Some darkness's were blinding.
Like when you put your hand in front of your face and you couldn't even see it.
Remus had yet to decide if he liked that darkness.
He supposed it was good for the moment, because technically, if he couldn't see her, he couldn't feel guilty.
That was a lie, and he knew it. Guilt wound up inside him like a huge balloon. Soon enough, it would pop, and it would all come out.
Tonks didn't know.
She didn't have a clue about him and Sirius. He doubted that she wanted to know. Especially now. He didn't know why he'd done it… it had felt so right, at the time. It still did. He liked the idea of waking up to her pink hair and a bright smile, instead of the dark moping looks he'd been getting from Sirius recently.
That was starting to feel wrong.
He didn't want it to feel like that. He didn't want to stop loving Sirius. And yet something had changed. He didn't know what. He felt uncomfortable with Sirius now, awkward almost. And he knew it shouldn't be like that. It hadn't been like that since that first time, when they were 16. They were almost double that now.
Tonks felt right. He knew that much. But he loved them both. He didn't want to choose… but he knew he would have to eventually.
That was when Remus decided that he liked this blinding darkness. It wasn't as confusing as other Blacks he knew.