Disclaimer: I wish I owned these guys because that would make me very rich; however, I do not, so I am sad.
Author's Note: Not really sure where this came from… If you don't like it that's cool, but at least it made me smile.
'Some say the truth is a dangerous place to be…Well, I'd rather take the truth than the lies…or so I thought. It all started out innocently enough, a cute guy in Special Ops downstairs from Legal, which is where I work. Too bad for me, I didn't stop to check his file, maybe if I had I wouldn't be in this mess…
'Well, anyways, we started dating…Heero Yuy was his name and mine is Aya Campbell. Oh, boy, do I wish I knew then what I know now. Unfortunately, I just found out that my boyfriend is an ex-Gundam pilot, which could explain why I'm sitting handcuffed in a concrete cell. Some neo-Earth wanna' be martyrs decided that I would be a good target and conveniently my boyfriend of two YEARS forgets to tell me that this might happen…Oh, is he dead when I get out of here…'
Aya looked up at the security camera that was in the dark cell with her. She smiled sadistically at it and mouthed, 'I will kill you all, just wait.' She figured that if she was stuck there for the time being she might want to unnerve them just a tiny bit. A lovely thought popped into her head and she began singing 'Itsy Bitsy Spider' at the top of her lungs, completely off key. 'The next song is "It's My Birthday and I Can Cry if I Want To",' she thought.
She wasn't sure how long she had been there, but she was pretty sure it had been at least three days. Her watch had been removed, by the people dumb enough to kidnap her, before she woke up and they weren't feeding her on any kind of a schedule for her to truly know how long she had been there. She figured eventually someone would be dumb enough to open the door and she would get to try out some of those snazzy moves her boyfriend's best friend, Duo, had taught her.
Duo had been teaching her martial arts and street fighting for the last seven months. The only thing he asked in return was that Heero never know about it. He wanted it to be a surprise… 'It's gonna' come in handy when I get my hands around that jerk's throat,' she smiled as she launched into a rendition of "It's a Small World After All."
Aya heard a small click of a key turning in a lock and she stood up quickly. 'One, two, and…' There was blinding light as three men ran at her. Before they could touch her three shots were fired and she saw the men drop to the ground. She smiled as she saw Duo behind them. "Hey, punk, where's my idiot boyfriend?"
Duo smirked, "I convinced him that you might be a little upset at seeing him right now, so he decided to take the role I normally take and set up bombs around the perimeter. You should see him…When he found out they grabbed you it was hilarious. I have never in all my life seen him that pissed off. Oh, he threw a vase through your vidscreen... I honestly think you're not going anywhere alone for a loooong time." Duo turned his head slightly to the side and grimaced, "he's screaming in my ear to know whether we've found you yet or not."
Aya smiled evilly, "tell him that I'm near death."
"That's just evil…I like it." Duo opened up his mouth to relay the message and frowned, "he just told me that if I don't reply that you're okay in the next thirty seconds he's blowing up the base." He pressed a small button on his audio-communicator, "hey, I've got the chickadee and we're moving to safe location."
"He knows he's dead meat right?" She smiled sadistically, planning all the ways she would hurt him. She was also planning her defense; she was, after all, on the legal team that got all Preventers agents out of trouble. They were the best at what they did.
"I would say he deserves it, but he really has been freaking out trying to find you. We all have, as a matter of fact. I still can't believe the calm and collected, Heero Yuy, has worked himself up this much over anybody." Duo smirked as they took off down the hallway.
They turned down another hallway and Aya smiled, if felt good to know that someone had missed her. No one really ever had before. A gunshot was heard and she felt a blazing pain in her left arm. "Fuck!" Duo returned fired and the assailant was shot between the eyes. "This sucks…," she whispered as her eyes began to water.
Duo grabbed her arm, "let me see it!" He pressed the button on the audio-communicator again, "chickadee's been hit, level three on the Oh Shit Scale."
"Level three on the Oh Shit Scale?"
Duo smiled, "yeah that was a code I used in the war. Level one is a light graze, level two is a through and through in a non vital area, level three is a bullet lodged in a non vital area, level four is a through and through in a vital area, level five is a bullet in a vital area, and level six is Oh Shit."
She gave him a weird look as if to ask if he realized how strange he was before she was being tackled from behind. "Damn it! The next time I tell you to get her out, get her out!" She looked up and Heero was lying on top of her firing behind him. As the gunshots stopped he grabbed her up and set her on her feet, frantically searching for the bullet wound. His eyes were wide with fear as he asked, "baby, how bad is it?"
She rolled her eyes, "asshole…"
Heero smirked, "so it's not that bad."
"Can we just go home?"
Duo smiled, "I don't know why she's so anxious to go home, I mean I already warned her she wasn't going anywhere alone for a while and then she cusses at you…She's lucky to see daylight again before she's forty." Heero smirked and nodded, confirming Duo's suspicions.
They snuck the rest of the way out without incident and jumped into a waiting jeep with Wufei at the wheel. "Damn, onna, always got to get into trouble."
Aya smacked him upside the back of the head, "damn, man, always got to be trouble."
Heero smirked and tended to her gunshot wound. She turned to him, "Yuy, the next time you forget my birthday I seriously advise you not to try and kick me out of our apartment, so you can organize a last minute party…I was so pissed off at you that I didn't notice they were following me. I also advise you to not lie to me about anything else ever again or I will shoot you! It won't be in a nice place either!"
Heero looked at her with the most serious expression he could muster and deadpanned, "so I should have told you that my first time was with Duo in the backseat of a jeep five years ago?" She gaped at him and he leaned forward and kissed her nose.
Duo meanwhile gaped at him as well, "dude, that's not a cool joke at all. Don't let Hilde hear you say that, she would be really upset that she didn't get to see it and then I would have to listen to it, even if it's not true..."
Wufei, behind the wheel, smirked, 'Nataku, my friends are crazy, but at least I have some now.'