What Peter Wants Chapter 1, a Spider-Man + Deadpool Crossover fanfic

A parody on the movie "What A Girl Wants" with Wade being able to hear Spiderman's thoughts. Thought it would be cute so I went with it. Has this been done before?

LET'S GO

I don't own Marvel, so I don't own these characters.

Wade Wilson AKA Deadpool was not a superhero. Contrary to what most would think, Deadpool was a mercenary. A person hired to off another one for a sum of cash, not someone you'd see rescuing damsels in distress or helping little old ladies cross the street. But, recently Deadpool had been cutting back on the killings, which was putting a rather large dent in his bank account mind you, for a certain web-slinging arachnid wasn't too keen on him killing people in his city.

((I BETCHA SPIDEY WOULD LIKE IT IF WE BROUGHT HIM DINNER.))

{{ Mm, or maybe he'll find it creepy, like everything else we do around him.}}

The merc threw his hands hands up and whined. "Yah go out in your birthday suit ONE TIME and all of a sudden you're a public menace! What a world we live in." Wade huffed, leaning against one of New York's legendary mug alleys, waiting to see if he can get Spidey's attention. "You think Spidey would mind if i ruffed up one of the bad guys for him?" He said, eyeing a man as he walked by.

((Only if you don't mind that I totally just jizzed in my pants at the idea of seeing spidey.))

{{You don't wear pants. You're a figment of his imagination. Also, you're disgusting. }}

((Ooh! My imagination is his imagination, I hope. It's awesome in our brain. Quick, let's imagine Spiderman as a stripper!))

((Not if he's being PAAAIIIDDD~ With the right amount of money, ANYONE will be willing to get it on with us!))

Deadpool slapped some hands over his masked ears and groaned. "Guys, come on. I'm trying to focus here, stop making me think of Spiderman in a thong. "

"-Who in a thong?" A voice suddenly said above him, making the merc yelp in a totally manly way.

He looked up seeing none other than the wallcrawler himself perched on the building's edge. "Whoa, baby! Give a guy a little warning next time, yeah?" Wade rubbed his forearm and tilted his head. "Whatcha doing in this neck of the woods, anyway?"

The hero's lenses narrowed and he flipped off the side landing beside the merc.

Deadpool held up a finger. "Okay, one HOT. Two, what's with the face, baby boy?"

With a sigh, Spiderman placed his hands on his hips, motioning to Wade. "You'd know, right? Afterall you only wait here all night hoping I'd swing by."

"-And it worked, you're here. " Wade fist-pumped the air near a clearly agitated Spidey. "Score one for Deadpool."

Peter crossed his arms, annoyed. "And how many points did you say I had last time we talked about this?"

Wade hummed, grinning under his mask. "One for being such a good boy, one for being one of the only people who can tolerate me, and 10,000 big macs for that sweet ass of yours." He made grabby hand motions towards Peter, who growled and kicked him in the shin.

Deadpool yelped, holding onto it,leaning over and hopping on his free foot. "Ooh and another 10 for that killer Black Widow kick, baby!"

The superhero scoffed, rolling his eyes under his mask.."She didn't invent that, you know? PLENTY of kickass females have done it before, ever hear of Tomb Raider? Anyway, I'm going now, just came by to make sure you weren't..you know, killing someone in this back alley." He awkwardly shuffled his feet, which made Deadpool nearly swoon. Spidey was definitely a young man from the way he talked and acted, an awkward, sexy, ADORABLE, young man that the merc wanted to squeeze.

"-Now that I know you weren't, uh good job and everything. I gotta go."

Sensing Spiderman's departure, Deadpool held out a hand towards him to get his attention once more. "Wait! Uhm.." He froze when the hero turned to look at him. "Are you hungry? We could go get some food! I know this great mexican place that has the BEST tacos you will ever eat. Scouts honor."

He saw the younger man freeze, seeming to think on the offer. "Hmm.. no can do, I need to head out on patrol now. I just started a little while ago."

The merc whined a bit, thinking of another excuse to hang with the hero. "Well, maybe we can patrol together and afterwards go get some awesome kickass pancakes?"

A small chuckle was heard. "Deadpool, it's already 3 in the morning."

"it'll be the breakfast of champions! From one super sexy hero to the other! Also, you weren't exactly opposed to tacos at 3am. Come on, what do you say?"

Spidey studied him, silent, making Wade fidget slightly under his gaze. Finally, after what felt like a century the man sighed and shook his head. "Deadpool, I can't right now. Maybe another time." And with that, he swung away leaving the merc still standing with his hand reached out.

"Yeah," The older male said with a dejected sigh, knowing the other couldn't hear him. ".. maybe…"

{{Like I said, who would want to go out with that kind of face?}}

((NOT ME. NOT ME. Maybe Freddy Krueger though! You two could be twinsies! Or we totally ARE Freddy and just don't know it yet. GASP. Plot twist, get some knives quick!))

(( OKAY, SO MAYBE NOT THAT GUY. BUT, WE TOTALLY LOOK LIKE HIM. No wonder Spidey wants nothing to do with us!))

Wade felt the cool press of his gun press up against his temple before a shot echoed through the alleyway and everything faded to blackness.

Peter finished up patrol with little to no trouble that night. After his encounter with Deadpool, the hero had been a bit distracted thinking over what the mercenary had asked him. Did he really want to hang around him? The merc had clearly shown his interest in him in various circumstances over the past two years the had known each other and began talking on rooftops late at night.

The brunette had to admit that Wade was good company occasionally. Especially when he had been out for hours already and was needing a pick me up.

