"Jazz."
"And see my favorite seeker a-flyin-"
"Jazz!"
"Away up there high in the sky-"
"JAZZ!"
I glared up at my annoying Special Ops co-spy and smuggler, who winked at me in return, a look of innocence plastered across his angelic face.
"Whaa-aat?" he asked, playfully flipping over my head so I'd have to turn to keep looking to him, but stopping the song.
"You know." I informed him, lifting my chin in pretended fury. "And I'll glitch slap ya if ya do it again."
" That's what I love about your love, knocks me off my feet, takes me on a trip to another galaxy-"
"JAZZ!""At the danger of repeating myself, what? Admit it; your 'pet project', pun intended, worked, and now you get your new toys. You're happy, I'm happy, the world's happy. Why can't I play my music?"
"I'm sure you're happy only because I chose Soundwave and Co. to join my list of pets." I replied airily, smirking as my Autobot friend stiffened almost imperceptibly.
"No, it's because I get a front row seat as you go gah-gah all over Starscream. And," Almost as afterthought, "Skywarp."
"Nope." I replied, popping the P and skipping to where I was walking backwards in front of him. " It's Soundwave."
"When I tickle your wings at night…"
"JAZZ! Alright, I'll admit I'm happy I can have that pretty seeker all to myself, him and his trine. But I took in Soundwave for you."
"Liar."
"Hey, you're not a telepath, you're not allowed to know stuff like that." I lunged at him, but he easily dodged my feeble attempt at tackling his peds.
His peds were ticklish, and I was the only one who knew that.
Besides Soundwave, of course.
Can't hide nothing from the best telepath on earth, and he found that juicy little detail out many years ago, on a rare occasion Jazz and I were caught in the act of snooping.
For the next several minutes, we played Chase The Autobot, but I soon gave up and stood panting in the middle of the deserted road as the dawn light slowly stole over us.
Jazz grinned his easy grin at me as he sauntered over. " Guess the months spent in that dusty old lab softened you up a bit, eh Abby?"
I snorted. "Hardly. I just didn't want to catch you, that's all."
Jazz slowly shook his head in mock pity. " And Starscream is your secret twin."
"Come on. Prowl'll have our hides if we don't get ourselves over there to collect our prizes."
"Your prizes."
"Whatever, hotshot."
Thirty minutes later, I stood in front of row upon row of Decepticons, all my chin height or shorter, barring Soundwave and Megatron alone, who both were exactly my height and not an inch higher.
I already knew who I wanted, but still put on a show of considering different mechs before I snapped my fingers and pointed out four specific 'cons.
"Him, him, him, and him, all casseticons included." I indicated my choices, and Prime's optical ridges rose as he shook his head in exasperation.
"You're too predictable." Jazz called from the sidelines, and I sent him a glare.
He was busy collecting prize money from the few spectators who had been foolish enough to bet on me choosing other 'cons, but still had time to respond with an impudent grin.
"If you're sure…" Prowl was none to eager to let me have my new pets either, his doorwings twitching in agitation as he viewed the way I hungrily looked at Starscream-and his trine, for what it's worth.
Prime picked up the shackled and gagged seekers, then led forth a less encumbered Soundwave.
"Here you are." He sighed as he set them before me. "No chance you'll reconsider?"
I eagerly drank in the sight before me: Starscream, his sleek, trim body gleaming in the sunlight as it bounced off the reds and whites of his attractive frame, the yellow cockpit cover in his middle inviting me to touch, to rub my palm carefully over the glossy surface, his slender blue fingers clenching and unclenching in nervous fury, slim blue wrists bound together by heavy chains, his proud wings fanned out to the side in a false display of dominance as he stood helpless, his handsome charcoal face turned defiantly up at mine in contrast to his trine, who cowered in terror.
Deliberately, I let my blue/green eyes meet his glowing red ones, and he glared spitefully for an astrosecond before dropping them in fear; surely he'd seen the desire burning in my stare.
Fear, because of what Jazz and I meant to the Decepticons.
We were the reason a whole army would pace awake at night, jumping at every movement in the shadows, having heard that we were prowling about, or Megatron would seclude himself in a bomb shelter, far from his own troops in an attempt to hide from our insane schemes and us.
We meant to them what Soundwave meant to us: fear of the unknown attack that was forever forthcoming, and when it did, it was quick, deadly and inventive.
