Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Also, this is the English translation of a story I wrote for my German class, so it's more awkward crack-fic than anything else.
Harry Potter wants to be clean. He walks to the bathroom. He walks to the toilette but does not stand in it because Moaning Myrtle is already there. He sits in the sink and turns the "water" on. He is not clean because butterbeer comes out of the sink. He is dirty.
He goes to the shower, stands in it, and turns the shower on. Chocolate cream cheese comes out of the shower. Harry is not clean and he wants to be clean.
He goes to the bathtub and sits in it. Water comes out of it and Harry is clean. However, the bathtub is in the closet under the stairs in the Dursley house. Poor Harry!