"You know you've got my hands and you've got your father's eyes, lovely, bold eyes. I know that it's not fair, things aren't always what they seem...and bluebirds sang, there's no place like home" – The Story (So Much Mine)
Neal Caffrey doesn't mean to leave the house without a proper jacket. He just isn't thinking straight. He's spent enough time in New York City to gauge the temperatures in the early winter time, but tonight he's just not thinking. He doesn't even take his favorite hat. He's simply in a skimpy coat with no gloves and lacking the proper shoes for walking on icy streets. He hasn't slept in a few days and he's barely eaten anything since his father went on the run. June leaves him food, but he barely touches it and she's forced to take it back before it goes bad. Neal leaves, but not before he tells June he's going to get some fresh air. He doesn't want to worry her after all.
The air is chilly and Neal shivers as he pulls his jacket closer to his body. Despite his build, Neal doesn't like to admit that he gets cold easily. He keeps his hands in his pockets and walks briskly away from June's apartment. He doesn't care if his tracking anklet goes off. He keeps walking, silently hoping somebody will take notice that he's wandering. He wishes his father could see the tracking information. He wishes he could see that Neal is running from thoughts of him. He wishes his father could see how hurt he is that he had to leave once more. Neal can't entirely recall the first time that his father left, but he knows that this particular time probably won't be the last.
Neal walks faster. The more he thinks, the faster he goes. He's been ignoring Mozzie's calls and keeping to himself instead of talking with June. He's been putting on a good persona at work for Peter, even though it's been at least a month after the whole thing went down, but his mask is falling ever so slowly. Peter knows, too. Peter can tell. Neal hates that. He hates how Peter can see right through him like he's a pane of glass. He's shattered glass now. Neal bites his lip until it bleeds and then starts jogging, his hands free from his pockets now.
He breaks into a run once he reaches the park. He's way out of his radius and he doesn't care. He wants to be. Half of him doesn't want to be bothered, but the other half wants Peter to see his tracking anklet. He wants Peter to find him. He wants his real father to find him, not a man who thinks he can walk in and out as he pleases. Peter's been more of a father and friend to him than his real father ever was. And he told his real father that. The bastard smiled when he did and agreed with him. Neal was disappointed. He'd at least wanted him to put up some sort of fight about it, claim he was going to try. He wanted him to claim he was going to stay. Then everything went to shit and James Bennett couldn't make promises he couldn't keep. Neal understands, at least he wants to.
Neal runs. He runs and slips on the ice halfway through the park. He goes down and feels the sting of the ice on his kneecaps and the pavement on his palms. He curses and hisses in pain as he tries to get back up, only to slip again. His knees are bruised so badly and he's getting cold again. He doesn't want to go home. He doesn't want to be alone, but here he is making an ass of himself in Central Park, and he's alone. He doesn't want to bother June or inconvenience Mozzie. Jones and Diana are off the table. They're both at home leading their perfect little lives. Why would they care enough about him to find him in the park, cold and hurt, on a Friday night?
Neal shivers violently and pulls the jacket tight for a third time. His knees are starting to ache unbearably and he can barely stand, much less walk, from how hard he went down. He drags himself to the nearest park bench and sits down, trying to conserve body heat and to stay awake. If he falls asleep, the nightmares will come. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want that at all. He'll dream of his mother, what little he remembers about her, and his father and a dead woman named Ellen who he'd give anything to have another hug from. He's close to breaking down. He can't do that, not if somebody were to find him. He can't do that in public. It's not dignified. It's not him.
Eventually the pain is too much for him to keep his eyes open.
Neil accidentally falls asleep.
-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-
He's awakened by a gentle shaking of his shoulder. He murmurs about his mom and the person doesn't answer. It can't be her. The hands are too rough, his dad maybe? No, the voice is too gentle. It can't be Mozzie. He'd have freaked out by now. It's the only person Neil could ever hope for.
It's Special Agent Peter Burke.
"Neil," his soft voice makes Neil want to stay in his dreamless sleep. He could listen to it for hours. It's terribly comforting and so familiar. "What the hell are you doing out here, it's late?"
"D-Didn't mean to end up here," Neil slurs a bit from being tired. He's still clinging to the one good dream he was having. His mother was wearing the dress she loved and she was making him breakfast. She was smiling and her hair was perfect. He can see her clearly when he's asleep. He just wonders why he can't when he's awake.
"Yeah," Peter nods. "I'm sure. Neil you're gonna freeze to death out here."
"A-Already c-cold," Neil shakes and Peter sheds his heavy coat. He wraps it around Neil's body and sits with him for a minute. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," Peter nods. "Let's get you home okay?"
