Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JKR!
A wintry chill greeted Remus as he pushed open the door to the back garden with his shoulder, his hands occupied with wrapping his cloak tighter around his lanky frame. He ambled outside to join Sirius, who was leaning casually over a low wall. He, Sirius, and Peter had vacated the Potters' sitting room after a subtle hint from James indicated he'd like some time alone with his new wife. James and Lily's wedding had been nearly three months beforehand (as it was Christmas now), but, despite the war and everything else, they were still deep in the throes of their love, much to the amusement of the other Marauders.
The sound of his shoes crunching the frozen grass alerted Sirius to his presence. He did not turn around, however, but continued to hunch over the small wall.
"Where's Wormtail?" He asked, though he didn't sound as if he really cared to hear the answer. Just asking to say something and hopefully distract his friend from seeing that something was weighing heavy on his mind. Which, after seven odd years of friendship, didn't work very well. But, Remus was non-intrusive by nature and would leave Sirius to his thoughts as long as he wanted to keep them to himself.
"Scavenging for some butterbeer," Moony replied, "he says if we're going to be standing out in the cold, we might as well be liquored up."
Sirius laughed a little at the relayed comment as he reached into his jacket pocket. His frozen fingers fumbled a little with the pack of Muggle cigarettes he kept there, but he eventually wrestled one out before offering the pack to Remus.
He took one eagerly. Lily wouldn't let them smoke in the house, or near the house, or anywhere near her actually as she was liable to pull the cigarette from one's mouth, toss the pack into the bin, or at least lecture the two of them on the slow, painful deaths smoking would cause them. While he appreciated Lily's efforts to save them, as a werewolf, Remus could pretty much count on a slow, painful death anyway, and, therefore, the argument didn't really work on him. Sirius, he supposed, just liked to be contrary. After all, he barely looked like a wizard, standing out there in his Muggle jeans and jacket, lighting his Muggle cigarette with a Muggle lighter—all part of his rebellion.
Sirius tossed the lighter to Remus who caught it easily and lit his own cigarette. Sirius let out a drag and as the swirling tendrils of smoke left his mouth, said, "What do you think the chances are of us making it out of this thing in one piece?"
"Mmmm," Remus mumbled, a little surprised by the question. He finished lighting the cigarette, and removing the viceful thing from his mouth, said with a hint of joking, "slim to none."
Sirius snorted. Remus, deep in thought, turned so that his back leaned against the wall and he was looking at the back of the Potters' house. "I think," he began slowly, struggling with the right words to articulate this awful war they were fighting, "I think there is chance we might survive this."
Sirius gave him a disbelieving look. They'd only been out of Hogwarts less than a year, and already they had seen numerous, unfathomable atrocities and deaths.
"A small chance," Remus clarified, before continuing, "but as for making it out of this war as a…whole person, I don't think its possible."
Sirius was quiet as he pondered Moony's words. "I don't think I've ever been whole," he finally added quietly.
Remus was glad he was facing the other direction, and Sirius couldn't see the surprise that swept over his face. It was unusual for Padfoot to ever ponder seriously on human nature or whatever you wanted to call it, at least out loud. Remus quietly studied his friend from the corner of his eye. "Me neither," he said, causing Sirius to turn towards him, "but don't you think that they are?" He nodded towards the back window of the house, where the shadowy figures of two people could be seen embracing near the Christmas tree.
Sirius laughed as he turned to look at the scene, a smile breaking over his face and amplifying his handsome features. "What is that they are doing anyway?" He asked, peering intently at the window.
"I don't know…" Remus responded, craning his neck to get a better look.
"Are they…are they dancing?" Sirius asked, laughing again.
"They are!" Called the voice of Peter as he trudged across the lawn, carrying a case of butterbeer with him.
Sirius and Remus cheered his approach.
"You're my Christmas angel, Pete!" Sirius cried gleefully, slapping Wormtail on the shoulder and grabbing a bottle.
The sound of the tops being taken off the bottles echoed through the winter air, as the three friends stood around drinking and joking, the war fading further into the recesses of their minds with every sip.
It was Christmas, after all. And they, for all intents and purposes, were family.
