phone in the other, dialing a number that she had never quite forgotten.
"Moshi-moshi, Ishida residence."
"Hello, Masaharu."
There was a pause. "Natsuko."
"Yes. Yamato's fallen asleep, and I thought it'd be better if he stayed than if I sent him home this late."
"Should I pick him up?"
"If you want." She didn't.
Masaharu had always been perceptive. "Tell him I'll see him tomorrow then."
"Thank you," she said, releived.
She almost heard him smile. "Take care of him for me."
"I will." Turning the phone off with one hand, she set it down in its cradle in the hall before pausing to stare into the mirror again. There was that unfamiliar woman again--or was it? Natsuko smiled tentatively at her reflection, feeling better with this image. She was tired, yes. Overworked, definitely. But she was herself again.
//I must have done something right.// She saw in herself features her sons shared, pushing a strand of hair behind her left ear. Yamato had her eyes. Takeru her smile. Both boys shared her heart, as did Masaharu, even after everything they'd been through. //Somehow...//
Smiling genuinely at the mirror, Natsuko turned off the lights and returned to the living room. Yamato was leaning against the side of the sofa now, his arms tucked under his head, still fast asleep. She unbuttoned his green jacket and draped the blanket over the sleeping form. "I'm not strong like you, Yamato." Natsuko whispered, brushing his blonde hair back from his face. "I love you, even if I did everything wrong. Forgive me. Yamato. Takeru. Somewhere in the middle of all my mistakes..."
Returning to the armchair, she pulled a wollen blanket around herself and cast a last glance at Yamato before turning off the lamp. "Somehow, everything worked out okay after all."
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Shi-chan: That has to be the hardest fic I have ever written. That took *six hours.*
Seki: Pending the computer freezing on the third paragraph.
Ken: I think you really scared people screaming like that.
Shi-chan: ...sorry...
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Shi-chan: This was written in my dressing room at a dance recital. I need a laptop...
---------------------------
The Image of Me, the Image of You
~By Shimegami-chan
Music: "Steppin' Out," (Takeru and Patamon)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I just realized that for all my Digimon worship, I only have 2 fanfics. (Well, Sadness Colored Sandglass is *big.*) That will now change...
Warnings: I use the Japanese names for this fic. Conversions are below.
Matt=Yamato
T.K.=Takeru
Nancy=Natsuko
Davis=Daisuke
Kari=Hikari
Tai=Taichi
Wearily Natsuko unlocked the door to her apartment and closed it behind her, pulling the deadbolt tight. "Takeru?"
The hallway lights were dark, indicating that her youngest son hadn't returned home yet today. A flash of worry sparked in Natsuko's motherly instincts, but she pushed it away. Takeru was probably out with the Motomiya and Ichijouji boys, or maybe with his digimon. Natsuko had to admit that she liked the little creature, Patamon, wasn't it?
Sighing, Natsuko hung up her heavy coat in the closet and turned on the hallway and kitchen lights in an attempt to brighten up the apartment a little, thinking that she should probably get dinner on soon--Takeru usually didn't miss meals unless he called to let her know, or Miyako-chan's sister would come up and knock on the door to pass the message. Wearily she stopped to look in the hallway mirror, gently tracing her reflection on the glass. Was this the same Takaishi Natsuko she had always been? Her youthful features looked tired and worn. No one had ever said, "Oh, Natsuko, you've gained a little weight..." or "Takaishi-san, you're looking a little haggard lately." It had to be true. Sometimes Natsuko didn't recognize the person looking back at her from the mirror, putting on airs of happiness and covering exhaustion. //A vacation would be nice,// she decided. //Spend some time with Takeru.//
A guilty twinge sparked at the back of her mind. //And Yamato.// Her oldest son had grown up without a mother, and she had done nothing to stop it. Yamato, who looked so much like Natsuko herself...the face she saw in her mirror; the pale complexion, fine blonde hair, expressive blue eyes; she shared with the child she'd had to leave behind all that time ago. Takeru took after his father, though not enough so that it caused her pain to compare them. But she and Yamato...
