So, ok.. hello everyone.. this is the first time i wrote a brittana fic so.. there. :)
i don't own anything.
The moment you laid your eyes on her, you know you found your weakness.
You know what you are even from the start. You know that you're not into boys really. It's just hard for you really to cope with the idea because you live in this place. In Lima fucking Ohio. A place where different is non-existence.
Yes, you're a cheerio and you're only doing what others dictate. Cheerio means being a bitch, a slut even. That's how stereotype works, and you knew how to play it perfectly. You ride what they ride and you do what they do. You play fire with the jocks just like how Regina George plays in Mean Girls. You learned how to act tough, you learn how to act as if you care about nothing.
But when it comes to her, you can do nothing. She's like the sunshine that giving light to the withering plant. She's the sweetest person you know. And by the time you saw her, you knew, you can't be without her. She became your secret haven when things get rough. Remember the time when Glee Clubbers put you down? The day where Rachel oh-so-perfect Berry told you that the you'll end up working in a pole. But what she didn't know is that you're a Straight A student. They didn't need to know that though… so, remember that day? Yes, that day before Valentine's day. That was the day you cried your heart out, and she was with you, rocking you as if you are a baby. She cared and it made you love her even more that you got totally scared of what you feel.
She's with Artie now. At first, you didn't care too much because you somehow suspect that she's doing that to make you jealous and you don't do jealous.. well, that's what you think. But as time pass, you eventually miss little Brittany Pierce, you miss everything that you do, especially those sweet lady kisses. You could feel that somehow, the girl that you love is slowly drifting away. You should be happy that your weakness is sorta moving away from you, but you can't. as much as you know that she's your weakness, you also accept the fact that you need her. That, this person whom you call your weakness is also the strength that you have to keep moving you forward.
So, you sang the song for her. The Landslide thing. As much as you accept you know for the fact that, you cannot say to her directly that you love her because you do not want to change anything. For you, you love her and that's enough. She don't need to know that she's making you insane, that loving her makes you crazy. You don't want to ruin your friendship because that's the only thing you have. You do not want to change anything because you think that if she do not know a thing, you could live in peace, but you know you didn't. Every night you stay awake thinking. Thinking about those feelings that makes you sappy and all. And the time you've been dreading to come happened. She wanted to talk about feelings. You try to change the topic, you evade every single details concerning what you feel, but in the end she ask Ms. Holliday to give you guidance and words of wisdom whatsoever. You didn't talk. So, that fuckin substitute gave you an idea. To sing the a song. So you did, you sing for her. She did ask you if that's what you really feel and you said yes.
Time pass after the Landslide incident. And the song got you thinking. So… you talk to her. You said that you were a bitch because you can't contain what you really feel inside. That, you can't bring yourself to tell what you feel because you are afraid. You are afraid of the things that might happen to you if you go out of that closet. That you don't want to be another Kurt. You were brave when you have said that you love her and you want to be with her. You were. You showed her vulnerability. You even cried. But what did she did? She broke your heart into tiny pieces. She said she can't because she's with Artie and she can't hurt him. You then asked yourself.. "it is not ok to hurt mr. Mc Cripples.. but it's ok to hurt me? Crap!". From then, you have regretted what you have said to her. Actually you don't. what you've regretted is the time that you've wasted in not telling her what you feel.
You got yourself to think, you should stop moping around and get a grip. So, you plot for something. You wanted to win her back. so, you made her jealous by using Karofsky. You did things that Mr. Shue had been trying to do. You're a hero for the people who got bullied, but did she noticed that? NO. what she noticed is that you being not true to yourself. Yes, she got jealous but it's not the big thing. What's the real thing is that, you still didn't show who you really are. So, she made a shirt for you it says, "LEBANESE" which actually means "lesbian". She just wants you to be open. She wants you to wear that and eventually dance with her. It's like proclaiming to everyone that "I'm a Lesbian and I'm dancing with her because I love this girl!" yes, you did wear the shirt, but did you show up? NO. and she didn't saw you. So what's the point of wearing that shirt if you're not brave enough to show it..
So, you go for plan B. you sing to her. Again… and it's something that wishes her all the love in the world.. she was touched. But is it enough?
But then again, if it's not enough.. you'll have to plot another plan.. after all..
You are SANTANA LOPEZ and you'll do anything to win BRITTANY PIERCE back. she's your weakness… she's yours.
yay! what you think?