Title: Crash & Collide

Summary: When it's revealed that Draco Malfoy has creature blood, Harry immediately assumes he's a Veela and decides to court him. Easy. So, why is he being constantly rejected when he's following the ultimate Veela book by the T? post-war. eventual H/D. mpreg.

Warning(s): UST. mature content. humor. fluff. mpreg. strong language.

Pairing(s): eventual Harry/Draco. established Ron/Hermione.

Genre: Romance/Humor

Author's Note: This will be a bit more fast paced than I usually do and long so enjoy that. Oh, there may or may not be mpreg, I dunno yet (what do you think?) but *blushes* review, please?

I welcome you to Gillard's Guide to Courting a Veela; I guarantee that you will have your Veela by the end of this book. I have all the secrets and tricks to make a Veela fall head over heels over even the ugliest, meanest, heartless human on this earth! All you have to do is follow this book, word for word, step by step, and you shall have your Veela!

Harry never thought he would achieve a sense of normalcy after the war, constant visits with reporters, admirers, and stalkers prevented him from doing that. It took him one year, eight days, nine hours, thirty minutes and ten seconds to have a normal day when his name wasn't mentioned once in the Daily Prophet.

It had all started with Draco Malfoy.

It felt surreal, almost, when Harry went downstairs, took the paper from the owl's beak and read the big, bold letters that would change his life even if he didn't know it yet.

Draco Malfoy's Blood Not So Pure After All?!

There it was with a picture of the blond looking as pristine and sharp as ever. It was a picture taken just after the trials where Harry had vouched for him and his parents. It was the last time he had seen the blond before he had disappeared behind the walls of his manor and Harry never had the courage again to try and contact them.

Nevertheless, Harry was grateful for the reprieve of the Prophet's insane allegations that caused onslaughts of letter from admirers and haters alike to fill his kitchen table. He relished the normalcy his morning had taken and flicked his wand, watching contentedly as the coffee pot turned on and the smell of coffee beans wafted through the kitchen.

He leaned against his chair, calmed by the light breeze and the burn of the rising sun coming from the open window on his skin. His eyes trained to the ceiling as his thoughts strayed back to the last year.

It had been a roller coaster, mostly, from good days to bad days and to some days where Harry just felt sick of it all and wanted it all to end. He was watched like a hawk, his every breath and every move being recorded. So, one could imagine how his love life failed under the spotlight.

He had tried—Merlin knew he tried—to get with Ginny but something didn't fit with her. The passion, the ache, the everything was gone—dead—and they both were left disappointed and saddened at the change in their feelings.

He was certain that she was the one who he would marry but when their attempt at sex only resulted in a wilted cock and an angry ginger they had agreed to stay friends and it got Harry to think not about his love life but himself.

It seemed the public was more saddened with the news than they were and Harry almost felt tempted to grind his teeth and be miserable for the rest of his life with someone he didn't love just so the letters would stop. But he didn't; they had separated and Harry truly began to wonder what he wanted.

He had never truly connected with any girl, actually, except for Hermione but he only saw her as a friend. Cho was cute, sure, but her kisses were wet and made his stomach turn while the only other girl he was ever with was Ginny and that turned out great.

Harry was positive that he was gay.

This revelation was still fresh, a month fresh—as fresh as his break up with Ginny and he wasn't sure what to do with it. But he was sure that he was gay. He liked blokes and by extension cocks.

Merlin.

Harry sighed, his eyes flitting back to the picture of Malfoy with platinum blond hair that was immaculate and gorgeous, his nose pointed and his pink lips upturned in a tiny frown. Jesus, just looking at Malfoy made his loins stir.

He needed a pet or something.

Harry groaned loudly, slamming a hand on top of the newspaper as he tried to rid the images from his head of Malfoy on a leash as he stood just in time for the coffee to be done.

"What am I doing?" He muttered as he walked around the table to the counter. He opened the cabinet above the sink to grab his favorite mug and filled it with hot, steaming coffee. He blew on it before taking a sip, sighing in relief as warmth instantly filled him and calmed his frazzled nerves.

He walked back over to table and sat heavily in his seat, his eyes trained on the paper and he truly didn't know what to make of it. Did he really care to read exactly what Malfoy was up to these days or would he keep his nose out of his business?

He felt his obsession for the blond building the longer he stared at the picture, the way his eyes were glazed over as if haunted and the way he clenched his hands as if restraining himself.

