Radio KAOS

by Resurgent-class

Season 1 Story 5.1 Takes place during Season 1, between episodes #5 Now You See Him Now You Don't and #6 Washington 4, Indians 6. Maxwell Smart and Agent 99 hunt for KAOS' latest method of smuggling U.S Military secrets out of the country; a hidden shortwave radio station. [My first fan-fiction and hoping not my last. Please review so I can improve! Hope you like it.]

1. Chapter 1 Deli Dilemma

Radio KAOS

A Get Smart Fan Fiction

By Resurgent-class

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY GET SMART CHARACTERS

CHAPTER 1 Delicatessen Dilemma

As the sun shines gently down on Washington D.C, Maxwell Smart could not imagine a better day for tailing a KAOS courier; the glorious sunlight coupled with cool air, birds arcing about in flight in the dazzling blue sky in a display of pure freedom, a capital city vibrant with life and most of all—the KAOS agent who has absolutely no idea he was being tailed. Which to Max was a very important factor and great advantage to possess whenever possible when tailing someone. However, despite his keen grasp and mastery of this concept, Max failed to understand why the Lamont Cranston Awards for Shadowing continues to elude him.

As 86 relaxes at his table in the al fresco area of the café and sipped at his coffee, he keeps an eye on the apartment building across the street. A soft beeping comes from his Wrist Communicator T-37. Max produces a wire and ear piece from his suit jacket pocket, plugging it into the communicator and fitting the ear piece into his right ear before speaking into the wrist device.

"This is Maxwell Smart. Agent Eighty-Six here. Come in CONTROL."

As Max listens to the Chief's voice filtering through the ear piece he nods and replies.

"Nothing yet Chief. But don't' worry. I've been watching Krycek for a week and I am positive he's the KAOS courier. Once he makes a move, I'll know how and where he's delivering the secrets to—the where, I'm confident, is one of the five delicatessens we have uncovered, one of which is a KAOS front—Yes Chief, I have agents staked out at all five of them now.—Yes Chief. I'll be able to notify our agents ahead of time as to which one Krycek is headed to and they'll spot how he's delivering the secrets. Once we have confirmation, we'll move in and smash the KAOS smuggling ring ONCE and for all!"

Max listens for a few moments before continuing.

"Don't worry Chief. I'm not on my shoe, I'm using the T-37—Yes I know to people walking by I look like a guy talking to his watch…yes I know if I arouse suspicion I could set this operation back weeks. But I assure you Chief, with Maxwell Smart's KEEN insight into the human mind, I will be able to avoid any suspicions WHATSOEVER! You see, I've come to realize that sometimes the truth itself is the best cover story because the human mind often never expects it!"

Max stops as the young red haired waitress stops by to top up his coffee and she squints her large brown eyes at what he was doing. Looking up at her with the wrist communicator still raised, Max states nonchalantly,

"It's ok. I'm a secret agent and I'm talking with my Chief on my secret wrist communication device about a stakeout I'm on."

The waitress' large brown eyes becomes even larger as her jaw dropped and she bursts out yelling and screaming;

"A secret agent?! A secret agent?! Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Ohmygod! A secret agent?! Here?!—"

Max's eyes popped even larger than the hysterical waitress as his lips peeled back revealing his clenched teeth as he gestured desperately at her to be quiet, half getting out of his chair and looking about frantically at the other patrons who were all turning to look at them.

"—A secret agent?! Are we about to be attacked?! Are the Russians here?! Have the Vietcongs invaded us instead?! Is it the Chinese?! Are we being watched?! I have to tell Mack! Maaaaack! There's a secret agent hereeeeee! He says the Russians, Chinese and Vietcongs and all our enemies are gonna kill uuuuus! Get the money and ruuuuuuun….! Call your children! Call your wife!...NO! Forget your WIIIIIIFE!"

As the waitress runs off screaming back into the café, Max throws his hands up in dismay and slumps back down in his seat to talk again into his wrist communicator.

"Chief? Maxwell Smart's keen insight into the human mind has provided a CRUCIAL revelation.—Honesty is OVERrated."

Immediately Max squeezes his eyes shut and grimaced, yanking the earpiece out and holding it away from his ear as the Chief's irate curses and rants came filtering over it loud enough to be heard, resembling the screaming of a mad psychotic chipmunk.

Across the street, a man in a beige belted trench coat over a dark suit with sunglasses and a tan fedora emerged from the front entrance of the apartment building carrying a brown briefcase.

Without putting the earpiece back into his ear, Max cuts the Chief's rantings off, speaking into the communicator.

"Chief. I gadda go. Krycek is on the move."

Krycek walked swiftly down the side walk as Max tosses a few bills on the table and leaves. As the KAOS courier gets into his blue sedan parked just a few meters down the street, Max was already in his red 1965 Sunbeam Tiger two-seat roadster near the café. Within minutes, he was following the KAOS agent at a discreet distance. Krycek did not appear to be suspicious at all and 10 minutes later, Max was parked at a corner keeping watch and speaking again on the wrist communicator.

"All's going smooth Chief. Krycek doesn't suspect a thing...Right now? We're at 25 Oakmire street. Krycek is getting some coffee and doughnuts."

Even as he spoke, the KAOS agent paid the vendor at the doughnut stand and walked back to his car with a coffee in one hand and eating a jelly doughnut out of the other. Within seconds, Max was tailing the blue sedan again weaving through streets and intersections. As he pulls his Sunbeam Tiger to a stop about 3 cars behind his quarry a few minutes later as they stopped at a traffic light, Max speaks into the T-37 again.

"Eighty-Six to agents at all observation points, all observation points. Report in."

A slew of voices both male and female filtered over his ear piece one after another.

"Agent Fifty-Eight here at Jordan's Deli. Standing by."

"Fifty-One, McQueen's Deli. Standing by."

The next voice, modulated and soothing as silk on naked skin, glided through the ear piece deep into his ear canal before caressing his ear drum loosing none of its intoxicating quality to the technological barrier, caused Max to inexplicably tighten his grip on the steering wheel for reasons which he could not comprehend.

"Ninety-Nine at Benny's Delicatessen. Standing by Max."

"Agent Seventy-One at Chill's Chili and Deli. Standing by."

"Agent Forty-Five outside Desalvo's. Standing by."

"Alright agents. I'm still tailing Krycek, we're now at Kensington and Lamont." Max reported watching Krycek's sedan for any suspicious activity and trying to shake off the after effects of 99's voice. "I cannot as yet determine which of the five targets he's headed to but I'll let you all know the moment I find out. Remember, once he shows up, proceed to phase two of your observation. You have to get INTO the delicatessen you're observing and determine how he is passing the secrets over to the KAOS agents posing as the staff."

71's low voice sounded through the ear piece.

"Seventy-One to Eighty-Six. Is he carrying anything?"

"Just a brown briefcase. But since KAOS has likely converted the information into microfilm or microdot, he could hand it over in any object as small as a pack of cigarettes."

"Forty-Five to Eighty-Six—" 45's smooth yet crisp and measured feminine voice floated through the T-37's ear-piece "—is he still driving the blue sedan with the same license plate?"

"That's right Forty-Five." Max confirmed "Meaning he doesn't' suspect that I'm following him or that we're watching the deli, whichever it is he's headed to…ok, we're on the move again. If there's nothing else to report from your end, I'll update you when I have his destination."

"Seventy-One to Fifty-One. I'll need a grilled chicken on corn bread with lettuce, tomatoes, no cheese, just a sprinkle of jalapenos…"

"Seventy-ONE!" Max rolled his eyes as he steered to pass a pick-up truck to keep the blue sedan in view "WHAT are you doing?"

"Eeeeh…ordering lunch? It's that little ritual us humans like da engage in usually around twelve da one to prevent, I don't' know…STARVATION?!"

"I KNOW that!" Max stated irritably as he moved his car past a cab. "I mean we're all on a mission here and you're running surveillance on a delicatessen of your own! Just get your OWN lunch!"

"But Max! All Chill's Chili and Deli have are preserved MEATS! You KNOW I can't eat anything with nitrates ever since KAOS poisoned me three years ago while I was protecting the Swedish ambassador! I TOLD you da let me stake out McQueen's, they're one of only three deli's in the DC area that's gad nitrate free foods…"

"Alright! Alright!" Max gave up exasperated as he shifted in his seat from left to right trying to keep the KAOS courier's blue sedan in view. "Make your order! Make your order!"

"Ok just a sprinkle of jalapenos," 71 continued "some cucumbers and an earl-grey tea."

"I think McQueen only has Darjeeling." 51 offered

"Yeah that's good. Straight, no sugar!"

"Gaddit!"

"Fifty-Eight to Seventy-One. I'll take a foot long, whole wheat, country ham, imported Kulen salami and soppressata, heavy on the melted cheddar and don't be shy on the mustard, plus…"

"FIFTY-EIGHT! Do-you-mind?!" Max interjected switching gears and turning a corner. "I know YOU don't have any dietary restrictions! You have your OWN deli!"

"Not with imported, air-flown Kulen salami and soppressata I don't." 58 stated and continued. "Plus a potato salad, large cappuccino, triple shot with sugar."

"Gaddit."

"Fifty-Eight does Jordan's carry any smoked salmon?" came the next inquiry from 45 which made Max slap his forehead.

"Fraid' not Forty-Five. He's got gravlax and Mahi though."

"I don't' think so…oh dear! All Desalvo's got are imported Italian charcuterie."

"Forty-Five, Ninety-Nine here. Benny has imported tuna without mayo. Would that be ok?"

"Oh that'd be great Ninety-Nine! Uuuum…on rye with tomatoes and a black coffee."