Tearing her thoughts away from her children and her eyes away from her reflection, Natsuko shuffled into the kitchen and turned on the stove.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
//Focus.//
Natsuko shook her head to clear it, wondering how long she had been drifting off for. The open text file on the computer screen sat blank, begging to be filled, but the blonde couldn't even begin to put her thoughts into words. She held a pale hand to her heart. //I definitely need a break. I'll put in for some off-time first thing in the morning.//
In the living room, the clock chimed in time with each beat of her pulse. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. How long had she been sitting here? Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Ten o'clock. Why couldn't she finish this assignment? Where was Takeru?
Holding the back of the chair for support, Natsuko rose and went to the kitchen for a glass of water, checking on the rice on the counter as she did so. It had gone cold, but she wasn't hungry. Had she eaten at all today? Coffee, in the morning, was the clearest memory she had of the long day. Coffee sounded good right about now. Wrapping her arms around herself, Natsuko poured herself a cup and turned up the heat in the small apartment before taking it back to the kitchen and adding sugar. Yamato took his coffee black. Takeru preferred tea.
//Why did I just think that?//
Ignoring the thought, Natsuko bit her lip and picked up the phone, dialing a number tacked to the fridge.
"Moshi-moshi, Yagami residence!"
"Taichi-kun? This is Takaishi Natsuko..."
"Yamato's okassan."
"That's right. I was looking for Takeru...is he over there? With Hikari-chan?"
"Just a sec." There was a scuffle as Taichi covered the speaker, and a pause. "Gomen, Hikari-chan says she hasn't seen him today. Maybe he's with Daisuke."
"Thank you, Taichi-kun."
"You're welcome. Sayonara!" There was a click as the boy hung up the phone.
Natsuko dialed the Motomiya house instead. "Could I speak with Daisuke-kun please?"
"Sure." The female who had answered the phone screamed, "NIISAN! PHONE!" and sighed into the receiver for a few minutes before another extension picked up. "Daisuke? It's for you. It's a *girl.*"
Daisuke mumbled something. "Jun. Hang up. Now." Jun giggled again and the second line went dead. "Hello?"
"Hello, this is Takaishi Natsuko, and I was wondering if you'd seen Takeru today..."
"Oh, Takeru no okaasan! Nope. Haven't seen him at all today. Maybe he's with..." Daisuke coughed. "...Hikari-chan..."
"No, I've called the Yagamis. Thank you, though, Daisuke-kun."
"No problem. Good bye, Takaishi-san!"
"Arigatou, good-bye." She hung up, checking the list of numbers on the fridge again. One more try.
"Moshi-moshi, Ichijouji residence, Ken speaking..."
"Konbanwa, Ken-kun. This is Takaishi Natsuko."
"Konbanwa, Takaishi-san. How can I help you?" Ever the gentleman, Ken listened attentively.
"I'm looking for Takeru, he hasn't come home yet. Have you seen him today?"
"I haven't, no. Have you tried Hikari-san?"
"I have, Hikari-chan, and Daisuke-kun. He's not with them."
"Miyako-chan and Iori-kun are out with Koushirou-sempai. He wouldn't be with them. Perhaps he's with Yamato-san."
"Yamato?" The idea hadn't even occured to Natsuko. "I doubt it. He's not...in the digital world, is he?"
"I wouldn't say so," Ken assured her. "He's probably just out somewhere with Patamon. I...can check for you. I'll send him an e-mail."
"Thank you, Ken-kun." She tapped her fingers lightly on the countertop, stirring her coffee.
After a few seconds Ken's calm voice returned. "I've gotten no answer, but my D-3 says he isn't far away. Let's see...I'll give you directions..."
"Thanks." Natsuko composed the numbers to memory, and hung up the phone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
//He must have the wrong place.//
Natsuko had followed Ken's instructions to the letter and now her car was parked in front of the Ishida residence. //Takeru was with Yamato after all. I should have realized.// She stood on the doorstep, torn between knocking or getting back in the car and running away. Gingerly she tapped on the door, praying that Masaharu wouldn't answer.
