Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

You'd think that after living with a woman for seventy years you'd be able to withstand everything she decides to put you through, but DEAR MOTHER OF CHRIST veto on sex??? How cruel can these females be??

You'd also wrongly assume that you can manage until she softens again, until she decides that, okay, you've had your punishment, time to break some bedroom furniture, but with such naïve thoughts you'll just prove that you know nothing of these ruthless creatures' nature.

And believe me, Rosalie is like the chieftain of the most ruthless of them all.

Do you pity me yet? It gets worse.

Since I'm a vampire, I don't need any sleep. Since I don't need any sleep that means I am about 8 hours a day more available for torture than a normal man would be in my very misfortunate situation. It might not seem as much, but you'd change your mind very quickly if you had to watch her legs in a mini-skirt walk around chasing Bella's baby around and making other males miserable (Jacob). It's like swaying a glass of scotch in front of an alcohol addict's face. It's… I have no words for this atrocity.

And it's already been more than a month since… yeah… the last time… She's still mad, she still wouldn't have a decent conversation with me, let alone do other very needed activities with me. I'm not sure I can take it much longer, be able to hold back… and I think she knows that, because recently she's like GLUED to Alice or Bella. Or the kid – which is worse. Does it mean she really doesn't want me anymore? Just because I did this teensy-weensy mistake which anybody could've done?

Anyone except Edward, of course.

Or Carlisle.

…Or Jasper.

Argh! BUT ANYONE ASIDE FROM THEM COULD'VE!

Right. So you wanna know what happened? I'll tell you.

So a little more than a month back I was away hunting with Edward. I was gone all day and I suppose my girl was out shopping with that little fashion disaster Alice or something like that in the meanwhile. When I got back home it was already evening, Edward had gone back to his cottage with Bella and Renesme and I have no idea where the others had gone so I suspect Rose was behind our unusually private night as well, though back then I didn't really notice...

Anyway, so I enter the house and first thing's first I became conscious of the fact the baseball game had just begun and, presumably, I was in front of the TV in a second. I didn't pay any attention to the fact Rosalie was upstairs in our bedroom, waiting for me, and I guess that would be my Mistake №1. But you know the match was really important and it had just started and… Fine, whatever, yes, it was a very egoistic thing to do.

In the meanwhile Rose must've heard the TV being turn on and me not really coming, so she must've got off bed, put on her dressing gown to cover the new laced underwear she had bought not really intending for it to last so long and started walking downstairs slowly, humanly slowly, giving me the chance to remember her and grace her with my presence before it was too late. Which I obviously didn't, because my team scored.

When she entered the room, I didn't really bother to look up.

Mistake №2.

She stood there for a couple of seconds, still waiting, still hoping and all for nothing, because, I'm telling you, my team was really kicking the other team's butts that night.

"Emmett?" she called.

"Hey, baby."

"…What are you doing?"

I really should've noticed that tinge in her voice… Really.

Turns out it was our anniversary and Rose – she's seriously into that stuff, always saying that it's the only day when we can celebrate us, the only day just for the two of us and no one else and she'd even reminded me two days before that which makes me even worse of a guy for letting her down. And it's not like I'm doing it for the first time, you know, so I guess she has a reason for being mad at me.

But I did apologize. And I did try to talk with her, to make it up to her, but she's a stone, she wouldn't move. I think I even made it worse by a couple of apologizes which included my pathetic excuses about the baseball match. I figured I shouldn't have mentioned that way too late.

So that's how I got here.

"Alice, I beg you, find a way, give me some privacy with her, I have to put an end to this!" I pleaded, grasping her tiny shoulders gently "If you do me this favor, I'll never be able to thank you enough."

Tiny Alice has a giant heart. I've always known it. She did help me out – she found a way, somehow, chased the whole family out of the house, leaving me and Rose alone, much like the night of our anniversary. And much the similar way I can hear her coming downstairs, she'll be hear in a second or two. What do I tell her?

I should tell her how I thank God every single day for letting me be with her, how I wonder how I ended up being so lucky as to have her, knowing well enough that I don't deserve a Goddess like her. I should tell her that the most beautiful words in all the languages in the world can never be enough to describe her the way I see her, or express how I feel about her. I should tell her that a moron like me probably doesn't deserve to be forgiven, but I dare hope that she would because every second of immortality turns into a curse if she's not there.

I mean it all. I need Rose (not for sexual services... mostly) and I love her more than anything. I'd better get some brains in my thick undead head about doing everything in my power to keep her and not tak her for granted. Ever.

I'll most certainly screw the speech up before reaching the middle. Hopefully, she'll understand. And if I'm lucky enough for her to forgive me… I might get something tonight.

A/N: I'm thinking... a two-shot... how does it sound to you? Would you like a lemon in the next chapter? Or just an ordinary chapter? Please tell me.