Say you're sorry
That face of an angel comes out
just when you need it to.
"I'm sorry", he whispered.
Jacob stared at me, his entire expression apologetic. His dark eyes I had found myself so drawn to were swimming with different emotions.
Guilt.
Sorrow.
Pity.
He knew I hated that. I could see he tried to mask it, but I knew well enough to see through it.
Damn pity. Everyone, everywhere wore that mask. They could say they knew how much it hurt me, that they were sorry for me.
When in reality they didn't have a fucking clue.
Everywhere.
Emily & Sam's wedding.
After I phased.
When my father died-when I killed him, even though everyone denied it.
After Sam broke up with me.
When Emily announced she was pregnant.
The day Jacob imprinted on the demon leech spawn.
Now.
As I pace back and forth all this time
'cause I honestly believed
in you
Holding on; the days drag on
Stupid girl
I should have know, I should have known.
We were in a meadow. Our meadow. Where we had shared so many precious nights.
Where he had murmured promises, vowed his love, said he would never hurt me. And yet; here we were.
I didn't say anything. There was nothing left to say. I hated him, simple as that.
But most of all I hated myself. I hated that I had fallen for him.
Hated that I had allowed my heart to open up.
Hated that I could have prevented it, and now it was happening all over again.
I hated that I loved him, that I just can't hate him.
I had honestly believed in him.
After he imprinted he hurried to swear he loved me, that he would fight the imprint, would break it-
for me.
Stupid girl.
I should have known that he would be too weak. That the imprint would be too strong.
That I was foolish to hold on to that sliver of hope even after he surrendered.
I should have known.
That I'm not a princess.
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.
Now it's too late for you and your
white horse
to come around.
I glared at Jacob and turned to leave.
He grabbed my hand and I snatched it away, flinching.
"Leah, please. I'm sorry!", he pleaded, his voice filled with sorrow.
I just looked at him with pain and defeat in my eyes.
Then I ran.
When I had been with Jake, I dreamed I had finally found my prince;
I was finally the princess.
God, I was never so wrong.
But now, I know that he isn't my prince and I'm not his princess.
It will be Renesmee he leads up the stairwell
Not me.
This isn't Hollywood.
Definitely not a fairytale.
This was La Push.
Everyone would know and the fucking pity would still be there.
He let me down, and that shattered the already broken pieces.
Baby I was naive.
Got lost in your eyes.
I never really had a chance.
My mistake I didn't know to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings;
Now I know..
I was so fucking naive, to think fate had gone easy on me.
I loved his eyes and how he would make me melt with just one look.
I should have seen that he would imprint one day.
It was my mistake.
He had to fight to even be able to ignore the imprint pull.
I should have realized then that it was hopeless.
So much dreams broken..
All my happy endings destroyed.
The tears overflowed.
They wouldn't stop.
That I'm not a princess.
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.
Now it's too late for you and your
white horse
to come around.
My brother came in. His eyes dazed, and a cheeky grin on his face
"I imprinted!", he was so elated...
Oh God, please no..
I was devastated. My features must have given it away.
He caught my expression and his turned angry.
"Dammit Leah! I know you hate imprinting, but can't you be happy for me?"
"Seth, I...", I began, but he cut me off.
"Save it, Leah. I'm going to be in my room", he glowers at me and I heard the door slam upstairs.
My knees gave out. He was right. Couldn't I be happy, at least for him?
I hated crying. But once I began I couldn't stop. Fucking tears.
Everyone was happy, I was just a black cloud hanging over that.
Sam & Emily
Mom & Charlie
Seth & his imprint.
Jacob & Renesmee.
I have to go, to get away from all the pain. I need to go. They need me to go.
I'll mar their happiness..
I'm leaving. Living away from La Push will help me.
Need to get away, need to get away..
That was my mantra.
A single letter was all I left, nothing more.
Not looking back, I left.
And there you are on your knees.
Begging for forgiveness;
Begging for me.
Just like I always wanted.
But I'm so sorry.
There was a heavy rain outside. Just perfect, now I was drenched.
I hurried to the car when I felt a pair of warm arms grab my shoulders.
"Seth told me what you planned to do. Please Lee don't go. Don't go...", he pleaded with me.
"Get off me, Jacob. You can't stop me. I..I..I hate you."
His arms went back down immediately. It hurt me to see his tormented expression.
"Leah...please don't leave me. I love you. Please just forgive me. I still love you!"
He was on his knees by now, just like I had wanted... but I shook my head.
I only looked away, noticing our tears blending in with the rain.
"You don't love me, Jacob. You love her. Never say that again. All you're going to do is hurt me..all you do is hurting me", my voice broke, "Now please get away from me."
I left him there and got into the car. Nothing he said would make me stay.
"Lee-Lee...", he breathed, tears still flowing.
'Cause I'm not your princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday
who might actually treat me well
This is a big world
That was a small town
There in my rear view mirror
Disappearing now
And it's too late for you and your white horse
Now it's too late for you and your white horse
To catch me now.
I'm not Jacob's princess.
I'm going to find someone who will love me.
Who will not have the risk of leaving me for some imprint.
La Push was a small town and so was Forks.
The one in my rear view mirror..
The world is big and my other half is out there..somewhere.
But for me and him it's not possible.
It's too late for Jacob.