Band Of Brothers

I don't own Phineas and Ferb, Dan Povenmire and Jeff 'Swampy' Marsh do.

I do, however, own this version of Human!Perry and Agent M (Molly the Mouse).

Idea suggested by igbogal.

…

If there was one thing Perry liked to do on his day off, it was spend time with Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, his first love and girlfriend. They walked, hand-in-hand down the street, each of them clutching an ice cream cone. Perry couldn't remember if he'd ever had ice cream before. Lawrence Fletcher always said that it was bad for platypi to have ice cream, so he felt ecstatic when he handed over the dollar to pay for ice creams. So ecstatic, in fact, that he had practically giggled like a little girl after tasting the chocolate, frozen cream; with Vanessa rolling her eyes and giggling at her boyfriend's behaviour.

Perry licked the chocolate ice cream, trying to understand what Vanessa was talking about. "And so she was like, 'Oh no, you di'int!' and I was like, 'Oh, yes, I di'id, and-"

"You know," Perry interrupted, staring at his ice-cream thoughtfully. "As an agent, I have been trained to jump from high buildings and survive, to be able to stomach bad food, and to be very sneaky; especially around my host family. But I think the one thing no one can train me for, one thing I will never understand, is teenage gossip." He looked to Vanessa, raising an eyebrow. "Seriously, who did what?"

Vanessa stared at him before smiling. "Perry…" She started, amused.

"But seriously! Who is 'she' and what did she do?" Perry asked, sounding just downright confused, and actually a little worried. "And…can I 'teach her a lesson she won't forget'…?"

Vanessa giggled. "Perry, you're supposed to be the good guy."

"I am the good guy! I'm just a good guy who wants to protect his girlfriend." Perry replied. "There's nothing wrong with that, is there?" He asked, almost innocently.

Vanessa smiled and shook her head. "Nope." She rested her head on Perry's shoulder and the two linked their arms together.

Perry sighed happily. This was perfect. The day was warm and clear and he had his Vanessa. No silly schemes, no teasing about his new relationship and no missions. Just he and Vanessa. Perry heard a cracking noise as Vanessa ate the waffle cone, indicating that she'd practically finished hers. Perry glanced at Vanessa and spotted a little flaw on her face. "Uh…Vanessa?"

"Hm?" Vanessa asked, lifting her head from Perry's shoulder.

"You have a little ice cream…" He trailed off, pointing to his own mouth to try and tell her where the ice cream was.

"Oh," Vanessa said, almost in alarm and reached up to wipe it from her lips.

Perry smirked, an idea popping inside his head, and gently grasped her wrist. "Here," He said smoothly. "I've got it…"

Vanessa smiled, realizing what he meant, and muttered, "Oh, Perry…"

And Perry pressed his lips to hers in a kiss.

…

Ferb walked down the street. His step-brother Phineas was at the park and said that he would meet up with Ferb in an hour, so Ferb was just killing time. Perhaps Ferb should visit Isabella and the other Fireside Girls at the Fireside Girl Lodge, check up on them. Or perhaps he should help his father with cleaning the garage. Ferb looked up and his eyes widened at what he saw.

Perry Platypus, the man with the platypus-themed suit and teal hair; someone who Phineas had grown to respect highly, was holding Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, the centre of Ferb's universe, in his arms. Her head was tilted up and his was tilted down.

They were kissing.

Ferb couldn't believe it. Didn't Perry know about his crush on Vanessa? Surely, Ferb mentioned it to him, he could've sworn he did! His head lowered and he turned and walked in the direction he came from; back home.

…

Perry's lips were gentle, like they always were, against hers. Perry truly didn't know how far Vanessa wanted to take this kissing thing; so he was as gentle as he possibly could be. She seemed to like it, so he supposed he did well. Once pulling out of the kiss, Perry licked his lips. "Hm…Strawberry." He mused.

Vanessa laughed and tucked her head under Perry's chin, wrapping her arms around his neck. Perry smiled in bliss, then allowed his eyes to open and saw a familiar head of green hair. Ferb. Noticing Ferb's slumped position, Perry's eyes widened. He'd seen them. Perry and Vanessa. Kissing.

Perry had had his theories on Ferb's affection for Vanessa, and all of them had led to the fact that the British boy was very fond of her. Perhaps as much as Perry was. Perry saddened.

What had he done?

…

Perry was quiet for the rest of his date with Vanessa. She'd tried to make conversation with him, but he had only muttered replies. What had he done to poor Ferb? Why hadn't he seen how the Brit felt about Vanessa?

