It had been merely three days after the battle of Crait when the Resistance decided to land in the outer rim territory known as Lothal. The air felt cold as Rey awoke from her sleep. Lothal's seasons were mostly temperate, but as night fell, the air got colder with every passing minute. Rey wasn't used to such temperatures being she spent most of her life on Jakku. She only remembered feeling colder than what she was feeling on Starkiller Base.
She shuddered at the memory of Starkiller. Rey remembered feeling such a hatred for Ben during her time there.
Kylo, She thought, His name is Kylo, not Ben.
Rey couldn't help the hurt she felt when she thought back to their last encounter. Seeing him as she helped her friends board the Millennium Falcon had made her realize that the Ben she thought she could help wasn't there. Instead, Kylo Ren stood in his place taking what little light Ben Solo might have had with him. She didn't know what she felt anymore.
She had spent most of her time to herself trying to figure out what she was going to do. Master Luke was gone now leaving yet another hole in her heart. Finn had come up to talk to her from time to time, but he mostly left to go attend to Rose. Rey was actually quite happy her friend had found someone else to care for. She adored the friendship they shared, but seeing how Finn looked at Rose made her feel better knowing her friend was happy. Even Poe Dameron had tried to talk to her, but her remarks had been short and precise. She couldn't have anyone knowing of the heartbreak she was going through.
Rey got up from her cot to walk out and feel the cold air bite at her skin. She rather enjoyed the feeling since living on Jakku. She felt the air was whispering sweet nothings all around her body as she sat next to a small, green pond. She let her feet settle in the shallows of the water and watched the ripples form around her. That's when the air seemed to freeze. All sounds around her grew silent as she felt her bond open up.
He appeared by a rock close by her. His dark hair falling across his face making him look as though he just woke up. He was wearing a black tunic and black pants that were tight around his body showing off his muscular build. His eyes seemed pained as they realized that she was sitting mere feet away from him.
"It seems the force hasn't separated us quite yet." he said in a strained and tired voice.
She looked up from her spot and let her emotions flow through their bond. She let him feel the hurt and betrayal that she had been forced to feel everytime she thought of him. She tried to reach into his mind just so she could understand why he had let everything they had fall apart. He shut her out quickly, slamming down on his barriers.
"Why did you do it?" Rey questioned sending her anger through the bond, "Why can't you just accept the fact that you are conflicted with the light?" She said looking up and almost gasping at the fact he had sat next to her.
His voice shook with anger when he said, "Why couldn't you just let go? Those 'friends' of yours aren't worth it, and you know it."
Rey let out a sarcastic laugh as she said, "Says the man who choose to kill his master over some scavenger girl."
Kylo looked down as she said her peace. She could feel the conflict rise up in him once again. She knew she hit a sore spot within him. She didn't care though. She was letting all of her anger and hurt out onto him. She wanted him to feel the same pain he caused her to have.
Suddenly Kylo grabbed Rey's hands and looked her in the eyes. She felt electricity pulse through her body as his touch caressed her hands. Their bond was humming with pulsing energy all around them. Rey felt all of Kylo's emotions crashing into her like the force of a wave. She felt his anguish as he let the memory of them fighting over the lightsaber play in her mind. She could feel the hope in his heart as he pictured a life with her, a time of rebirth where both of them could live in harmony and maybe even be something more. Then, she felt the pain he felt when she rejected his offer.
He stared at her as she took in the overwhelming feelings moving in her. He started to draw small circles in her hand as he waited for her. Rey felt like her body was drowning yet floating. She was starting to feel the same warmth she felt while she was talking to him in the elevator. It was overtaking her body, consuming her every inch. She wanted nothing more than to reach over and touch the sharp line of his jaw or to tuck the strand of hair behind his ear.
He looked up from her hands and spoke softly, "I never meant to hurt you. Like I have said before, you mean something to me.", he continued with, " We have so much potential, Rey. We could be the strongest force in the galaxy if you could just let go."
"Ben, please. Please don't do this again." she whispered as she felt hot tears arriving.
He was about to speak again when Finn came rushing out into the opening. Kylo vanished in a second leaving Rey to feel even colder than before. Finn's eyes looked to Rey's with a frantic worry locked in them. She had hoped that she didn't wake anyone when she left the bunks, but it was clear she was wrong.
" Rey, are you okay?" He said watching her quickly get up from her stupor.
"I'm fine Finn, thank you for checking up on me."
"Who was that you were talking to just now?" He questioned
Rey froze in her tracks as he asked that. She couldn't let him know that she was just conversing with one of the deadliest men in the galaxy. No one knew about the bond she shared with Kylo. She promised she wouldn't let anyone know her secret due to her fear of being labeled a traitor to the resistance. She had to answer Finn somehow though.
Tell him you were thinking of different ways to fix the compressor on the Falcon.
Kylo's voice echoed in her mind as she realized she had been projecting her worry across their bond.
" I-I- was just trying to figure out how to fix that stupid compressor on the Falcon. I work better when I can think out loud." she said quickly.
Finn bought the lie and said, " Oh, well if you ever need help with that kind of stuff, Poe is a freaking genius when it comes to ships. If you ever just need to talk though, I'm here too. I can't imagine what it must have been like to battle with that monster again."
Rey felt sick at herself because in reality she wanted nothing more than to feel Ben's warm touch again. To look into those dark eyes and get lost in their bond together. She appreciated Finn for offering still to listen if she ever needed. She never had that on Jakku. All she had was herself, and her hope for her family to return.
"Thank you Finn. It's nice to know I still have you after all of this. I'm sorry if I woke you up."
"It's all good, in fact, I was going to wake you up anyways to inform you that the General wanted to speak with you. It sounded kind of urgent." Finn said.
Rey confirmed she already knew what the General wanted to speak about. She had told Leia and Finn of her time with Kylo only she left out their bond, and Kylo being the true culprit behind Snoke's death. Finn never questioned her, believing she had merely been captured and escaped once again. The general, however had seemed less convinced of Rey's story. Maybe it was because Leia knew her son wouldn't let just anyone escape twice from him and live. All Rey knew now was that there was still a chance for Ben, and she was going to give it to him one way or another.