Chapter 1: No Fear and Loathing
Disclaimer: Victorious and its characters are the property of Schneider's Bakery and Nickelodeon. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. No profit is intended or wanted for this story. Holiday Road was written and is owned by Lindsay Buckingham.
Note: Inspired by the classic National Lampoon's Vacation and Liz Gillies membership in the cast of the newest sequel premiering tomorrow, 29 July, 2015.
Holiday Road
I found out long ago
(Oh oh oh oh oh oh)
It's a long way down
The holiday road
(Oh oh oh oh oh oh)
Holiday ro-OO-oo-OO-oo-oo-OO-oo-oo-ad
Holiday ro-OO-oo-OO-oo-oo-ad
Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
(Oh oh oh oh oh oh)
Take a ride on the
West Coast kick
(Oh oh oh oh oh oh)
Holiday ro-OO-oo-OO-oo-oo-OO-oo-oo-ad
Holiday ro-OO-oo-OO-oo-oo-ad
Holiday ro-OO-oo-OO-oo-oo-OO-oo-oo-ad
Holiday ro-OO-oo-OO-oo-oo-ad
"Alright. Fine. You can drive, Vega." Jade West reluctantly agreed. "But, you get so much as a scratch on my Goat and I'm taking it out of your hide!"
Tori Vega smiled brightly, "Thanks, Jade. Your car is in good hands..."
"Oh god," Jade moaned, her face covered by her hand.
After carefully adjusting the mirrors to her satisfaction, Tori gleefully started the classic, black 1968 Pontiac GTO. Slowly, she started to back the car out of their driveway. Once she was in the street, Tori slowly maneuvered onto the street and into the light, early morning traffic.
In another few minutes, she had the car on the Hollywood Freeway heading towards downtown LA and the major interchanges. Passing the interchange for the Pasadena Freeway, she kept heading southwest until she came to the San Bernardino Freeway - the I-10 - and headed east towards the High Desert.
Even this early, traffic was heavy, but soon they were past the worst of it as they passed the downtown area with most of the traffic inbound filling the opposite lanes. Tori continued on in an easterly direction towards the Covina Pass and away from the familiar confines of the LA Basin.
Jade pretended to be asleep in the passenger seat but, with slitted eyes, watched Tori as she steered the Goth's pride and joy all the way from the Hollywood Hills to Ontario.
Tori turned north onto I-15 without incident and left the last of the congestion as Rancho Cucamonga slid past them. Grudgingly acknowledging Tori's ability to drive her baby, Jade gave in to her desire for sleep - they'd been up since 4 AM to be on the road at 6.
Tori glanced at her girlfriend, proud she handled the car so well that Jade didn't even try to stomp on an imaginary brake on her side. (Tori hated that in Driver's Ed - the teacher actually slamming on the passenger-side brakes when she wasn't stopping soon enough. Although, to be honest, she did wish the driver's test woman had one when she hit that old woman in her runaway wheelchair when she first tried for her license.)
Loving the feel of the wind in her hair from the open windows of the hardtop, Tori accelerated slowly until she was past 70 miles per hour. Coming up to Victorville, she slowed slightly so she was closer to the posted speed limit.
Glancing in the rearview mirror, she saw a red car coming up fast. As it closed on them, the car moved into the left lane as if to pass them before slowing to pace them.
Tori saw it was an absolutely beautiful Ferrari 308 GTS like the one in her favorite old detective show, Magnum PI. But the driver didn't look anything at all like Tom Selleck.
The young woman had long, flowing blonde hair and what looked like a stunning figure, as far as Tori could see in the small cockpit of the car. The woman turned towards her and Tori saw one of the most beautiful faces she'd ever seen as the driver smiled brightly, waved and winked at the music star. Tori looked over a couple of times then waved back with a small smile.
There was something familiar about that woman…
She blew Tori a kiss before the Ferrari accelerated and disappeared ahead of them. Jade spoke, "Who was she, Tori?"