Harry had always been drawn to Malfoy and this time was no different, he needed to know. He felt petty for it as he set his coffee on the table with a soft thud and picked up the paper, his eyes greedily reading every detail.

…Draco Malfoy has been revealed to have creature blood in his veins though it has not been stated what type of creature he is…

Harry snorted at that, it was obvious what creature he was now that he thought about it. Malfoy couldn't be anything but a Veela with his blond hair and grey eyes, it was a wonder why no one had fawned over him during Hogwarts. Did male Veelas even have allures?

But just looking at Malfoy again brought back, long hidden emotions that he had forced himself to forget. Anger, rage, hate, attraction, lust, passion. He never denied it before and he wouldn't deny it now, he wanted Malfoy. Badly.

"We're coming in!" Harry dropped the paper instantly at the jovial greeting as both his best friends entered his kitchen at that moment, hand in hand. This was almost like a morning ritual for them and one that Harry looked forward to every morning.

His best friends hadn't changed a bit since Hogwarts, Ron was still gangly and tall with a loud and brash exterior while Hermione was still bushy-haired—though, a bit tamer—with a studious attitude. He was grateful to have them both in his life.

Ron waved at him as he walked past him and straight to the refrigerator where he opened it wide and began to rummage through it, trying to find something edible. Harry shook his head in amusement before he turned back to his other best friend.

"Good Morning, Harry." Hermione greeted him, smiling at him as she slipped into a seat across from him.

"Morning, Mione." Harry said with a smile, picking up his coffee for a sip. "Coffee?" He waved the mug in front of her and she pushed it away.

Hermione made a noise of disgust before she said, "You know I don't drink that poison, you should know it's horrible for your health, Harry."

Harry shrugged, taking another sip. "It's the only thing that keeps me going for the day." He watched as Ron appeared next to him with a plate that held a sandwich and pickles on the side and he snorted.

"Did you just make that or magic?" Harry asked, his eyes looking at him knowingly as Ron bit into his sandwich.

"Magic," Ron replied after he swallowed, grinning proudly at Hermione who nodded at him approvingly. "I'm starving."

"Lazy arse." Harry grinned as Ron merely shrugged going back to his sandwich.

Hermione sighed hopelessly before her eyes landed on the Prophet paper that lay on the table. She narrowed her eyes in disapproval at the sight.

"What is it today?" Hermione asked, irritated, for she knew how the Prophet loved to put her best friend in the most asinine situation for their sales.

"Nothing," Harry shook his head, sliding the paper across the table to her and watched as she picked it up and gasped in surprise. He almost felt proud that the limelight wasn't on him even if it were for a day.

"Malfoy…?" Hermione asked, her eyes lifting from the page to meet Harry's.

Harry nodded, his finger circling the rim of his mug in thought. "Yep."

"And he's a…?" Hermione continued with wide eyes.

"Yep."

"That is very rare!" Hermione finally said coherently snapping out of her shock.

"Yep." Harry sighed; he knew it was beyond rare to have creature blood in someone's blood unless it was a Veela or giant. That only proved to Harry even more that Malfoy was no doubt a Veela. "I think he's a Veela."

"Wait, what are we talking about?" Ron asked, finally, he had quickly finished his meal so he could try and follow along with their conversation.

Hermione ignored him and answered Harry instead, "You think so?"

"You don't?" Harry asked in return with a frown.

"Well," Hermione began as she neatly folded the edge of the paper in thought. "He could be anything really. It is rare but not impossible to be a different creature than Veela."

"But his appearance; blond hair and grey eyes…" Harry said, he didn't know why he was so adamant for Malfoy to be a Veela but his mind was set on it.

"It could be totally irrelevant to his creature blood," Hermione explained promptly. "Male veelas are as rare as creature blood, Harry!"

"Well, lookit here we have both!" Harry said, pushing the newspaper towards Hermione.

"He's only a creature; he could be anything, an ogre for all I know!" Hermione argued back, pushing back the newspaper.

"Ew, please, Hermione don't make me barf my coffee. Malfoy is too pretty to be an ogre." Harry said, put his hands up for Hermione to stop.

"I'm just saying it's a possibility that he could be any type of creature." Hermione said, crossing her arms.

"Well, I think that he's a Veela." Harry said, confidently.

"Well, I think that he's any type of creature." Hermione said just as confidently.

"Uh...guys…" Ron began, tentatively, looking between the two and the tension that surrounded them.

"Veela." Harry said firmly, pushing the newspaper back at her.

"Creature." Hermione replied just as stubbornly, roughly pushing the paper back at Harry.