"No problem. Max would you like anything?"

"I'm FINE!" Max snapped as he pushed down on the accelerator to pass a Buick and maintain a 4 car distance with Krycek.

"Fifty-One to Seventy-One. I'll take an extra-large Chill's chili with sourdough, a pack of chips and large coffee, milk and sugar."

"All they got left is the jumbo sized chili."

"Even better."

"Fifty-One!" came 45's exclamation "You HEARD what the doctor said about your cholesterol and blood pressure! Why don't you just get a grilled chicken sandwich right at McQueen or Ninety-Nine could get us some tuna on rye."

"Really? We're starting already?" came 51's tight reply while Max's eyes popped in disbelief as he pulled out from behind a car. "We're not even engaged and you're gonna tell me what I can or can't eat? Come on! Let me have my guilty pleasures!"

"And I'm WHAT exactly?!" 45 returned as Max lifted his butt off his seat to look past a tow truck to keep sight of the blue sedan "Also, uh—aren't you supposed da take comfort in food AFTER we've been married for like eight years with two or more kids and I go da waste because I'm killing myself CARING for your sorry ass?!"

"Oh so I'm a mistake?! Is that what you're saying?!"

"Fifty-Eight to Fifty-One and Forty-Five. Fifty-One, speaking with years of marriage and FOUR kids, I'm with Forty-Five on the comfort food. Wait fer' least FIVE years of marriage and TWO kids."

"What is the matter Fifty-One?!" 45 asked

"I just wanna eat what I wanna eat! Is that too much da ask?!"

"For god-sakes!" Max cried as he moved up past two more cars "KAOS is smuggling our military secrets to our enemies behind the iron curtain! Our nation's defenses are on the brink of being compromised! Freedom and liberty of the entire world hangs in the balance! Could you two save your personal issues for…"

"Just…just one minute Eighty-Six!" 45 insisted making Max roll his eyes and slam his head in frustration back into the headrest and instantly his eyes popped at the instant migraine within his skull and the stars in his vision and he slowly shook his head regretting his action. "Fifty-One is…is there a problem with us? If there is you need to talk to me about this. That's what being in a relationship means!"

"Fifty-One," 99's modulated flawless tone joined in "Forty-Five is a wonderful girl and I KNOW for a fact that she cares a great deal for you so please, you two need to work this…"

"Ninety-NINE! Don't' encourage them!" Max fumed turning the steering wheel in frustration to get out from behind a vehicle.

"This CANT' be about junk food Fifty-One." 45 continued gently "Talk to me! Isn't coming home to each other enough? Sitting down together in front of the TV? Watching Johnny Carson? Talking about who you spied on, where I placed the surveillance devices, which KAOS agent tried to kill us. Isn't that what both of us wanted as part of a normal life? Don't' you still want that?"

"I…I…I'm sorry Forty-Five." 51 finally admitted and Max placed his elbow on the window sill of his Sunbeam Tiger and propped his chin on his hand, shaking his head in dismay. "It's…of course that's what I want! But…but the very thing that brought us together is keeping us apart! I mean, I've seen you like FOUR times in the last two months! When you're in D.C, I'm a tour guide in a Bucharest museum! When I'M in D.C, you're a hairdresser in a Milan salon! When we happen to be in East Germany together, you're tailing a KAOS assassin in East Berlin while I'm watching a KAOS courier in Rostok! It..it's killing me Forty-Five!"

"Oh Fifty-One! I miss you too!" 45 promised

"And…and it's not like we both teach Sunday school! One moment I'm helping to bust a KAOS ruby smuggling ring, next moment…who KNOWS?! I could be DEAD, shot in the back of my head and fed to sharks, hopefully in that order, or captured and thrown into a cage with a mad gorilla or…or get a knife thrown into my back while dressed AS a gorilla! I never know if the last time I kissed you would BE the last time! I love you so much Forty-Five!"

"I love you too Fifty-One!" Forty-Five swore "It's the life we both chose, when we joined CONTROL. Yes, we never know when it'll be our last time together! That just means we should treasure every moment we do have together that much more and talk to each other when there's anything bothering us!"

"I will Forty-Five! I will!"

"Could you two wrap this up—PLEASE!" Max begged turning another corner just two cars behind Krycek.

"Fifty-One, get whatever you like Chill's Chili ok? But you have to promise me you'll cut down for the next few days, hit the gym when you get the chance and no skipping on your meds."

"I don't want the chili. I just want you ok? I know I'm no catch at my age with this bald head and increasingly huge waist but you chose me! And I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that you made the right choice! " Fifty-One said

"I KNOW I did Fifty-One!"

"And I promise, I'll stick to the meds."

"I'm SO glad you two worked it out!" Ninety-Nine gushed

"Thanks Ninety-Nine! And Fifty-One, especially, don't forget your blood pressure medication. ESPECIALLY your blood pressure medication, cause…you know."

"R…re…really? Can…can we do that…that dance with the…the fur and the satin and…and could you wear that…that red and white lace we both like?"

Max's eyes popped even as he presses a finger to his earpiece to ensure he catches every word while veering past a concrete mixer truck.

"Fifty-One! Ssssshhhh!" Forty-Five giggled "People are listening!"

"Oh NOW it bothers you!" Max exclaimed tossing his hands up.

"Fifty-Eight to Seventy-One. I changed my mind." Max grimaced and shook his head.

"Ax the foot long, whole wheat, country ham, imported Kulen salami and soppressata, heavy on the melted cheddar and mustard?" asked Seventy-One

"No. Now I want TWO of them WITH egg salad."

"Can we all get back to the task at hand of preserving the security of our Nation on the side of niceness and goodness against the forces of evil and badness?!" Max exclaimed "Can we all put aside our petty little relationship problems, bad marriages, growling stomachs and FOCUS on what is important?!"

"Absolutely Max!" Ninety-Nine said supportively.

"Yes…Yes!...We're all in!...Standing by and ready da enforce niceness with an iron hand!...We're with you Eighty-Six!" Came the chorus from the observation point agents.

"Good!" Max beamed proudly. "Now, Ninety-Nine!"

"Yes Max!"

"This is very important!"

"Right Max!"

"I'll take a half-pastrami, half-corned beef on rye, English mustard on the side, fruit-salad and large black coffee, extra sweet!"

The flow of traffic stopped again at a red light with Max's Sunbeam Tiger just three cars behind Krycek's sedan. As he watched, a dark green 4-door Citroën DS moved up past him and stopped smoothly on the blue sedan's left. Max sat back to wait for the light but almost immediately sat up, leaning forward towards his windscreen, eye's focused.

The driver's side window on the blue sedan was winded down and Krycek's brown briefcase slid out into a pair of eagerly waiting black gloved hands that reached out from the passenger side window of the Citroën DS. Both cars' windows were winded up just as swiftly and smoothly. The light changed to green and traffic started flowing again.

"Eighty-Six to all observation points and CONTROL!" Max spoke urgently as he stepped on the clutch and cruised again, keeping watch on the two vehicles. "It's a switch! It's a switch! KAOS is adopting tracking counter-measures. Krycek just passed his briefcase to a dark green Citroën four door sedan! Krycek is a decoy! I'm staying with the Citroën! All observation posts standby!"

Right at that moment, they reached a T-junction and Krycek went straight while the DS turned smoothly to the left. Max's Sunbeam Tiger took the turn to the left smoothly, keeping behind a few cars so as not to look suspicious. The DS cruised on for a few minutes taking a winding path through several side streets.

"Eighty-Six to CONTROL and observation posts!" Max spoke turning the steering wheel smoothly to the right as the DS made another turn. "We're on Nineteenth Street Southeast and moving into Massachusetts Avenue now. That means he's headed to either Jordan's or Desalvos. Fifty-Eight and Forty-Five, be on the lookout."

The dark green DS continued cruising along Massachusetts Avenue for a few minutes and passes Mount Vernon Square, continuing northwest.

"They're approaching Thomas Circle now." Max reported into the T-37 as he held the steering wheel in one hand. "Fifty-Eight, that means it's going to be Jordan's."

"Roger, Eighty-Six."

"The car is packed, four KAOS agents in total. That means whatever information Krycek passed to them today must be extremely valuable!" Max noted "So be careful Fifty-Eight and …"

Max stops and is left gaping as the DS's engine roared with a sudden surge of power as the driver stamped on the accelerator and the vehicle surges forward down the road. 86 barely has time to switch gears and step down on his own gas pedal before the DS reaches and intersection turns down the road to the left causing several vehicles to swerve and honk in protest. The Sunbeam Tiger weaves past several cars before it reaches the intersection and follows suit, wheels screeching on the road. Max catches sight of the DS several meters ahead speeding and dodging past other vehicles to increase the distance between them.

"Eighty-Six to all observation points and CONTROL. The Citroën has increased their speed and has cut into Fourteenth Street. Fifty-Eight you can relax and I'll let you all know…"

"CONTROL to Eight-Six! Max! This is the Chief!" In his office at CONTROL Headquarters, the Chief at his desk talks into his phone which is patched through to Max's communicator. "Fourteenth Street doesn't' lead ANYWHERE near any of the five delis we have under surveillance! Are you sure they haven't spotted you?!"

"Don't be ridiculous Chief!" Max stated confidently as he closed the distance between his Sunbeam Tiger and the DS, dodging past a brown station wagon. "My skills in tailing are unparalleled! There is no possibility! Absolutely no chance in the world that they could POSSIBLY be aware that I am following them!"