Perry couldn't take it anymore. He got up from his seat on the bench.

"Perry?" Vanessa asked.

"I'm sorry, Vanessa, but there's something I've got to do!" Perry exclaimed, then sprinted down the street.

"Perry!" Vanessa called, but he didn't turn back. The teenager sighed. What was wrong with her Perry? What did he need to do? Vanessa let out another sigh.

…

Perry sprinted down the streets of Danville. He knew that, if he didn't apologize to Ferb now, the guilt would eat him up inside. Perry stopped outside the Flynn-Fletcher residence and reached for the doorknob. He stopped when he remembered something: he didn't live with them anymore. Clearing his throat, he knocked at the door.

"I've got it, Mom!" He heard a boy's voice call. The door opened and Phineas stood in the doorway. "Hello?" He smiled widely. "Perry!"

"Hello, Phineas." Perry knelt down so he was eye level with the excited redhead. He ruffled Phineas' hair. "How're you?"

"I'm great, Perry!"

Perry smiled. "That's good. Is, uh, is your brother in?"

"Ferb? Yeah, he's up in our room. But he's kinda sad. I don't know why though." Phineas replied, his brow creasing.

Perry gulped. Great, he'd made Ferb sulk in the bedroom.

"Phineas! Who's at the door?" A woman's voice called from the kitchen.

"Mom! It's Perry!" Phineas replied.

"Oh, hello, Perry!"

"Hi, Mrs. Flynn!" Perry called to her, standing up. "I just need to talk to Ferb." Perry said to Phineas. "Then I'll go."

"But…don't you wanna hang out?" Phineas asked.

"Sorry, Phin, but I've, uh, left my lady behind."

Phineas gasped. "Perry, you have a girlfriend?"

Perry smiled proudly, as though having a girlfriend was some sort of accomplishment. Well, in the eyes of Major Monogram and Carl, it was. "Yep. She's great."

"Wow, cool!"

Perry sent Phineas another smile before side-stepping him and heading toward the stairs. Once he reached the top, he glanced at all of the rooms. Which one was Phineas and Ferb's again? He knew one led to Linda and Lawrence's room. The one with the window that overlooked the backyard was Candace's room; identified by the sign that read CANDACE'S ROOM. Perry knew not to go in there. If Candace didn't like him going in there as a platypus, then no way would she want him in there as a human. Besides, what would Vanessa do if she found out her boyfriend was in another girl's room? Probably pummel him to death. Perry gulped. Vanessa was Perry's world, but, sometimes, even he was afraid of her. Particularly when she got angry.

"What're you doing here?"

Perry blinked and turned to the frowning redhead. "I'm, uh, looking for Ferb."

Candace gestured down the hall with her thumb. "He's in his room."

Perry nodded. "Thank you."

Perry really needed to work on the relationship between he and Candace, at least get them up to friends. Oh, well. He'd do that later. He walked into the direction that Candace had gestured to and could sense the look Candace was giving him. The agent stopped outside of Phineas and Ferb's bedroom door, but didn't knock. He waited.

Candace stared at her brothers' platypus friend a little longer, before letting out a little 'hmph' and entering her bedroom. Perry raised both eyebrows. Hesitantly, he knocked on the door. Getting no reply, he grasped the doorknob and turned it, opening the door and stepping in. "Hey, Ferbooch." He greeted.

Ferb was laying on his bed, on his stomach, his head tilted to the side.

Perry sighed. "Ferb, can we talk?"

Slowly, Ferb nodded.

Perry shut the door and walked over to Ferb's bed, sitting down. Ferb was dressed in his yellow pyjamas, despite it still being day. Perry sighed. This was going to be difficult. "Ferb…I know you saw me and Vanessa…kissing."

Ferb didn't react, but Perry knew that it broke the boy's heart to hear that.

Perry rubbed his face with his hands. How was he going to do this? "Listen, Ferb, I'm sorry. I truly am. If I'd known how you truly felt about Vanessa, I would've backed off a bit. Guess I'm as oblivious as Phineas, huh?" He joked, but Ferb didn't laugh. Nor smile. Perry's smile faded. "Look, I know this will be hard to hear, but…Ferb, you're a kid and she's a teenager. She needs to date someone…her age…" Perry said gently, hoping to get his point across.

Silence settled between them. Perry waited for Ferb's reaction. Hopefully, the boy wouldn't be too upset. Perry wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he truly hurt Ferb, or Phineas for that matter. Finally, the silence was broken, "The feelings were not returned, were they?"

