A/N: Yay, first story~! I've had this idea in my head for a while now, but I could never post it because I've been using the mobile site on my iPod, and I could never figure out how to publish stories using it :/
Anywho! On to the story~ Kitsune out~!
Ciel and Sebastian hesitantly walked into Undertaker's shop, wary of his odd tendencies. The blue-haired child knew full well what to expect when the mortician spotted them, and was a bit surprised when Undertaker didn't make his -slightly creepy, in Ciel's opinion- request for laughter in exchange for giving the kid information on whatever case he happened to be working on at the time (a mass murderer case. Again. Couldn't the criminals of London be a bit more creative with their crimes?).
Instead, the Undertaker was engaged in what looked like an I-can-do-a handstand-longer-than-you contest, and had ditched his long cloak for a normal suit. His opponent was a brunette woman wearing a white puffy shirt with elbow length sleeves, a form-fitting black vest, rounded rectangle shaped glasses, and a pair of black pants that shimmered like silk.
"..." neither Ciel nor Sebastian knew what to say. However, Undertaker did, apparently.
"Ah, hello little earl~ Are you here about the new murder case?" He asked calmly, a serene expression on his face, despite the blood rushing to it due to his being upside down for who knew how long. The brunette woman spoke up.
"This one's not very creative, and messy about it too... I'm not too fond of it's style." She said, an irked expression on her face. Undertaker launched into the air using his arms, and landed on his feet, about to ask for a 'first-rate laugh' as he put it, but the mahogany-haired woman spoke again, launching herself to her feet as she did so, "Ha! I told you I could stay upside down longer than you, Theo~!" she cried out, pointing a finger at the silver-haired shinigami.
"Theo? So that's your real name...!" The little earl muttered, a bewildered expression on his eyepatch-adorned face. The brunette woman, who had yet to give a name herself, promptly burst into laughter.
"Why are you so surprised? Did you really think his name was Undertaker?" she asked between bouts of laughter. Sebastian was ready with a coolly voiced reply.
"Of course not, my lady. My Lord knew that 'Undertaker' was not Sir Theo's true name (at this point, Undertaker hummed in pondering, then mumbled "Sir Theo, that one's new. I like it~"), but prior to now, he had never known what his real name was. If I may, might we know your name, since we are on the subject?" He ended his question with a smooth smile that didn't reach his eyes.
"Oh, I suppose I should tell you two what you can call me, shouldn't I? My name is Alessandra Grimm. Most people I know just call me Grimmie, since 'Alessandra' is a bit of a mouthful, and any shortenings of it sound horrid in my opinion." Grimmie stuck out a hand for Ciel to shake, and he did, introducing himself and Sebastian to her while he did. After he'd done that, she extended a hand for Sebastian to shake. He shook her hand as well, very happy that she did not expect him or Ciel to kiss it instead. Sebastian found the tradition weird and annoying and positively human.
"Well, this has been entertaining~ But not enough to classify as a first-rate laugh. Little earl, you do know you'll get nothing if you give nothing, correct~?" Undertaker inquired of Ciel, a grin on his face.
"I'm well aware. Sebastian, give him a 'first-rate laugh' as he calls them." Ciel replied, boredom creeping into his voice.
"Yes, my lord. May I request that you step outside for a moment?"
"Fine. Make the joke quick, then." Ciel was a bit irked at not being able to hear the joke, but knowing Sebastian, a second thought made him glad to not hear it.
"I'll escort the little lad out!" announced Grimmie, marching towards the door, lightly tugging the 'little lad' out with her. She showed him out, and closed the door just as Sebastian was saying,
"There once was a woman from Que..."
A few moments later, the shop was shaking from the force of both Undertaker's and Grimmie's laughter. Sebastian opened the door with a "Young Master,
you can come back in now." Ciel followed his butler back inside, to be met with a still hysterically laughing Undertaker and a giggling Grimmie.
"How in the world is a demon so damn funny~?" gasped Grimmie between giggling fits. Ciel and Sebastian narrowed their eyes and took on a guarded expression.
