Heya guys! Welp, I have two more assignments to do, but don't worry! I'll finish 'em soon! TT7TT
So...I heard that Dangan Ronpa a.k.a. Trigger Happy Havoc, was released to the US and SDR2 will release at Fall for them on the PS Vita! :D I personally won't buy it since I don't have a PS Vita or have the money, but watching it on YouTube will be my solution. XD
Either way, in the English version, there are obviously some differences, but some of them are quite nice. And thanks to it, I now like the idea of Naegi x Ishimaru. XD
Still, I find myself writing something sad instead. Why?! TTnTT well, it was mainly due to the Trigger Happy Heart event where you have the option to Affirm or Negate the person you choose's inner thoughts. Ishimaru's one really played on his more self-depreciating side to his lack of social skills and fear of being a nuisance to people around him.
Key:
"Example." = normal
"Example." = thoughts
"Example." = flashback
"Example." = important
Anyway, I hope you enjoy~
"Or am I just being unforgivably selfish?"
"No, you're not being selfish."
"Wh…?! Naegi! …listen, you don't have to lie to me."
"I'm not."
"…but isn't it annoying to have someone force their beliefs on you?"
"It's not annoying, and you're not forcing anything. Everyone wants a friend that they can tell all their thoughts and feelings to. It's normal."
"It…it is?!"
"So, you don't have to keep trying to hold it in, honestly."
"I see…it would appear my education is still lacking! Thank you, Naegi; for showing me how much more I still have to learn! Even being trapped here, if you just give up, then you can never really grow. Let's find whatever mental escape we can in here, and just focus on that!"
At least, that was what he had said before.
Before the whole calamity that happened.
Well, truthfully every death that had occurred was a tragedy, at least to him, however this one in particular had shaken him to the very core when it happened and he saw him.
Saw his body lying so still in such a mangled position; no longer was it bursting with enthusiasm or placed in that straight, proper posture. Nor will it ever again. His eyes were closed, though he felt that that was for the best – if they were open, he most likely would've just looked away. He didn't want to see a pair of empty, hollow orbs that were once shining rubies with a spark of enthusiasm burning within them. His already pale skin was ice cold to the touch – what little warmth remained disappearing in a heartbeat.
Before he knew it, the sight of his body flashed again in his mind like a piece in a horror film.
…the mangled position.
…the crimson eyes that will never open again.
…the blood that soaked his dark hair and slowly spread around like a sickening red pool.
…how he'll never speak in that firm, loud and authoritative voice ever again.
He was in the garden right now. Sitting a good and safe distance away from that large, suspicious looking plant. The chickens were clucking among themselves and flapping about every so often. Other than that, it seemed like a peaceful place if you disregard the plant-life that may or may not be as dangerous as was told by the heartless jailer.
'He would've loved it here,' he thought to himself as he pressed his back against the coop and gazed upward.
The sky was fake; simply painted on, he was told. Still, he wondered what the sky was really like behind it. Would it be rainy? Would it be cloudy? Was the sun still shining brightly?
Whatever the sky was like outside, he was certain that if he were here with him right now, he'd be wondering the same thing before promptly getting into a discussion about the weather.
"Is it fair of me to do something like that…?"
"What's wrong with that?"
"Nn…? Wh-what are you talking about?"
"You don't have to think of it like you're forcing anything on anyone. Try thinking of it like…you're just telling me about yourself. That's all I want."
"N-Naegi! I can't tell you how much that means to me! Honestly, I really appreciate it! But! But still…"
"Taka?"
"What I'm haunted by…it's not the kind of thing where I tell you a story about myself, and it has an ending and that's it. The things I want to say, it's just me pointlessly droning on about how I think and feel. I'm just going on and on about my values and morals, without any real point to it. And if you're the person listening…isn't that just one giant nuisance?"
"If they're your friend, it's not a nuisance at all! To me, a friend is someone who can accept that kind of thing. Don't you think so?"
"…I…for everything I've learned up 'till now…what have I been missing out on? Listen, Naegi. If it's okay…would you mind being that kind of person? Someone I can talk to once in a while?"
"Of course! It would be my pleasure!"
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"You were supposed to talk to me. To confide in me how you felt, and what you wanted to say. But you didn't."
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When the second trial was over and the punishment had been handed out, he was never the same again.
Of course, he couldn't blame him – to have someone you cared about a lot getting executed was a practical stab in the heart. And what really added salt to the wound was that the punishment was far too cruel, even for someone who took somebody else's life away, it was just that gruesome and shocking a sight to see. Even he had to divert his eyes away as his stomach crawled unpleasantly.
However, he saw him watch the whole thing.
Saw him watch, saw the hot tears that instantly leaked from out of his eyes as they rapidly flowed down his flushed cheeks like raindrops on a stormy day. He had screamed and yelled; voice rising higher and higher in anguish at what was happening, before cracking slightly in a fever pitch. His voice had actually caused a number of them to flinch just from the raw emotion detected in it. Even Togami had darted his eyes momentarily in his direction with a slight quirk of the eyebrow.
Once it was over, he seemed to have just done that, though.
He gave up.
He wouldn't utter a word, he wouldn't listen to a word that anyone else was saying as Hina had tried talking to him but to no avail, and he seemed to work like a machine; only moving if prompted by another person manually. His eyes were misty and glazed – the flame that had once blazed around from within was undetectable when he himself tried to talk to him.