Startled, Tori struggled to keep the car from swerving into the other lane. "JEEZ-us Jade! I... I thought you were asleep."
"Yeah, well, a Ferrari engine gets me wet. And wakes me up. So, I ask again, who was she?"
Jade's tone was that special one Tori knew so well. She wasn't going to give up until she was satisfied.
"I... I don't know." Tori glanced over and saw Jade's eyebrow ring flash in the morning light as her brow arched. "I... She looked like a backup singer-dancer in one of my videos."
"Uh-huh," Jade replied in an unconvincing tone.
Even as Tori said it, she realized it was true. Tori also realized that Jade, while not as pathologically jealous as she had been in high school, was still occasionally harbored childhood insecurities that fueled her still active sense of possessiveness.
"I mean it, Jade. I think she was in the Tell Me that You Love Me remix vid." Jade stared at her lover, waiting for more. "You know, a backup singer."
"And why did she blow you a kiss?"
"I have no idea." Tori glanced at Jade and slowly enunciated, "I. Don't. Know."
"Okay… Sorry. I just…" Jade dropped her eyes. "I trust you, Tori. I really do. It's just that I… It's just… I love you."
Tori smiled warmly and looked over at her soulmate. "I love you too, Jade."
That much was obvious to anyone who saw the two together. The polar opposites had started dating soon after their infamous Divertissimo appearance, ten years ago Ten fabulous, frustrating, amusing, irritating years. And I wouldn't trade anything for them.
All this flashed through Tori's mind even as she knew she was going to have to give up control of the car.
Surprisingly, Jade let her continue on. The filmmaker settled back and closed her eyes. Again she was apparently asleep.
Roughly halfway between Victorville and Barstow, Tori saw the Ferarri on the side of the road. The stunning blonde was casually leaning against the car with a happy smile. She gave Tori a small wave again. God, that woman is hot! Tori thought.
As Tori roared past, feeling guilty about not stopping (basically because she thought Jade would kill her). But, she reasoned, there's a lot of traffic heading to Barstow... Someone will stop to help her.
"Vega!"
This time, Tori did swerve into the right lane.
Once she had the powerful muscle car under control, she yelled, "WHAT?!"
"Pull in at the next gas station, Circle K or 7-Eleven. I have to pee." Jade paused for a moment, "Also, after that swerve, you're not driving anymore."
"Aw maaan..."
Dragging out her time behind the wheel, Tori didn't pull off until the last exit in Barstow. Jade went in to pee as Tori filled the tank. Inside the AM-PM Mini-mart, Tori paid for the gas and bought a soda. Jade came out of the restroom then got herself a large coffee. Tori stashed her soda in the car and made a quick pit-stop herself.
As she declared, Jade took over driving while they continued on into the desert. Tori dozed off in the passenger seat.
Jade loved the dry, desert air and, like Tori, left all the windows open. This also happened to be one of the few times she regretted not getting a rag top. Every time she had considered a convertible though, she remembered that really ganked up trip to Dago to let Cat mourn her favorite actress - who wasn't dead after all. That piece of chiz car Cat's brother lent them was nearly as bad as the truck that Jethro drove in The Beverly Hillbillies.
Jade found the desert soothing in a stark, dry way. This was what Jade had intended to show Tori the day she tried to give the Latina a ride to school. Naturally, she had to mind-fuck with the girl first, the shovel in the backseat and the weirdly effective tune from The Scissoring were only part of it. But she had really planned to stop and spend an hour or so in the wilderness with Tori, maybe even admitting to her growing feelings.
Fortunately, soon enough, they were able to share their feelings. And, while she'd never admit it, except to Vega when they were alone and basking in each other, Jade was so grateful she had someone who wanted to share those feelings with. Feelings and so much more.
Glancing at the dozing goddess next to her, Jade allowed a rare, happy smile to dance across her face. She often wondered how many others could actually say they had found that one person that completes them. Far too few, she knew.