Perry blinked at Ferb's question, mainly because it had been the first thing Ferb had said in quite a while. Nevertheless, Perry slowly shook his head. "Vanessa does care about you Ferb…but not in the way you like her…"

"She likes you." Ferb said, though his voice didn't sound as bitter as Perry would've thought.

"I like to think so." Perry smiled.

Ferb sighed through his nose and sat up. Perhaps things would be better this way. As long as Vanessa was happy, Ferb was happy.

"You're a remarkable young man, Ferb," Perry said, ruffling the boy's hair. "And, one day, you'll find a girl who'll love you so much. Then, when you're married and have, like, five kids, you'll look back and say, 'Gee, Perry was right'."

Ferb smiled at Perry. He leaned over and hugged the man in thanks. Perry hugged Ferb back. "If it makes you feel any better, Ferbooch, I'll take good care of her. And, if I do make her unhappy, I give you full permission to beat me up."

A small grin appeared on Ferb's face and Perry laughed. "So, when the idea of beating me up comes to mind, you get happy? That's charming."

The two hugged once more.

"Now, I've gotta go. There's one more thing I need to do." Perry said with a smirk, ruffling Ferb's hair again.

…

Charlene Doofenshmirtz sat on the armchair, a book open on her lap; her eyes fixed onto the printed words. She heard someone knock at the door to her home and bent the corner of the page, then closed the book. Placing it on the coffee table, she got up and walked over to the door. Pulling it open, she smiled. "Hello, Perry."

Perry smiled, hands behind his back. "Hello, Miss Doofenshmirtz. Is Vanessa in by any chance?"

Charlene nodded. "She's up in her room. Come on in." She stepped out of the way and let Perry enter. "Would you like a snack, Perry?"

"No, thank you, ma'am. Just came to see Vanessa. Lovely house, by the way."

Charlene smiled gratefully. "Why, thank you, Perry."

Perry smiled to her and found the stairs. Once he reached the top, he looked around. So many doors…One of them belonged to Vanessa's room. Perry tried the door to his left. Nope, that was Charlene's room. Perry tried the room opposite Charlene's. Nope. Bathroom. Perry frowned. He tried the door next to the bathroom. Bingo.

Vanessa sat at her desk, her back to him; laptop open in front of her. She was busy typing away, having not noticed Perry.

Perry smiled and was about to call her name, but stopped. What was that thing people did to surprise their love? Ah, that was it. Perry crept over to her and stood behind her. Good, she hadn't heard him. He smirked and leaned down, placing his hands over her eyes. "Guess who…" He muttered smoothly.

What Perry didn't notice, however, was that Vanessa had her earphones in, therefore unable to hear him. And when she noticed a pair of hands go over her eyes, she did what her father had taught her to do: she fought back. Quickly, she stood up, knocking the chair back into Perry's legs, and swung her fist around; right into Perry's face. Perry yelped and fell to the ground, a throbbing pain in his cheek. Vanessa had a scowl upon her face, that is, until she saw whom she had punched. "Perry!"

Perry rubbed his cheek as Vanessa knelt down beside him. "Perry! Are you ok? Are you hurt?"

"No, no, I'm ok." Perry said quickly. "I'm ok, I'm ok. Although, my training never prepared me for being punched by my girlfriend."

"Are you sure you're ok?" Vanessa asked, placing her hands on his shoulders.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Perry lied. When Vanessa shut her eyes and sighed, Perry let a pained expression across his face, but when Vanessa opened her eyes again, his calmed expression was back. Vanessa took hold of his arm and pulled him up, then sat him on her bed. She placed a hand on the cheek she had punched. She was about to speak, when Perry's eyes narrowed in concentration at her laptop screen. "…Perry is such a jerk…" He read off the screen. He turned to her, raising an eyebrow. "Are you gossiping about me?"

"I was mad, ok?" Vanessa crossed her arms, frowning. "You just ran off without a explanation!"

"I said I had something to do…"

"Not good enough."

Perry sighed. "Someone important to me was down in the dumps, so I had to cheer them up."

Vanessa raised an eyebrow, and Perry quickly added, "And, no, I do not have another girlfriend. It's ok."

Vanessa scooted closer. "Good." She hugged his arm, resting her head on his shoulder. "So, are you going to tell me who was upset?"

"Ferb. You know Ferb, right? Green hair, British, doesn't talk much."

"Yeah, I remember him. What was wrong with him?"

Perry blinked. He wasn't sure how Vanessa would react to Ferb having a crush on her. "Uh…Let's just say it's guy stuff."

"Right…" Vanessa said, dragging out the word. She got up and sat back in her chair, then typed and clicked away again. Perry watched, then smiled.