A few times, he could've sworn he saw that swirl of fire spark for a moment, even for a little moment when he tried to engage in a conversation with him, and when he tried to start the fire that had once burned so brilliantly from within him. It certainly ignited the hope from within him as he tried to remind him of what he had told him. To never give up, and to keep going forward for today was a new day. Those words had always inspired him, and he tried to get him inspired by the very words he uttered as he repeated what he said.
But it didn't work.
He wouldn't listen to even his own words.
He was just that broken.
And it truly upset him to see him in such a defeated state. To see such a strong, passionate and confident person crumble into just a broken shell of the man he once was.
But what truly upset him more was that lack of communication. That pushing everyone away just by being unresponsive.
'I'm your friend, too, right?' he thought to himself as he squeezed his eyes shut. 'You promised that you would tell me how you feel, and that I was that person who you'd talk to when you wanted. Why didn't you just talk to me?!' his hand instantly formed into a tight fist as his whole body began to quiver.
He would've been happy if he yelled and screamed at him; he would've even been delighted if he broke down crying right on his shoulder – he definitely didn't mind that. He just wanted him to show that he was still functioning. He would do anything to help comfort him, make him better and show him that he wasn't alone in this cruel, twisted world.
That there was someone who loved him.
Now that he thought about it a bit more, it was unfair to be angry or demand something from him especially given his state. He certainly gave a few reactions when he tried communicating with him. However, of course the pain and trauma of losing a close friend, who you're bound to at the hip to, wouldn't go away so easily. It would take time; usually loads of it to heal away the pain. But even then, he knew that there would be scars remaining on his being over that loss. Maybe he was still trying to battle that despair that had swelled from within him for losing a friend in such a merciless manner. Or maybe he was just shutting everyone else away because he was afraid it would happen again, and he couldn't bear the thought of losing another close friend.
Either way, he truly just needed time.
Too bad that it wasn't on anyone's side.
The only person with that pain and healing scars was him in the end. Here he was sitting alone at the school gardens contemplating everything that had happened, and quietly trying to heal himself over the painful jolt of how life was easily able to be snatched away as he was given no chance to do so before the third trial had occurred that involved his death. Hina and Oogami were concerned for his well-being, that he was thankful for, but he truly needed some time alone to recall the moments that they had shared together, as well as compose himself. Hagakure seemed confused, but left him as well. Togami of course didn't have any ounce of sympathy or concern, and Fukawa was off to chase him as always. Kirigiri herself had seemed to have disappeared, but even then, he knew that she would straightforwardly try and get him to his feet – give him the realistic approach that grieving wouldn't bring him back, like when he grieved over the death of Maizono upon discovering her body, as well as throughout most of the first trial as he tried to find her killer.
But that was the thing, though – he was unsure in the end if Maizono ever liked him or wanted to be his friend in the first place. She had used him, and was intending to pin the blame on him the first round. However with him, it was different. He was certain that the feelings of fondness they had and shared with another was true and real.
He was a real person.
A real person that was now gone.
And he wanted just a moment, even if small, to grieve a bit over his unexpected passing. Such a person who was so real and so true deserved that, right?
He definitely won't be forgotten. He would make sure of that. Though he would make sure everyone who was gone so unfairly wouldn't be forgotten, there was a special place in his heart and story that was for him and only him.
Giving another calming, deep breath, he rose to his feet and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. Eyes were lowered to the ground as for once, a small smile had twitched at the corners of his lips.
Since when was the last time that even he of all people smiled? This place was really starting to wear him down, even for an optimist like him.
No, he couldn't give up. Definitely not now. He shouldn't give up. Not for the disgusting amusement of that dreadful monster pulling the strings. He wasn't going to give up – he had to continue: for everyone that was still alive, for everyone that had died…
And especially, for him.
He couldn't carry out his dreams as a politician; he wasn't sure if he had the passion or the drive. But for sure, he would definitely carry out his ideals and morals and spread word of them to everyone else around him once he got out. That was another way that he would never be forgotten and for him to not just be left here in this dreadful place.
"You'll never be forgotten, Taka. No way. I won't allow it."
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"We spent some very meaningful time together! Every day should be more like this! A day like today will never come around again. But then again…no two days are really ever the same. Well, I'll never regret the time I spent with you. We have to live each day to its fullest!"
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The end.
I'll be honest - I actually felt upset while writing this out - Ishimaru is my favourite guy (Naegi being my 2nd favourite). :( in the English version, Naegi calls him Taka, and I always found that adorable. Either way, I always thought that the events of Chapter 2 were the most tragic, as it could've easily been prevented if given certain precautions, or certain scenarios happened instead (e.g. somebody spoke up and agreed with Ishimaru to reveal secrets - it might've given Fujisaki the courage to go forth if several people do it first; Oowada maybe requesting or bringing Ishimaru along to the secret workout - could've easily had different circumstances happening which I might write down someday; Naegi's free-time or Trigger Happy Heart events having influence - might prevent Ishimaru from becoming broken, or get Fujisaki to open up after some encouragement). It's all just wishful thinking, though. TTnTT
Anyway, I don't usually even write sad stuff, but I just felt like it for this particular thing.
Peace out!
- Hebi-Kazechi-10