AN: The following is the result of a lost bet with my good friend Jess. It does not necessarily reflect the author's wishes and preferences. R&R nevertheless, and try to guess what the bet may have been about.

On the Beach

HARRY POTTER TIES KNOT AT LAST!

Witches of Britain in Mourning

By special reporter Lavender Brown-Thomas

Yesterday, in a wedding ceremony presided by the Minister of Magic himself and attended by a few hundred invited guests, Harry Potter, the boy who lived and vanquisher of You-know-who, as well as the most eligible bachelor in British wizarding society, finally exchanged marital vows with his fiancée of some four years, former school mate Miss Ginevra Wesley, daughter of Arthur Weasley, Senior Undersecretary for Muggle Relations at the Ministry of Magic.

"I'm the happiest girl in the world," a radiant Mrs Potter tells me breathlessly after the ceremony. "You know – I've been in love with my hero ever since I saw him the first time… Oh, I remember so well… I couldn't even talk to him at first, I was so shy… And then, in my first Hogwarts year, he saved my life! I think that's when I made a vow to myself I'd marry him… Oh, it seemed as if my dream would never come true, but I persevered and never gave up on him, even if it hurt so much to see him with other girls… And now, finally, we are together and I'm sure we'll be the happiest couple in the whole wide world… So I want to give a message to all your readers out there – you can get it if you really want it, but you must try!"

Of course, not everybody is happy about this wedding, far from it.

"I'm sure I'm expressing an opinion shared by many witches in Britain," says fashion model Romilda Vane, "in saying that today is a bleak day – the most desirable wizard in the British Isles, or, perhaps, in all Europe… He could have had his pick amongst hundreds of the most beautiful girls –," she does not finish and dabs at her eyes.

But Miss Vane is wrong at least in one respect – the bride is a vision in turquoise robes, her flaming red hair cascading in luxurious waves down her back, crowned with a diamond tiara. And the groom's eyes have every reason to rest adoringly on her dazzling appearance. And I am sure all my readers will, just like myself, only have the best wishes for the newly-wed couple.

In the same ceremony, Mr. Ronald Weasley, keeper for Chudley Cannons second-league Quidditch team and Miss Hermione Granger, Junior Assistant of the Ministry's Department of Magical Research, also exchanged bonding vows.

The newly-weds are going to spend heir honeymoon in an undisclosed location, but there are rumours of a secluded island in the Caribbean or the Southern Pacific.

[For all details of Mr Potter's exploits and achievements, see pages 11 – 26

"Ah," Ginny sighed happily, putting down the copy of Witch Weekly and stretching luxuriously in her deckchair. "Good old Lavender… She did a lovely job on that article, don't you think, Harry?"

Her husband, who had been looking dreamily out across the white sand towards the sea, where a red and golden sun was just beginning to set, emerged from his reverie and cast a reluctant glance at the glossy page, from which a good cross-section of Britain's wizarding jeunesse doree smiled and waved back at him.

"Yes, love; and those pictures are… nice… Of course, no picture will ever do you any justice…"

"Thanks, Harry, you are so sweet…" A soft kiss rewarded his gallantry.

"I still can't quite believe it," she went on. "When I woke up this morning, for a moment I was afraid to open my eyes and find it had all been a dream… But then – oh, Harry…"

She broke off and threw herself at him to hug and kiss him passionately. "Harry, oh Harry…" she kept whispering between sobs of happiness.

"Oi!"

"Shut up, Ron!" Ginny interrupted her activities for a moment to glare furiously at her brother, then resumed them with renewed vigour.

"Er – I'm sorry… It's just – I'm not used to watch my sister snogging people's brains out…"

"Still? I'll have you know, Ronald Weasley, I'm a respectable married woman, and I can snog anybody I like…"

"Hey!"

"I didn't mean it like that, Harry, and you know it. I mean, - oh heck, you know what I mean!"

"Leave them alone, Ron," Hermione said, sounding amused. "You can see we are not really wanted here, can't you?"

"Right, my love. Let's get those house elves fix us some pina coladas or something."

"Ron!"

"Well, they love work, Hermy, you should know that by now…"

"Don't call me Hermy, you're not Grawp, are you? And they only believe they love work, because they have been brainwashed for centuries…"

And happily bickering, they wandered off along the beach.

"Oh dear," Harry chuckled. "I'd have imagined that sexual tension of theirs was resolved by now…"

"Ours certainly is," Ginny giggled.