Disclaimer: Some of the words in this story are not mine and belong to the writer(s) of Return Engagement. I don't own Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman or its characters. They are the creation of Beth Sullivan and owned by CBS.
Song of my Heart
© 2007-2008
Prologue
David let his arms fall back down at his side while trying not to let his true feelings show. He loved Michaela dearly with all his heart and a part of him wished that she could be back in his arms again. But when she wouldn't answer his question if she loved Sully more, her silence spoke a thousand words. They weren't to be, not then and not after seven years.
Michaela looked up at him with a meek smile seeing the shadow of man she once knew. David had changed so much in all those years and a part of her felt as if she didn't really know him anymore. They had been young with hopes and dreams that were never truly realized.
"Goodbye, David," Michaela said before turning away from a part of her life she once knew so many years ago; a life in Boston, in love with a man who was a doctor as was she, and from there not much more. She knew now deep down inside her present and her future with Sully. The man she truly loved with all her heart and hoped that it wasn't too late.
"Goodbye, Michaela." David started to wave at her back as he stood there watching her walk further away from him. He had hoped for a brief time that she might come back to him again, but alas that was not to be. She had changed from the young girl he had proposed to all those years ago into a woman he barely knew. Her Boston ways seemed to have diminished as she fell more in step with the ways of the West. He watched her until she disappeared into the woods before turning back towards the saloon. It was time to move on again.
Sully could feel the sweat forming on his brow as he lifted up the ax, bringing it down seconds later onto the awaiting log. The wood cracked in half sending small splinters flying as it fell to its side. It was then tossed into the pile of already broken logs.
He had been out here chopping wood for what seemed like hours that drifted into days. Michaela was the one thing on his mind, the person he wanted with all his heart to see truly happy. Coming out here seemed to be his only escape from everything that had transpired.
Sully reached down to pick up another log to set on the stump and raised his arm again. He thought of David this time, the one man in Michaela's past who had disrupted their happiness together. There had been anger towards David for his deception and finally an understanding between the two men.
Now, Sully hoped as he splintered another piece of wood in half that David would once again be a part of the past. What he had with Michaela was over seven years ago. And now she had moved on and found love again.
Sully reached down for another log right at the moment he heard Wolf whine and the sound of footsteps. He knew those footsteps anywhere, they belonged to Michaela.
Michaela barely heard the sound of Wolf's whine; her heart set on finding Sully. She hadn't realized how much he meant to her till the children told her something Sully said to them; to be fair. Deep down she knew Sully wanted her to be happy, another thing that made her realize how much he cared. There was nothing more that he wanted than her happiness. Her happiness now, she realized fully lie in the present with Sully and the children.
Michaela moved to the clearing, watching Sully as he chopped each log in half. His shirt was beginning to show sweat stains, while his muscles rippled with each stroke.
Sully looked up for a moment at Michaela wondering what had brought her out here. She didn't often follow him here to the lean-too.
"What brings ya out here?" he asked lifting his axe and a second later bringing it down onto another awaiting log.
"I want to thank you for what you did," Michaela replied after a moment to collect her thoughts. Didn't he know why she had come?
"Which was?" Sully inquired not so much out of curiosity as he was beginning to realize why she had come all the way out here.
"You left me free to decide," said Michaela wondering now why Sully was paying more attending to the logs than to her as she spoke.
"You must have decided then," said Sully just before he placed another log on the chopping block.
"Why do you say that?" Michaela asked, a bit curious.
"You wouldn't be here if you hadn't." Michaela let his words sink in for a moment. If she didn't know any better, Sully knew full well why she had come but certainly wasn't going to let her know it.
"Sides, you love David."
Michaela cringed at his words, recalling all the pain she had caused him with David unexpectedly returning into her life. "I'll always love David," she started and then paused. "But that's the past. You're the present. If you'll have me. Will you Sully?"
Michaela's words hung in the air for a moment after she spoke. The silence was a bit uncomfortable and a part of her dearly wished she hadn't waited too long.