From behind, another – or the same? – classic, red Ferrari roared up from the distance until it was along side the Goat. Jade glanced over and saw the same blonde driver. The blonde wiggled her fingers at Jade, blew her a kiss, smiled and raced ahead.
"What the…? Wait. Was that the chick…?" Jade asked. Tori mumbled and moved a bit in the passenger seat and Jade realized she had spoken aloud.
She's blonde now! Jade decided, and immediately dissed herself as Captain Obvious before glancing over at 'Catherine Obvious'.
Then she had to wonder, Is this the same chick Tori saw? It has to be… After all, how many classic Ferraris driven by hot blondes are cruising the High Desert?
A couple of hours later, they were driving onto the southern end of the classic Las Vegas Strip. Tori was awake by this point and noting all the shows they could see.
"Tony Orlando!" Tori cried out, seeing the marquee of the Luxor.
"I thought he died," Jade replied.
"Jade! The Folies Bergere! Tony Bennett. The Sinatra Experience. Donny and Marie."
"Ooo, the poster elderlies of The Book of Mormon!"
"Look, Britney Spears! And Jamie Lynn is opening for her sister!"
"No skank sisters shows!"
"Jade! Blue Man Group! We have to see that!"
"What? Are you collecting cities where you saw Blue Man? It'd be easier, and only take a little more space, to collect shot glasses from all the Hard Rock Cafes. And, since you'll be performing there…" Tori glared at Jade who promptly shut up with a huff.
Suddenly, Jade yelled, "JOAN JETT!" Then her voice dropped for a second before yelling "SOUIXSIE AND THE BANSHEES ARE OPENING!"
"JADE! This is an enclosed car!" Tori replied with a yell that immediately dropped to a more inside voice.
Jade yelled again, "SHIT!"
"What?!"
"We missed the turn at Harmon. Grab your PearPhone. Find the best way back to the Hard Rock."
Tori grabbed her phone from the glove compartment and started to search.
"Only you would get a Vegas gig at a joint that's not on the Strip… Use the search option. Look up the…"
"I know how to do it!"
"The Hard Rock in Las Vegas," Jade continued, disregarding Tori's comment.
"I KNOW!"
"Vega, do you have to yell?!"
Tori merely sighed, a sound that strongly resembled a growl.
Jade pulled off the busy street into a casino driveway.
Tori looked up and saw they were parked. "Where are we?"
"The Hilton entrance. Find out where we have to go! Fast. Those goons are looking at us!"
"So?"
"Vega, everyone knows Vegas is mobbed up. Those two Sumo wrestlers - in tuxedos that had to come from Omar the Tent-maker, I might add - have gotta be muscle and are sure to be packing heat."
"That's what I get for letting you stay up, get high and watch Bugsy the other night. And it's the Hilton, for God's sake. Not Siegel's Flamingo or the Riviera or any of the other old time joints. Like the Stardust…"
"WHATEVER! Get me a way the hell out of here!"
"Alright! Jeez… Okay drive north to Sahara, turn right. Turn right again on Paradise. Head south for a couple of miles, we'll be at the Hard Rock. Corner of Paradise and Harmon. See? Easy-peasy…"
Jade ignored her woman's PearPhone, "I hate that term!"
Tori's hand settled lightly on Jade's thigh below her shorts, barely caressing the soft flesh as she said, "Except when I'm easy-peasy…"
Jade laughed, "Slut!"
"Only for you!" Tori laughed. Usually, she added silently.
"You're damned right!"
A minute or two passed and Jade said, "Okay, this is Paradise."
Tori nodded. "There's Desert Inn Road. Up there is Sahara then Flamingo. Harmon's the next cross-street."
"I don't need a countdown. Just get me to the hotel. I have to pee!"
"Alright, Cat," Tori replied with a laugh, earning her a quick glare.
Jade rushed in as soon as she pulled up to the front of the casino, yelling, "Where's the bathroom?"