"What a nice picture you have of me for your desktop."

Vanessa blushed, staring at the picture of a grinning Perry, surrounded by black hearts, on her desktop. "You weren't supposed to see that…"

Perry laughed. Vanessa turned to him, smiling and raising an eyebrow. Suddenly, she jumped out of her chair and jogged over, then jumped onto him.

"Whoa!" Perry exclaimed as the force of Vanessa's jump knocked him onto his back; with her landing on top of him. She smiled at him slyly, then leaned down and kissed him softly. The agent kissed her back, cupping her cheek in one hand. Just when they were putting all their passion into their lip-locking, they heard someone clear their throat. They opened their eyes and their lips slowly parted.

"What's going on in here?" Charlene asked, but she had a smile on her face with her arms crossed.

"…Nothing." Both teenagers said in unison.

Charlene laughed. "Just thought I'd tell you I'm starting up dinner, so you're welcome to stay here to eat, Perry."

Perry smiled widely. "I would love to have dinner with you guys!"

"Oh, no…" Vanessa muttered, burying her face into Perry's chest to try and hide her blush of embarrassment.

Both Charlene and Perry chuckled. "It's ok, Vanessa." Charlene said to her daughter. "I won't tell that many stories about you when you were little."

"Only the embarrassing ones…" Perry mumbled. Vanessa raised her head, then hit her boyfriend on the arm.

Charlene laughed and shook her head, then exited the room.

Perry smiled at Vanessa happily. Vanessa raised an eyebrow, smirking. "What are you planning?"

"Nothing. Just want to know what you were like when you were little."

Vanessa smiled. "Only if you let Major Monogram or your old owners tell me about you when you were little."

Perry sighed. "I'm gonna regret this…" He reached into his coat and brought out a folded piece of paper. He held it between two fingers and passed it to her. Vanessa sat up and Perry covered his eyes with one hand, waiting for the embarrassing comments.

Vanessa unfolded the piece of paper and immediately smiled, realizing it was a photograph of a baby platypus. The tiny monotreme had big, brown eyes that looked in opposite directions. Vanessa bit her lip to try and contain her giggles. "This is you?"

"That's me. That was when the Flynn-Fletcher family first got me. Picture was taken by their dad. That was when I first started out at O.W.C.A."

"O.W.C.A?"

"Organization Without a Cool Acronym. Carl likes to say that our motto is: We don't have a cool acronym." He paused. "…That's it." There was silence, then he spoke again. "You can keep that, if you want. I don't mind…Just, uh…Don't show it to Doof. I'd never hear the end of it…"

"Wouldn't dream of it." Vanessa said, laying back down and snuggling into his side. He wrapped an arm around her.

"…You're so totally gonna show that to Doof, aren't you?"

"Yep."

"Oh…!"

…

There was a knock at the door and Linda dried her wet hands on a dishtowel. She walked out of the kitchen and over to the front door, opening it. It was late at night and even Candace had gone to bed. She smiled at the visitor. "Hello, Perry."

Perry smiled at her, clad in teal pyjamas; white triangles and rectangles decorating them. Under his arm, he held his, neatly folded, suit. "Hi, Mrs. Flynn."

"Perry!"

Linda looked over her shoulder as Phineas ran over, arms stretched out toward Perry. He stopped inside of Perry and let his arms fall to his sides. "Perry! You made it!"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Phin." Perry replied.

"Made it to what, exactly?" Linda asked, feeling a tad left out.

"Ferb and I invited Perry to the Monster Movie Marathon tonight. We're gonna watch all our favourite horror movies in the living room." His smile faded and a worried expression became his face. "Didn't we ask permission?"

Linda thought over the day's events. Woke up, listened to Candace telling her about a date she had with Jeremy, Phineas- Ah, that was it. He did ask permission for a movie marathon. She remembered saying yes and she also remembered him asking if Perry could watch them with he and Ferb and, when she had said "As long as it's ok with Perry,", he took off; sprinting over to the phone and calling his friend. Linda remembered his large smile when Perry had said yes.

"Yes. Yes, you did." Linda replied, and Phineas' smile was back. "Ok, sweetie. You, Perry and Ferb have fun. Just keep it down, ok? Your father and I have to get up early tomorrow."

"Ok." Phineas nodded.

Linda turned to Perry. "Help yourself to any snacks, Perry."

"Thank you, Mrs. Flynn." Perry said, nodding.

Linda sent the two another smile before entering the kitchen to finish the washing. Phineas turned to Perry and took hold of his free hand, pulling him over to the living room. "C'mon, Perry!"

