Ranching and Aliens

by Bufflytica

The Aliens from the Pilot return to Earth to raise cows for slaughter in a fashion much worse than humans do and it is up to Stan and Kyle to stop them.

1. Chapter 1

Ranching and Aliens

Note: all dialog by aliens and cows is translated from "Moo" and Trey Parker and Matt Stone own South Park

Synopsis:The aliens that probe people's behinds are on course to Earth again, but for a different purpose. They have a much darker plan this time involving the world's smartest animals.

Chapter 1.

The Aliens are watching a pirated version of Juno dubbed in "Moo". The voices over the actors were dubbed over by cows when members of their species pirated it as they speak the same language as cows, even if it mean that a big bull was dubbed over Michael Cera. The Alien Captain said " I think these humans need probes up the butts, especially the human clearly undergoing reproduction. I never understood why humans and cows have their young develop inside of them. Many fish have it right with the spraying their eggs with semen" The Alien Lieutenant said, "No, they do not, we have done that before and I have a plan that is far more important."

The Alien Captain shouted "What is the reason and what is you idea?" The Alien Lieutenant was initially terrified, but then responded meekly "Why don't we do something regarding cows, the smartest animal in the galaxy?" The Alien Captain suggested "Well, given the humans eat them, why can't we eat them regardless of how smart they are." The Alien Lieutenant said "I've observed humans raising them for slaughter before, why can't we do it ourselves and unlike the humans, we can talk to themselves".

The Alien Captain then plotted a course to Earth. They landed in Colorado outside of South Park. The Captain parked the ship on the planet and found a ranch with some cows. A human couple came out and said "what are you doing h .." and were vaporized by the aliens before getting their shotguns. The aliens now had the cows to themselves, and one cow suddenly said "I heard my friend Betsy went to a place called "Burger King" and never came back". The Alien then said "It is wonderful and I will take you there, but you will have to eat a LOT before you can go there."

To be Continued