~Line Break~
"Who's there?"
"It's me, Peter Pettigrew, also known as Wormtail, an Animagus who becomes a rat when I transform."
It was a rare night-in for the Marauders, Lily, and the recent addition, Harry. Lily had insisted upon this small get together for the sake of a stir-crazy James. As soon as she answered the door, however, it became apparent that hiding didn't suit her better than it did her husband; she just seemed a little too enthusiastic in her greeting for Peter's comfort.
"Peter," she cried, ushering him into the house and hugging him before turning to secure the door.
Sirius, Remus, and James were already in the sitting room, shuffling several decks of Exploding Snap from where they sat on the floor around the coffee table, laughing raucously with a bottle of firewhiskey already half gone.
"Isn't it nice to all be together again?" Lily said from beside Peter. Having forgotten her presence, Peter jumped a little and turned to look at her. Lily was observing the scene before her with a fondness she had never shown in school when gazing upon similar scenes. Peter chuckled.
"What?" Lily inquired.
"Nothing, just that there was a time when you wouldn't have encouraged such behavior."
Lily laughed out loud, a bright tinkling sound that reverberated around the entire room and called the others' attention to the pair by the door. James' wide grin grew bigger, apparently happy to see his wife happy.
"Oi, Wormtail," Sirius called, "come over here and have a drink."
Peter saw a chance to put his plan into action.
"You know, Lily—why don't you have a drink? I'll stay sober and make sure nothing gets out of hand."
"No, I couldn't…really."
"Lily," Peter said, hoping he sounded gracious as he tried to imitate Remus' mild-manners, "James isn't the only one who needs some fun."
She seemed to contemplate this for a moment before a smile formed on her face, highlighting her beautiful features. She walked over to the trio and settled in next to James, snuggling close to his side.
"All right, Lils!" Sirius whooped excitedly, conjuring her a crystal glass and pouring her some firewhiskey. Lily took it and sipped timidly.
"A toast," Remus declared, lifting his glass, "to being alive."
"And to being with friends," Peter piped up.
"To being with family," Lily corrected gently, her green eyes full of affection as she looked around at her guests. Peter thought that she really needed to get out more.
James beamed at her. "To being married—"
"To the girl of your dreams," Remus and Sirius finished in unison with a groan. Even Lily playfully hit her husband in the face with a throw pillow.
"I mean, it really is rather pathetic, mate." Sirius said after downing his whiskey.
"Sickening," Remus joined, taking a sip of his own drink before deciding to down it.
Peter watched his friends closely.
Remus and Sirius would always be the ones to drink a little too much. Peter knew that the Black family legacy still haunted Padfoot and that, no matter how calm, cool, and collected Remus seemed, the wolf was always lurking in the back of Moony's mind. He knew that each of them was trying to drown the darkness that lay within them with alcohol, a darkness that James and Lily seemed blessedly without.
James and Lily were bastions of hope, lighthouses to ships on a stormy sea. They were warriors, scrupulous in their tactics as they stood for the light. Their love was legendary; they would lay down their lives for their son or each other without a second's hesitation. They'd do anything for each other, except kill. James and Lily. The darkness may surround them, at times overwhelm them, and, if all went according to Peter's plan, the darkness would eventually crush them. But, darkness would never consume them. They'd continue to shine, bringing hope to those who knew them, until he could deliver them to the Dark Lord.
Remus and Sirius were not so pure. Peter knew this as well as he knew those things about the Potters. Peter was quite certain that when James and Lily were murdered, Moony and Padfoot would hunt down the responsible party and rip them limb from limb, their loyalty mixing with their rage and inner demons like mud, blood, and sweat on a battlefield. That was why it would be so brilliant if he could get them to turn on each other, turn their fierce loyalty into a liability and watch them take themselves down while simple-minded Wormtail rose to power at the side of the Dark Lord. It would be so easy, too; Sirius and Remus's friendship had always been the weakest in a very strong chain. Still, Peter shuddered at the thought of what would happen to him if the other two caught onto his scheme.
Sirius continued his teasing as he refilled everyone's glass. "I know that line worked well at the wedding and all…"
"Oh, just shut it," James cried in mock fury.
