Tonight on redsrule1:
Nine
couples:
Spike/Faith
Glory/Ben
Harmony/Giles
Clem/Buffy
Gunn/Cordelia
Lilah/Angel
Darla/Lindsey
Xander/Anya
Sebassis/Willow
One
winner.
Who will be the champions of the Demon world? YOU
will help to decide.
It's the premiere of:
Dancing With The Demons
Episode One, Part One
Music strikes a low, dramatic chord which is held throughout the opening announcements.
ANNOUNCER VOICE-OVER
First, nine
contestants did a week of intensive training at Teachers' Dance
Camp!
A montage of quick cuts taking place in a ballroom
dance studio
with wooden floors and mirrored walls:
ANGEL
dancing with a professional ballroom dance instructor.
GILES and
BUFFY chatting and laughing.
LINDSEY standing with an instructor,
listening as she explains a dance move to him.
CORDELIA plopping
into a plush chair, exhausted.
BEN standing alone on dance floor,
then GLORY, then BEN.
ANYA practicing moves by herself as she
watches in the dance studio mirror.
FAITH does a spin, then grabs
the instructor she's dancing with by the shoulders
and eyes him
sexily—he swallows uncomfortably.
WILLOW watches incredulously,
eyes wide, as an instructor shows her a move.
ANNOUNCER
VOICE-OVER cont.
Then, a demon's spell enhances their
abilities to make them experienced ballroom dance
instructors!
SWEET does a little "soft shoe" and a spin, stopping abruptly and thrusting his arms out toward the nine contestants. Little balls of light fly from his hands to the contestants' feet, engulfing them in an eerie, multicolored glow. The contestants begin dancing complicated routines with each other.
ANNOUNCER VOICE-OVER cont.
Finally, the
newly trained teachers met their students and spent the next four
weeks preparing for this night. Now they begin their quest to become
the top dancers of the demon world.
Who will emerge victorious?
This is Dancing With The Demons!
Cue lively Theme music which continues throughout the following dance pose sequence.
Pre-recorded shots of each couple in turn striking
dance poses as follows,
with dancer's names superimposed:
Ben
--? and Her Most Magnificent Glorificus
BEN, wearing a sharp
gunmetal grey suit, strikes a GQ pose and flashes a confident smile
at the camera. He morphs into GLORY, who rips off the tux with a
flourish to reveal a sexy, sparkly red dress and strikes a very
convincing pinup pose
William The Bloody and Faith
Lehane
SPIKE, in a sparkly black Latin shirt, puts his arm
around FAITH's waist. She is wearing a sequined green leotard and
short red skirt. He pulls her in tight and they gaze into each
other's eyes before turning their heads ever so slightly to look at
the camera out of the corner of their eyes with a confident
smirk.
Clem and Buffy Summers
BUFFY is wearing a
long yellow dress, and CLEM wears a white, billowy Latin shirt. She
tries to do a high leg kick to place her ankle on his shoulder, but
CLEM is ignoring her and smiles and waves cordially at the camera.
BUFFY falls, disappearing from view. CLEM looks after her, not quite
sure what just happened
Charles Gunn and Cordelia
Chase
GUNN, in a black tuxedo, twirls the silver-gowned
CORDELIA out to the side then back to him, wrapping her into his
arms. CORDELIA flashes an Oscar-winning smile, and GUNN nearly
matches it.
Xander Harris and Anyanka
XANDER,
looking somewhat less than at home in a standard tuxedo, and ANYA,
wearing a sparkly lavender gown, strike a simple pose in standard
dance hold. She has a serious "I'm going to grind our opponents
into the dust' look on her face. XANDER is grinning as if he just
told a wholly inappropriate joke at one of Giles' explanatory
sessions
Harmony Kendall and Rupert Giles
GILES,
in tux with top hat, takes HARMONY into an elegant dance
hold.
HARMONY starts to giggle. GILES rolls his eyes.
Lindsey
McDonald and Darla
LINDSEY wears a stylish black pinstripe
suit while DARLA faces him, wearing a slinky silver dress. LINDSEY's
smile is a confident sneer as he deftly rolls DARLA down into a back
bend, around, and up into a hugging pose. DARLA's smiling face
suggests that she's still trying to decide whether to eat Lindsey
and the audience or play the seductress
Lilah Morgan and
Angel
ANGEL, wearing a tux, sways LILAH, wearing an
attractive red ballgown, left and right,
then snaps her sharply to
his left side where she puts her arms around him and blows in his ear
before giving the camera a seductive smile. ANGEL, although smiling
for the camera, looks somewhat uncertain.
Archduke
Sebassis and Willow Rosenberg
SEBASSIS, wearing a dark suit
with red cape, lowers WILLOW, who wears a white evening gown,
sideways into a dip. WILLOW has a broad smile on her face, but her
widened eyes and raised eyebrows suggest that the spell may not have
entirely worked on her.
ANNOUNCER VOICE-OVER
Live,
from Hollywood, this is Dancing With The Demons!
