I had to write something.
It's the middle of the night, and she stares at her arms.
She stares at the red gashes that she made.
She feels so disgusted, so fucked up.
"Hey, Tess, it's me. I know you won't answer me, but I'm sorry. For everything, I've been a bitch to you. I can't believe I have to say this to a machine, and not in your face…"
She lifts her head, and glances out of the window.
All she finds is darkness, and she's never felt so lonely in her life.
The drizzling must mean it's raining, she concludes.
Normally she loves rain, but now it only makes things worse.
"No wait, you should be the one who has to apologize! I don't know you anymore, you've been a bitch to ME, all year! I didn't deserve all that! I hate you!"
It reminds her, everything reminds her.
She can't stand the colour pink, she can't stand lip gloss.
They're all hers, and it feels so fucked up to see them without her.
She glances at her phone. 03:12, the timer says.
She's not tired, which is funny, because she's always tired.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. You had your reasons! I don't hate you, I love you, remember? Best friends forever, right? Forever and ever and ever."
She closes her eyes, expecting darkness.
But all she sees is her face, staring back at her.
Cold, daring, and yet…. So warm, so terrifying. So sweet.
She opens her eyes again and they glance at her arms.
She feels proud, because she deserves it.
"Tess, I know I messed up… I shouldn't have done it, but your voice was so loud, you wouldn't shut up, Tess. And I'm sorry, but please, try to understand."
She snatches the picture of them and throws it with all her might against the wall.
She watches it shatter, the breaking of glass tickles her ears.
She smiles, just before she starts crying.
"It's Mitchie, again. I expected you to wake up, but you didn't."
She sobs into her hands, she screams.
She keeps on screaming, and no one hears.
Because they don't care anymore.
She yells, she gets hysterical.
She keeps on chanting her name, louder and louder.
"I didn't mean to kill you."
Tess, Tess, Tess, Tess, Tess.
It's like a spell, and she keeps on yelling.
Her screaming turns to God, she asks him to kill her.
She begs for mercy, but understands when she doesn't get any.
Tess. Tess. Tess. Tess. Tess.
"I'm sorry."
Thanks.