"Er, yes," Remus said, downing his drink and forgoing sipping altogether this round, "I propose another toast to, um, espousal?"
To power, Peter thought.
"To procreation?" Sirius added, suggestively raising an eyebrow.
To protection.
"To Harry!" Remus cried enthusiastically easily picking up on the proud godfather's hint. He raised his third glass of whiskey high into the air.
"To Harry!" Everyone joined happily and loudly, finally clinking their glasses together.
To prophecy.
Right on cue, a baby cried from upstairs causing Lily, James and Sirius to jump up immediately. Sirius and James raced for the staircase in the foyer, slipping on the hardwood floor in their socks; Lily followed at a relaxed pace behind them and beat them both to Harry when they got distracted by their mock wrestling match.
Remus laughed at their antics, and stood, stretching, as the others went upstairs to fetch the baby.
Peter decided to start with Remus. Cerebral and talented though he was, his condition made him self-conscious. Some part of Remus, perhaps only a small part, but a part of him nonetheless could not believe that anyone who knew him for what he truly was, a monster, could actually like him. And he did so like to be liked.
Peter watched as his old friend walked languidly over to a bookshelf, and couldn't help but be a tinge jealous of his height. It seemed as though all of his friends had grown since leaving Hogwarts, filling out some with pride and a sense of purpose. Everyone except himself, it seemed, and Peter wallowed in his self-pity. A part of him hated his friends for always being so superior to him—for being taller, too. He resented all three of them for being better looking, cleverer, and more powerful than him. He didn't realize how much he did until he started working for the Dark Lord, and could finally taste the power hanging just out of reach of his tongue.
First, he had simply been afraid. And now he wanted it, wanted to put his old friends in their places.
Peter got up from the sofa and wandered over to where Remus was leafing through a photo album.
"It seems like I haven't seen you in ages, Wormtail," he said as Peter approached, glancing up from the album to look at him. It was the same friendly look that Remus had always given him, but it wasn't the same Wormtail. He'd changed as they had, and he hated Remus for looking at him the same way he always did.
"I know," Pete cried, "it's been far too long, but with the war…and everything."
Remus nodded understandingly, and turned back the photo album.
"I miss the old days," Wormtail said with a sigh, looking at the photos on the mantle. There were several of the Marauders and Lily at Hogwarts, but they were quickly being overrun by pictures of the baby.
"I'd say," Remus said with a laugh from behind him, and held up the photo album so Peter could see. He squinted at it and saw a picture of the four of them wearing their swimsuits by the Black Lake. There was a snowman in the background.
Peter laughed in what he hoped was a hearty manner, and Remus laughed too as they began to reminisce about Sirius' 18th birthday.
"Merlin," Peter sighed, "Remember how much fun we had roaming the grounds together."
"Mmmhhmm," Remus said, sipping more firewhiskey. Somewhere during the course of their reminiscing, he had poured himself another glass.
"James and Sirius were always pulling pranks…"
"We all did, really," Remus replied.
"Yeah, but they were more reckless than us. Sirius especially," Peter continued. Lowering his voice, he added, "Remember fifth year, when he almost killed Snivellus by telling him about the Whomp—"
"—That was sixth year, actually," Remus interrupted his face falling as he shut the album and put it back on the book shelf.
"Right, it was," Wormtail said solemnly. "Scary to think about, though. To think someone so close to you could be capable of such a thing."
"Yeah," Remus replied vaguely. Frown lines appeared in his face, distorting the scars there. Peter thought his old friend might be regarding him suspiciously, until a racket from the other side of the room called away their attention.
"Who wants another drink?" Sirius boomed as he entered the room with James following close behind him as he helped Lily adjust the infant in her arms.
Peter smirked as he saw Remus' eyes narrow in his direction.
Peter held off on going after Sirius until later that night, when his friend would be more receptive. It was difficult for people who did not know him to tell, but Sirius was almost constantly on guard. He gave the appearance of being outgoing and talkative, but Peter soon learned that he could listen to Padfoot speak all day and never learn a thing about him. He didn't lie really, but he charmed others and talked of things that never matter. He made them laugh until they collapsed to their knees. Finally, they would walk away from him (and sometimes his bed) knowing as little about him as they did before. He was gifted.
