The light is too bright, it begins to hurt his eyes. He shuts them and behind his closed lids, the light appears to subside. He opens them again and takes in his surroundings. A lump forms in his throat as he realizes he's in a nursery room. The walls are painted a light blue. There is a bookshelf filled with tiny books for tiny hands, a crib in a rich and beautiful dark wood color and he hears…singing? Suddenly, he's aware of a view of the ocean just outside the nursery. The water is as clear as the sky and he sees steps on the balcony outside that lead to it. The singing grows a bit louder. He follows the voice as it leads him outside, down the steps and onto the beach, its sands white and untouched. He sees no one.
He feels the sun on his face, warm and inviting and closes his eyes, still hearing the lyrics of a lullaby, louder now. "Goodnight, sleep tight, go to sleep little baby."
That voice. He'd know it anywhere. "Why? Because I disagree with you?" The memory and her face come to him and he opens his eyes.
Suddenly, she's there, her back to him and facing the ocean. Her blonde hair blows in the light breeze and his eyes fill with tears. He closes them and opens them again. She's still there.
"Lucy?" he whispers.
She turns to him and, in her arms, she is holding his son. Joshua Makalo Carter. The tears flow freely now and he reaches for him. Lucy places Joshua in his arms and smiles and he continues to sob, holding his son and hugging him and smelling him and having so many questions but doesn't care to ask them at this moment. Not this moment. For he is holding his son and he just stares at his precious child and just cries.
He wipes his tears and looks at Lucy. He had never forgotten her eyes, crystal blue like the ocean in front of them now. She is looking at him and he says her name again. She raises her hand and flicks a strand of hair away from his face and it's then that he realizes he has his longer hair again. He feels the ends of it on his neck as she then touches the side of his face. He feels younger.
"W-where am I?" he asks her.
She tilts her head, gives him a sad sort of look. "You've died, Carter."
His breath escapes him and suddenly he remembers. Taking that left turn to get on the highway, seeing bright white lights coming toward him, another vehicle. "Car accident?" he asks her.
She nods. "You died on impact." He looks at her, a lump forming in his throat as he processes what she has told him. She was always beautiful. He takes a deep and long breath. "I'm sorry." he blurts out. There it was. Those words would have been the first thing he would have told her had she lived and he held onto them, unspoken, for every day he did.
"It wasn't your fault." she says softly. He shakes his head. "It was. I should have listened to you that day and I didn't and my lack of action helped your death and I have held onto that every single day of my life and I'm so sorry Lucy." He cries. He looks at his son and sways him, cherishing him. He looks back into her blue eyes. "I loved you, you know. I did. I didn't know it at the time or maybe I did and refused to see it but after losing you…..I knew. I'm sorry. I never found anyone quite like you."
She takes his hand. "Shh. I've been with you every single step of the way. It's bittersweet knowing that you're here and knowing what it means. But I've been with you, Carter and I love you just as much now as I did all those years ago. Joshua and I, we've been waiting for you."
She leans into him and he kisses the top of her forehead and then his sons. Together, they watch the sun set and he doesn't think he's ever been happier.