This is my very first fanfic, so please be gentle with me. Of course the disclaimer: I don't own anything Rookie Blue.
"The ring is in the lock box, where I found it."
Andy walked out of Luke's house and considered her options. Traci looked so happy with Leo and Jerry at the open house, and she hated to interrupt their evening. She could go to her Dad's, but she didn't want to do anything that might affect his sobriety. Gail had a really rough night with Superintendent Peck at the station, and Andy was sure Chris would be busy comforting her. Dov was like a brother, but with his leaky vault she knew he was not someone she could confide in. She could go to the Penny, but she really wasn't in the mood to discuss what happened with anyone, and let's face it, with how she looked there were bound to be lots of questions.
Andy was so mad. She should have listened to Sam. She should have listened to her gut, especially after seeing Jo make Luke so happy in his hospital room. She fooled herself into believing he was the perfect person. She thought she was making the right choice by dating someone different. She faked it for awhile, but eventually she felt like she really loved Luke. She should have known something was up when she got the flowers, and a spa package, really? How could she be so blind? Then there was Jo, and her nasty comments at the station. The weakest of the pack comment in front of Oliver and Jerry. Andy couldn't stop berating herself for being so stupid.
She started walking, and before she realized it she was standing on Sam's steps. She flashed back to the night of the blackout. That night she was devastated and Sam took away her pain. She had never felt so alive, it really was the best mistake of her life. Sam made her feel that way, and she had thrown it all away for Luke.
She just wanted to forget Luke, forget the pain. Andy knocked on the door, then turned around and realized that Sam's truck wasn't out front. She wondered where he was. She had looked for him at the open house but didn't see him. Part of her had wanted to run to him for comfort then, and part of her wanted to hide from him. She was so embarrassed at her stupidity. She sat down to wait for Sam, trying to figure out what she would say to him when he got home.
"McNally? What are you doing here? McNally, wake up. Are you okay?" Andy jumped and looked around. She must have fallen asleep waiting for Sam to get home. "Come on" He helped her up and unlocked his door. As he walked in Andy didn't think, she just acted. She pushed him against the wall and kissed him. Sam reacted instantly, passionately, and she felt whole again. Then her world crumbled again as he pushed her away.
"No, McNally. Not this time" Sam growled. His body was on fire from touching her. It took all of his strength to let go, to push her away. This was what he wanted, what he had dreamed about so many times since the blackout. He tried to slow his breathing, and turn off his body's reaction to her touch. As he came to his senses he was furious. Andy was getting married. Why on earth was she here, in his house, kissing him? Sam held her away from him and yelled "What the hell are you thinking, McNally? "
Andy shook Sam's hands off her shoulder and stepped back. She didn't know that there was something that could hurt her worse than Luke's betrayal, but Sam's rejection did just that. She stammered "Oh gosh, Sam, I am so sorry. I'm sorry. I ruin everything." and turned and walked out the door.
Sam grabbed Andy's hand and pulled her back into the house and closed the door. "Oh no you don't. You don't get to just kiss me and run away again. Talk to me. What happened?"
Andy turned to the door and tried to open it. "McNally, you're not leaving until you talk to me, so let's go sit down." Sam took Andy's hand and pulled her to the couch. "Sit, I'll get you a drink." Sam walked to the kitchen, running his hands through his hair, willing his body to relax. He grabbed two beers, two shot glasses, and a bottle of scotch, then walked back to the couch.
Andy sat on the couch while Sam went to the kitchen, thinking about what she was going to say. How could she apologize for what she just did? Sam was the one person she could always count on, and she had just ruined that. What was wrong with her?
"Here, drink this, then talk" Sam said as he handed Andy the shot of scotch. Sam drained his shot, then opened a beer and handed it to Andy. He sat down on the coffee table in front of her, sipped his beer and stared at her. After a few minutes he snapped "Talk McNally"
Andy looked up at Sam and then back down at her lap. "I can't, Sam. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I shouldn't have come here." She started to stand up and Sam pushed her back down. "Well you did, so talk to me. Pretend you just got here and walked in the door."
"Hey, McNally? Want to talk?"
"Sam…"
"Rough day, McNally?"
"The worst. " Andy looked at Sam, the kindness in his eyes, and it all just flooded out. She started talking super fast. "Why, Sam? Why do I make all the wrong choices? Why am I so unlucky in love? Why does everyone I love abandon me? What is wrong with me? You know, you tell me to listen to my gut but also tell me not to over think things. Well, I should have done both. I should have listened to my gut when Jo came to 15. I tried not to over think things, but I ignored the signs. I am so stupid. I put the ring back where I found it. I'm not getting married. I am sorry, Sam, I walked out of Luke's house and before I knew it I was on your porch. I always make the wrong choices. I made the wrong one when I chose Luke, and now I made the wrong one coming here and ruining things with the one person I could always count on."
Sam just stared at Andy, trying to process all the things she strung together. Andy sat with her head in her hands, sobbing. "I tried to be the best girlfriend I could. I've done everything I could think of to make things better after he was shot. When we first got together I wasn't sure, I mean, I was trying to make the right choice. Before you got to Fight Night my Dad had gotten drunk and started a fight with someone. When I sat on the porch with Traci afterwards she told me it was no wonder I always picked the wrong guys. I decided then to take Luke up on his offer for a drink, thinking that maybe if I tried something new I would find happiness. I guess it was just more of the same, I still chose the wrong guy."
Andy took a deep breath, and looked at Sam, her eyes filled with pain. "And I hurt you, which is the worst part of it all."
"You are always there for me, Sam. Always there when I need you, but this wasn't fair. I just wanted to feel alive, like I did the night of the blackout. You took my pain away that night. You filled me with a passion I didn't know existed. I guess I just wanted to feel that again."
"McNally" Sam said with a warning in his voice.
"Luke cheated on me with Jo."
Andy looked at Sam, waiting for the sarcastic comment, but he was silent. He was looking at his fists, which were tightly clenched. He didn't say anything for a few minutes, and she wondered what he was thinking.
"What no sarcastic comment, Sam? No I told you so?"
"He's an idiot."
"I should have known, you know. Traci says everyone has a person. The person that you want to be with, that the timing was just wrong, the person who you can hardly keep your hands off. I've never been that person for Luke. He always chose work over me. I think Jo is that person for Luke. I just wish he had been honest with me. I asked him why he still wanted to get married, and he couldn't even look me in the eye when he answered because I love you."
Sam was thinking of Traci's description of his person. He knew Andy was his, and had to know once and for all how she felt about Luke. "Was he that person for you, Andy?"
"No" She answered without hesitation.
"Then why did you want to marry him?"
"He was supposed to be the safe choice. The one who wouldn't hurt me. The one I could trust with my heart, who wouldn't leave me. I thought we could be happy together."
"Andy, why did you come here tonight?"
"You always make me feel better. You save me, Sam."
"I can't save you from yourself, McNally. You need some time and space to figure out what your heart wants. I'll be here as your partner. You know I always have your back, but I can't take this pain from you. I won't be your rebound. I deserve better than that and you know it."
Sam thought to himself "It's my turn, McNally, to make you realize what true love feels like. You have no idea what you are in for. I've suffered for months longing for you, now it's your turn."