Even his friends who knew him so well, couldn't always break through his exterior. James always had the most success on that front. Peter often thought that the two of them were so close, that they really could have been brothers. And that would be the easiest angle to play Sirius off of.
Sirius sat still on the sofa as he waded through the haze of the firewhiskey he had drunk that night. He looked towards the other side of the room where Lily was bouncing Harry on her knee as she talked animatedly with Remus, but Peter couldn't tell how aware Sirius was of anything.
"Hey, Padfoot," he greeted as he sat on the sofa. Sirius jumped, indicating to Peter that he had probably been on the verge of falling asleep.
Perfect.
Peter sipped his water glass. "It's nice to all be together again," he said after some time had passed. He made sure to keep his gaze trained on Remus and Lily.
"What?" Sirius said, starting slightly as though he had begun to doze again. His eyes followed Peter's gaze. "You're not turning into a sap on me, are you, Wormtail?"
Peter shook his head. "Just look at how happy Lily and Remus look over there. I haven't seen Moony look that happy in ages." He nodded in their direction. "And besides," he added, a defensive lilt to his voice, "I'm not the one who keeps buying Harry toys and clothes all the time."
"Hey, little man deserves to have some stylish threads, like anyone," Sirius replied, smiling fondly into the amber pool at the bottom of his glass. He gave it a bit of a shake before downing what little remained.
"You know," Peter said as Remus laughed at something Lily had told him, "I've always wondered if Moony fancied Lily just a little bit."
Sirius didn't reply, but instead stared slyly at Wormtail from the corner of his eyes. It was obvious that he thought Peter had gone off his rocker.
"It's just that he's always been closer to Lily than she is to either you or me."
"That's because Moony didn't help Prongs dump a bottle of ink on her hair in the first year, or toss a Dr. Fillibuster's No Heat, Wet Start firework into her cauldron second year."
Peter smirked. "Yeah, that cauldron joke got him pretty good too, didn't it? If I remember, his skin was stained purple for a week."
Sirius laughed, leaning further into the sofa with his eyes closed. "Well, thats what he got for trying to improve his Potion's grade by pairing up with the cleverest witch in the class. But honestly, when you think about how uptight the both of them used to be, its really no wonder that he's closer to Lily than we are."
"But don't you ever wonder?"
Sirius opened his eyes to stare disparagingly at Wormtail.
Peter lowered his voice and leaned in closer. "I'm not saying anything ever happened, but, I mean, it's not like life has been easy on Moony since we left school—"
"—Life," Sirius cut him off, "has been flat out shitty for all of us."
"Well, yes, with the war," Peter replied, making sure he stuttered a little, "but I don't think thats completely true for James, is it?" He nodded in Lily's direction, baby Harry gurgling in her arms.
"James….He got the girl, the nice house, the fortune, the status, and Remus can't even find a job because of his furry little problem."
Sirius looked at Peter critically before he turned his gaze to Remus across the room.
"He must be feeling rather desperate by now," Peter added quietly.
Feeling someone watching him, Moony looked up and shot Sirius a questioning glance. "Nah," Sirius said quietly,"jealousy isn't Moony's style."
"How can you be so sure? He never really talks about himself…"
Luckily, in Peter's estimation, Remus chose that moment to lean closer to Lily in order to speak to her. Whatever he said, caused Lily to laugh spiritedly, and she tossed her head back, her auburn hair catching the light as she did so.
Sirius frowned.
It appeared that things were going smoothly enough.
"Ready to eat?" James asked, as he came back into the sitting room from the kitchen.
"Yes, please!" Peter answered enthusiastically, as he jumped up from the sofa.
~Line Break~
For a parasite, suspicion is incredibly self-sufficient.
A single seed planted in the mind can grow and flower into something extraordinary. It can feed on the host's mind, encouraging them to over analyze every action, brood over every word the person in question has ever spoken. Soon, memories firmly wrapped in the soft folds of nostalgia are cast in a hard light, exposing every shadow and strange line across the face. The host begins to wonder about sudden excuses and their validity. And then the questions begin.