"Veela!"

"Creature!"

"What do you think, Ron?" They both suddenly said turning to the frozen red-haired who looked at them both in horror.

"Err, well, maybe, Harry can be right…" He quickly stopped when Hermione glared at him. "B-but Hermione could also be right...Oh, I give up!" He threw his hands in the air when Harry began to glare at him and he knew this was one situation he wouldn't win either way.

"Well, I think he's a Veela and I'm going to prove it to you." Harry said, grabbing the newspaper to look at Malfoy. His eyes taking everything about the blond in almost as if he was memorizing him.

"And how are you going to do that?" Hermione asked with a glare, crossing her arms.

Harry smiled, his fingers ghosting over Malfoy's pale form and he knew he was insane and all normalcy that he would have would be thrown out of the window if he spoke his next words but, maybe, it would be worth it.

"I'm going to court Malfoy." He stated softly and Hermione's anger instantly morphed into shock as she gasped in surprise at his words.

"You what?!" Ron shouted, his ears turning red instantly and a grimace forming on his face. "Mate, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," He said, swatting away Ron's hands that was nearing his forehead as he looked up at the two. "Look, Ginny and I didn't get on well—"

"You guys didn't give it enough time!" Ron protested immediately as he always did when this certain topic came up and Harry let out a harsh breath.

"My cock was dead while we were having sex, Ron!" Harry said loudly. "What more do you want so we can decide that it was enough time!"

Ron's face colored at the thought of his best mate and his little sister doing the dirty while Hermione coughed in her hand, obviously hiding a smile that had formed on her face.

"So, you're gay?" Ron asked, tentatively, and Harry sighed as he nodded.

"Yeah, I think I am." He leaned back against his chair and looked between the two. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"Of course not," Ron said before he crossed his arms. "I just don't understand why you're gay for Malfoy."

"Well, I think everyone should be tolerant of who someone loves, whether male or female." Hermione said as if reciting a passage from a book.

"He doesn't love Malfoy, Hermione." Ron said with a nervous chuckle. "He just wants to experiment, right mate?" Ron looked as if he passed out if Harry did say he was in love with Malfoy.

"Yeah," Harry said, distractedly, his eyes trained to the Malfoy's picture. "Something like that, look, don't Veelas mate for life? I want that. I want to see if someone, anyone could love me."

"And Malfoy was your first choice?" Ron asked with a scowl. "Wonderful."

"Well, if you're going to court Malfoy you need to know something about his creature even if he's a Veela," She quickly added when Harry opened his mouth to protest. "Many creatures have predestined mates but I know Veelas choose their mates after the courting process."

Harry paled at that, "Courting process? I don't know one thing about courting."

"That's why you have me here." Hermione said as she pulled out her wand and summoned a book. She placed it on table and slid it over to Harry. "That will tell you everything about Veela's courting traditions since each creature have different ones. I will bring you other creature books tomorrow."

Harry looked at her skeptically as he picked up the book and read the title aloud, "Gillard's Guide to Courting a Veela?"

Ron gasped and leaned forward to get a better look. "That's the ultimate veela book, mate. Bill has one. That's how he got with Fleur."

Harry raised an eyebrow and looked back at the simple cover with the title and nothing else. "Doesn't look like much."

"Well, it is." Hermione snapped, her lips thinning. "It costs a fortune and I assure you that if Malfoy is a Veela, he will be yours by the end of the book."

"How do you know that?" Harry asked in return, skeptically.

"It's guaranteed." Hermione said, confidently.

"Oh, that's reassuring." Harry wondered if this was truly a good idea as he looked between his best friends's confident faces and the small book in his hands.

. . . .

After Hermione and Ron had left, Harry prolonged his visit to Malfoy Manor by tidying up his living room, writing a letter to Luna and taking a long bath. By the time it was three, he knew it was now or never if he wanted to do this.

He sighed as he pulled on a long black coat and looked around his room one last time before he apparated right in front of the Malfoy's door. He knew the Malfoy's had been banned from having any wards around their house after the war and it only made it easier for them to be susceptible to attacks and threats but Harry made sure to end that type of behavior after it had happened the third time.

The wizarding world knew better now to never piss off Harry Potter.

He knocked on the door three times and after the third knock it opened slowly to reveal a slightly surprised Narcissa Malfoy.

Harry had warmed up to her immensely after she had saved his life and he found out soon that she only had her family's interest at heart and she wasn't half that bad when she wasn't like a cold, stuck up bitch.