"J-June's 'sleep," Neil says and shakes more from the lingering knee pain from his icy incident than from the cold air. "I don't wanna wake h-her up."
"Then you're coming to my place," Peter stands up and holds out his hands for Neil to take. "Elizabeth's in New Jersey for the weekend for a catering event and it gets pretty boring when it's just me and Satchmo."
Neil nods, not bothering to protest. He takes a careful step and immediately goes down once a surge of white hot pain shoots up his knees and he cries out. Peter holds him up by his torso like they're in some sort of weird dance move. Neil wants to apologize, but he's too embarrassed by his state of being to speak. Peter understands. He doesn't question Neil. He keeps him afloat. He keeps him on his two feet. He helps him across the icy walkways and sidewalks that haven't been salted yet. They slip and almost fall a few times, but Peter doesn't complain. He and Neil simply keep going.
They reach Peter's house late, but Neil's grateful for the solid ground. The house is warm and inviting and Satchmo is lying by the couch. His head perks up the second Neil enters and he goes over to the CI the second Peter sets him down on the couch. Neil slowly pets behind Satchmo's ears and comments on what a good dog that he is. Peter gathers everything Neil will need to sleep. While Neil is occupied with the dog on the couch, Peter grabs a blanket and an extra pillow from his bedroom. He also picks out some sleeping clothes that will fit Neil. They're close to the same size. He hands the articles of clothing to Neil and tells him he's free to change into them and Peter will leave the room if he wants him to.
"I don't care." Neil says, but Peter explains that he'll be right back either way.
Peter acquires painkillers and all the right supplies to clean a cut lest Neil be more injured than he lets on. He fills a glass with water and instructs a now comfortably dressed Neil to take the medicine. Neil obliges if only to cure the pain in his legs, which Peter inspects and finds minimal damage to besides bad bruising. He's just thankful that Neil didn't break anything. His CI gets into enough trouble as it is without injuring himself. Peter helps Neil get settled in and then dims the lights in the living room.
"Thank you," Neil says in a low and tired voice. His eyelids are drooping.
"You're welcome Neil." Peter smiles and watches as Caffrey falls asleep.
Satchmo, who normally follows his master everywhere, stays put and lies down by Neil's side. Peter smiles at his furry companion.
"Good boy Satch," Peter whispers. "Make sure he's okay, alright? Keep him safe."
Satchmo whines and lays his head down on his paws, letting out a deep sigh. Peter goes upstairs to try and get some sleep.
-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-
Peter comes downstairs for a drink at two am. Neil is on his side, but tossing and turning in his sleep. His dark hair is in knots and his hands are tucked close to his body. He's groaning in pain and Peter suspects that either the pain pill wore off or he's having another bad dream. June informed Peter of the nightmares Neil's been having. Peter gets his water and walks over to the chair beside the couch, taking it. Neil's twitching and writhing. Peter sighs. He watches his young CI for a moment before reaching out and rubbing Neil's back. It's the only way he can think to bring comfort without waking up his friend. It seems to work. Neil calms. His muscles loosen up and he relaxes into the pillow. Peter fixes the blanket so that he's warm enough. Neal's eyes are fluttering behind his eyelids. He's dreaming and Peter continues to rub his back.
His legs twitch a little, but other than that Neil is eventually calm and sleeping peacefully. Satchmo lifts his head up and licks Neil's hand a few times before Peter snaps at him to cut it out and that Neil's trying to sleep. Peter finishes his water and sets the glass down on the coffee table, kicking up his feet as well. He cocks his head and smiles at Neil. He can only imagine what he's been through since his father ran again. He can't fathom the inner turmoil. He knows why Neil ran tonight. Sometimes people have to run to try and escape their demons. Luckily, Peter was around just in time to make the demons go away if only for one night.
"I'm not leaving you for the birds Neil," Peter whispers. He doubts that Caffrey can hear him, but he knows one way or another he needs to hear the words. "You're safe with me, with Elizabeth and Satchmo and June and Mozzie and Diana and Jones. We're you're family. We're gonna take care of you, that's what real family does."
Neil hears bits and pieces of what Peter says, but for the first time in his life he actually takes Peter's inspiring words to heart. He does feel safe.
And that is enough to make any sad and blue bird sing.
Reviews are appreciated!
A/N: My FIRST White Collar Fanfiction! Woo hoo! I hope I did well? I love Peter and Neil's friendship so much and I wanted to write a hurt/comfort fic that would dive deep. I hope to write more for this fandom now that I'm so deeply into it.