Carrie And Alex - The Break Up

by neveryoumindmissy

Carrie loves him so, but does not feel it is working. I obviously don't know the details on their breakup, and as this is fanFICTION, it will not be accurate xxx I have always loved their relationship, but I respect them both for their choices. 3 xxxxxxx

Carrie POV

My stomach is churning whilst I am sitting on the edge of the sofa, waiting for Alex to come back from work.

I feel terrified, not of Alex, but of how it might affect him. I want to end this.

I love him, yes I do, but in my heart I know this is not working, this is not right.

He is an amazing man, an amazing friend, but he is just not for me.

We have been together many times, and I feel this is enough. He says he has changed, he has. But just not in the way he said he would.

Terrified. Terrified how he will take this, he will think that it is his fault.

He mustn't, this is my choice. This is my fault.

I have to do this.

For me. For him.

I don't want to live with someone who I don't feel is right for me. There is no point.

I want to stay friends.

But I really don't know whether that will happen.

I'm so sorry Alex, I truly am.

Alex POV

I walk in through the back, I have a bunch of roses I don't want Carrie to see until I give them to her.

As I sort them into a vase, my mind wanders on to our future.

Will she stay with me?

I don't know.

Knowing me, I will mess it up again. I always do.

I have made so many mistakes over my life, I have broken promises and hurt her. Hurt her badly.

I never want that to happen again.

Carrie POV

I heard him come through the door, and I stayed where I was.

I did not want to look at him, surely I would break down.

I love him.

But I need to do this.

Should I do this?

Is this right?

I just don't know.

He walks in, and he is carrying a vase of deep pink roses.

My heart leaps, the pain in my chest increases.

He loves me.

He loves me so much.

Should I do this?

I begin to sob.

I hide my head in the cushions of the arm rest, I hear Alex quickly put the vase down.

Then he comes over, holds me close and rocks me until I stop.

Then I push him away.

Alex POV

My emotions are all over the place, I was so happy, so dazed, and now all of a sudden my heart is filled with worry.

Worry for Carrie.

I love her so.

But she pushed me away.

"Carrie? What is it?" I say softly, as I gather her back into my arms.

"I.." She gulps. "Sssshhh." I soothe, she is so beautiful.

Her eyes are a little puffy, I can see they are filled with anxiety... or is it expectancy?

I am not sure.

"I... We... I need to talk to you."

"I'm here baby, right here." My voice is still gentle, but this seems to make her worse.

She does not say anything for a while, my mind is filled with questions.

Who was it? What is it? What happened?

Then my eyes widen as I realise what.

Carrie POV

Looking into his eyes, I am confused.

He looks so happy, his smile slowly creeps up and up, his cheeks blush.

"Carrie!" He exclaims. "Are you...?"

"Don't say it. Please, please don't say it." I mope, my eyes to the floor.

"Pregnant?" He is so elated, he is beaming.

My heart drops.

I don't want to do this.

It will hurt too much.

But I have to.

Alex POV

"No... I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."

Carrie begins to sob once more, but this time she is pushing and shoving me away, she looks so young, so afraid.

My heart, which was filled beating so fast, has now slowed.

I see her in slow motion, her tears flowing down her face, her mouth wavering.

What is it?

What is it?

What is it?

"What is it?"I finally bring myself to say.

"Alex... I... I just don't think this is working."

My heart drops.

I love her.

But she does not love me.

Carrie POV

I can't do it.

I can't look him in the eyes.

I don't want to see the pain that will be written all over his face.

I run. I run into our bedroom, curl up on the bed, under the covers, and sing.

"On my own. Pretending he's beside me. All alone. I wait with him 'til morning. Without him. I feel his arms around me. And when I lose my way, I close my eyes

and he has found me. In the rain. The pavement shines like silver. All the lights. Are misty in the river. In the darkness, trees are full of starlight. And all I see is

him and me forever and forever. And I know it's only in my mind..."

I sung the only song I could think of, the song I sing in Les Miserables.

Eponine is alone, Eponine has no one. I feel so close to her.

Except I threw away the person I had.

Would she have done this if Marius were here?

I do not know.

My head is pounding, my heart is heavy and my stomach also.

I feel so terrible, I have hurt him so. Is this right?

But I have done it now.

I'm sorry.

I'm so so sorry.