Farewell in Heaven
Hiya! Well, its been a long time since I made a fic… hmm... This does not have a really happy ending… hehe… was just depressed these past few days so I decided to write this story… so if you don't want to read an unhappy fic you have a chance now to go… but if you're up to the task then enjoy… =)
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN Sailormoon and all its characters… I'm merely borrowing them for my story…
In addition, I do not own all the songs included here in my story…
Chapter One: Depression (Usagi's POV)
As I, alone, walked through the empty streets of Tokyo on a cold rainy night, memories of a love that was once near to me came flooding my mind just like the raindrops falling on the ground.
My mind drew a picture of the ill-fated day when we were together. His slender hand crossed against mine. His raven black hair moved with the cold night wind. My really long blonde tresses followed behind me. We leaned against the railings of a small bridge and from there; we stared upon the wonderful starry sky. Our laughter died into silence as the moon revealed itself. Unexpectedly, he took hold of my face and stared at me with his deep black eyes. He told me that he was given a chance to fulfill his dream of studying abroad. He asked me if it's ok and of course, I said yes… Who am I to say otherwise? I'm just his girl… even if it hurts… if it would make him happy… I tried to fight the tears that were attempting to fall but I couldn't help it. Drop by drop they fell from my eyes. I remember completely how his kiss felt that day… How he wiped the pain-stricken tears away from my eyes… and how his embrace felt warm, engulfing me into a deep dimension of love and contentment… yet anguish remains…
The rain slowly turned into drizzle. My location was not that far away from my house and it was getting late so I started heading home.
I reached a familiar entrance and opened it. My soaking wet body made its way through the elevator, into my apartment and lastly, into my bed.
Our picture stood still atop of my desk. I tried to put up a weak smile but my mind was not responding. The more I try to hide it…the more it resists.
I would do anything just to hear his voice again… even once… I miss him so much! My heart being broken into pieces day by day… I plunge into an endless darkness…
"I remember how your smile can heal my pain whenever I feel sad… please… I need you now… more than ever…"
I let myself drift into a deep sleep. It was, now, my favorite thing to do… so I could dream of him as much as I want… hoping that soon enough he'd comeback…
The warm spring heat brought me to consciousness. It was Saturday so I didn't have to worry about getting late.
Getting out of my bed was not my option. I decided to stay lying there. I didn't want to go out. I was not even hungry. I just wanted to be alone…
Kring Kring The phone rang and woke me up from my profound thoughts.
I lazily stood up and answered it.
"Mushi, mushi. Who's calling?" I asked.
"Hi Usagi! It's me, Rei. Prom night's this Saturday. Do you wanna go shopping?"
"Thanks but I'm not going to the prom, maybe next time. I'm just not in the mood. Sorry."
"I see. Umm… Usagi, are you ok?"
Silence
A small teardrop slowly slid from my eye.
"Hey. Are you still there?"
"Uh yeah. Still here… I'm alright." I lied.
I didn't want her to worry.
"I know you're not. It's obvious. Please don't hide it anymore. I know you're hurt because of him… Mamuro… I have to go now. Please be happy."
"Thanks Rei. I needed that." I hung up and returned to my bed.
Mamuro, you were supposed to be my prince on the night of my prom. You promised we'd dance all night. You promised we'd take out food from my favorite bistro and eat it under our favorite spot at the park. But all these are fading away. Why won't you call me? Why won't you answer my messages? I'd understand if you're busy but how would I know with out you telling me?!! I'm looking like a jerk already! How long would you let me wait…?
My tirade finally ended although I know it could go on forever. My eyes were really swollen, my nose was runny and my body was weak. It has been almost a month since he left but my depression now was worse than ever. Music always calms me down, I thought.
I indolently stood up and switched open my radio then I went to the bathroom to wash my face. Exhausted as I was, I chose to make one more stop at the kitchen to get a glass of water. I returned to my room but before I reached my bed, I heard a very familiar melody. I dropped my glass of water. They were playing our song…
++flashback++
It was Valentines Day; also our first anniversary. As a gift, I secretly got his favorite watch and paid good money for it could be engraved with our names. He told me that his surprise was soon to come.
I dressed up for our date. My hair was at its usual style. I wore a light pink halter dress with matching pearl earrings and bracelet.
We were supposed to meet at a fancy French restaurant at seven thirty pm. I opened the door of my apartment hoping that I won't be late fort his special night. To my surprise, he was at my doorstep with a smile on his face.
"Happy anniversary!" He kissed me.
"But I thought we will meet at the restaurant?"
"Well, I told you I had a surprise for you so this is it. The restaurant was just one of my plans to keep you expecting." He laughed but quieted when he saw me frown.
"Just joking!" I t was my turn now to kiss him.
I handed him the neatly wrapped box with my gift inside it.
"What is this? You didn't need to get me a gift." Slowly he tore the wrapper and opened the box.