Suspicion is indeed a remarkable parasite.
It grows and grows until it seems to be the only thing. All other people and events take on the labyrinth construction of a mosaic while the suspect shines as clear and bright as a freshly washed window. It is a leech of trust, a deathly pale vine strangling the strongest oak tree. It takes years of friendship and whittles it down to splinters in just a few months. Which is why it is so useful to be able to direct suspicion—it is a power in its own right, mental warfare.
Remarkable, Peter mused as he watched suspicion bloom before his eyes.
James was horrified. His eyes were wide behind his spectacles as they darted between his two closest friends, who stood facing each other in distinctly aggressive postures. His wand hung limp in his hand as his mind raced to catch up with what had suddenly happened.
Peter had a hard time suppressing his smirk as he pretended to be as shocked as James about what was unfolding between Remus and Sirius. It had all been his doing, of course, and James would never be able to figure out what was happening. In a few short weeks, he had played and outwitted all three of them, and he knew it wouldn't be long before his victory was complete.
"What does that mean," Sirius all but growled.
"What do you mean 'what does that mean'?" Remus retorted.
Sirius laughed without mirth. "Well, it's not like you ever say what you're actually thinking, is it?"
"What's that supposed to mean," Remus spat, his voice carrying the slightest tinge of hurt.
Harry's wails floated down the stairs and into the tense atmosphere of the room. From where he stood against the wall, Peter heard the faint murmurs of Lily comforting her son as she tried to put him to bed. His eyes flickered from Remus and Sirius, who stood in the middle of the room like combatants in a ring, and then back to James, his expression still screwed into shock and outright confusion.
Seeing that he was safe from James' notice, Peter allowed himself a congratulatory sip of his drink. The Dark Lord had been correct; all he really had to do was plant the seed and watch as it grew. All he had to do was listen while the two friends separately vented their doubts to him, and persuade them not to mention it to James too soon, when there was a danger that their feelings weren't fervent enough and the golden couple might be able to talk reason into their pals. Tonight, James and Lily had invited them all over again for another get together, and from the moment Remus and Sirius had entered the room, Peter knew something was going to happen.
It was an easy job with a huge potential for reward, and it suited Peter perfectly.
He had already forgotten what this argument had started about. No doubt it was something stupid, but, whatever reason, the beginning wasn't important. No, this was about where this argument was heading.
Sirius sneered at his old friend as though he were something withered and rotten, and in that moment, he resembled the family he had left more than ever. That would infuriate Remus, Peter knew. Bring all that doubt right up the surface until it boiled over into an uncontrollable rage.
"I can't believe I ever trusted you," Sirius said, a superior lilt to his voice.
"You can't believe you ever trusted me? Me?" Remus spat. It was his turn to laugh mirthlessly.
Sirius stared coldly back at him. "Have you gone deaf as well as crazy, mate…I said, you."
"Maybe we should all just calm down." James' voice was feeble against the angry air of the room.
Remus smiled, and his eyes brightened with a vicious light. His gaze flickered to James for a moment, and the intensity abated a little. Peter could tell Remus was fighting back what he wanted to say, but that he was quickly losing control. Excellent.
Sirius kept his eyes trained on Remus, and saw just as easily as Peter had that Remus was backing down. But Sirius was angry too; the muscles in his shoulder and neck were taut, and he resembled more than ever a dog with its hackles raised. He couldn't resist smirking at Remus, knowing that he had gained a modicum of ground against him.
Remus saw the expression and strode forward suddenly. James moved as if to stop him, fearing as Peter hoped, that he was going to hit Sirius. But he withdrew his hand when Remus stopped a few inches in front of Padfoot, his hand held out in front of him in a menacing, but futile, gesture.
"You have no right to speak of trust," he seethed so quietly that Peter had to lean in to hear, "when it was you who betrayed my secret to Snape." Shaking with suppressed fury, Remus made to move past Sirius when he was arrested by his retort.
"So what? He deserved it. He still does."
"You could have made me a murderer," Remus breathed.
Sirius raised a mocking eyebrow. "I don't see what difference that would make now."