Theme music ends
LORNE
Wearing a salmon-pink tuxedo, and
speaking into a hand-held microphone.
Hello, and welcome to the
premiere of Dancing With The Demons! I'm Lorne, your
host!
ILLYRIA
Standing next to LORNE, also speaking
into a hand-held mic,
and wearing an elegant blue evening gown
with black leather trim.
And I am Illyria, God-King Of The
Primordium.
LORNE
Heh. You certainly are! Tonight,
nine couples will begin a journey to see who are the hottest dancers
of the human and demon worlds! Each couple must consist of one human,
and one non-human. Partners, songs, and dances have all been assigned
by the Watchers' Council, in association with the law firm of Wolfram
& Hart, who will also tabulate and verify the scoring results.
Illyria, how does that scoring work?
ILLYRIA
You are
host of the ceremony yet you do not know its function?
LORNE
Forces
a smile at the camera and points at the teleprompter.
Tell our
viewers, Blueberry Muffin.
ILLYRIA
Blue--?
Looks
at LORNE and sees him pointing,
then cocks her head slightly and
stares intently at the teleprompter and camera
Each couple will
be required to dance one of two dances tonight. The Judges will
critique their performance and assign them a score from one to ten.
After all nine couples have danced, you, the viewer, shall vote for
the couples whom you believe should continue. The judges' scores
and viewers' votes will be combined, and the couple with the lowest
combined score will be eliminated in our "Results"
show.
Eyes brightening, turns to look at Lorne This will be more
interesting than I thought.
LORNE
smiling
weakly
Be that as it may, our first couple tonight has a history!
But then, don't they all?
Let's meet Xander Harris and
Anyanka!
Cut to montage of clips from private interviews
interspersed with clips from
rehearsals.
--------------------------------------------------------------
XANDER
interview
Well,
she walked out on me when she first saw that I was going to be her
partner.
--------------------------------------------------------------
XANDER
standing alone in a dance studio.
This studio, like all of the
studios in the show, has a large wooden floor surrounded by carpet
and a mirrored wall. The camera crew is against the wall opposite the
mirrors, situated to the side so that they do not pick up their
reflection on camera.
ANYA enters the room.
XANDER
spreading
his arms wide and walking toward ANYA to hug her.
Anya! You're
my partner! Cool!
ANYA whirls sharply on her heels and leaves
the room.
XANDER raises his hands palms up in a "what did I do?"
gesture.
XANDER
Looks directly at the camera and
grins sheepishly.
Well, you gotta admit, if she comes back, that
turn thing she just did on her heels will be a killer
move.
---------------------------------------------------------------
ANYA
interview
Well,
when I got to the studio and found out who my partner was, I turned
around and walked out. But then I thought it over for a while and
decided that I needed to get over my anger so that I could grow as a
person. I mean
demon.
------------------------------------------------------------------
ANYA sits in an office with the PRODUCER of the show and his LAWYER
ANYA
I won't do it. I'm not doing this if
he's my partner.
PRODUCER
But Anya, baby, it'll be
fun! You'll have a great time!
ANYA
Absolutely not!
Not with him!
LAWYER
Let me remind you, Anyanka,
that we have a contract. It says we can pair you with whomever we see
fit. If you don't participate, you'll be in breach of
contract.
ANYA
So what?
LAWYER
So
you forfeit all monies already paid to you and any future salary or
prize money.
PRODUCER
And that's a lot.
ANYA
Is
he still at the dance
studio?
----------------------------------------------------------------
XANDER
interview
But
then she came back. Couldn't resist the Xan man, I
guess.
------------------------------------------------------------------
ANYA
interview
I
decided to let bygones be bygones, isn't that what you humans do? I
am not holding a
grudge.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Rehearsal
Clip
XANDER and ANYA stand together in the dance studio wearing
casual clothes.
ANYA faces XANDER.
ANYA
You're
actually gonna show up for the performance, right? Not gonna leave
just before we go on?
Maybe we should ask to go first so you don't
change your mind.
XANDER rolls his
eye.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
XANDER
interview
The
dancing's all right, but sometimes I have trouble with the whole
depth perception thing.
I mean a creep like Warren could build a
whole girl, why couldn't I get a bionic eye or something?
I mean,
it could have X-ray vision. grins Or you know, laser beams. Or?
--Or? --Oh, yeah! Laser x-rays. How cool would that be,
huh?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rehearsal
Clip
XANDER and ANYA stand in dance poses facing each other.
Music begins.
XANDER dance-runs toward ANYA, arms outstretched to
catch her.
He misses, running right past her. ANYA looks after
him,
puzzled.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
XANDER
interview
I
mean, I'm just sayin. Maybe that could be stealthy hand swoop
slipped into the
budget?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rehearsal
Clip
XANDER and ANYA dancing. They release their hold and do a
series of twirls down the floor.
They stop, and XANDER reaches out
to catch ANYA's hand but pokes her in the face
instead.
ANYA
Ow!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rehearsal
Clip
XANDER and ANYA stand in dance poses facing each other.
Music begins.
