The Legend of Split Part Shogun

Part 1: Assembling of the Cast

Authors notes: This is a story I had an idea for, for awhile. It's probably the first and only Zetsubo sensei, cromartie high school, Detroit metal city , Mariaholic and Astro Fighter sunred crossover out there. Also this will have an eventual Mechazawa/Chiri pairing. Yes that's right Mechazawa/Chiri. Chiris always been my favorite character in Zetsubo sensei and there just aren't a lot of fics out there about her. I also like dMechazawa a lot so I thought this would be pretty fun. So here it is. Just to avoid confusion this story starts in the future, sort of like in Jet Li's movie "Fearless", it's setting up for a climax we won't see for awhile.

Note: This series contains spoilers for the three seasons of zetsubo sensei, and the Cromartie high school manga and live action movie

The story:

Day 7:

Crowds of people let forth a deafening cheer of anticipation as they looked down on the combatant entering the gladiatorial arena. It was a young girl with her smooth dark hair hair perfectly parted down the middle of her fore head laying straight and smooth going down her back. She was dressed in a yellow tracksuit much like that worn by Bruce Lee in his movie "Game of Death" and at her side was a single spade, stained with dried blood. To either side of her in the first row were a number of Chinese girls banging away on large drums signaling her entering the arena.

She took a moment to look around at the arena surrounding her. Mechazawa kun was sitting off to the side awaiting his own match against the other seeded team. She had promised that she would meet him in the finals of the Zenith of Things tournament! She wouldn't lose here!

In the stands

Nozomu Itoshiki, Hitou Nami, Tsunetsuki Matoi and Tane Kitsu all sat next to a huge collection of garbage, which had gathered behind them. Some of Nozomus other students were there as well but they had been forced away by the mountain of trash. Ahead of them were various members of the "Leap Man Group" their faces painted blue who were cheering Chiri onwards. She happened to be a part time member member of their group and they had come to support her here. And to the side of them were a bunch of rough looking delinquents, a gorilla and a burly looking man with a hairy chest riding a horse.

"S-Sensei…I've got a bad feeling about this. Shouldn't we try to stop this?" Nami, formerly known as the only ordinary girl in the class of despair asked her teacher. "I'm not worried about Kitsu san. Remember she defeated the El Nino Aliens, she killed the Neo Teachers organization as well as those spies that keep trying to kidnap me, she even split the earth. Chiri is no ordinary human! I'm more worried about Mechazawa kun. An ordinary delinquent entering this sort of contest, what was he thinking? He's going to die because I wasn't able to correct his delinquency problem! I'm in despair! The hopeless youth of Japan have left me in despair!" Nozomu shouted.

"But Mechaza was a robot…" Nami began to say.

"Delusional." Nozomu said turning away from her.

"Don't call me delusional!" Nami shouted in frustration.

"It'll be ok!" a voice muffled by garbage said as Kafuka forced her way up from under the trash heap. "Mechazawa kun might be a regular human, but he's madly in love with Chiri chan! True love will conquer all!" Kafuka declared.

"That's right! Love will always prevail! Just like our love!" Matoi said as she clung to Nozomus arm.

"So you were here?"

"Always…"

"Good luck sis!" Tane shouted as several barrels of toxic slime tumbled from her seat.

Not too far away in the VIP section

Mariya Shidou, a boy who appeared to be a girl with shimmering blonde hair and two pigtails sat in an over the top golden thrown. He was cosplaying as an Egyptian queen today. At his side were two girls, one was his blue haired maid Matsurika dressed in her usual maid outfit with a look of indifference on her face. The other was the busty lesbian girl Kanako Miyamae who was dressed as a slave girl, her neck attached a chained collar which Mariya held in one hand.

"Well now, looks like the funs about to start. That precision bitch has been lucky so far, but here it'll all end. She's about to fight last years runner up, the seeded team sponsored by me. That bitch will learn the true meaning of fear!" He said with a sadistic grin.