The two KAOS agents in the rear seats of the DS wearing belted trench coats and fedoras leaned out the windows facing backwards, each holding a Vigneron M2 submachine gun. The continuous roar of the weapons cut through the mundane noises of motor vehicular engines and horns. Bullets strafed the road surfaces cutting lines towards and past the Sunbeam Tiger. Max jerked the steering wheel left and right trying to dodge the automatic fire. Bullets strafed the bonnet of the Sunbeam kicking up a line of sparks off the bullet resistant chassis. The KAOS agent at the right side passenger seat tilted his blazing M2 and Max had to veer sharply to the left as 3 bullets slammed against the bullet proof windshield leaving scratches.

"Eight-Six to CONTROL!" Max spoke leaning in towards his wrist communicator "Would you believe—ALMOST no chance in the world they could possibly be aware that I'm…"

"Max! The operation is blown! All we can do now is at least stop them from getting away with the information!" the Chief exclaimed into the phone "I just received a report from both the CIA and Military Intelligence! There is a good chance that Krycek was delivering the schematics for Project Phalanx! You need to stop them!"

"Right Chief!" Max acknowledged veering sharply to the right again as the blazing M2s sent bullets cascading off the bonnet again just as the DS turned down a street to the right.

"This is the Chief to Agents Fifty-Eight and Forty-Five!" the Chief directed "Both of you are still the closest! Head to Eight-Six's location immediately and assist him! Stop those couriers! Seventy-One, Ninety-Nine and Fifty-One standby. I'm mobilizing more agents on this side now!"

Sitting at a diner across the street from Jordan's Deli, agent 58 acknowledged the Chief on his cigarette lighter communicator and runs immediately out to his car while agent 45 disguised as a flower vendor near Desalvo's, yanks her uniform cap off her compact tiny afro along with her apron and tosses them aside as she runs to her car, pulling on her orange trench coat over her light grey mini-dress.

The DS continues to race down 14th Street with the Sunbeam Tiger in pursuit. Both KAOS gunners reloaded their M2s smoothly and continue blazing away. Sparks flew as bullets impacted the Sunbeam's radiator grill and continue strafing off the bonnets leaving white scratches.

"Sometimes it just doesn't pay da wax in the morning!" Max thought as he dodges to the right to draw the fire from a Volkswagen.

"Oh Max! Please be careful!" Ninety-Nine's stricken voice came over 86's earpiece.

"Don't' worry Ninety-Nine!" Max assured shifting gears and cutting in front of a pickup truck and pressing the accelerator to get closer to the DS. "These KAOS agents are NO MATCH for the keen, razor edged reflexes of Maxwell SMART! There is NO CHANCE they can EVER shake me loose!"

The two vehicles roared past a side street, the M2s blazing endlessly. Instantly, a brown 4-door hardtop Buick Wildcat that had been parked there roared to life and surged onto the street and joined the pursuit behind the Sunbeam Tiger. Similarly dressed KAOS agents leaned out of the Wildcat's rear passenger windows with their own M2 submachine guns adding their death song.

"The old back-up-car-behind-your-pursuer trick however," Max said as 9mm NATO rounds hammered his Sunbeam Tiger's bumper "is another thing entirely!"

"Oh Max!" Ninety-Nine cried out into her charm bracelet communicator "Chief! Max needs help now! KAOS has him trapped!"

"Don't' worry Ninety-Nine!" the Chief responded "Fifty-Eight and Forty-Five are already en-route. I'm on my way as well!"

The three vehicles shot down 14th street with the DS and the Buick Wildcat's occupants blazing automatic gunfire at the Sunbeam Tiger in between. Max now could not dodge effectively without risking the submachine gun fire veering off into innocent bystanders. As they approached Park Road Northwest, a buildup in vehicles due to a red light caused the KAOS driver of the DS to veer sharply to the right onto the sidewalk of the Tivoli Theatre sending pedestrians scattering and tearing into the display windows of one of the shops sending glass exploding in all directions before it straightened its course. Max had no choice but to slam over the curb as well to maintain his pursuit and ended up demolishing a pillar before he could steer straight while the Buick Wildcat did the same.

The three vehicles roared down the sidewalk of the theatre bypassing the traffic jam but as the path was barely able to accommodate them, they ended up knocking over parking meters sending the devices flying into the air spilling coins. One uprooted parking meter crashed down onto a brown 1959 Daimler SP250 detachable hardtop, denting the hood and spilling change all over it.

The bored looking white haired man in his 60ties behind the wheel barely blinked as he said to his equally unmoved and bored wife next to him.

"Finally—the city is giving back to the people."

"I'll grab those on this side, you get the other." His grey haired wife next to him said as she opened her purse and reached out the window to get at the coins.

The DS in the lead kept charging down the sidewalk every slightest move of the steering wheel sent the side of the vehicle tearing away chunks of stucco and shattering store display windows. Max was not doing any better as his Sunbeam Tiger shattered the 4th store front window as he tried to keep his vehicle steady. The only positive note was that the narrow confines kept the KAOS agents in both vehicles trapped inside, unable to deploy their submachine guns.

This upside came to an end as they reached the corner and the DS roared out onto the side street again before shooting straight on down 14th Street past the cars at the traffic light along with the Sunbeam Tiger and Wildcat. This brought the gunners in both vehicles front and back out again, reloaded and blasting endlessly.

"Uh Chief." Max said as bullets hammered his bonnet, windshields and bumper "You might wanna tell the State Department da expect a large bill from the Tivoli Theatre."

"Max, the State Department doesn't know we EXIST!" came the Chief's exasperated reply

"Oh!" Max squinted as one of his headlights exploded under a barrage of NATO rounds. "Then maybe you should give LB a heads up."

Despite her concern for Max, 99 continued her surveillance on Benny's Delicatessen from the window of the rented apartment on the second floor across the street. Her hair of the week, was an elegant shoulder-length bob which curled gently at the ends with a fine soft curtain of bangs over her forehead.

They had been fortunate enough to find a unit in the exact right spot for their stakeout at this location sparing her the need for a disguise. Dressed in a brown collarless dress with bishop sleeves, a knee length pleated skirt and a buttoned on scarf at the shoulder, 99 sat at the bay window of the apartment looking through her binoculars while keeping an ear on the developments of the pursuit via her charm bracelet communicator.

Benny's Delicatessen occupied about 2-3 unit space at the corner of a 5 story commercial building. Various clothing, shoes and cafes also lined the ground floor units with offices of various business occupying the 2nd to 5th stories. A wide alley separated the Benny and the building from the next block.

As she listens to Max inquiring on the estimated help from 58 and 45, 99 focuses her binoculars at the storefront window of Benny's Delicatessen and she could already see 2 or 3 customers inside in office wear. Just the beginning of the approaching lunch crowd. Benny himself, a tall jovial, potbellied man in his late 50ties with cropped white hair was behind the long display counter which lined the left wall, making sandwiches and joking with his regular customers. He seemed to fancy himself a chef as he wore the double breasted white jacket of one in that profession, even complete with the tall, round, pleated and starched white hat. Over his chef's outfit, he wore a white apron with the word 'Benny's' in bold yellow and red across the front.

99 tensed as she heard 58 and 45 report that they were still a few minutes away and she ached to leave immediately to help him but knew it would be useless as it would take nearly half an hour to get to his location from where she was. She would have to trust 58 and 45…

Something caught her attention, interrupting her thoughts and she swiveled her binoculars up the street to the opposite corner of the large building where a familiar figure in beige belted trench coat, tan fedora and sunglasses was striding down the sidewalk still munching on a doughnut in one hand and sipping from a paper coffee cup in the other.

"Ninety-Nine to Max and Chief! Ninety-Nine to Max and Chief!" she spoke urgently into her charm bracelet communicator as she maintained line of sight on the quarry. "Something's wrong! Krycek is here! He's approaching Benny's!"

"What?! Are you sure?!" came the Chief's exclamation over the small sparrow shaped charm on the bracelet.

"Ninety-NINE! Would you for-GET about Krycek!" was Max's response as he stamped on the gas pedal and weaved the Sunbeam Tiger about as 9mm NATO rounds sparked a line across its hood adding onto the multitude of white scratches there. "He was the DECOY!"

"But Max if he was, why is he here?" 99 persisted

"He's probably getting LUNCH! Which, by the way, don't forget the spicy mustard for mine!" Max reminded as the Buick Wildcat closed in behind him and the endless roar of the KAOS agents' M2s pounded the Sunbeam Tiger's bulletproof convertible top and rear windshield with 9mm NATO rounds mercilessly.

"But Max, what if the KAOS men you're chasing now ARE the decoys?! It's too much of a coincidence!"

"Don't-be-ridiculous Ninety-Nine!" Max exclaimed as the DS veered sharply to the right past two lanes and slowed down so that the gunner at the left window got a better angle and sent a barrage of NATO rounds at the Sunbeam's front bumper and bullet-resistant tires and tearing loose bits and chunks of asphalt from the road as well. "If Krycek was still carrying the military secrets then why are these guys still trying so hard to kill me?! You think they'd risk riddling the whole of 14th street with bullets and endangering hundreds of innocent bystanders if they weren't carrying the package? I mean, KAOS may be filled with rotten, maniacal, ruthless, manipulative, vicious, crazed killers! But they're not unreasonable!"

"Max, I think Ninety-Nine could be right!" interrupted the Chief. "We've been watching Krycek for a week. It's possible he picked UP on it! The two cars attacking you could just be a diversion! Ninety-Nine!"

"Yes Chief!"

"Proceed to Phase 2! But be careful!"

"Right Chief!"

"Oooookay!" Max said shrugging as the DS pulled away again "Good thinking too Chief!"

