Noah's Great Simpson Adventure
By, Noah Jagers
My name is Noah Jagers, regular 15-year-old male and The Simpsons #1 fan. One day, as I watched today's recorded episode with my brother, Andrew, I said, "Wouldn't it be awesome to hang out in the Simpsons world for at least one day?" Andrew nodded. Suddenly, Bart Simpson looked straight at us, and popped out of the TV. "Then get your butts off the couch and c'mon in, man." He said. I looked at Andrew. "Wanna try it?" I asked. "Eh, what do we got to lose?" Andrew said. We took a deep breath and ran towards the TV.
When I opened my eyes, the world was cartoony all around. When I looked at my hands, my skin was the color of mustard. I found a busted mirror nearby and looked into it. My dirty blond hair was dark brown; my shirt was lime green with a Jolly Roger that had a Bart skull on it and I had blue jeans and black shoes.
"You look cool, Noah. But I look better, of course." Andrew said. I looked over at Andrew. His hair was dirty blond. He had an orange shirt with Scratchy on it from The Itchy and Scratchy Show, his pants were blue and his shoes were black. "So, Bart, what do you want to do?" I asked. Bart tossed me and Andrew one skateboard each. Let's go to Colin's." Bart said.
"What is that?" I asked. "It's a little pub for kids. It has really strong sodas for $8. $4 if you're Irish." Bart said. "Then Andrew and I are getting $4 sodas, 'because we're Irish." I said. I shot down the street on my skateboard, Bart and Andrew right behind me. When we entered Colin's, I saw why being Irish would get you half off. Lisa Simpson's boyfriend, Colin ran the place. "Top O' the mornin' to ya, Mr. Colin. Me brother and I wish to buy a soda each, Grape fer me, and cherry fer me brother." I said, in an Irish Accent. "Aye, sir, comin' right up." Colin said. When he passed Andrew his soda, I saw that Andrew was flirting with Lisa Simpson. "Tell yer brother to keep his paws off of me girl." He said.
Colin slid me a bottle full of grape soda and holy moly, it was strong! As I drank, I felt that I was being watched. I turned and my heart stopped. A pretty teen chick was looking me over from her seat on the other side of the pub. Colin chuckled. "I see what's going on, lad. You're going money-eyed for that cute little lady." He said. How could I not? She was freakin' gorgeous! She had straight blond hair, with a green burette, a green dress, and green sneakers, which she pulled off as I continued to gawk at her. She walked up to me, her bare feet making soft thumps on the carpeted floor. She sat down next to me and looked into my eyes.
"Hey, cutie, what do they call you?" she asked. "My name is Noah, and you would be…?" I asked. "My name is Hayley. Would you mind taking a walk with me?" she asked. "No, I don't mind at all." I said, taking her hand. She stuffed her shoes in her backpack. "You don't mind, do you?" she asked. "No, I don't mind at all. I think you look even hotter barefoot." I said, whistling to prove my point. We walked to the park and behind a hill and fell flat on our backs.
"So, Noah, are you from around here?" Hayley asked. "No, I'm not. To tell you the truth, I come from an alternate world. In my world, this entire city is one popular TV show. My brother and I jumped through the TV, and came here." I said. "So, does that mean that you'll be going back soon?" Hayley asked. "Unfortunately, yes, my love, I must return to my world." I said. Hayley just lay there for a moment. Then, she sat up, looked at me, and kissed me.
"Wow that was exhilarating." I said. "Run with me, my love." Hayley said. We ran until we found an abandoned warehouse. We went inside. It was dimly lit. "Hayley, don't try anything on me. I'm Catholic." I said. "I won't. I just brought you here so I could get one kiss before you go." Hayley said.
We kissed. Hayley started to cry. "Don't cry, Hayley, I will return, count on it." I said. I gave her my cell phone number, she gave me her address for when I returned, and then I ran to find my brother. I saw that he was at Lake Springfield. He was trying to impress Lisa Simpson. I told him that she was already dating, but he never listened. I saw that he had a vacuum connected to a tanker. He turned it on and in minutes, the lake was completely cleaned.
I was impressed. Then I saw Colin with a blow dart tube. I saw that it was aimed at my brother. I ran up and stood in front of him. "Colin, don't do it." I said. "Your brother keeps hitting on Lisa and I'm sick of it. He will die. I socked him in the jaw. "Don't you dare dart my brother." I said. Lisa stared at me. "Colin tried to dart Andrew?" she asked "Yes, Lisa. Your boyfriend isn't as pure as he seems." I said. To make a long story short, Lisa dumped Colin, who went bankrupt, and died a lonely boy three days later. At his funeral, Lisa, Bart, Andrew, and I drew insulting words on his still face.
After the funeral, Lisa kissed Andrew good-bye and gave him her cell phone number. As they kissed again, a portal home opened up. "C'mon, Casanova, our ride home is here." I said, pulling my brother through the portal. "Lisa, call me! I'll be back soon. I love you!" he yelled. Lisa blew him a kiss. "I will count the days until when next we meet, my sweet." She said. Before I stepped through, I caught a glimpse of Hayley, her eyes full of sadness. I blew her a kiss. "I will return, Hayley, I swear it." I said. Then I stepped through the portal home.