She sat there, still in shock and not saying a word. I sat there hugging her closely, my blonde hair and chest hiding her from the world, from the kitchen, from that woman. From that murderess.
I don't know what I'd do without that rough skin, the many white eyes sprouting from her, the earthy smell. Her rich rough voice like stones hitting the earth, sounding even better from the amount of minerals she had absorbed while still growing. Before she had fully grown she had a squeaky voice, but now she has a voice as lovely and angelic as a rednecks.
"I was just so scared" her masculine voice growled out, still covered in oil and shaking so much she nearly slipped out of my hands. "If you hadn't saved me…" Amanda the potato started violently bobbing up and down, crying. I lifted her up and kissed her on her wrinkly forehead, silent tears pouring from my face and falling on her head, mixing with the potato juice from the cuts and the oil as I put her down.
"Shhh…don't think about it…it's okay. I swear that I, Lucius Malfoy, will never let this happen to you again. Never. We're leaving. I don't care about Draco finding out; he'll have to accept it. I don't care that the Dark Lord and all the Death eaters will laugh and say it's just a potato. You're not just a potato. You mean so much more to me…you're my lover, my friend and if you'll let me…will you become my wife?"
"Wh-wha-Yes of course!" Amanda jumped from my hands and leapt into the air to give me a kiss. Unfortunately she had a bad aim and hit me in the nose instead, causing a nosebleed. Blood sprayed on both of us but I didn't care. I kissed the grainy place where her mouth was supposed to be, and, still kissing my dear potato to-be-wife, stood up and spun us both around, blood pouring from my nose as if it was a fountain of my inner joy, showering us both in happiness…
"What the fuck are you doing Lucius?" she exclaimed in disbelief. That woman then stared at me, as if expecting me to talk to her. Humph. All these weeks she was trying to get rid of Amanda. She was killing all her sisters and brothers, all in various different ways: frying, boiling, mashing, baking… I never knew that she could be so horrible. When I had first met her, she was the sweetest being I had ever met. Or so I though. The little red smile didn't show her bloodlust, but instead faked a cheerful nature. Her eyes, never showed the coldness inside, but hid it well behind her long eyelashes. And then she lied to my face, saying she cared about me. That it's not normal to talk to a potato, acting as if Amanda was just a thing. Bitch.
You know what, since I'm marrying Amanda, I have to dump Narcissa anyway. Might as well do it now.
"Hoe, I don't love you no more"