"Thanks! We need to cover all grounds! We cannot let KAOS get Project Phalanx!" the Chief agreed

"Plus," Max added as he maneuvered behind the DS while dodging the Wildcat's fire, "I'm getting kinef' hungry and Forty-Five and myself ARE counting on Ninety-Nine da get us our lunch. After all, it's really a drag da get killed on an empty stomach…"

"Max! Would you focus?! "

"Don't worry Chief," Max assured switching gears again and narrowed the distance between him and the DS "I'll be able to cut them off in a few seconds and this new armor plating Professor Carleton invented will stop anything short of a bomb!"

The KAOS agent at the left rear passenger window of the DS put aside his submachine gun and pulled from his trench coat what appeared to be a green metal stick with a cylinder of equal length at one end. His gloved finger pulled out a ring at the side of the stick and he throws the device which arced through the air, spinning end over end towards the Sunbeam Tiger.

Max swerves sharply to the left and as he yanks the steering wheel back to bring himself back on course, a large patch of the road to his right where the Sunbeam Tiger would have been, exploded into a tower of black smoke, flames and flying bitumen.

"Max! What was that?!" demanded the Chief over the T-37

"Would you believe KAOS is helping to repave the streets for free?"

"Max!"

"Okay, then it might have been the RKG-3E Anti-Tank grenade the KAOS agent just threw."

"Max! You have to stop them now before they hurt any civilians!"

"Don't worry Chief—" Max assured

The KAOS agent pulled the pin on another RKG-3E and hurled it. They must have removed the drogue parachute in the grenades as none deployed to ensure the explosive device struck its target at a 90 degree angle. Instead the grenade arced through the air, spinning tip over tip towards the Sunbeam Tiger. Max yanks the steering wheel to the right turning the nose of the car and shooting over onto another lane as another patch of road erupted in a thunderous roar raining asphalt down on his car roof.

"—since they're using anti-tank grenades, there's only ONE thing that can save me and the innocent bystanders!"

"What's that?!"

"A tank for them to use it on."

Another RKG-3E came spinning towards him. Max jammed on the brakes and as the Sunbeam Tiger screeched to a stop, a section of road a few meters before the bumper exploded.

99 kept watch from inside the main entrance of the apartment building as Krycek entered the delicatessen. She then started across the street, her lavender trench coat with 4 buttons in twin columns snugly belted around her while her grey kidskin go-go boots clicked as she walked.

There were at least 4-5 customers busy shopping at the grocery section of the deli comprising of aisles and shelves of exotic, high quality imported meats occupying the entire right wall and more than half of the back wall. 3-4 persons in each were lined up at the long display counter parallel to the left side wall which also featured a large display window looking at the alley. Behind the display counter at the opposite end, at the corner of the back wall was a swinging door which likely led to the kitchen.

99 spotted Krycek in a queue served by Benny himself and the KAOS courier had just one more customer in front of him. She joined the other queue which was being served by Benny's employee, a tall, young fresh faced man in his mid-20ties with neatly trimmed short sand colored hair and a wiry build. 99 had heard Benny address him as Hank. The assistant was not as elaborately dressed as Benny, decked out in a simple white crew neck t-shirt with long loose sleeves and dark trousers but he still wore the uniform apron on top.

Krycek was just stuffing the last of his jelly doughnut into his mouth and sipping his coffee as he waited patiently. While 99 had two customers in front of her, apparently, the lady in front of Krycek had a large order of several sandwiches as well as produce from the grocery section allowing the CONTROL agent to reach the assistant first.

Hank's light blue iris' positively lit up when he saw her giving her a dazzling smile that was in every effect boyish, welcoming and joyous.

"Welcome to Benny's!" Hank greeted with his arms spread over the refrigerated display counter. "Culinary creations from the world at your dee-see doorstep!"

Despite the mission, 99 could not help but nod and smile sincerely back at the young man.

"Hank quit flirting with the young ladies and focus on the sandwiches!" Benny barked at him as he added up the bill for the lady he was serving.

Still maintaining his winning smile and crystal blue eyes at 99, Hank gritted through his grin without turning to Benny.

"I don't tell ya how da serve that model from the Chanel Boutique up the street you lemme serve this—intelligent, sophisticated, sublime creature before me, MY way!" Redirecting his attention at 99, Hank continued. "Please excuse Benny. He thinks he's the only one entitled to a life outside of this counter just because he owns the place and has a—" turns his head to Benny to his right "—MINOR—"turns back to 99 "hand in the recipes for the sandwiches. Now, what can I get you?"

It seemed to be some kind of in-joke for the two as Benny chortled happily as he received his payment from the laughing lady customer as well, instead of chastising his employee further.

99 laughed along, all the while watching Krycek in her peripheral vision as she spoke.

"You have a poet's charm! And you can help me with a few sandwiches please."

"Long as I hope—it's not for you alone." Hank nodded as he prepared his pad and pen.

Laughing softly, 99 listed out the requests she had been given earlier by her fellow agents as Krycek's turn came and he chose the fillings for his sandwich without preamble. As they were both being served, 99 noted through the display window behind the counter, a motorcyclist coming down the road who turned into the alley next to the deli. It had a large box on the back of the motorcycle with a logo on it for 'Fresh Food Express Delivery'. The motorcyclist rode his bike up the alley past the deli's display window, disappearing from view. 99 guessed it was a contractor that Benny used for home and office deliveries of his products. This was confirmed a few moments later when an intercom somewhere behind the counter transmitted the sound of a doorbell, likely from a back entrance somewhere in the alley to the deli.

"Yo Hank! Delivery guys' here!" Benny said, then to Krycek, "Okay, roast beef with salami, pickles and roast chicken. That'll be eleven-twenty. That all?"

"Only got two hands here! Let im' wait!" Hank grumbled as he assembled the smoked salmon sandwich.

"That's it, thanks." Krycek replied as he produced his wallet, finishing off his coffee and placing the cup on the display counter so he could extract the cash.

As Hank kept working and 99 observed covertly, Krycek paid for his purchase and took the paper bag it came in.

"Toss that for me will ya?" Krycek nodded at his coffee cup as he headed to the door.

"Okay, that'll be twenty-five eighty." Hank finished placing the last sandwich into the large paper bag and rolling it shut.

99 thanked the young man as she handed over the bills asking him to keep the change.

"Here you go." Hank handed over the large bag and with another dazzling smile added. "I'd give you a discount but Benny here'll take it out of my pay cheque—"

"You gat that right!" Benny said as checked the cash register.

"—but without any expectations—" Hank continued flawlessly as 99 took the bag of sandwiches. "You'll find your smoked salmon—unique."

"I can't wait." 99 smiled realizing she was blushing slightly.

"Have a great day!" Hank said waved with a parting smile as he headed to the door leading to the kitchen, sweeping up the empty coffee cup from the counter top as he did.

99 proceeded out the door and as expected, Krycek was no longer in sight. And when she was sure, Benny was busy with the next customer, she darted quickly down the alley past the side window of the delicatessen. As she walked towards the rear corner of the block, she reached into the sandwich bag and checked the wax paper binding her sandwich to find, written on it in pen on the underside, the words 'Call Me if you like' with a telephone number. 99 sighed as she kept walking, for under normal circumstances, in a normal life, she would probably have done so.

Reaching the corner, she peered around it into a wide alley that ran down the back of the building. There were a number of back doors but in the nearest one over a 100 feet away which must belong to Benny's kitchen, the delivery motorbike was parked. Hank was standing at the door handing several bags of likely sandwiches and other produce to the rider who placed them carefully inside the box on the back of his bike.

Keeping herself hidden behind the corner but still observing, 99 speaks softly into her swallow shaped charm on her bracelet.

"Ninety-Nine to Chief and Eighty-Six. Ninety-Nine to Chief and Eight-Six, come in."

The DS, Sunbeam Tiger and Buick Wildcat continue racing down 14th street, the KAOS gunners in the vehicles front and aft, maintaining endless barrages of submachine gun fire at the vehicle caught in between them. Max swerved to avoid a station wagon as 99's modulated satiny voice again caressed his ear drum through the T-37 earpiece.

"Uh…Ninety-Nine! This is NOT a good time!"

"Max!" 99 whispered, watching Hank speaking to the delivery rider. "I just left Benny's. Krycek bought a sandwich and left…"

"Did he get the pastrami on rye?" Max asked as 9mm NATO rounds pounded the bonnet and windshield of his vehicle making him veer about to avoid the full barrage. "Cause…if he did, then we can be pretty sure he was really just getting his lunch cause' THAT is a great choice…"

"Max! Listen!" 99 exclaimed as loudly as she dared "I think Krycek handed over the package! And not only that! I think the deli is just another stage in the smuggling ring! There's…"

"Ninety-Nine would you stop!" Max sighed as another RKG-3E, spinning tip over tip came arcing through the air at his windshield. "Just a second…"

Max yanked the wheel and veered sharply to the right and this time, a section of the road exploded into a tower of black smoke and fire again just 5 feet from his rear bumper which tossed the Sunbeam Tiger's rear wheels off the surface for a few seconds.

As the Sunbeam Tiger slammed back down onto all four wheels and Max floored the accelerator again to continue his pursuit, bullets continuing to strike his vehicles from both ends. As thousands of asphalt fragments came raining down onto his car, he spoke again into his T-37.

"…as I was saying Ninety-Nine! Sometimes we can't underestimate the power of a great sandwich recipe and prime location! After all, Benny's is situated at a great place! And everyone, regardless of race, creed and allegiances, including KAOS agents are entitled to go where they think they can get the best bargain! So Ninety-Nine, just get our lunches and keep em warm while I wrap this up.—Right?—Ninety-Nine?"