Perry chuckled at the boy's enthusiasm. When they entered the living room, Perry spotted Ferb on the couch. Perry waved to him slowly and Ferb waved back. And, laying on the arm of the sofa, was Perry the Platypus. Or, rather, the Perry-robot Agent M was operating. Perry stared at it. The 'pet' was asleep- or the robot equivalence to sleep. Is that really what I looked like when I slept? Perry thought.

Phineas, having noticed Perry's gaze, began to worry. "What's wrong, Perry? That's our pet, Perry. See," He brightened. "You have the same name!"

Perry seemingly ignored him and kept an intent gaze on the 'sleeping platypus'. "Perry?" Phineas asked. "Are you ok? I thought you liked platypi."

Perry kept his gaze on their 'pet' as he spoke, "Let's just say I have a past with a platypus." As a platypus, he corrected himself in his head.

"Is it sad?" Phineas questioned, and that question sent a pang to Perry's heart.

"Depends on how you look at it." Perry replied.

Despite not understanding the meaning to this answer, Phineas saddened. "Oh. I'm sorry, Perry. We can take him elsewhere if he's making you uncomfortable."

"No, it's alright, Phineas."

"Are you sure? I don't want your feelings to be hurt."

"No, it's ok. I don't wanna disturb his slumber."

Phineas' smile came back. "That's what I like about you, Perry! You're such a good guy!"

"That's not what some people call me…" Perry muttered, but Phineas had heard this.

"But you'd never hurt anyone, Perry! Especially not us!"

Perry looked at Ferb. The British boy smiled. "No." The boy said. "He wouldn't hurt us."

Perry smiled softly, then rubbed his hands together. "Ok, let's get this marathon started!"

Phineas smiled and led Perry over to the couch. "We're watching Frankenstein first!"

"Ah, Frankenstein. Love it." Perry said as they sat on the couch; Perry in the middle, Phineas on the right and Ferb on the left. "In fact, I wonder what happened to Frankenstein's brain…"

"Frankenstein's brain…" Phineas repeated thoughtfully, then turned to them with the widest smile he'd ever had. "Ferb, Perry, I know what we're gonna do tomorrow!"

Perry laughed, recognizing the catchphrase. "Yes. Yes, you do."

…

When Linda Flynn got up the next morning, she had grumbled about getting up early. Honestly, who got up at half-past four in the morning? Not her. Unfortunately, she had to for a convention she and her husband were going to. Oh, well. Candace was able to take care of the boys while they were gone. And, if not her, then Perry could. Perry had been a miracle ever since she'd met him. He looked after the boys when she or Lawrence or Candace could not, and he didn't mind a bit. In fact, he was more then happy to. And, every time Perry so much as entered the room, Phineas would jump to his feet and run over to him, hugging his leg and tugging on his hand. What it was Phineas liked so much about Perry, Linda didn't know. But there was something about him Phineas liked, and that was good enough for her.

So, clad in her pink nightgown and adorning a head of knotted hair, she made her way downstairs. Lawrence was in the kitchen, reading the newspaper from yesterday (he hadn't been able to read it, as he was too busy with work) and drinking some coffee. Linda heard a shrill scream emit from the television and she walked into the living room. "Boys, have you been up all night-" She stopped when she allowed her heavy eyelids to open fully. "Lawrence, come and see this."

Confused, and a little concerned, Lawrence made his way into the living room and paused at what he saw.

Perry sat on the middle cushion of the sofa, his head back. He was asleep, proven by the snores coming from him. To his right, Phineas was asleep, laying on his side, using Perry's right thigh as a pillow. To Perry's left, Ferb used his left thigh as a pillow, laying on his side as well, his breathing calm. And, between Perry's legs, sat their pet platypus by the same name, sound asleep. Perry had his hands on Phineas' and Ferb's shoulders, as though he was protecting them.

Lawrence smiled softly at the sight. "What a nice band of brothers…"

"Yeah," Linda agreed softly. "What a nice band of brothers…"

…

Author's note:

This…came out differently then expected…

The idea igbogal originally gave me was Ferb finding out about Vanessa and Perry. I don't know where that last bit came from, but it sure was nice to write.

Must've been sad for Perry when he saw the Perry-robot. Still, he's got a good life now, so he's ok.

Oh, Phineas, how I love you so.

I'm the same with teenage gossip. Even though I'm a teenager (and a girl for that matter), I still have no idea what most girls at my school say. Curse you, Today's Grammar!

Hope you liked this! The ending bit was my favourite.