Remus blanched.
Sirius' voice had carried the hint of suggestion on it, as though Remus was actually a murderer. It was true that on a mission for the Order, Remus had sent off an over zealous jinx that resulted in his opponent's neck snapping, but no one would dare call that murder. Yet, Remus hated to be reminded of it, and his emotions showed on his face. Peter was certain, however, that Sirius had meant to imply something else with that statement and was pleased with the results.
Moony carefully studied his friend's face, his eyes squinted like they always did when he was struggling to read something behind whatever their visible expression was. The vicious light was back again, and he said in a falsely casual tone, "I guess the apple never does fall far from the tree."
Sirius gaped at him as if he had been slapped. Peter saw anger coursing up through him like a geyser that was ready to burst. "Go fuck yourself," he said, punctuating each and every word with malice.
"Same to you, Black, or maybe one of your cousins…your family is known for that, aren't they?"
That was it, the snapping point for both of them. Remus drew his wand with incredible speed, but Sirius' fist was faster. The sound of his knuckles colliding with Remus' jaw was sickening.
Peter smiled for an instant, before he contorted his face into one of dismay. This was going better than he had hoped.
A jet of red light flew from Remus' wand as he recovered from the blow, and Sirius had to skirt sideways to avoid it. The curse crashed into a nearby vase, and it shattered under the force. Remus wasted no time in sending off another curse, incanting silently so that Sirius would not know what was coming. Sirius deflected the second jet of light with a Shield Charm, before rallying with one of his own. Remus ducked to avoid it, and Sirius took advantage of the distraction to lunge at him.
Both men stumbled backwards into the side table next to the sofa a few feet away from James, who stared on, mystified by what was occurring in front of him. Their collision caused an old lamp to teeter dangerously from the table before finally falling onto the floor with a crash, along with a pile of books.
Harry cried again from upstairs, this time louder than before. None of the men in the room took any notice of the noise, however. It just blended into the background of the fight.
Each one of them was grappling for the others' wand, their fury and hysteria sending a multitude of different colored sparks onto the carpet. Finally, Sirius managed to get Remus' wand arm pinned to the side of the table, but Moony held tight to his weapon. Sirius swung back with his other arm to punch him.
Remus ducked the best he could, and the blow glanced off his ear. Sirius was thrown off balance when his fist failed to fully connect, and Remus took advantage of the moment to knee Sirius. Sirius cried out and released his opponent's wrist as he tried to stumble out of range.
Remus was fast, however, and Sirius fell face forward under the power of Remus' Jelly Legs jinx. Now, towering over his old friend, Remus reached forward to draw Sirius up by his collar, but Sirius retaliated by throwing out his elbow and catching Remus in the chest. Winded, he backed off and was caught unawares by Sirius' next jinx that with a loud crack drew him up by the ankle and dangled him in midair.
Both men now hurried to undo the curses put on them. Sirius got to his feet as Remus toppled to the ground in a heap. Dangling in midair or not, Sirius now still had the advantage over Remus. He came upon him, both fist and wand at the ready. But Remus put up more of a struggle than he had anticipated, and the two of them rolled on the floor of the sitting room, curses and blows being thrown and ducked by both. One or the other would manage to scramble to their feet, only for the other to catch up and the stalemate would continue as they flew across the room, destroying furniture with neither one gaining the advantage.
Meanwhile, James looked on, hopelessly transfixed, as though he were rooted to the spot. His eyes were glued to his fighting friends, and Peter knew that he was just too abjectly horrified to do anything to stop what was happening between them. He relished the sense of control and clarity he had in such an out-of-control situation, and took pleasure in seeing James at such a loss for a course of action.
"Oh, my god!" A feminine voice gasped from up the stairs.
Peter looked up, making sure he looked just as confused as James did, and saw Lily standing at the top of the stairs, aghast. Her jaw was open and her green eyes seemed to bug out of her head. Her head swiveled from the fighting men to Peter then to James in quick succession.
"James," she cried, "do something!"
But, he seemingly didn't hear her, and he remained standing still.