In the alley, 99 had stopped breathing and froze the moment she felt the icy steel ring press into her the side of her neck on the left, just below her earlobe. She slowly cast her eyes to her left to see the 4 inch heavy barrel of the Smith & Wesson Model 28 with its muzzle against her neck. Beyond the barrel, she could clearly see the blued steel frame of the weapon and the .357 magnum, jacketed hollow-point bullets inside each of its chambers ready to be unleashed. The light brown walnut stock of the Model 28's square butt was distinctively visible between the slits of the long black patent leather gloved fingers gripping them.

But far more chilling was the emotionless, angular, hard face of the owner, framed by the now upturned collar of his belted beige trench coat, his low tan fedora covering his forehead and the sunglasses hiding his eyes. As 99 stayed completely still unable to reply to Max's nasal voice continuing to issue over the communicator, Krycek's other hand reached out and his long gloved fingers grasped her bracelet and she winced as he snapped it off before dropping it to the ground and stomping the heel of his shoe down on it, and grinding it.

"Ow!" Max exclaimed, his finger on his ear piece as he tried to maintain control of the steering wheel with one hand. "Ninety-Nine! You don't have to do THAT just because you're wrong! You really have a LOT to learn bout…hello? Ninety-Nine? Hello? How da you like that?! She hung UP!"

"Max!" the Chief's voice came over the T-37 "I think her communicator was just disabled! I'm on my way over to Benny's now! Fifty-Eight and Forty-Five! Get to Max and back him up! Max! Finish the KAOS men and GET to Benny's!"

"Right Chief!" Max acknowledged and gunned his engine closing the gap with the DS as the KAOS agents continued pouring submachine gun fire on him.

Both Hank and the delivery rider turned and glared as Krycek approached marching 99 along with one gloved hand holding the S&W M28 at her temple and the other gripping her left bicep.

Her hands raised and though expecting it, 99 was still stunned at how completely the boyish, charm disappeared from Hank's visage to be replaced with an icy, hard, merciless mask.

"Scheißen!" Hank cursed throwing up his hands.

"KONTLO ajent." Krycek's now accented and low announced "Gee nose. I zaspected I waz watched. Zo I zet a tlap for the other ajent in the car! I knew zhey would harve another ajent watching zhis place zo I came buck!"

"Vight! Vight!" Hank acknowledged and turned to the delivery rider. "Melden Sie dies dem KAOS-Hauptsitz. Gehen! Schnell!"

The delivery driver nodded, locked the bike's carrier box, jumped on and rode off down the alleyway sending trash flying in the air. Before he turned the corner, the two KAOS agents pushed 99 through the back door.

99 found herself immediately in the kitchen of the deli. The back door was at the left end of the southern wall and across the room was the northern wall which divided the kitchen from the service area of the deli out front. At the right end of the northern wall was the swinging door which she identified as the one leading out to the display counter in front.

"So I guess your name isn't really Hank?" 99 said conversationally as they marched her down an aisle between two long kitchen counters, one along the left wall.

Various types of hams, salami and bacon were heaped on the kitchen counters some wrapped others partially unwrapped for preparation.

"Eets Heinrich actually." the deli assistant said stopping as they reached the middle of the aisle.

99 breathed evenly as Krycek snatched the large bag of sandwiches which she still held in her raised right hand and throwing it onto the kitchen counter on their right before tearing her purse from under her left shoulder and tossed it to Heinrich who caught it even without looking.

Krycek yanked 99 by her left arm to force the small of her back against the kitchen counter on the right while his right gloved hand kept the S&W M28's barrel pressed to her left temple. Heinrich stood facing her, searching through her purse with absolute chilling boredom as he continued talking.

"Und Venny," Heinrich gestured at the door leading to the deli's customer area as he rummaged through her purse. "ees veally Baroyev."

"Look you might as well surrender now!" 99 declared. "You MUST be aware that CONTROL knows about your front and they'll be here any second!"

"Ja, ja." Heinrich nodded uncaringly as he kept searching her purse to produce her over-under double-barreled Derringer pistol as well as her identification billfold. Peering at it, he smirks and looks at her. "Avgent Neinty-Nein? Vhat? No veal name?"

99 lets her breath out slowly looking at the tiled floor without answering just as the door to the front area swings open and Benny or rather Baroyev comes in and storms in their direction.

"Heinrich! Wat tis' taking zo long?! Zare are regulor kostomers out…" he stops upon seeing 99 with her hands raised as well as the KAOS courier. He continues walking but throws up his arms cursing. "Aaarrrgh! Ад!—Krycek! Какого черта здесь' происходит?!"

"CONTLO avgent." Heinrich sighs waving 99's identification at his colleague.

"Я нашел, что она шпионила за вами всех в спину." Krycek added, his gloved gun hand with the S&W M28 unwavering at 99s temple. "Она знает о вашей операции здесь' И о доставке."

Baroyev groans at Krycek's revelation, slapping a big hand against his jowls.

"Aaaarrggh! И мы делали соооо много прибыли в этом капиталистическом предприятии!" grumbles the portly KAOS agent. "И теперь мы должны закрыться и двигаться!"

99's eyes was flicking back and forth from each KAOS agent during the exchange, taking in all that was said and chilled by their apparent indifference to the situation.

Heinrich, his brow furrowed, pondered seriously, left arm crossed over his chest with left hand cupping his other elbow while his right gestured at 99 with an open palm.

"Nachdem ich mich zurückgezogen habe, sollte ich ein Penthouse in der Schweiz kaufen? Oder eine Luxusyacht, um die französische Riviera zu segeln?"

99 squinted at the apparently unrelated matter Heinrich was going on about. Baroyev grimaced uncomprehendingly, staring at Heinrich while Krycek simply glanced over under his dark glasses, his expression unmoving as a statue. 99 continued to be perplexed as she watched Heinrich make a show of continuing his pondering for a moment with his hand still extended at her before looking up at both his fellow KAOS agents, saying.

"Ah! Not fun ees eet vhen you are zhe vun veing escluted! SPRICH englisch!"

Baroyev rolled his eyes and slapped the air in front of him in Heinrich's direction.

"Zhis flaant must be clozed." Krycek declared "Now, bevor KONTLO gets here."

"Da! Da!" Baroyev agreed "Heinrich! Ju giv zer korier Krycek's infomation?"

"Ja." Heinrich said lifting the empty coffee cup from the kitchen counter he was leaning against and as he turned it, 99 confirmed what she had suspected.

"Orite! We go! Krycek ju hep Heinrich pack!" Baroyev instructed

"Her?" Krycek asked "Tie her up? Kill her? No mattar wat, KONTLO noze about us."

99's blood ran cold and her breath caught in her throat as Baroyev shrugged his fat shoulders.

"Az you say. Det or alive, KONTLO knowz. Zo—Det! One lezz KONTLO ajent iz alwaz battar."

99 couldn't' stop herself from gasping as Krycek's gloved thumb locked back the hammer of the M28, producing the precision mechanical clicks that froze her blood. She squeezed her eyes shut, holding her breath sparing her final thoughts for Max, her mother and the Chief!

"Wat-tar you doing?!" Baroyev exclaimed causing 99 to open her eyes and breathe momentarily. "Zilenzer! I huv regular kostomers out zhere!"

"Vhat does eet matter? Ve are clozink for gut!" Heinrich exclaimed incredulously.

"Da and we dunt' want the politsiya here bevore we are gone! Alzo—I vant to get zhem on my mailing list!" Baroyev declared "Zoo you know how much money we huv made vrom this kapitalist venture alone?! Whan we zet up zum where else later, we can maintain zer kostomer base!—" Baroyev turns to 99 and spoke amicably "—wan has to plan vor wanz retirement. You understand."

99 shuddered as she heard Krycek hissed angrily.

"My zilenzer iz in my pocket. Wan ov you do it. Quickly!"

Heinrich with his arms still crossed, cocked his head to one side appraising 99 in a way that cocooned her entire spine in ice, again extends an open hand palm up towards her as he asked.

"Puttink aside zhe fact dat ve are enemees—duz she look like a Frau who vould ever go out vith me?"

"нет." Baroyev and Krycek chorused flatly.

"ZAT I undershtood." Heinrich nodded before shrugging again, lifting up both hands palms towards the air sighing. "Vine! I'll do eet. I'm vehind qvota anyvay. I havent' killed an armalikan intelligenz oparative zince dat NSA agent three veeks ago.—"

99's heart pounded with fear though at the same time she could not decide if she should be offended at their presumption of her nature or shocked at their absolute nonchalance about the whole matter. It became worse as Heinrich pulled from his back a Smith and Wesson model 10 revolver with a threaded 4 inch barrel devoid of a front sight and began screwing on a suppressor he took from his pocket, smirking sheepishly at her as he worked.

"—She vouldnt' go out vif me eizher."

"Right! Lats gez going! I deal wiz last kostomerz and cloz up flant. You two get zharted here!" Baroyev spoke happily as he headed for the door to the deli's customer area.

The cold muzzle of the S&W M28 remained pressed to 99's left temple as she watched Baroyev walk to the door and Heinrich turning the suppressor while he held the M10 at waist level before his midriff. He was still turning the suppressor when the swinging door closed behind Baroyev.

Before the door even closed entirely, 99 inhaled and her raised left hand lunged up with trained precision and clamped down on the S&W M28, her index finger jamming in between the cocked hammer and the frame as she yanked the weapon and gloved hand that held it, to the left away from her temple, at the same time turning to her left to face Krycek and her right fist exploded into his face. As his head bobbed back and forth, dark glasses flying off and blood spurting from his nose, 99 thrusted sideways with her right leg at waist level at Heinrich who was still blinking in shock as he tightened the suppressor on his revolver. 99's flat boot heel slammed first into his M10 before driving it with brass knuckle effect, backed by the power of her quadriceps and hamstring, into his solar plexus.