Tori had tears in her eyes from laughing hard as her girlfriend disappeared through the door of the hotel. Pulling the keys from the ignition, Tori got out and walked around to open the trunk. One of the bellhops loaded their bags onto a large, brass luggage cart.
"You can park over there while you check in," he stated with a slight trace of an accent. He tried not to stare at the crazy woman who was laughing like a maniac.
"Thank you," Tori managed between her guffaws. Parking in a short-term space for guest check-in, she locked up and entered the hotel.
By the time she reached the front desk, Tori had settled down enough that she just let out an occasional giggle. "Hee-hee… Sorry, I'm Tori Vega. I'm here…"
"Oh my God! This is so cool! I'm Felicity Harper! I'm a huge fan!" the young desk clerk, a pretty redhead, declared.
Tori shook her hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Felicity."
"I'm so excited about Saturday night! My friends and I are so thrilled to be seeing you in person."
"I'm probably as excited as you are!" Tori replied. "This should be a fun weekend. I love performing and your hotel has given me four shows, including a Sunday matinee."
A slightly older man came up. "Ms. Vega? I'm Steve Wells, the day manager. Welcome to the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. I apologize I wasn't here to greet you. There was a report of some crazy woman running around the casino looking for a bathroom…"
Tori started to laugh again, tears streaming down her cheeks. The two at the desk could only stare.
"I'm sorry. That crazy woman is my girlfriend. Ha-ha-ha! She drank too much coffee crossing the desert…" Tori choked down her laughs. It was hard. Then she said, "Anyway, thank you. I'm so thrilled to be here."
At that point, Jade walked up, acting extremely casual, as if she hadn't darted through the hotel like her ass was on fire a few minutes before. Not that her ass isn't hot… Focus Tori!
Tori said, "This is my girlfriend, Jade West. Jade, these are the people who were looking for the crazy woman who had to pee."
Tori started to laugh again as Jade shot lasers from her eyes, incinerating her love in her mind.
"Um. pleasure to meet you, Ms. West. Anyway, we have you in the Stones Suite. A beautiful, one-bedroom suite in the HRH Tower. Philippe will show you to your room."
"One bedroom?!"Jade growled. "This is…"
"Jade, hush!"
"Believe me, you'll be quite comfortable. It is one of our better suites. Anyway, Ms Vega…"
"Please, call me Tori."
Wells smiled warmly, "Thank you…Tori. But to get on to other matters… You're scheduled to perform in the Joint. It will be available tomorrow afternoon for your rehearsal. Tomorrow night, Third Eye Blind has their final performance here. The stage will be reset before Saturday night's show. If you feel you need an additional rehearsal session, the stage crew can work around your team."
"Thank you so much, Steve."
"Also, here are cards for you and your girlfriend. These have two hundred dollars casino credit. Just a little perk for our VIP performers and their guests."
"Thanks," Jade said, quickly plucking one of the cards.
The suite was magnificent. The entry was as big as a normal hotel room with the living room straight ahead. To the right was a half-bath. Straight ahead, in the living room, a huge TV hung from the ceiling with a large, picture window behind. Tori darted up to the window.
"Look! Jade! The MGM Grand!"
Acting like she didn't care that much, Jade glanced out the window at the Strip with some of the replica towers at New York, New York. Inside she felt warm, remembering their first trip here. The Vegas gave it to them when Tori turned 21. The two had a long, hot four-day weekend gambling, partying, shopping and going to some of the shows. And a lot of time in their bedroom at the Tropicana making love. They didn't get much sleep but more than made up for that when they returned to LA.
Philippe, the Italian bellhop who met Tori at the car, left their bags in the bedroom – to the left of the living room, as they faced the window.
"Enjoy your stay, ladies. I'm obliged to remind you that your car must be moved into the parking garage behind the tower."
"Thank you, Philippe. We'll get it moved in a few minutes," Tori said as she tipped him generously. He smiled happily, said thank you and left.
"You gave him too much money!"