Remus let out a cry of pain as Sirius boxed his ear. Red sparks sprayed involuntarily out of the tip of his wand, scorching Sirius' arm. He yelped.
The noise seemed to spur Lily into action, and she flew down the stairs. She passed off the infant to Peter as she passed quickly to break up the fight.
But even when she stood directly beside them, trying to wedge their bodies apart and screaming to be heard over the noise of the fight, nobody seemed to notice her petite frame.
"Stop it!" She yelled. "Stop it! Whatever it is you're fighting over, it isn't worth it!"
Peter felt dizzy with excitement, even as he held Harry awkwardly at arm's length. This entire situation had debacle written all over it, and he was eager for the outcome.
"Come on, boys! PLEASE!"
"You're a monster," Sirius grunted from his awkward position. "You always have been and that's all you will ever be."
"Well, at least I'm not you," Remus retorted in kind.
"I said STOP IT!"
With a great show of strength, Lily pushed herself between the two fighting men. There was a flailing of fists and a shower of light. Lily yelped once and fell quiet, and she hit the floor with a soft thump.
Harry began to cry again.
Remus and Sirius finally stopped fighting, and stared solemnly at the woman who lay on the floor between them. The quick pounding of feet across the hardwood floor called their attention to James for the first time. They looked guilty and horrified as they watched him run to his wife.
"Lily, Lily," he called gently, lifting her head and shoulders into his lap and bending over to make sure she was breathing. "Sweetheart, wake up."
Sirius and Remus began talking at the same time, their voices heavy with emotion as they pleaded.
"Is she all right, James? What can I do to help? Can I get her some water?"
"Mate, I'm sorry! But, she'll be ok; I know she'll be ok."
"I'm so sorry."
James looked up at them, and they fell silent instantly under his livid gaze.
"Get. Out."
"Prongs!"
"I'm sorry."
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! NOW!"
Peter looked on at the scene, shocked himself. It was better than he had hoped, and his heart fluttered excitedly. He was so close to achieving his goal. He looked back to Remus, Sirius, and their sorrowful faces, where angry swelling and bruises were already apparent.
Sirius looked like he wanted to argue with James and stay, presumably to help him with Lily. Remus, however, looked defeated. He swallowed heavily, took one last look at James and Lily and turned away with his head bowed. Peter heard the distant sound of the front door opening and shutting.
"Prongs?"
James ignored Sirius' plea as he focused on his unconscious wife. Sirius lingered a moment more before he, too, turned and left the house.
Peter stood silently against the wall, not really knowing whether to leave or stay. As he was holding Harry, he decided it would be within his interest to stay until James directed him to go.
Lily stirred, and Peter saw James' shoulders ease. "What happened?" She asked groggily.
James smiled weakly down at his wife. "Remus and Sirius..fought." He said it as though he could hardly believe it.
Peter was silent as James helped his wife over to the sofa and laid her down.
"Harry?" He heard Lily ask.
"Right here," he replied, speaking up for the first time, and he carefully picked his way across the remains of the sitting room.
"Thanks, Peter," she said as he laid the baby in her arms.
"I think I'll go now, Prongs," Peter said, getting the feeling that the family wanted to be alone. "Unless you want me to stay?"
"No, no, it's ok."
James rose and showed Peter out of the room.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Peter asked again as he pulled on his cloak.
"No, we're all right," James replied, sounding distant and troubled.
Peter nodded and opened the door.
"Wormtail," James called after him, "thanks."
Peter stopped and turned back from the door.
"You're a good friend, Pete."
He couldn't stop the wide smile that spread across his face at that moment. He hoped James took it for one of camaraderie and not triumph before turning away and walking from the house with a new spring in his step.
~Line Break~
Peter could hardly contain his excitement. Though he managed to keep his face neutral, it leaked out of him in the beads of sweat that formed along his brow and in the rhythmic tapping of his fingers against the Potter's kitchen table. He was practically giddy, drunk with the taste of power and admiration and the respect and the fear of his fellows that lingered just above the reach of his tongue. He flicked his eyes in the direction of the short corridor between the kitchen and the sitting room, where the whispers of James' and Lily's voices carried somewhat in the tense air that occupied the house.