"Natsuko." A deep voice from behind her made the slight woman jump.
She turned slowly. "Masaharu."
"What brings you here?" he questioned gently.
"T-Takeru's here...and it's getting late."
"I see." Her ex-husband extracted a ring of keys from his pocket and unlocked the door, gesturing for Natsuko to follow. "Come on in for a moment." The hallway was dark, as was the kitchen. "Strange," Masahru commented, flicking on the kitchen lights. "Yamato usually cleans up." Two sets of dishes were in the sink and a covered frying pan still sat on the stove. A pink apron was thrown over the back of one of the chairs and Takeru's hat was on the table, along with a small white-and-green object and a tiny hend-held computer. Connected to the digital world, Natsuko guessed. A green uniform blazer was hooked on one of the cupboard knobs.
Masaharu motioned to the living room. Quietly Natsuko slipped in, letting her eyes adjust to the dim lamplight. The television was on as well, airing a commercial for some video game. Turning her eyes to the other side of the room, Natsuko located her missing son. Takeru was curled up on the couch, leaning against Yamato. The former was fast asleep, but Yamato glanced up at his parents in the doorway and smiled wryly. Patamon was curled up in Takeru's arms, his large ears falling over his closed eyes. Sheets of music were spread out on the wooden table, and Yamato held a clipboard and a pencil. "Hello, Tousan. Kaasan."
"Hello, Yamato." Natsuko's heart leapt as it always did when she saw her oldest son. "Takeru..."
"He came over for dinner," Yamato explained. "We got to talking and he fell asleep...he was so tired, I just worked on my music while he slept. You've come to take him home?"
"Hai..." Natsuko stepped closer and brushed Takeru's bangs away from his face, then looked Yamato in his clear blue eyes. "Thank you." She squeezed his hand, marvelling at the slimness of his fingers, just like hers.
Yamato smiled distantly and set his clipboard down, poking at the sleeping digimon's ear. "Oi, Patamon."
Patamon's wide eyes winked blearily at the older boy. "Is it morning?"
"Nah." Yamato scooped up the little creature and set it on his shoulder, waiting for Patamon to get a hold on his shirt. "You two are heading home, it looks like. Come on, 'Nii-chan." Gently he eased his shoulder out from under Takeru's head and slid his arms beneath the younger boy's knees and arms. Takeru continued to sleep. Yamato glanced at his parents. "Should I take him out to the car?"
"Go ahead," Masahru said gruffly.
"Patamon, grab his digivice, would you?" The digimon obligingly flapped into the kitchen with Natsuko close behind. Hesitantly she took Yamato's green jacket and Takeru's hat, leaving the tech devices to her son's partner. Patamon took the D-3 and terminal and returned to Yamato's side.
Holding the jacket close, Natsuko bowed quickly to Masaharu. "Thank you. See you again."
"Sayonara, Natsuko." Her ex-husband offered her a smile that she returned in relief. Natsuko nodded and shut the door behind herself, watching Yamato carefully to make sure he didn't stumble over the steps.
Wordlessly Natsuko unlocked the car door and opened it for Yamato to seat Takeru in the back and pull the belt across him. Patamon returned to his place in Takeru's arms.
Natsuko glanced at her sleeping son, wondering distantly if she would be able to carry him all the way to the apartment. Takeru was twelve now, and a lot bigger than he used to be. Yamato gently put his hand on her shoulder and accepted his jacket. "I'll go with you."
"I couldn't, Yamato. How would you get home?"
"I'll take the subway. I'm fifteen, okaasan, I can handle myself."
"Yamato..."
The boy rolled his eyes and opened the passenger car door.
Natsuko sighed. //He probably got his stubbornness from me, too.//
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The ride back to the Takaishi residence was quiet--polite conversation was all that passed between mother and son. Natsuko asked about Yamato's band, and school, and his everyday life. Once she'd run out of questions Yamato asked about her work, and how she'd been, and then, he said it: "Kaasan, you look unhappy. Is something wrong?"