Heinrich's eyes popped, his mouth gaped, air rushing out as his lower back slammed into the counter behind him with a force that shook the entire length of it. As he doubled over and collapsed onto the kitchen floor in the fetal position on his left side, 99 turned back to Krycek, feeling the hammer of the M28 snapping continuously on her index finger as he pulled the trigger repeatedly as if trying to cut her finger off. She punched again with her right, maintaining her breathing as she moved. Even with blood pouring from his nose over his lips, Krycek's grey eyes remained cold and focused and her slashing arm ran into his left forearm block and his long glove fingered hand clamped onto her forearm like the taloned feet of a bird of prey.

99 did not stop but immediately spun her right arm counter-clockwise and Krycek's gloved hand was twisted into an angle incapable of maintaining the grip. Wrenching her arm free, 99 brought it sweeping back at shoulder level in a whistling knife hand strike that slammed into Krycek's neck right below the ear.

The light went out of his grey eyes and as his knees buckled and he sagged to the floor in an unconscious trench coated heap, 99 grabbed the Model 28 with both hands, freeing her bleeding index finger and rotated counter-clockwise, prying the revolver from Krycek's slipping gloved fingers, to face Heinrich on the floor. The weapon was heavier than any handgun she ever handled and she had to grip the square butt with both hands as she pointed it down. At that moment, Heinrich who had turned partially onto his back raised his silenced S&W Model 10 at her from the floor.

99 squeezed the trigger and the S&W M28 roared and kicked in her hands sending the .357 magnum JHP round smashing into Heinrich's chest, disintegrating his heart and shattering his spine just before it exited his back in a fountain of blood, bone fragments and spinal fluid before it continued into the floor. As Heinrich jerked and slumped lifeless, 99 spun levelling the Model 28 at the door to the deli's serving area just as Baroyev burst in responding to the shot with an S&W Model 15-2 revolver levelling at her and the sound of their guns was a singular roar.

The KAOS agents leaning out of the rear passenger seat windows of the DS kept the extended telescoping steel rod stocks of their Vigneron M2 submachine guns pressed to their shoulders and their gloved fingers jammed down on their weapons' triggers maintaining the continuous barrage of 9mm NATO rounds back at the pursuing Sunbeam Tiger. Max was beginning to have trouble seeing through the windshield which though bullet proof was beginning to sustain white scratches from the continuous ballistic onslaught. The Sunbeam's rear bumper, bullet resistant convertible roof and rear windshield was not doing well either as the KAOS gunners in the pursuing Buick Wildcat kept up their attack just as efficiently, closing in on him.

Max and the DS veered past a station wagon enabling the momentary change in angle for the KAOS gunners to blast the right side passenger window glass of the Sunbeam Tiger and practically scratched it to zero visibility. As Max straightened his course with the Wildcat Buick close behind, he spoke into his T-37 again.

"Fifty-Eight and Forty-Five! Where are you two?!"

58 yanked his steering wheel right and left as he bypassed a pickup truck on another street only to jam on the brakes as he was boxed in by a bus.

"Eighty-Six! The traffic is murder!" Fifty-Eight exclaimed into his own T-37, finger pressed to his earpiece.

"No, bullets from sub-MACHINE guns are murder!" Max exclaimed as he veered sharply to the right and shot past a bus to keep the DS in sight. "Like the ones that are HITTING ME!"

"Eighty-Six it's not much better on my side!" 45 exclaimed as she swerved, to the right turning into another street and began weaving in and out among the vehicles to bypass them. "It's almost gridlock here! Just hang on for a minute or two!"

Max spun the steering wheel to the left as another RKG-3E came arcing towards his hood, spinning end over end and a second later a column of black dust and fragments of asphalt rocketed into the air just behind him to his right. The shock wave nearly shook the Sunbeam Tiger out of control.

"I have a feeling these KAOS agents are in a HURRY!" Max exclaimed fighting for control of the car amidst the asphalt rain.

His grip on the steering wheel knuckle white, Max looked ahead to see them quickly nearing a left junction. Sparing a look in the rear view mirror at the pursing Buick Wildcat, Max stated.

"Fifty-Eight, Forty-Five! I'm making my move! Junction of 14th and Colms! I'm deploying Professor Carleton's Anti-Hand Grenade Mechanism!"

As the KAOS agent at the rear right passenger window kept firing with his M2, his colleague at the other passenger window pulls the pin on another RKG-3E grenade and sends it flying towards the rear at the nearing Sunbeam Tiger.

As the device spins tip over tip, arcing towards his windshield, Max presses a button on the armaments panel on the dashboard labelled "Anti-Hand Grenade Mechanism". Immediately, on the center of the Sunbeam Tiger's hood, a vertical rectangular panel slides aside laterally and from the recess under it, a silvery anthropomorphic robotic arm with a five fingered hand reaches out, its elbow joint pointed forward and palm facing up. Its upper arm and forearm each consisted of twin square steel struts with a circular rotor-hub like joint serving as an elbow.

As the spinning RKG-3E falls towards the Sunbeam Tiger, the robot hand reaches up, servos whining softly and catches the grenade by its handle.

"Good job!" Max says and presses an oval black button on the armaments panel labelled "Smoke Screen".

Two small square panels on the Sunbeam Tiger's rear bumper slides apart each revealing a muzzle the size of an exhaust pipe cones of black smoke shoots out.

"Святые дымы!" The mustached KAOS agent driving the Buick Wildcat yelled out just before their vehicle was smothered in billowing black smoke turning their entire world black.

He swerved about trying to get clear of the smoke but Max matched his maneuvers keeping them blanketed in the billowing black cone.

"Now!" Max yelled

The robot hand tossed the RKG-3E into the hand, flipping it in the air before catching the handle again in an underhand grip before pulling back and snapping forward, hurling the device.

The RKG-3E shoots back at the DS like an arrow, its explosive cylinder head leading. The KAOS submachine gunners had just enough time to blink their comprehension of what was happening before the grenade smashes neatly through the rear windshield of the DS.

Instantly, a ball of fire immolated the entire interior of the DS and its four doors and windows blasts outwards while its roof went upwards all riding at the edges of the expanding fire ball from the RKG-3E's detonation. The burning and smoking remnant of the DS continued to move on fiery tires, slowing just as it reached the junction and Max floors the accelerator shooting the Sunbeam Tiger past the burning DS to swerve into the left turn of the junction.

The KAOS agents in the Wildcat Buick kept cursing at the billowing black cloud they were engulfed in while demanding whether the explosion was the CONTROL vehicle. Just then the black smoke cleared and they all yelled out seeing the now stationery flaming wreck of the DS ahead. The driver slammed on the brakes but it was too late. The Buick crashed into the rear of the wrecked Citroën DS, causing both vehicles to come to a stop right at the center of the junction. Steam shot out from under the bent hood of the Wildcat as vehicles began diverting around them to continue down 14th street.

"I TOLD you not to take 14th street!" a young woman in a black skirt suit in the back seat of a cab yelled at the driver as they pulled past the wrecked vehicles. "This is the SIXTH CONTROL and KAOS car chase here this month!"

"Lady nobody likes a back-seat driver okay!" the portly cab driver responded, lazily turning the steering wheel with one hand while his left arm was draped over the driver's side window.

Max pulled the Sunbeam Tiger in a U turn and headed back the way he came, dodging past the cars in the street that had stopped or slowed due to the pileup in the junction. He managed to get to the front and stopped right at the intersection, perpendicular to the wrecks less than 30 ft away, front bumper pointing towards the left side of the DS. On the other side of the main street was a row of luxury clothing shops and restaurants.

Unfortunately, all 4 of the KAOS agents in the Buick were not incapacitated though their vehicle was neutralized. Upon seeing their quarry, they immediately jumped out of their car, weapons in hand, the driver and the left side rear passenger KAOS agent firing their weapons first as they were on the side facing the Sunbeam Tiger seemingly without being affected by the extreme heat and smoke of the burning DS wreckage at the nose of their vehicle.

Max jumped out of his vehicle, pulling his 5 inch barreled Colt Official Police from his shoulder holster and crouching behind the car door for cover. 9mm NATO rounds from the KAOS agent's M2 submachine gun struck the right door window pane and the windshield along with bullets from the driver's Makarov PM as both of them tried to get to the other side of the Buick for cover. Max managed to fire twice hitting the front left tire of the Wildcat making the driver jump onto the hood and rolling over it to the other side. The other KAOS agent, M2 submachine gun blazing was moving sideways to the rear of the vehicle. He took a second to see where he was going and the stream of bullets from his M2 veered more to the Sunbeam Tiger's windshield giving Max the chance to snap a quickly aimed shot. The Colt Official Police's .38 Special hollow point slammed into the KAOS agent's chest knocking him back against the trunk of the Buick before dropping him lifeless to the street. But now, Max was forced to duck for cover as the other KAOS agents now out of the vehicle on the other side and effectively shielded began firing over the trunk, roof and hood. The KAOS agent who had been in the front passenger seat, mirrored aviator sunglasses shrouding his eyes beneath the brim of his fedora, held the solid wooden stock of a rifle like PPSh-41 submachine gun with a 71 round drum magazine to his shoulder, black patent leather gloved finger holding the trigger. The weapon's fluted barrel was steady as the muzzle flashed and roared continuously sending an endless barrage of 7.62 mm Tokarev rounds at the Sunbeam Tiger along with the remaining M2's 9mm NATO rounds.

Max kept his head down behind the scratched bullet proof window pane of the door and fired twice round the window edge. It did not deter the KAOS agents or their fire at all. Max ducked lower and yelled at the still extended robotic arm.