"Will I what?" Sully asked with a small smirk on his face clearly knowing the result of her decision, yet wanting her to say the words to him now.
Michaela stared right into Sully's eyes as she braced herself for what she was about to ask. In her mind it was the man who asked, not the lady. However the tables seemed to have been turned on her rather quickly.
"Will you marry me?" Michaela asked hoping her voice came through crystal clear even though she was nervous beyond belief.
Sully stopped what he was doing the moment the three words left her lips. He then laid down his axe and when straight to her side.
Michaela's heart beat with anticipation while the heat in her cheeks rose as Sully approached her and let his hand graze her cheek as he murmured, "Yes."
Right then it felt as if all the weight on her shoulders had been lifted off, all the pain gone and now she felt free as a bird.
Sully wasted no time in claiming Michaela's lips with his own, as his fingers found themselves in the tangles of her hair. When his lips parted from their kiss he had a sudden urge to pull her out into the open and twirl her around like a couple on a dance floor.
Michaela could hardly take a breath before Sully whisked her right off her feet and into the open meadow. She felt the wind beneath her skirts, right before his lips claimed hers again with such passion it was as if his entire being was pouring into her.
"I love you," Sully murmured a minute later, his eyes never leaving hers for a second.
"I love you too," Michaela whispered back as the wind played with the small tendrils of hair around her face.
"Shall we ask the children's permission to marry?" Sully whispered into her ear as he held her close.
Michaela tried hard not to laugh as his words tickled the edges of her ear, "Sully," she protested for a moment. "Certainly they will give us their consent again?"
"Best ask," Sully replied as he pulled away to look at her beautiful face and the way her hair fell around her shoulders on down to her small waist.
Michaela looked up at him softly not missing the teasing glint in his eyes, "If you say so," she replied with a wink of her own.
Brian stepped out of the school house with his new friend Stephen at his side. Stephen was fairly new to Colorado Springs, having just arrived with his family from Kansas. He and Brian had spent the last few days in class pouring over an upcoming project. Neither one was quite interested in doing a report on the pyramids for a history project; they were both interested in other things at the moment. But Miss Dorothy had insisted that the two of them work together.
"You boys will do a great job together," she had told them just the other day.
"She sure seems pretty sure of herself," Stephen whispered to Brian out of Dorothy's earshot.
Brian nodded, "We'll see about that."
Stephen smiled to himself; this was going to be interesting writing on such a dull subject. He wished they could have picked out something of their own and much more exciting.
"Hey, do you think she'd let us write about the railroad or something?"
"I dunno," Brian replied.
"It'd be so much more exciting," said Stephen "Don't ya think?"
"Yah, although maybe we ought a give those pyramids a try," Brian replied trying to keep an open mind.
"Ok," Stephen answered after a moment of thought as the two of them continued their walk across the meadow towards town.
Colleen looked up from the medical book she was reading as her little brother came through the door, jingling the bell in his wake.
"Where's ma?" Brian asked the moment the door closed behind him.
"Haven't seen her since this morning," Colleen replied looking up from the book for a moment.
"Oh," Brian answered with a bit of disappointment in his voice.
"Is something wrong?" Colleen asked as she let the pencil drop down into the folds of the book.
"Nah," Brian started, not wanting to tell his sister what was wrong but when she looked at him with concerned eyes, he couldn't keep what was bothering him inside. "Miss Dorothy gave Stephen and me an assignment to write about Pyramids. We don't know much about pyramids and Stephen wants to write about the railroad."
Colleen put her hand on Brian's shoulder, "I'm sure you'll do great on your project. Maybe Dr. Mike has some books on pyramids you could look at," she said with a smile.
"Hope ma comes back soon then," said Brian with a bit of a hopeful smile. He still wasn't too thrilled with the project but maybe giving it a chance wasn't such a bad idea.
Matthew left Robert E's with his old saw in hand looking good as new. He had broken the old one some time back while working on his new homestead and hadn't had the funds to fix it. But with some recent odd jobs he was able to fork up enough to pay for some repairs. After all he was anxious to get back to work on the home he was building for Ingrid. A part of him couldn't wait to show her their home.