Then I let my eyes skim over the other two seekers, lingering a second longer then I probably should have on Skywarp's fine wings, and Thundercracker's handsome face, then over to the stoic blue telepath known as Soundwave.
His visor met my gaze calmly, and he did not flinch away like the other 'cons.
Any chance I would reconsider my choices?
"None at all." I assured Prime, and he sighed again.
"Jazz warned me as much." This was Ratchet, coming in to inspect my choices.
"Nothing changes her mind once she makes it up." Bumblebee stated proudly.
Ratchet merely grumbled as he meticulously checked over the four 'cons.
I looked inquisitively at my two partners in the pet project, Wheeljack and Perceptor. "Didn't you guys remove the thrusters, weapons, and the transformation systems already?"
"Sure did." Wheeljack replied. " Ratchet's just nervous like the rest of us minus you and Jazz, afraid we missed something and when they turn on you, they'll getcha."
"Why do you want a year's supply of the miniaturization injections, energon cubes in multiple flavors, and energon treats anyway?" Perceptor asked. "You know you can always just come here and-"
"We have plans, her and I." Jazz winked as he appeared beside the red scientist, who jumped in surprise.
Prime, Prowl, and Ratchet froze, then exchanged looks.
"What plans?" Prime rumbled sternly, straightening to his full height and looking down on us. " I was unaware of any plans you two may have made."
My spy partner and I gave him our best, 'oh, nothin' grins, but he had worked with us far to long to be pulled in by that.
None of the Autobots were really, not by this time anyway.
"Spit them out." Ratchet ordered, when we didn't immediately respond verbally to Prime's question/order.
"You see, we are both into show," I began.
"And music," Jazz added.
"So we thought we'd go on a world tour, just him and I and our new pets, telling the story of the Great War in song and dance." I finished, flashing another innocent grin.
"There's more." Ironhide grunted.
Jazz threw him a wounded look, but Prowl was nodding. "Go on." He prompted, and Jazz backed off with a bow.
Great. I would get to explain this part, and I wasn't even very good at it!
Thanks, buddy.
" Well, you see," I began somewhat nervously. " There is always a good use for experienced smugglers-"
"I knew it!" Prowl interrupted. " I just knew it!"
"Let her finish." Prime gently admonished his second, and Prowl promptly subsided.
I edged closer to Starscream and fondled the edge of one of his trembling wings, rubbing it between the palms of my hands before tweaking the tip in my fingertips as I continued, relishing in the silky smoothness of the softened metal, and allowing it to sooth my own nerves.
" There are starving people in oppressed countries, that need food, medicine, clean water, and clothing, but their governments won't let anyone in to help. There are good people trapped in prisons all over the world that need to be broken out. There are those that wish for Bibles, you know, us Christian's Holy Book, that tell us how we should live, our form of kinda-Matrix from the One who created us humans? Yes, that one. Well, there is a great need for them and once more, their governments won't let anyone in. There already is a great deal of smuggling going on, but they need expert help, and we are that help. When we don't go in ourselves, we can spy and alert those innocents to the authorities who would harm them. So please Prime, can we go?"
"You know they'll go whether you say so or not, so you may as well save yourself the trouble and say yes." Ratchet informed Prime resignedly.
I was rubbing Starscream's shuddering wing in reflex now, anxiously awaiting permission from our leader, rubbing small circles across the gleaming tip with my thumb.
Prime looked from me to Jazz, and rubbed his chin, deep in thought.
Finally, " Yes, you have my permission."
"Oh, thank you Prime!" we both hollered at once, and, releasing Starscream's wing, I threw myself against the massive shins in a hug that didn't even reach.
Oh well, I tried.
As I pulled away from Prime, I noticed something that made possessive rage boil up inside me.
Blaster was stroking the side of Soundwave's face with one hand, and sliding the other one around his smooth body…
"Hands off, you slagger!" I shrieked, barreling into him before he even realized I was near him, using a move Jazz had taught me to neatly bowl him aside.
Even 17 foot tall bots have their weaknesses, and I sure knew most, if not all of them, by now.
As I picked myself up and glared at Blaster, with whom I'd never gotten along with due to his obsession with Rock music, which I hated, I heard Jazz muttering something just loud enough for me to hear.
"All for me baby, yep I believe you on this, 100%."
I ignored him.