"Uhmmm…why do I need to be here?" Kanako asked uneasily. "Some of the people here don't even look human! What is all this?" She glanced over at a blonde Ape-man. Who was sitting to the side of them with a large gorilla man at his side. To their left was a strange man dressed in purple robes with a spear and shield, his face never seemed to move. And strangest of all this man was accompanied by several monsters. Below them was another man wearing a cape, he wore black and white face paint that made him look like he should be in some sort of heavy metal band, on his back was an electric guitar. There were others too, strange men dressed in skin tight suits with antennae coming from their heads, A robot with a screen on its chest that displayed messages and even a samurai who seemed to have an absurdly long topknot. The only relatively normal people in this area was a high school aged boy with long dark hair wearing a white uniform accompanied by another high school boy who seemed to have a very weak presence.

"Ah, that's right, you haven't been to the VIP section have you lesbo girl? What you know of on the news isn't correct, the people you see here represent the true rulers of this planet. Each of us vying for ultimate control of the world in his or her own way. In the past this delicate balance has always been maintained by this Zenith of Things Tournament, a contest designed to crush troublemakers and interlopers. Recently that balance has been upset by two people, that straight haired precision bitch Chiri Kitsu and that delinquent Mechazawa. Well that's fine, the purpose of the Zenith of things tournament was to get troublesome people like them to eliminate each other. Heroes and badasses alike fight here evenly against our sponsored teams for the commonwealth prize as well as the title of the #1 underground Kingpen, but no one has ever defeated the tournaments seeded teams. That bitch is about to learn the true terror of the ZOTT! That's what true power is about, to get your enemies to kill each other like the puppets they are!" Mariya said smiling with glee.

"Ummm…I'm still confused…" Kanako said in response to his explanation.

"Shut up and peel me some of those grapes lesbo girl! What do you think I'm paying you for?" Mariya said in irritation.

"You're not paying me at all though…" Kanako whined in response to this.

Not too far away

General Vamp, the representative of Florsheim the evil organization striving for global domination, sat in a seat next to the monsters Gyrus and Armored Tiger. Florsheims team had fallen early on in the tournament. Not even their strongest monsters could win. Even their undefeated enemy Astro Fighter Sunred, a muscular man whose face looked like a red superhero helmet. He too had been unable to defeat that girl, even going as far as to use his ultimate firebird form! Maybe he should try recruiting her?

"Oh Vamp san! I didn't know you were over here!" He recognized that voice, it was his friend Kayako, an office lady who was also the boyfriend of his mortal enemy Astro Fighter Sunred who was also accompanying her.

"Oh Sunred san! I didn't know you were still here, I thought you went home after your match." Apparently this was the wrong thing to say though.

"Shut the hell up you dipshit! I went easy on her because she was a little girl! I would've won for sure in a real fight!" Sunred shouted.

"Oh don't be such a sore loser!" Kayako said scolding him "I was just about to ask you about that recipe you were talking about the other day Vamp san, I couldn't quite get the dough to rise just right…"

"Oh it's not that hard, why don't you tell me what you did."

Sunred sighed, this was going to be a long day.

Not too far away

The boy in white, Takeshi Hokuto glanced over at the girl who represented the Shidou family, a family whose riches dwarfed even his own. She carried herself with regal nobility and ruthlessness equal…no even greater then his own! That was his ideal woman, but could he work up the courage to make a move?

"Hokuto san…maybe you should try striking up a conversation?" His henchman suggested.

"Yes…but in the middle of the tournament…it's just so awkward. And what would we talk about?" Hokuto said worried.

"Maybe you should try talking about horses, women like horses, or maybe a girls manga?"

"Yes, but she's of such class she may not even bother reading manga…and even if she does how do I know which title's she likes? Also my only experiences with horses have only been bad…" Hokuto said remembering his experiences with Freddies giant horse.

"Well I have some girls manga here. You could pretend to drop them nearby her when you get up to go to the bathroom. If she recognizes a title then you'll know." His henchman said.

"Yes, but that brings up several other problems. Even if she does recognize a title, wouldn't it be strange for someone like me to read girls manga? What if she thinks I'm some sort of deviant?" Hokuto asked.

"Well you could always try dropping some of this boys manga instead…." His henchman said taking some out of his bag.

"Why are you carrying all of that shoujo and shonen manga with you?" Hokuto asked looking confused.