He walked along the dirt road, his gaze downward as he scuffed up dirt around his boots and cuffs with each step. The warm sun beating down seemed to have dried out the previous day's rain leaving behind more dust.
Matthew was just heading to the right of the General Store, when Ingrid and Jon appeared from around the side.
"You need doctor," said Jon yet again with an insistence that he hoped she would not ignore.
"I not need.." Ingrid started to say before the wheezing began again. With all the dry air her asthma was really acting up.
"Matt-hew," Jon called as he tried to support his sister from falling down to the ground.
Matthew took a second to snap out of his thoughts before turning towards the source of the voice. His breath caught in his throat as he willed his feet to walk forward. "We've got to get her to the clinic," he said once his breath had returned.
"Ya, I tell her this but she no listen." Jon only wished she had instead of being so stubborn. "Dr. Mike fix her ya?" he asked with more of a question, just as Ingrid let out another struggle of breath.
"She will," Matthew replied with his focus intent on getting Ingrid straight into the clinic and not worried about his saw that he dropped in the middle of town.
Ingrid felt herself becoming dizzy with each wave of her attack, just as Matthew scoped her up in his arms and carried her the rest of the way.
Jon followed after picking up the saw he had seen Matthew carrying with him moments ago.
"Oh my," Colleen exclaimed as Matthew barged through the door carrying Ingrid in his arms, with Jon closely behind. She then jumped up from Dr. Mike's desk sending a few papers to the floor and the pencil she was using to take notes.
"You gotta help her," said Matthew as he laid her down on the examining table. Her breathing hadn't gotten much better and he was getting really worried.
Colleen tried frantically to remember exactly what it was Dr. Mike used to treat Ingrid's asthma as she looked through the cupboard of medicines. A moment later she came up with the chloroform. She quickly grabbed a cotton swab, opened the bottle, turned it over and then quickly placed it near Ingrid's nose and mouth.
Ingrid slowly found herself being able to breathe again as her air passages opened up. She looked up at everyone around her, "What I doing here?"
"You had another attack, but everything is gonna be alright," Matthew replied as he took one of her hands in his own.
Ingrid gave Matthew a small smile, before giving his hand a squeeze. "I go now, sisters need me," she said as she started to rise up off the examining table.
Matthew held out his hand to push her back down, "Not now you need your rest first."
"I go look after sisters," Jon chimed in before giving Colleen a nod and leaving the clinic.
Ingrid lay back down with some reluctance before letting her eyelids flutter closed.
Michaela slipped through Sully's arms letting the wind pick up her skirts and tease the ends of her hair. "This is a beautiful place, Sully," she breathed while her eyes wandered around the trees in the clearing with the afternoon sun peering through the branches.
"Sure is, picked out myself," Sully replied as he came closer to Michaela hoping to capture her in his arms again. It wasn't everyday he had her completely to himself.
"Did you?" Michaela asked as she turned towards Sully meeting the intensity of his gaze.
Sully smiled as he reached up to put a stray hair out of his face, "I did," he replied in what seemed like a whisper. "Been living out here for awhile on my own away from everyone. The solitude is nice, being able to watch the sunrise and the sunset each night is just beautiful." He looked around at everything for a moment before his eyes rested on Michaela.
Michaela looked at Sully with a bit of concern in her eyes, "Now that we are engaged are you going to want to continue to live in solitude?" She asked with hesitation and the fear of what might befall if he answered yes.
Sully's gaze bore into Michaela's seeing a pain that wasn't there before, "Course not," he murmured as his arms reached to envelope Michaela in their warm embrace. "I'd like ta build a home for you and the children away from town, but in no way do I want complete solitude in my life. Since we've been courtin' I've enjoyed your company more than anything and being around the children. It's been an adjustment; one worth all the effort."