Sirius also had his eyes trained on the young couple, his jaw locked and shoulders tense.
Peter studied his friend from across the table for a moment. "Relax," he offered helpfully, "it's all going to be all right."
Sirius barked incredulously before turning to look at Wormtail, and, for a second, Peter had worried he had angered him, which would throw the whole plan off. But, he then exhaled loudly and gave a half-smile before putting his feet on a different chair.
Unable to contain his energy, Peter fidgeted with his teacup.
"I'm just not sure…" Lily's voice was heard from the corridor, but James deeper timbre made his words indistinguishable to the audience in the kitchen. Then Lily exclaimed, "You don't really believe that Remus-"
James shushed, but Lily's voice did not drop low enough to drown out the rest of the sentence.
"That Remus is the spy! He's been our friend for so long!"
Both Peter and Sirius leaned forward in their chairs, each one's face hungry for the response. Everything, everything that Wormtail had worked for for the past year depended on James' response to the question, and the answer seemed to take ages to come.
"No," James replied with a heavy sigh.
Peter's heart sunk. He shot Sirius a startled look, who looked as though he was resisting the urge to jump out of his seat and knock some sense into James.
"Of course not," James continued speaking, the confidence of his voice wavering. "I mean, I don't think so, but…everything is confused these days. No one knows who is working for who, in the ministry, not anywhere."
"But it's Remus, James!" Lily protested. "Not a ministry official!"
"I know, I know, I know," James whispered, and it sounded to Peter as though he might have stepped closer to her. Perhaps he had clutched her hands in his, as Wormtail had seen him do a hundred times before, or maybe he was stroking her face, breaking down her resistance with a simple caress. Love worked wonders, and turned even the trickiest people into blithering idiots. "Look at it this way…no one will suspect that we chose Peter as Secret Keeper…and they won't go after him, or Sirius, or Remus…and everyone will be safe. I don't really believe it's Remus, but if we go with Sirius' plan and choose Peter then we will all be safer. Harry will be safer."
Lily took in a deep breath, and let it out in a shivering halt. "You're right," she practically whispered, "you're right, but…but can't we at least tell Remus?"
"No time, my love…there's no time."
"Tonight then?"
"Tonight."
Peter couldn't hardly believe this reversal of luck. He'd thought his plan was ruined thanks to Lily's stubborn sense of loyalty and friendship, but now everything was in place. Images of being tortured and worse— killed— by the Dark Lord were now replaced with fantasies of triumphant jubilation and decoration that raced through his mind like one of those Muggle films.
Lily and James emerged from the shadows of the corridor then, their hands clasped like a physical representation of their unified decision. Streaks of drying tears still lingered on Lily's face, but James' jaw was locked and his expression resolute as he nodded to Sirius.
Padfoot brought his feet down from the table and stood, stretching. He smiled at Lily, who smiled weakly back. He walked over to the couple and clasped James by the shoulder. "This will work," he said, "I promise this will work." He directed his statement mostly to Lily as though he was trying to fill her gaping doubt with his own cool confidence. "No one will ever think of Peter," he added, extending an arm out to Wormtail, beckoning him to join the little circle that the three of them had created.
In the past, Peter would have felt the slight much more than he did in that moment. Sirius' words would have stung deep back when all Wormtail wanted was respect and attention equal to that received by his friends—Sirius, the suave rebel; James, the Quidditch star; and Remus, clever and studious, a favorite amongst the Hogwarts professors.
Oh, yes, Peter reflected as he stepped forward into the arms of his former friends. He had wanted the fawning girls, the cheering crowds, and the respect of his teachers. He had wanted that more than anything, but now he was promised something much better. He moved one foot after another into the embrace that was waiting for him and onto a path that would finally give him the power and respect he so desired.
"Thanks, Mate," James said as he placed a firm grip on Wormtail's shoulder, "Thanks for taking this danger onto yourself."
Lily leaned forward and pecked his cheek. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice still choked by the tears she was holding back.
Sirius squeezed his other shoulder and smiled at him.
"Don't worry," Peter replied, looking around at all of them. He did his best to mirror Sirius' confident tones. "This is the perfect plan."