Someone had noticed that she wasn't herself, and it was Yamato, of all people. "I'm fine, Yamato. Just bogged down with work. I'm exhausted. I...don't see nearly enough of you or Takeru."
Yamato nodded slowly. "Mou...I don't even know. I never make an effort to see you. I see Takeru all the time. Especially now that the mess in the digital world is cleaned up. I'm just...busy. And nervous."
"How so?" Natsuko gripped the wheel and cast a hesitant glance at her oldest son.
"Forget it. Never mind." He stared straight ahead.
"I want to see you, Yamato," she said quietly. "I'm sorry if I haven't been there for you all this time."
"It's okay." His stony expression eased a little. "I'm sorry too."
They passed the rest of the ride in silence.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Balancing his little brother in his arms and his digimon on his head, Yamato made it effortlessly all the way to Natsuko and Takeru's apartment. Natsuko opened the door followed her two sons to Takeru's room, where Yamato set Takeru down on the bed and pulled the sheets up to his chin. "Goodnight, little brother."
"Have a seat, Yamato." Natsuko offered. "I'll get you some coffee."
Her elder son yawmed, lack of sleep taking its toll: It was nearly midnight now. "Thank you."
Natsuko nodded and went into the kitchen, her unfinished coffee from that evening cold on the counter. She poured two cups and added sugar to one, then milk, before eyeing the second cup carefully. //Yamato takes his coffee black.//
Nodding in satisfaction that the thought had been of use after all, she brought both drinks into tbe living room and set them down on the table. Yamato was sitting on the couch, his head tipping forward, arms crossed over his chest. "Yamato? Are you awake?"
Getting no answer, Natsuko sat in the armchair and watched him sleep. His expression was peaceful, his breathing even. His limbs were relaxed. He was pale, like a porcelain doll; Natsuko realized.
//Like me.//
Natsuko rose and set her cup down on the table, touching Yamato's cheek gently. //He's a good kid. Maybe I didn't raise him, but he was raised right.// She walked slowly into the hall, then to Takeru's bedroom. The younger boy mumbled something in his sleep and smiled, clutching Patamon. Natsuko left the door ajar and opened the closet in the hall instead. The blonde woman gathered an armful of blankets in one arm and the cordless phone in the other, dialing a number that she had never quite forgotten.
"Moshi-moshi, Ishida residence."
"Hello, Masaharu."
There was a pause. "Natsuko."
"Yes. Yamato's fallen asleep, and I thought it'd be better if he stayed than if I sent him home this late."
"Should I pick him up?"
"If you want." She didn't.
Masaharu had always been perceptive. "Tell him I'll see him tomorrow then."
"Thank you," she said, releived.
She almost heard him smile. "Take care of him for me."
"I will." Turning the phone off with one hand, she set it down in its cradle in the hall before pausing to stare into the mirror again. There was that unfamiliar woman again--or was it? Natsuko smiled tentatively at her reflection, feeling better with this image. She was tired, yes. Overworked, definitely. But she was herself again.
//I must have done something right.// She saw in herself features her sons shared, pushing a strand of hair behind her left ear. Yamato had her eyes. Takeru her smile. Both boys shared her heart, as did Masaharu, even after everything they'd been through. //Somehow...//
Smiling genuinely at the mirror, Natsuko turned off the lights and returned to the living room. Yamato was leaning against the side of the sofa now, his arms tucked under his head, still fast asleep. She unbuttoned his green jacket and draped the blanket over the sleeping form. "I'm not strong like you, Yamato." Natsuko whispered, brushing his blonde hair back from his face. "I love you, even if I did everything wrong. Forgive me. Yamato. Takeru. Somewhere in the middle of all my mistakes..."
Returning to the armchair, she pulled a wollen blanket around herself and cast a last glance at Yamato before turning off the lamp. "Somehow, everything worked out okay after all."
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Shi-chan: That has to be the hardest fic I have ever written. That took *six hours.*
Seki: Pending the computer freezing on the third paragraph.
Ken: I think you really scared people screaming like that.
Shi-chan: ...sorry...