"Usako, this is my watch! I thought I lost it!"
"Happy Anniversary" I got the watch and turned it over so he can see the engravings.
"It's wonderful. Thanks." He removed his old watch and replaced it with the one I gave him.
"Now it's my turn to give you my surprise. My car is just downstairs. Let's go." He smiled and escorted me to the elevator.
When we got to his car, he stopped me from getting in and blindfolded me.
"What is this for?" I asked.
"It's for your surprise! Don't worry I'm right by your side."
He assisted me inside of his car and heard him close the door.
"Mamo-chan?" I waved my hand hoping I'd touch him.
"I'm here. I told you not to worry. I promise we'll be there soon."
All throughout our drive, he never let go of my hand and I liked that. It made me feel safe…
"We're here." He let go of my hand and I heard him went out of the door.
He assisted me again going outside of his car and removed my blind fold. His hands quickly went around my eyes creating darkness once more. A cold breeze blew making me shiver.
"Ready?" He asked.
"Yep!" I quickly answered back.
He slowly uncovered my eyes. My eyes widened as I saw the marvelous view.
We were at an old parking lot overlooking the whole city of Tokyo. There was a small walkway with rose petals scattered over it. Lastly, there was a table for two complete with candlelight, wine, and a single red rose as a centerpiece.
"So, do you like it?"
"Like it? Oh no! I Love it!" I hugged him tight and kissed him.
"I only got your watch engraved. Sorry if its nothing special."
"It's really fine and Usako, you've been giving me your love. That's more than I can ever ask for."
He led me to the table and pulled a chair for me. We ate and drank contentedly with each other's company. We kissed, we laughed the night out.
"Glad to see you're having fun."
"Uhuh. I don't want this time to be over."
"Actually, my surprise is not yet over." He stood up and went to his car; opened the trunk and pulled out something that I couldn't make out because of limited light.
He went back, finally making me see what he was holding.
"A guitar?"
"Yup. I never told you I could play. Hehe. I heard a song from the radio and it reminded me of you… of us… So I thought I'd play it for you tonight. I haven't played the guitar for a while now and I'm not good in singing so forgive me if I'm sloppy." He scratched his head and started strumming.
When we turn out the lights
The two of us alone together
Something's just not right
But girl you know that I would never
Ever let another's touch, come between the two of us
Cause no one else will ever take your place
No one else comes close to you
No one makes me feel the way you do
You're so special girl to me
And you'll always be eternally
Every time I hold you near
You always say the words I love to hear
Girl with just a touch you can do so much
No one else come close
And when I wake up to
The touch of your head on my shoulder
You're my dream come true, oh yeah
Girl you know I'll always treasure
Every kiss and everyday I'll love you girl in
Everyway and I always will, cause in my eyes
No one else comes close to you
No one makes me feel the way you do
You're so special girl to me
And you'll always be eternally
Every time I hold you near
You always say the words I love to hear
Girl with just a touch you can do so much
No one else come close
His song ended with the final strum. Tears of joy now filled my eyes...
"Happy anniversary Usako" He grinned at me but that grin turned into a frown when he saw me crying.
"What's wrong? Didn't you like it?"
I quickly wiped the tears of my eyes and moved closer to him.
"Ie. It was wonderful. Those were tears of joy." I held his hand.
"I never want to lose you…"
His arm found its way to my shoulder and his free hand found its way to my face.
"Me neither. Here…" He took out a black box from his pocket and handed it to me.
"What's this?" I asked as I reached for the box.
"Open it."
I opened the small package. Inside was a gorgeous silver necklace with a crescent moon for a pendant.
"Mamuro, it's beautiful." He took the necklace from my hand and placed it on my neck.
"Now, my surprise is complete. But all these are simple things that won't last forever. The food we just ate will be digested. The wonderful view will perish in the morning. The necklace might be lost. This night will soon be over. But I promise you, no matter how each and everything changes, my love for you will never perish."
I felt his arms moved around my waist and his head lay on the hollow of my shoulder.
"I love you…" Mutually, we said.
@---8---- End of flashback @---8----
My body was shaking with pain and anger… anger to the world… anger to him… anger to my self…
I have to hold on, I thought.
I have to be strong somehow…
-_-_-_-_-_-
That's the end of the first chapter! I told you this was pure angst! Don't say I didn't warn you! Lol! So what do you think? I know it's not great but I hope you do appreciate it…=)
Preview for the next chapter: Usagi's 18th birthday is fast approaching but as the day comes close, evident changes have been taking place. Finally, the day has arrived and Usagi receives the worst gift she could ever get… a dreadful reality caused by her depression. Still Usagi's POV… still angst… =)
I can only express myself with my pen and on the stories I write…. I've always been alone… alone in my own dream world… happiness… but when I wake up in reality I see only pain… The light I once had disappeared…altered by an endless darkness… still waiting… still wanting someone to light me back again…