"I had my suspicions you weren't human, Lady Grimmie, but now I know for sure. You're certainly not a demon or an angel... You're a Shinigami, a Grim Reaper if you will, are you not?" Grimmie took on a faux hurt expression when Sebastian said she certainly couldn't be an angel.
"You wound me, leashed demon- I certainly couldn't be an angel?" she dropped her 'hurt' act and cocked her left hip, resting her hand on it, "Actually, I don't care about that, I'm just surprised you figured me out so quickly. Although considering we're not fighting to the death and I'm not trying to break your contract with Ciel to 'show him the light', whatever the hell that means, I guess I might as well have just told you two when you walked in the door."
Ciel spoke next. "Look, I really don't care what you are as long as Undertaker gives me the information I need to solve this case."
"You mean you haven't figured it out yet~? Silly little earl, I thought you were supposed to be the best~" taunted Undertaker, straightening a coffin that had fallen down.
"You know who it is!? Tell me!" Exclaimed Ciel, immediately wondering how many times Undertaker had known who the culprits were before he did.
"Ah, ah, ah! You merely asked for information to help you solve the case. You never told me you wanted me to tell you if I know who the culprit is. I can tell you
what you asked me to, but I won't tell any more~" Undertaker once again taunted Ciel, for he was so close to solving the case, yet so far at the same time.
Ciel huffed in annoyance.
"Theo, why must you tease the poor boy? Although it is very entertaining, shouldn't we just tell him who it is?" Grimmie mock-solded the mortician, obviously not meaning a word of what she said, besides the part about the whole ordeal being very entertaining.
Ciel's eye began to twitch.
"Eh, perhaps we should, but I don't particularly like the Queen, and giving away the culprit would certainly make her happy. No, I think I'll just give hints, and leave the problem solving to Ciel."
"Alright, but I want to tell him how all the victims died~!"
"Certainly~"
"Would SOMEBODY please tell me SOMETHING!?" Cried out the very ticked off Ciel, Sebastian silently laughing at his suffering.
"Ok, little lad, I'm gonna tell you how the murderer killed his victims, so pull up a coffin and listen to Auntie Grimmie~!" The brunette happily trilled out. Ciel reluctantly followed instructions and sat down on a (hopefully) empty coffin. Grimmie knocked on a few coffins before finally taking a seat on one.
"Why were you knocking on the coffins?" inquired Ciel, honestly curious as to why she did that.
"Oh! See, the coffins can't really be opened unless there's multiple people lifting the lid or the one person lifting it is obscenely strong. Since I don't feel like opening multiple coffins to find an empty one, I just knock on the sides of them~! A coffin with a body inside had a different sound than an empty one because the sound waves made from a full coffin can't bounce around as much and have a much more muffled sound than an empty coffin." Grimmie then proceeded to knock on the side of the coffin Ciel was sitting on, "That one's got a body in it~" After staring at the coffin in shock for a minute, the blue-haired noble quickly scrambled to a different one that the brunette shinigami had deemed empty. "Anywho! The murderer seems to be trying to reignite the Jack the Ripper panic, but they have no clue how to tear out the uterus. After killing the person -slash to the jugular vein, by the way- they just make very ugly gashes in the body, then tear up the inside looking for the organ they want to rip out. I doubt they even know what it looks like."
"Thank you, Lady Grimmie, for that...enlightening piece of information." Sebastian said with a bow, "I believe I can make a suspect list for My Lord now." He looked to his contractor for approval , although in reality, he didn't really care about the brat's approval.
"Yes, thank you for helping us with this case. We shall take our leave now." Ciel announced, boredom being the main undertone of his words. He got up from the coffin he was sitting on and walked to the door.
"Goodbye, little earl~" This came from Undertaker.
"You'll be seeing us very soon~!" Continued Grimmie.
"And it will not be a happy occasion on which we will next meet..." Undertaker finished, although neither Ciel nor Sebastian heard him.
A/N: How was it? I've got so much more written out, but I'm not sure if I should keep posting it. Review, and tell me what you think~!