"Mr Potter, what a surprise. Though," Narcissa paused with a slight grimace. "After today's paper I shouldn't be surprised at all."

"Hello, Mrs Malfoy, it's been a while hasn't it?" He greeted her as if he was seventeen again and not almost twenty. He stepped through the doorway and entered the mansion, taking it all in. It hadn't changed much from when he was last here, maybe, it seemed homier, or, maybe, that was because an insane dark lord wasn't inhabited in it.

"It has, a year I believe," She looked him over. "You haven't changed a bit, I see."

"You're radiant as ever." He replied cordially before he asked, "You said that you shouldn't be surprised by my visit?"

Narcissa sighed, running a hand through her hair a sight that Harry never thought someone as regal as Narcissa could ever do. "We have had five courters already this morning asking to court Draco due to that news in the Prophet."

"And?" Harry asked, trying to hide his anxiety. "Did he?"

"Of course not," Narcissa tipped her nose and sniffed. "They were weak and horribly bred but you…" She looked at him, critically. "You shall do."

Harry took it as the best compliment she would ever give him as she motioned for him to follow her and he did, falling in step with her as she led him into a living room. "Draco, you have a guest."

Harry stood stock still as he caught sight of his ex-arch nemesis; he was standing near the fireplace where he wore a white dress shirt and a pair of black slacks, his platinum hair was free of gel and flowed freely around his face and his gray eyes, silver and shining, turned to him and he felt something that he never felt before, something warm and inviting like a pull.

Malfoy raised his eyes to the ceiling and sighing a long suffering sigh as he said, "Mother, I told you do not answer the door for the desperate ones."

All too quickly the feeling was gone and Harry was left cold.

"Well, hello to you too, Malfoy." Harry snapped with a glare and he wondered if it would be all worth it in the end. Malfoy was hot but not that hot. He could go to any type of gay club and find a good fuck buddy.

But he knew that wasn't true, he wasn't looking for a one time fling, he was looking for a long time commitment, call him crazy but he knew Malfoy was the one. He had never felt as passionate or real with anyone but the blond.

"Potter, what are you doing here?" Malfoy asked with a sneer, looking at him warily.

"I've obviously come to see if it's true." Harry said, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Of course, it's true." Malfoy snapped, rolling his eyes. "That's why I sent that little tip to the Prophet in the first place."

"You sent that to the papers?" Harry asked, incredulously. "Why?"

"Because I want to find a mate," Malfoy replied before he added, "I didn't think it would bring you here."

"Well, if you must know I'm looking for a lifelong partner as well and my head has this crazy notion that it's you." Harry replied in his defense.

"Well, Potter, I don't think I want you!" Malfoy snapped back. "How could you think this would ever work? We fight like cat and dog."

"Well, if you weren't such a prick every hour of every day, maybe, there would be something to like about you." Harry pointed out with a growl.

"I'm only a prick because you're an idiotic moron." Malfoy shouted back.

"Moron? You're the moron; I'm the best offer you'll ever get!" Harry replied just as loudly.

"You wished you could have me, Potter, but keep dreaming!"

"Prick!"

"Buttwipe!"

"Dung Face!"

"Four-Eyes!"

"That's not even a proper insult!" Harry said, throwing his hands in the air. He was stupid to think that this could work; he blamed his obsession with the blond that clouded his judgment. Malfoy was merely an arse that didn't deserve his love.

"It is when you're Harry bloody Potter!" Malfoy retorted, Harry sighed and he suddenly felt silly for fighting with Malfoy like they were children.

"Look, we're fighting like we're back in Hogwarts; we're adults, why don't we act like it?" Harry offered, trying to reign in his anger. "You Slytherins like mutual benefits, right? I'm rich and powerful, I can give you strong heirs. Just give me a chance to court you." Despite everything, he still wanted to try this with Malfoy; he couldn't explain it but something was there. Something powerful and deep and passionate.

Malfoy looked at him long and hard, seriously, debating the pros and cons of allowing him to court him. "Alright, but only because the other courters were pathetic. Come back tomorrow and we'll talk more."

Harry gave him a wide grin, his heart thumping wildly at Malfoy's agreement. He didn't know why but he felt that he had to have Malfoy, it confused him. "Great, I'll be here."

"Don't come if you plan to disappoint." Malfoy called after him as he walked out of the room.

"Don't worry," Harry gave him a confident grin. "I won't." He had Gillard on his side and he would without a doubt court a Veela—after all, it was guaranteed.

. . . .