"It's just bullets! Do something!"

The robotic arm swivelled, palm facing the KAOS vehicle and the PPSh-41 wielding agent with the anthropomorphic device reflected in his mirrored aviator glasses focused his fire accordingly. Sparks burst out over the robotic limb, shaking it violently and the M2 gunner added his fire. The sparking arm turned its palm towards Max, waved with its metal hand and retracted back into its recess and the lid slid shut over it.

"Well thanks a LOT!" Max exclaimed ejecting the empty cartridges from the cylinder of his Colt Police Official onto the street and began reloading "So much for all that extra work oiling you three times a day!"

58 stops at a junction connecting to 14th street on the right realizing he could not get onto the main street as the traffic flow had stopped to a crawl. He gets out and runs to the intersection, looking back and forth and sees the wrecked KAOS vehicles down the street to his left about 200 yards away. Drawing his S&W Model 10-6 with a 4 inch heavy barrel, he runs down the sidewalk towards the conflict.

45 on another side street leading to 14th street gets to the intersection but faces the same dilemma as the vehicles on the main street had virtually stalled and some were u-turning to get away from the gun battle that she could hear from where she was. Jumping out of her car, she ran to the front to look and found the gun battle down the main street to her right about 100 yards away. She sees also 58 trying to get to it from the opposite direction but he was still far away. Max was pinned down as the KAOS agent's poured submachine gun and semi-automatic pistol fire at him.

Running back to her car, she grabbed the Beretta M12 with a 32 round magazine from the passenger seat and runs down the sidewalk towards the conflict. The sidewalks were almost empty now as pedestrians had ducked into the shops and restaurants for cover. 45 held the M12 at her side running at full speed past the vehicles on the street, the lower half of her belted trench coat flying apart exposing the ebony blur of her powerful thighs as she closed the distance between her and the conflict.

Max manages to fire twice but his shots end nowhere near their targets. The KAOS driver crouched at the front right wheel, turning to the right as he ejected the empty magazine from his Makarov. Unfortunately as he slapped home a new clip and released the slide, he looks up to see 58 running along the sidewalk towards them. He shouts to his compatriots as he fires in 58's direction. The bullet hits a shop window as 58 runs past it causing him to duck his head and two more shots hits the door of a perfume shop but he keeps running. Unfortunately, Mirrored Sunglasses turns in his direction as well, the running CONTROL agent sighted on his mirrored lenses. With the PPSh-41's stock still pressed to his shoulder, the massive muzzle flash of the weapon heralds an endless barrage of lethal 7.62mm Tokarevs. 58 had no choice but to dash for a door ahead of him as 7.62mm rounds strafed the sidewalk in a line towards him and he shoulders open the door just in time, diving into a dress shop, yelling for the occupants to get down. The large display window explodes into a thousand shards of glass as the shop girls dropped behind the counter and displays. 45 still running now less than 30 yards away, not wanting to risk being seen dashes out into the street and continues running around and past the slow moving vehicles.

As the remaining M2's shots slammed against his car, Max takes a chance to fire repeatedly at the two agent's shooting at 58. His shots struck the windshield and hood of the Buick making the driver turn back and began firing in his direction. Max had no choice but to duck back into the Sunbeam Tiger, breaking out the cylinder of the Colt Police Official and ejecting the cartridges onto the seat to reload. The KAOS agent with the M2 locks in a new magazine and dives into the back seat of the Buick, closes the left rear door and uses the window as a better vantage point to continue pouring fire across the street into the Sunbeam while the driver crouched next to the front right wheel and Mirrored Aviator Sunglasses standing behind him, both blasted endlessly down the street to their right with pistol and submachine gun, demolishing the clothing shop. Inside, 58 crawled over the carpeted floor as mannequins and dresses on them exploded continuously raining him with shards of wood, plastic and bits of fabric. He manages to get to a sales girl who squatted in a corner behind covering her brunette head against the falling debris. The destruction of the dress shop's front reflecting in his mirrored sunglasses, the KAOS agent shifts his PPSh-41 with its muzzle flashing endlessly, to send bullets deeper into the shop's interior. Risking being hit, 58 gets to a crouch and grabs her pulling her with him as they ran towards the more secure sales counter out of the angle of fire just as the mirror where the girl had been hiding next explodes under a barrage of Tokarev rounds.

45 ducks out from behind a slow moving van and dashes to get within safe range of the KAOS agents. She runs two to three car lengths, opening up the side folding metal stock and thumbing the selector switch to full-auto. As she was about to clear the traffic with the rear bumper of the Buick Wildcat just 15 feet away, a red 1964 Eldorado Biarritz Convertible with the top up attempted a U-turn cutting into her path and stops when it was completely sideways to her as it realizes it was too near a Volkswagen on its left effectively boxing her in. The KAOS agent in the Buick continued blasting with his M2 at the Sunbeam Tiger scratching the windshield so badly all visibility was obscured while Mirrored Sunglasses and the driver both their backs facing the rear of the Buick, maintain their barrage at the dress store 58 was hiding in.

Not wanting to waste time circling the vehicles or risk giving up her element of surprise with the KAOS agents currently distracted, 45 presses the stock of the M12 to her shoulder and grabs the fore-grip as she leaps up onto the Eldorado, her flat heeled ankle boots drumming the hood. She keeps low thrusting her long legs out before her to drop onto her right buttock. As she slides on her right hip across the hood using her momentum, her trench coat dragged back by the motion exposing her dark quadriceps and hamstrings all the way to the high hem of her mini dress, along with the triangle of white fabric just under it wedged between her adductor muscles, her index finger squeezes the trigger of the M12.

"Watch the paint lady!" the bespectacled, balding middle aged driver of the Eldorado yelled as the CONTROL agent slid across his car's hood.

Mirrored Sunglasses convulsed back arching and arms flying outwards along with the PPSh-41 submachine gun as the M12's 9mm Parabellum rounds shattered his back and blood fountained from the multiple exit wounds erupting through his chest. He topples forward and crashes down onto the driver who was crouched in front of him facing the same direction both hitting the street in a tangle of limbs just as 45's boots hits the asphalt and continued running, M12 still pressed to her shoulder and blazing.

45 holds the trigger of the Beretta M12 and at full run, with the stock kicking into her shoulder, swings her fire just a few millimeters to the left. 9mm Parabellum rounds rocketed into the rear windshield of the Buick which exploded and the KAOS agent inside convulsed with multiple star shaped explosions of blood erupting from exit wounds as 9mm rounds shattered his upper body along and tore the interior of the car to shreds. The flying cushion fragments and stuffing absorbed the spraying blood in mid-air before dropping onto the rear seat and floor of the Buick in soggy crimson patches.

The M12's bolt locks back just as 45 reaches the Buick's rear bumper and she immediately ducks into a crouch behind it, pressing the magazine release while pulling out another clip from her trench coat pocket while the driver, rolling Mirrored Sunglasses' body off him, grabs the fallen PPSh-41 and puts it to his shoulder, advancing towards the rear of the car, bent low and aiming at the Buick's rear.

"Forty-Five! Look out!" Max yells, now standing behind the open door of his car and his Colt Police Official flashes several times, aiming at the windows of the Buick hoping to hit the driver on the other side through them.

But the driver kept too low and moved too fast. 45 locks home the new clip and releases the bolt chambering a round and in the crouched position lifts the M12 to aim just as the driver turns at the rear of the car, muzzle of the PPSh-41 levelled down at her and 45 knew neither of them would live through this.

A single shot from another direction echoes through the air and the driver jerks as a welter of blood explodes from his right deltoid, causing his gloved hand to slide from the PPSh-41's grip and he sags down onto the seat of his pants on the road, the submachine gun clattering on the street next to him.

45 stands, M12 aimed at the driver who sits there holding his wounded arm. In her peripheral vision, she sees 58 running towards them, his S&W Model 10-6's muzzle smoking. She maintains her aim at the KAOS driver as she kicks the PPSh-41 away from him.

"It's over." 45 says to the enemy agent as 58 arrives and Max comes trotting over, pushing his Colt Police Official back into his shoulder holster.

The mustached KAOS driver, blood pouring over his black patent leather gloved fingers groans

"Что за день!" before promptly slumping completely onto his back on the street and continuing to groan.

"Alright Fifty-Eight! Call this in to CONTROL Central for a fire truck, an ambulance and an escort." Max instructed.

58 keyed handed Max a sheet of yellow paper before he holstered his S&W M10-6 to key his T-37 and put the earpiece in place. Upon Max's inquiry, 58 replied.

"It's your op. Bill for damages from the store I took cover in."

Max's eye's popped and jaw dropping, exclaimed as he looked at the document.

"Four THOUSAND dollars?!" With a sigh and grimace, 86 tried to reason it out. "Well, I guess they did have their store destroyed cause of us."

"This is Fifty-Eight to CONTROL Central. This is Fifty-Eight to CONTROL Central, come in CONTROL Central." 58 spoke into his wrist communicator and clarified for Max at the same time. "That's just for the dresses that got shot up. They'll be sending a separate bill for structural damages."

"FOUR THOUSAND dollars for DRESSES?!" Max's eyes returned to popping and his jaw to dropping.

"They'll have da get in line with the Tivoli." 45 sighed shaking her head keeping her M12 aimed at the groaning KAOS man but spoke more urgently over her shoulder at Max. "Shouldn't' you be checking on Ninety-Nine?"

Still scowling and grumbling at 58 and the bill, Max pulled the earpiece of his T-37 from his sleeve and put it to his ear.

"This is Eighty-Six to Chief. This is Eighty-Six to Chief. Come in Chief."