Not too far away from Hokuto

Soichi Negishi AKA Krauser II sat in full metal gear. Why was he supposed to be here? It was bad enough that he was the lead man in a famous deathmetal band. But somehow the deathmetal Records president had gotten him involved with these shady people who were trying to conquer the world. How did this happen? When he came to the city he just wanted a peaceful life playing Swedish pop, but somehow he was now known as the demon king Krauser, who was not only the biggest name in death metal but now he was a member of some secret global domination society representing Death Metal Records. Was the president really so ambitious she even wanted to conquer the world? He glanced over to the helmeted man with the spear.

General Vamp quickly looked away, these heavy metal types were sure intimidating! He could only bring himself to listen to Swedish pop, but Krauser san was a fellow committee member, he had to show him the proper respect. Later he would try to give him a welcoming basket of his famous Shumai buns to break the water.

In the arena

The crowd cheered as the seeded team from the previous tournament entered the arena. "Harumi…" Chiri stated as her friend entered the arena dressed in the garb of a kunoichi. That's right, Harumi was the strongest otaku in the world, the girl who wielded the legendery "Dragon Slaying Fist"! The one person in Nozomus class of despair who was stronger then she was!

"Chiri…to think that you'd be the one who decided to challenge me here. But just to let you know, I won't go easy on you!" She said as she removed her glasses tossing them aside. The spectacles landed on the arena floor with a deafening thud as several cracks spread across it. That's right, her training glasses were so heavy Chiri had barely been able to lift them, could she really defeat Harumi?

But she couldn't back down now….not after she had promised Mechazawa…they would meet in the finals and they would properly settle this once and for all!

7 days ago

Nozomu had gone to the front of the class to make an announcement "Good morning everyone, I would like to introduce Mechazawa kun, who I'm happy to announce is a perfectly normal student who will be transferring into our school." Nozomu said as a cylindrical shaped metal man wearing a boys school uniform walked into the class. No one seemed to think this was out of the ordinary, that is except one person.

"Sensei! What's with that robot?" Hitou Nami shouted before Mechazawa could even make his introduction speech.

"Did you say robot?" Nozomu asked, a drop of sweat going down the side of his face.

"That's right! That robot!" Nami said pointing at Mechazawa.

"Who do you think you are calling me a robot!? Even if you are a girl, there are just some things you shouldn't say! If you prick me do I not bleed? I may be a delinquent, but through my vains flows hot blooded manliness that no machine could possibly imitate!" Mechazawa said getting angry as he shouted at her with a rough manly sounding voice.

"N-Now Mechazawa kun this isn't something to get angry about. I'm sure she didn't mean it…" Nozomu tried to say.

"What are you talking about? He's made of metal! What else would he be besides a robot?" Nami asked. Everyone was now giving her weird stares.

"Well at least we have one normal student in class." Nozomu said as he walked over to the roster and wrote the word "Delusional" under Namis name before crossing out "Normal".

"How rude, just because this new kids a delinquent you shouldn't call him a robot." Chiri said admonishing Nami.

"B-But.." Nami pleaded.

"No buts! Now you sit back down! I don't want to hear anymore of this robot nonsense. It's clear this boy is not a robot, he is merely a delinquent. Only a delinquent would wear their uniform in such an untidy way!" Chiri said before storming over to Mechazawa trying to get him to properly button his uniform.

"Get the hell away from me woman! Who do you think you are?" Mechazawa said as he struggled with Chiri.

A bit later after the class settled down Mechazawa finally made his introduction.

"My names Shinichi Mechazawa. Up until recently I've been a student at Cromartie high school, but I had to transfer here recently because my parents moved for business reasons. Like the chairman said, I am a delinquent, and I'm pretty bad with machines too. But don't judge me for that, I have the heart of a true man! And I won't back down from any challenge!" He said as he clunked on over to his seat before sitting down.

"How could a delinquent exist so close to me? Your not a really a delinquent!" Kafuka said as she looked over at him.

Nami looked on hopeful that someone else would see reason." Your actually a Sumo Wrestler!" Kafuka said with a smile.

"No, I assure you I am a delinquent, though I should go on a diet, I've been putting on a little weight." He then turned as he heard a thud from Nami smacking her head against her desk.

Class card: "Delusional Girl: Hitou Nami"

Nami: Don't call me delusional!