(A/N) A quick humor fic. My life has been going screwy lately. I needed it.

You need to be well into the Greed Island arc to get this, although there aren't really any spoilers… you just won't get it. Also, for those of you who might not have watched the 1999 anime (and just read the manga) Kil hates red peppers.

NO YAOI INTENDED. Also, in the 1999 anime, both Gon and Kil are shown to be very… fidgety sleepers (Ima nom ur foot!). And they share a bed like constantly. Just so you know.

I do not own Killua, Gon, or Hunter x Hunter in general. Enjoy!

Killua couldn't believe his eyes.

Mountains of chocolate cake as far as the eye could see, each topped with rich, dripping ice cream peeks, stretched out before him. Water flooded the little assassin's mouth as his body began to tremble with excitement, his expression slowly neko-fied in his eager joy.

…

"Ne, Killua…" Gon groaned, "you're drooling all over me…!" The little Hunter shoved uselessly at his sleeping friend, trying to wipe saliva from his eye with the back of his equally drooled-upon hand. "Oi, Killua…! Ugh…!"

…

No sooner, however, had Killua leaped forward than he was jerked back, dragged away from the glorious landscape of desserts. He felt himself loose his footing, skidding backwards and flailing all the way. He was as helpless, though, as a puppet on its strings.

…

"Ow…! Ouch! Killua…! Ow, quit it!" Gon growled, trying to stave off his friend's writhing limbs. One hand caught him in the nose and he yelped, nearly falling from their shared bed.

…

"They aren't for you."

"Illumi!" Killua snarled, trying to locate his brother. "Show yourself!"

The sky above the sweet scenery faded to black, Illumi's cat-like eyes appearing there as though projected. Then thin hands grasped the struggling boy's shoulders, pulling him closer.

"Don't make Aniki punish you…"

The young assassin's nen crackled up around him. "You'll be sorry…!"

…

"Ye-y-ye-y-ye-y-yeoooow!" Poor Gon twitched convulsively as electricity- made worse by the conductivity of the drool –raced through him, making his every hair stand on end and his skin begin to fry. "Ki-k-ki-k-ki-k-Killuaaaaaaa…!"

…

Illumi seemed unfazed by the attack, although it did make his hair poof out in something that could be called an afro.

"These are for you," the elder assassin said coldly, holding out a plate of… red peppers.

"Noooooo!" Killua howled. "Not those! Anything but those!" Once again feeling like a puppet, he felt his head tipped back. "Nooooooooooooooooo!"

…

Gon, still sporting a slight tick due to his recent electrocution, was caught totally unprepared as his friend sprang explosively from the bed, sending the small Hunter right into the wall as he bolted for the bathroom. He picked himself up just in time to see a pale Killua lean against the doorframe.

"Oh Gon, I just had the most horrible dream!"

Zzt.

Twitch.

…

Several days later, Killua lay awake, staring up at the ceiling. When he felt his friend tense beside him, he glanced over curiously.

Gon's brow was knit with cross anger, and the Hunter muttered something unintelligible abut how foxbears didn't like cheese. Then, his nen began to build and louder, clearer, he said, "Show me rock…!"

Killua's eyes widened in sudden panic, and he scrabbled helplessly at the bedclothes that seemed to hold him fast in their clutches. "Gon… Gon, no…!"

"Jan… Ken…"

"Hold up, Gon! Wake up! St-stop! Gon…!"

"ROCK!"

END

(A/N) Reviews help fund poor Kil's hospital bills. And Gon's dry-cleaning. Please donate.