Michaela smiled as her heart swelled with love for the man at her side while tears threatened to make an appearance. She had no idea how much he'd enjoyed being around her, the children and his willingness to come back to a life he'd left behind years ago. "It's been an adjustment for me too, coming all the way out here to Colorado Springs. I've been so used to the fineries of society, being waited on, having luxuries; that coming out here opened up my eyes. There has been so much for me to learn since I've been here whether it be raising children, learning to cook and discovering new medical remedies. But one thing is for sure regardless of adjustments, "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Sully.
"Me too," Sully whispered as he drew her close to him, letting his fingers fall through her hair as he came closer his breath warmed her face before his lips met her own.
Michaela felt herself responding to the kiss in ways she never thought possible. Her body tingled with warmth in new places as her hands ran themselves through the waves in Sully's hair. She loved the way it felt, and even more just being close to him. It brought with it new feelings that were frightening and yet a part of her was very slowly releasing bits of pent up passion.
Sully felt Michaela's small form press against him as their kiss deepened. He hardly took Michaela for the passionate kind when it came to love, but her urgency suggested otherwise. His fingers began to run themselves into her long hair, while the head in his body rose.
"Sully," Michaela breathed as her lips parted from his.
"Michaela," he breathed back as his warm breath fell over her face, kissing it with a pinkish glow.
"Where should we build our house?" Michaela asked still riding high on a cloud.
"You leave that to me," he replied as his arm went around her with a smile; his thoughts already thinking of the perfect location.
"Why's that?" Michaela asked after a moment, curious as to what Sully was thinking.
Sully let his arm fall from her shoulders as he turned to face her, his blue eyes searching her face. "Just trust me on this one," he answered quietly.
"You seem pretty sure of yourself," Michaela said with a smile, noting Sully's smug look.
"Let's just say I know the land," he answered hoping to end the discussion of where to build their house.
"No argument there."
"Good."
"Miss Dorothy, where am I gonna find a book on the pyramids?" Brian asked looking up at her with sad pleading eyes. He'd searched Loren's stacks in the store and came up short.
Dorothy smiled, bent down to his level before replying, "Why don't ya check with your Ma? She just might know where to look."
"Think so?" Brian replied sounding a bit hopeful for a moment. He watched her nod. "And if I don't?" he added just before leaving.
"You'll find something," said Dorothy giving the boy some more hope. She knew he would do fine on this paper and wouldn't have given him and Stephen the topic if she didn't think they couldn't find any books on pyramids.
"Thanks Miss Dorothy, I'll be going now." Brian gave her one last smile before exiting the store with his books slug over his shoulder. This was going to be a challenge.
Brian left the general store with his head down in thought as he headed towards the meadow.
He thought about returning to the clinic but he knew Colleen would be there right now probably still pouring over that medical text and there still wasn't any sign of his Ma's wagon.
"Hey, Brian," Stephen called out as he hurried to catch up with his friend. He had heard him talking with Miss Dorothy and wondered if they were able to change their project topic.
"Hey, Stephen," Brian answered after a moment without much enthusiasm in his voice.
"You ok?" Stephen asked when he noticed the fallen look on Brian's face.
"Yeah, I'm ok. Just not sure where to find books on pyramids," he replied.
"Oh," Stephen answered. "She didn't let us change topics?"
Brian shook his head in reply, "Nope."
"What are we gonna do?" Stephen asked after a moment, wondering too how they were going to pull this off. The project had sounded so exciting when Miss Dorothy told it to the class, but now with the topic they had it didn't seem so thrilling anymore.
"I don't know," Brian replied with a sigh in his voice. "With Ma gone I'm not sure who to turn to, or even where a book might be."
"You got a point there."
The boys walked in silence with their heads facing the ground, as both of them tried to work out in their minds how this was all going to come together in a few weeks time.
Myra stepped outside the telegraph office breathing in the smell of the fresh air. She'd been copped up inside all morning trying to listen to Horace. He had been so sweet to explain the workings of the telegraph to her, but her thoughts at been completely distracted. Being newly wed didn't leave much thought for anything else.