"This is the Chief." came the basso voice over the communicator earpiece.

"Chief! Max here. We have the situation under control. Seven KAOS agents are history and we have one captive for questioning."

"Alright. Good work to all of you." The Chief acknowledged.

"Chief! What about Ninety-Nine?" Max asked "Is she ok? Did you get to Benny's on time?"

"Yes Max—" the Chief replied into his own T-37 communicator from inside the kitchen of Benny's Delicatessen.

All around him a group of CONTROL agents were carefully searching the place. Four agents carried body bags containing Baroyev and Heinrich out the back door to the alley while another two led away a handcuffed Krycek with cotton wool stuffed up his nostrils. 99 sat on a chair near the southwestern door, her lavender trench coat draped across her lap and her left hand holding the right side of her ribcage while another agent sat with her bandaging her right index finger.

"—I'm speaking to you from Benny's now. Ninety-Nine is okay, some minor injuries but we'll be sending her to the CONTROL doctor soon as we can. Benny or Baroyev it seems, and his assistant are dead and we have Krycek. Our men are searching the deli as we speak and I have teams moving in on the other four locations and following up a lead that Ninety-Nine provided."

"That's great Chief. Could I talk to Ninety-Nine?"

"Sure, hold on." The Chief said walking over to 99 but a shout caught his attention.

"Hey what's fifteen paying customers gadda' do da get some service here?!"

The Chief saw the speaker, a short fat man with thick black framed glasses draped in an opalescent grey silk suit, custom tailored to hide his obesity standing at the northeastern door leading out to the front area of the delicatessen. Fuming at this unnecessary disruption to their search operation, the Chief quickly removed his wrist communicator and handed it with the earpiece to 99.

"Here, Ninety-Nine it's Max…"

99's face lit up taking the communicator as the Chief stalked over to the door to confront the meddlesome customer.

"Hello Max!" 99 greeted pressing the earpiece into her ear canal and holding the communicator to her lips.

"We've been waitin out here for two hours bud!" the fat man exclaimed at the approaching Chief.

"And we TOLD you two hours ago that this deli is closed!" the Chief growled "You and the other customers will need to get your lunch someplace else."

"Listen pal, this place sells the best pastrami on rye in D.C and Michelin would give it six stars if it had chairs, tables and table cloths…"

"Do you understand what is happening here?!" the Chief exclaimed "We are government agents and this deli is now the scene of a classified government investigation!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the fat man flapped a fat hand at the Chief. "What you actually said is, 'YOU and your cronies are paid from every tax-dollar that the government collects, making ME—a hardworking American taxpayer—YOUR boss! So—back to what I was sayin—Michelin class pastrami on rye, fifteen of them…"

"Beansprouts on mine! My mom says I need da have them!" someone shouted from the counter area.

"Okay kid! Okay!" Fatman shouts over his shoulder "And the paperboy wants his with beansprouts, which kinef defeats the purpose of a pastrami on rye but he's not MY son."

Feeling a migraine he believed could only be triggered in the presence of 86 coming on, the Chief focused his eyes on Fatman with laser like intensity born of years of training, steely discipline and iron self-control.

"This establishment is closed for a government investigation. Now get out."

The Chief turned but Fatman's voice yanked at him like a lasso on a steer during round-up time.

"Not without our pastrami on rye, one with bean sprouts we're not."

Spinning back to face the taxpayer, the Chief stated flatly in a voice rimmed with unmovable authority.

"Leave this premises immediately, or I will have you and every adult out there in handcuffs and you will all spend the next ten months in a jail cell, without bail, waiting to be trialed for obstruction of a government investigation."

As the Chief finished his ultimatum and burned his gaze into the customer's chubby face, the Fatman grinned and chortled softly, dropping his head and shaking it slowly like a parent would when his child said something funny. The Chief was about to call his men when Fatman lifted his head, eyes still cast on the floor as he spoke.

"Yeeeeah—you can do that. But just so you know, me and seven of the adults out here are senior partners in the third largest law firm on the east coast and we're ALL golfing buddies with—" Fatman lifted one fat fist and counted off on his fingers as he spoke "—the attorney general, the Chief Justice and SIX justices of the U.S Supreme Court, the Secretary of Defense AND somebody you might know by the first names—L-B?—" Fatman paused cocking his head sideways and gazing dramatically up at the ceiling "—which reminds me. Me and my seven senior partner friends out there are supposed to be at a private dinner at the White House in two days with L-B and Claudia. Lyndon's been DYING to continue our discussion from our last dinner together just last week, about…um…what was it…"he flicked his fingers in the air pretending to have trouble recalling the issue. "…oh yeah! Covert government agencies, their excessive shadow budgets, ZERO accountability and actually just an American Gestapo…"

The Chief's eyes narrowed with predatory intensity, arms stiff at his sides knowing he would strike the man down if he moved now.

"…Yeah! Anyway—" Fatman seemingly snaps out of his reverie and looks jovially back at the Chief "—I'm sure L-B and Claudia will understand I missed their dinner because of said-covert American Gestapo, so you can go ahead and arrest us, cause frankly, I think you'd look GREAT in a janitor's uniform, sweeping up trash after hours at our offices."

The Fatman stands there beaming, one hand in his trouser pocket, waiting and the Chief, his razor gaze never leaving his opponent's smug visage ordered.

"Agent Thirty-Four!"

A dour faced agent in a dark suit and tie and fedora looks up from searching some counter cabinets and walks over.

"Yes Chief."

Tilting back his head, puffing his chest out and with absolute, unquestionable authority, the Chief orders.

"Fifteen pastrami on rye sandwiches, one with beansprouts."

"Right Chief." 34 nodded without expression and walked out past Fatman to the display counters.

"Thanks bub and keep up the good work!" Fatman said mock saluting the chief and walking off saying over his shoulder. "I might just tell Lyndon he's ALMOST not wasting money on the intelligence community!"

All the Chief could do was sighed, looking down at the floor, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, feeling 60 years older.

"So you're SURE you're alright?!" Max's baritone nasal voice repeated over the ear piece.

"Yes Max, I'm fine." 99 assured, an irreversible smile lighting up her sublime visage at the sound of his voice "Just lacerations on my finger and probably a bruised rib or two from Baroyev's bullet. Thank god for the bullet proof panels in my trench coat."

"That's good! That's very good Ninety-Nine!" Max nodded eagerly

"For me. The coat has a hole in the outer lining now. It's a really nice coat." 99 mused

"Oh don't worry bout that, I'm sure Professor Carleton'll have a replacement for you just like it." Max assured.

"Max. So…you were worried about me?" 99 asked keeping her voice low and casting her face down to keep the other agents from hearing.

"Well of course Ninety-Nine!" Max exclaimed "Why, I was worried SICK when your call got cut off!"

"Really Max?!" 99 asked, her smile widening and eyes lighting up, throbbing pain in her ribs fading to a memory.

"Absolutely!" Max declared "Why if anything happened to you, I wouldn't' have been able to ask you something of the utmost importance!"

"You can ask me now Max!" 99 gushed

"Good because I cannot wait any longer!"

"Yes Max!"

"From the moment your call was cut off and I thought something might have happened to you, I had NOTHING but this one thought, this one singular all-consuming question in my mind that has been driving me insane!"

"Yes Max!"

"This is absolutely crucial!"

"Go ahead Max!" 99 nodded eagerly pushing the earpiece so hard into her ear it almost hurt

"Ninety-Nine—"

"Oh Max, I lov…"

"—did you get my half-pastrami, half-corned beef on rye, English mustard on the side, fruit-salad and large black coffee, extra sweet?"

99 sighed, smile turning upside down, grimacing as she stared ahead shaking her head in dismay—and oh yes, the pain was back.

*Thanks for reading everyone! The next three chapters are thankfully shorter.

Sorry for the questionable German and Russian dialogue. For non-German and Russian language speakers (myself included) here is a translation, courtesy of Google Translate. Readers who do speak the languages, do let me know in the reviews if the translations are seriously way off. If it's really bad, I'll cut down on the usage of non-English languages in future writings.

Heinrich upon seeing Krycek with a captured 99 in the alley:

"Scheißen!"

Shit! or crap!

Heinrich to the KAOS delivery rider in the alley.

"Melden Sie dies dem KAOS-Hauptsitz. Gehen! Schnell!"

Report this to KAOS headquarters. Go! Fast!

Baroyev, Krycek and Heinrich's conversations in the deli kitchen regarding 99's capture:

Baroyev: "Aaarrrgh! Ад!—Krycek! Какого черта здесь' происходит?!"

Aaarrrrgh! Hell! - Krycek! What the hell is going on here?!

Krycek: "Я нашел, что она шпионила за вами всех в спину." "Она знает о вашей операции здесь' И о доставке."

I found that she spied on you all in the back. She knows about your operation here. And about the delivery.

Baroyev: "Aaaarrggh! И мы делали соооо много прибыли в этом капиталистическом предприятии!" "И теперь мы должны закрыться и двигаться!"

And we made sooo much profit in this capitalist enterprise! And now we must close and move!

Heinrich [angry at being excluded as they were speaking in Russian] : "Nachdem ich mich zurückgezogen habe, sollte ich ein Penthouse in der Schweiz kaufen? Oder eine Luxusyacht, um die französische Riviera zu segeln?"

After I retired, should I buy a penthouse in Switzerland? Or a luxury yacht to sail the French Riviera?

The driver of the Buick Wildcat during the car chase when hit by the smoke screen.

"Святые дымы!"

Holy smoke!

The driver of the Buick Wildcat again, this time after he is shot by 58 and slumps onto the pavement.

"Что за день!"

What a day !