A sponge, which for some reasons looked much more like kitchen sponge than real sponge, was sat in his couch with one of his best pal since his childhood; A snail pet. The beautiful afternoon did not reflect the rather somber look in the sponge's face. The sponge was doing nothing but stroking his pet affectionately, drew some purr from the sea's equivalent of cat. Unfortunately for the naive sponge, SpongeBob Squarepants, this reaction gave him nothing but another fuel for his day dreaming. Decided that the butterfly feeling from his stomach's became too much for him to handle, SpongeBob finally said something to his pet, sounded almost nothing like his usual self, full of self-doubt and another negative feelings that more often seen from his Octopus neighbor.
"Oh, Gary...i hate being in love..."
"Meow." The snail responded in his usual way, with a tone that showed a good grasp toward his owner's situation.
"I know, Gary. I know that this may've already happened since a long time ago. But i usually can handle it almost perfectly. But now...i can't even look at her without feeling butterfly flying in my stomach. I swore to Neptune, there's even this one time when my legs detached themselves because i became so nervous around her..."
"Meow."
"Yeah, i know. This situation made me take a vacation from Krusty Krab because i keep screwing up things there. I'm lucky that i don't face any lawsuit for that grilled Old Man Jenkins with extra onions incident." Said SpongeBob as he became even a little more depressed.
"Meow."
"Yeah, that too. I'm lucky that i absentmindedly brought my chestnut pie in Jellyfish field. Well, must be because i thought about chestnut being Sandy's favorite food. Too bad that the King Jellyfish already roasted Squidward before i gave him the pie. I hope he's okay in Bikini Bottom Hospital..."
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
"I'm sorry, Mr. Squidward, but we found that your account balance is exactly negative five thousands point zero, which means that you're getting the lowest priority in our hospital. You're very, very, very, very lucky that you don't end up as getting underpriotized over that vending machine like the Krabs incident 5 months ago."
"But my insur-"
"Especially considering that your insurance did not cover accident-caused-by-friend-against-nature's-alpha-males-and-colony-leaders."
"So my lacks of insurance and money means i have to spend my recovery days with these seafood maniacs?"
"Sweet Calamari, come to papa!"
"NO! NO SWEET CALAMARI! That sweet honey incident in Salty Spitoon still haunted my dreams every night! Roasted Calamari with Horse Radish's much, much better!"
"SWEET HONEY!"
"HORSE RADISH!"
"SWEET HONEY!"
"HORSE RADISH!"
"I'M AN OCTOPUS, YOU BARNACLE HEADS!"
"Meow!"
"I already know this's an awkward situation, Gary...After all, she's not even supposed to be living underwater. Her existence here's not by any means...natural."
"Meow!"
"And my parents maybe would not supporting our relationship. Me being Sponge, and she's a Squirrel..."
"Meow!"
"Yes, Gary. This would be the very first time a sea creature get hooked with land creature. Even Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy stayed single throughout their life."
"Meow!"
"I know how awkward things would be. Making out is virtually impossible for us. Maybe kissing can work, though...Sandy's soft cheeks and lips..."
"Meow!"
"Yeah, Gary. Maybe the shower would solve everything and improve our...what?"
"Meow?"
"Of course i don't understand, Gary! You spend the last 10 minutes explaining why a relationship between me and Sandy wouldn't work, and now you suddenly giving an advice in case it would?"
"Meow!"
"Tense? I'm not...okay, maybe you're right. I'm so nervous and scared! I mean, why would a girl who's both the prettiest, smartest and strongest squirrel in Bikini Bottom would love a wimpy Sponge like me?"
"Meow!"
"...Okay. Changing the Squirrel to Creature just made everything-"
"Meow!"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm tensing again. Any other advice that's not about you reminding me anything that i already know?" SpongeBob said as he made yet another list about him being very out of character.
"Meow!"
"What?" SpongeBob's ears perked up at hearing the advice from his best friend from childhood besides his Starfish friend. "Just do it because there's nothing to lose? Did i hear you correctly, Gary?"
"Meow!"
"I don't understand why it wouldn't, Gary! Not only there's a possibility that she rejected me, but we might not even become friend anymore! I don't want to lose her, Gary!" SpongeBob's eyes teared up at the thought of Sandy leaving him forever.
"Meow!"
"If i'm really her best friend, then why i should be worry so much? What are you talking a-"
Then it struck him hard;SpongeBob already experienced the worst of losing his best friend! From that bubble talk incident with Patrick to the fight for the cleanliness, SpongeBob already faced the prospect of losing his best friend, and things always worked out the best in the end. Suddenly, SpongeBob was reminded about the meaning of being a best friend with somebody.
"You're right, Gary! Even if i did angered her by my confession, she'll forgive me in the end! Best friends will always be there to support and forgive you!"
"Meow!" Gary said, this time with a grinning smile directed at his owner.
"Thank you for the advice, Gary! I'm gonna go to Sandy's house now, and confess my love for her!"
"Meow?"
And with that, the yellow sponge left, leaving his pet to wonder if things took a turn too sharp and sudden for the Krusty Krab's best fry cook.
Well, at least it's good to hear his I'm Ready catchphrase again.
Well, my first fanfiction after long hiatus, and i wrote SpongeBob instead of Evangelion. What a drop in edgyness level.
Don't worry, guys! I still have passion for my Evangelion fics! In fact, i already planned to do things in Steroids Evangelion like Bruce Lee getting attacked by Matt Hardy's Seven Deities, only for Wilt Chamberlain to save him, while Shinji, Hiroshi Fujioka and Van Damme did Rider Kick on Muta!
Oh, yeah! Just one thing, but i noticed the very lacking surreal elements from SpongeBob's fics, even from the better written one. I wished the Squidward's scene done the justice to that, but i know that it's just not the same from the show.