Her eyes noticed Stephen and Brian walking along together with their hands down, feet shuffling the dust as they walked, soon after she came outside. "Hello, boys," she called out to them.
"Hello Miss Myra."
"What's on your mind? You boys look kinda sad."
"It's our school project. We're supposed to write something about the pyramids but we can't find nothing. Ma ain't around either so we dunno what to do."
"Pyramids ya say?" Myra mulled this over in her mind for a moment trying to think of the stories she'd heard about them in St. Louis. "You know about Pyramids, Miss Myra?"
"Oh a little. I hear they hold a lotta treasures hidden away with the Kings and Queens."
"They hide Kings and Queens in there?" Stephen asked out of curiosity.
"Nope, that's where they bury them."
Stephen and Brian looked at her quizzically as if such a thought was out of the question, yet her expression never wavered. A moment later she had a captive audience of two young boys, while Hank and Jake eyed her from afar.
Michaela could feel the warm steady breathing from Sully moistening her neck and face. It gave her chills all down her spine, as she leaned against his strong muscular body. Her eyes closed as she felt herself lean into him more while one hand caressed his arm as the other reached up to gently run her fingers through his hair.
Sully tried to steady himself the moment she leaned back into him, but found in damn near impossible the moment her hands started doing things to him. Her touch was so light, her fingers so delicate it was driving him crazy already. There was no way he could think about anything else while she was doing these things to him. He wanted her to stop, yet he couldn't the moment she breathed his name. Any wall he had built crumbled in that single breath of his name.
"Sully," she breathed into the crisp air as the strong body behind her began to give way. Her heart was beating to fast inside to feel the rush of air as she fell with him to the soft ground below.
His arms never left her as they fell together in a tumble of arms and legs, each searching for the other as if now was the moment all the pent up passion was being released.
Sully rolled over as he kissed her passionately, pinning her to the ground beneath him. Her eyes looked up at him dark with longing like he'd never see before while her lips formed a seductive smile. He could feel himself reacting to her even more, as she then reached up to caress his face letting her fingers linger too long on the softness of his neck. She was going to make him putty in her hands if she wasn't careful.
Michaela didn't want to stop exploring the man she loved with all her heart. She could feel the breath hitch in her throat when he looked at her, those piercing deep blue eyes full of passion and love. His touch felt electric on her now as he let himself explore her beautiful features.
Her heart beat widely as he kissed her tenderly beneath her ears, down her neck while his hands caused small fires in every part of her he touched. She nearly lost all her senses when his hand accidentally grazed her breast.
"Sully," she whispered with a small warning in her voice. "What?" Came her reply as his eyes danced before her in a flirtatious manner. "It's not proper to ummm," she couldn't get the words out as her hand came up to intertwine with his. "Were you gonna say somethin'?"
"I..uh.." Just then his lips placed a feather light kiss on her knuckles causing any thoughts of propriety to go out the window. If he didn't stop she was sure to melt into him the way an unmarried woman shouldn't, yet it felt so right.
Sully smiled down at her, God she was beautiful and how he wanted her right then and there, but without a ring on her finger he didn't want to take her just yet even though the temptation was great. "Ya were sayin' somethin'?"
Michaela wanted to tell him a lot of things that just wouldn't come out. She wanted to tell him it wasn't proper, that they shouldn't go any further, yet she couldn't find any words to speak what she was feeling deep down. It took her several moments to gather up her thoughts. "Hold me, Sully," came her murmured reply.
Sully was only to happy to oblige as he nestled down beside her, taking her in his arms as he stared into the sky above them. He felt her settle herself on his chest, feeling her heart beat and the warmth of her hands on his warm body.
They stayed like this for some time without saying a word as if they were letting Mother Nature talk along with the beating of their hearts.
Michaela felt so safe in his warm embrace that she nearly fell asleep with the luring of the breeze and his heart beat in her ear. She loved the feelings she had when he was near. Early on she'd been afraid to touch and kiss, but now she was different. Her thoughts on touching and kissing had loosened up some.