Still, that didn't change the fact that the man was dangerous, a mercenary, and that was a no no in Peter's book. Yet he found himself looking forward to their rooftop conversations when he'd go on patrol. They happened almost every night now and the hero would often wonder in his civilian life what the merc would come up with next.

He felt bad about brushing him off last night, he'd make sure to talk to him about it tonight when they went to their rooftop.

THE rooftop. Not... their, he totally didn't just think their when talking about them. Nope nope.

Peter rolled his eyes, currently in the middle of one of his classes. He couldn't believe he was spacing out in class when he was finally able to show up to it and NOT exhausted. Damn Wade. Even when the mercenary wasn't with him he was STILL distracting.

He placed his head on his hands, staring out one of the windows to his left. Would it really make much of a difference if he started hanging out with Wade more? They already have had many hang out sessions on rooftops, complete with food which was definitely Peter's favorite part after a long night fighting crime.

Perhaps he was overthinking it. Sure, the man was a mercenary, but he had been making progress on, well significantly less killing than before. Wade might not have thought he had noticed, but he had and really appreciated the effort the merc was putting in.

Maybe hanging out more could be a good idea. It could encourage the man to cease killing all together, an unlikely scenario, but one Peter would be happy with.

With a small sigh, he peeked back up at the teacher lecturing at the front of the classroom. He tried paying attention to what they were saying, arguing with himself that this was the first class he had been able to make it to in close to a week, who knows when he'd get the chance again.

Wade awoke with a splitting headache and a gun still in his hand. "Agh, damnit. What the fuck happened last night?" He blearily looked up at the darkening sky and realized he had to have been at least five by now. "I slept the whole day? Fucking for real?" He grumbled, sliding himself up into a sitting position.

((Well, lookie who's awakey!))

{{Not like it would matter much anyway, we knew we'd just get back up unhurt}}

Deadpool fake sniffled, rubbing under his mask covered nose. "No, I still hurt, just not physically."

((I like when he cries! ))

The merc rolled his eyes under his mask. With a groan he got up onto his feet, muttering about how he was getting old. "Whelp. I believe a shower is in order fellas, ready the loufa!" He declared happily, running out of the alleyway, startling a few new yorkers as he went.

A few hours later, the merc had showered, fixed up and scrubbed his suit, and was currently scarfing down a few pizzas while watching his dvd set of Golden Girls.

"Oh Bea Arthur, if only you were America's sweetheart instead of Betty White.." Wade sighed, leaning back against his ratty couch and glanced at the clock. "Oh shit, I need to get ready, Spidey should be ready to go out on patrol soon."

Stretching, he got into the suit part of his Deadpool costume, having already had the mask on and whistled. "Hey there, good-lookin!" He finger gunned his reflection with a mask covered grin.

((Who's good-lookin?))

All bravado leaked out of the mercenary when his boxes returned. "Ah, you guys are back now. Great, and here I thought I might've finally shot you guys out of my brain."

{{Hey, dumbass. We talked to you when you first woke up, remember?}}

Wade was in the process of strapping various weapons to his person. "Nope, don't recall and don't really care. I try to block you assholes out so I can have some sense of normalcy."

((HAH. WHAT NORMAL...ACY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?))

The merc groaned, running a hand over his masked face. "I swear you guys are the worst." He slammed open his apartment door and strolled out. "let's go find a spider in the big apple!"

Deadpool would never mention to anyone that it took him six hours to find the hero swinging through the city and even longer to convince him to stop for a chat.

They currently sat, atop one of the many flat rooftops scattered across the city, a taco in hand, one in each for Wade, and were quietly munching on them. Wade dangled his feet off the side of the building, humming happily at the taste of artificial mexican meat in his mouth, is it racist to say that or stereotypical? Or is it both? Or is Wade totally bored thinking about the ethnicities of his tacos while spidey sat next to him silently looking off out to the city.

'I wonder if I should have brung my chem book with how quiet everything is tonight. My luck as soon as I did there would be twenty bank robberies and three police chases. Or, Wade wouldn't stop asking questions long enough for me to concentrate.'

The merc turned, face half stuffed with food and pointed to the hero. "You can always do your homework around me! I'll be a gentleman, honest!" He held up his hand in a scouts form.

Peter raised a brow under his mask. 'Did I accidentally say that out loud? Shit, I've got to be more careful about that, no more spacing out!'

With quick thinking, the hero responded after swallowing a bite from his taco. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Mmm nope. Can't fool me, Spidey! I heard you say chemistry book, are you a nerd. Tell me all the details!" Wade leaned closer nudging the smaller one with his arm.

Spiderman glared at the mercenary. "Didn't you just say you wouldn't ask questions like that? That you would 'be a gentleman'? Not that I particularly believe you would be."

The older man's eyes were practically hearts from what the other had said. "You know from the way you talk sometimes, you sound like you'd be WAAYYYYYYY smart. I betcha you get all the girls, huh Spidey?"

Said spider sighed, turning his gaze away. "I knew it. " He took another bite of his taco and chewed.

'I can't believe I even thought for a second he could be a gentleman. '

After a few seconds of silence, Peter felt a stare burn into him from his peripheral and promptly turned, mouth full and madea show of tilting his head. A clear sign that spidey was just about done with the man's creep factor today.

'What the hell is he still staring at me for?'

Wade blinked. That...was twice now that Wade had watched the man talk without moving his lips. The first time he thought it might've been a fluke, like he just wasn't paying attention or something. But, no. The second time he had for sure watched the hero take a bite of food and talk about him like he wasn't there without. moving. his. lips.

To say he was freaking out would be an understatement.