"So? It's not like it'll break us. With your second novel, on top of the two mega-hit movies, and my third album…"
"And the bonuses I got for Eli Roth's movie I consulted on. Yeah, yeah, yeah… Let's go move the car and get some lunch."
By this point, Tori had disappeared into the bedroom, "JADE! YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!"
"More yelling,' she muttered as she followed her woman. "Lift your jaw off the floor, sweetie."
Then Jade felt her jaw hit the floor.
The large bedroom featured a beautiful, white, four-poster bed with white draping the posts. While she preferred darker colors, the stark white was stunning to her.
"JADE! COME TO THE BATHROOM!"
Jade forced herself to resume her normal stoicism. "Inside voice, Vega. And what's so… Holy SHIT!"
The full bathroom, as large as their college studio apartment, had a large, glass-walled shower stall that was large enough for six people. Two sinks, a toilet and a full bathtub - large enough for both of them. The spa-sized tub was lined with Jacuzzi jets.
"We're taking lots of baths," Jade stated. She tossed the keys to Tori, "Go move the car! I'm taking a bath!"
After sharing a long, hot bath (emphasis on 'hot'), they headed downstairs to see what was available. It was after 2 PM, so the lunch crowds had died down. There was a small, retro diner, a recent addition. Inside, each booth had a small, tabletop jukebox so they could play old rock and roll standards. The waitress, wearing a typical 1950's waitress costume and her dark hair in a pert ponytail, came up to them, chomping and snapping her gum loudly while tapping her pencil against her pad. "Ya want somethin'?"
Tori asked, "What do you recommend?"
Jade just stared at her girlfriend as the other girl popped her gum and snarkily said, "Food."
Jade started to laugh and the girl turned to her, "What about you, Vampira?"
Caught in mid-laugh, Jade stared at her while Tori started to laugh. Then Jade blinked and joined in.
"Alrighty then, I'll be back when yer ready…"
That evening, the cutest couple at the Hard Rock took a cab to the Fremont Street Experience in downtown Las Vegas. Getting out in front of the Union Plaza Hotel, they strolled down what had once been a traffic-laden street past the Golden Nugget to Binion's. "C'mon, Vega!"
As Jade pulled her into Binion's, Tori cried out, "What?!"
"There's a million dollars on display, Vega. And I wanna see it!"
Through the busy casino and into the hotel, Jade pulled Tori, only because the singer didn't have a chance to catch up on her own.
Finally they came to the display. An open vault door revealed a wall of one hundred $10,000 bills. Jade stood staring. Tori was equally fascinated by the display but also by her love's stunned look.
"wow…"
"Jade?"
"Tori, I've never seen this before. It's… Oh man…"
"Jade, your last movie pulled in like a hundred and sixty times that amount. On a budget that was only about half this." Tori didn't mention how much her most recent album brought in – this was not a time for that, this was for Jade.
"But that's all on paper…" Jade muttered. "I've never really seen this much real money at one time…"
Tori smiled, "How 'bout we cash out some of our money and make out on a million dollars."
"That would fill our bedroom. Hell, our apartment."
"So we get a hundred bills like that."
"The government doesn't make $10,00 dollar bills anymore."
"Oh,"
Jade smiled and looked at Tori, "Maybe we just get a hundred $1000 dollars bills…"
I found out long ago
(Oh oh oh oh oh oh)
It's a long way down
The holiday road
(Oh oh oh oh oh oh)
Holiday ro-OO-oo-OO-oo-oo-OO-oo-oo-ad
Holiday ro-OO-oo-OO-oo-oo-ad
Holiday ro-OO-oo-OO-oo-oo-OO-oo-oo-ad
Holiday ro-OO-oo-OO-oo-oo-ad
(Oh oh oh oh oh oh)
(Oh oh oh oh oh oh)
(Oh oh oh oh oh oh)
Arf-arf-arf
Arf-arf-arf
Arf-arf-arf
Arf-arf-arf
Note: Love the dog barking at the end of the song so I had to include that. The next part will warrant the M rating.