Sully let his fingers caress her arm lovingly while occasionally running his fingers through her hair. He loved having her so close, inhaling the scent of roses that followed her around, along with seeing her beautiful smile. His heart had been taken for an unpleasant ride when David came, and now he was happy Michaela decided to stay in the present. He didn't know what he'd do without her. Heck, he'd be gone from here if it wasn't for her. She gave him a reason to stay.
"Sully," Michaela called out softy as she played with the fabric of his shirt, causing unbelievable tingles all through his body as the fabric teased his skin.
"Hmmm." It was all he could say with her driving him near mad with desire.
"Its getting dark, shouldn't we be heading home."
"And darker still," he managed to get out as the night began to settle in around them.
"The children will worry."
"They'll be fine."
Michaela wasn't convinced, even with Sully telling her they would be ok by themselves. "Sides, we can head home first thing." He wasn't about to give up the position he was in and sides what was the harm in spending one night out here along with his betrothed.
"But…" She started to protest, lifting her head off his chest only to be met by his smoldering gaze and lips as they captured her own to prevent her from saying anything else.
"Just one night," he pleaded with her when they parted. She thought of all number of reasons to say no, but when he looked at her like that there was no way she could even thing of denying him. "Oh, alright."
Michaela found herself captured by Sully's lips yet again under the setting sun as they intertwined themselves for a night under the stars.
Epilogue
Brian woke up rubbing the sleep from his eyes as the sun tried to pour through the cracks in the walls. He shivered a little as he sat up in bed. The morning air was awful cold as he stepped out of bed and placed his warm feet on the floor below. It wasn't much warmer as he looked around for something to put on his feet and wrap his body in. In his search to find something, he woke up Colleen.
'Brian?"
"Sorry, I'm freezin'. Tryin' to find something to wrap up in."
"It's ok." Colleen plopped back down on the pillows, not ready to get up just yet. "Ma come home last night?" Brian peered around the curtain, "Nope. Beds still made."
"Wonder were she is."
"Dunno. Seems strange her not tellin' us where she's goin'."
"Yeah."
Just then Matthew came through the back door sending a rush of cold air into the room. His siblings complained right away, asking him to shut the door so they wouldn't freeze. "Sorry."
'Guess Ma didn't come home late last night did she?"
"Nope," Colleen replied as she finally relented and got up out of bed, greeting the cold air as she did so.
"Looks like its Graces for breakfast then. Best wash up." Matthew thankfully had already washed and dressed before he came inside. He listened to his brother and sister try to battle out who was going to use the water first to wash. Smiling to himself he let himself back out to the barn to get the horses ready for the trip into town.
He didn't get very far when he heard the sound of laughter coming closer to them. Brian and Colleen froze for a moment, listening too. "Ma," Brian shouted as she came into full view. He forgot all about his towel and soap then when he ran to go greet her and Sully.
Colleen smiled up at her brother, "Looks like they made up."
"Yep sure does."
Michaela embraced Brian as he came running towards her full on with a big grin on his face. Off all three children he'd been the most difficult to start but proved to be a kind soul underneath. She took his hand, while Sully followed close behind as they made their way over to where her other two children stood watching.
"Matthew, Colleen, Brian, I have something I want to ask you," Michaela started as she tried to catch her breath. All three children looked right at her wondering what was coming next. "May I have your permission to marry Sully?"
All three children didn't hesitate to voice their approval before they were shooed off to wash up.
"I'd say they took that rather well," Sully joked the moment they had all dispersed. Michaela turned to bat his arm but was met with a kiss instead to quiet her. "Must you always quiet me that way?" She asked in a loving way. "Maybe," Sully smirked in reply before he thought about letting her go wash up for town. As he stood there splashing water on his face he thought about how lucky he was to have a beautiful fiancée and three wonderful children to call his own. They were truly a blessing he was most fortunate to have and cherish as his heart sung a beautiful song of love.
completed 5-17-08