XANDER dance-runs toward ANYA, arms outstretched to
catch her.
He runs into her, knocking her
down.
ANYA
Ow!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rehearsal
Clip
XANDER and ANYA dancing, XANDER leading, ANYA dancing
backward in standard hold. They dance closer and closer toward the
camera, finally crashing into it. The camera falls over with a loud
clatter, and we now see a sideways picture of XANDER sitting on the
floor, rubbing his head.
ANYA
From
offscreen.
Ow!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
ANYA
interview
It's
a good thing lifts are
illegal.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
XANDER
interview
And
I don't know who picked the music, but that, and the choreography,
I
think she's trying to do a vengeance thing.
Pause I know
this is a vengeance
thing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
ANYA
interview
I
have not allowed our past history to affect our dancing in any way. I
want to win this competition.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Montage ends.
ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Waltz: Xander Harris
and Anyanka!
ANYA stands at the top of the stage which sits
three stairs up from the dance floor.
She is wearing a long, white
ballgown and a bridal veil.
She holds a bouquet of flowers, and
her back is to the dance floor.
XANDER, wearing a traditional black tuxedo, white shirt with black bow tie and cummerbund, stands at the foot of the stairs. He has a fake smile plastered onto his face, but his overall expression is one of "I can't believe I let her talk me into this."
"Anniversary Song" by Pat Boone begins to play.
ANYA tosses her
bouquet over her head and behind her back. It lands at the far end of
the dance floor.
She turns and descends the stairs, then
dance-runs to XANDER, who takes her into dance position.
The
begin to dance, doing standard Waltz moves,
turning left and right
as they progress around the floor.
They release their dance
hold and both do a series of twirls down the dance floor.
They
stop, and ANYA reaches out to catch XANDER's hand.
They return to
dance position and continue dancing.
As the music swells to
its final climax, they stop dancing at the foot of the stairs.
They
release dance position and ANYA turns and runs away from XANDER.
She
runs to the bouquet of flowers and kneels down on the floor to pick
them up, cradling them in her arms as the music stops.
The
CROWD cheers wildly. XANDER walks up behind ANYA and helps her to her
feet,
and they walk to the side of the dance floor where LORNE now
stands alone.
LORNE
Well, that was a pretty dance!
Let's take a moment to meet our three judges.
First of all,
representing the human world, all the way from the afterlife, our
head judge, Mr. Wesley Wyndham-Price!
WESLEY, dressed in a suit, sits at the center of a long table just in front of where LORNE now stands. To WESLEY's right sits DRUSILLA, dressed in a black dress, and to his left sits OZ, wearing a suit jacket over a T-shirt.
WESLEY
Thank you, Lorne. It's an honor
to be here.
LORNE
And representing the demon world,
the lovely Drusilla!
DRUSILLA
swaying side to side
Make them dance all pretty for us, Lorne.
LORNE
I'm
not a miracle worker, Pumpkin.
Last but not least, bridging the
gap between the human and demon worlds, our third judge, the talented
Daniel Osbourne.
OZ
Hey.
LORNE
Welcome,
judges. Wesley, tell us, just what are we looking for in a
Waltz?
WESLEY
Well, Lorne, we're looking for smooth
motion, turns, long steps, and lots of movement.
LORNE
And
did we get that from Xander and Anya?
WESLEY
Not
entirely, I'm afraid. CROWD boos. WESLEY looks at the audience,
startled, then shakes them off and returns his attention to LORNE.
Xander's movements, although adequate, were somewhat stiff. And Anya
actually appeared to be doing most of the work.
CROWD boos again.
WESLEY frowns at them.
LORNE
Drusilla, what did you
think?
DRUSILLA
The bouquet wilts with tears. There
is sadness.
Also, they will not score well enough to place first
this week.
LORNE
Um, okay. Oz?
OZ
It
was fine.
Pause.
LORNE
Okay. You two go on
backstage and meet with Illyria while the judges consider their
scores.
Cut to backstage room where ILLYRIA stands staring at
the camera.
BEN, already dressed in his dance tuxedo, sits on a
couch behind her.
XANDER and ANYA walk up beside ILLYRIA, who
looks at them quizzically for a moment.
ANYA
You're
supposed to engage in banter with us now, to build up the tension as
we wait for the scores.
ILLYRIA
That seems
artificial and pointless.
ANYA shrugs and nods in agreement.
ILLYRIA
Very well. To XANDER Wesley
the Judge pronounced your movements merely adequate,
and accused
you of forcing your partner to carry you through the routine. Why do
you dance so lazily?
Do you not have the self-discipline to do the
work necessary to excel?
XANDER
Sputtering Um, uh,
well… He looks at ANYA for support, but she stares at him as she
waits for the answer to that question, as well. Um, well, I uh--
grins broadly and uncomfortably. Heh heh.
points to his
eyepatch. Bionic. Would be cool.
ILLYRIA
I believe
I have raised the tension level significantly.
Does anyone know if
the judges have prepared their scores yet?
Cut to shot of JUDGES table.
ANNOUNCER
The judges are ready to
reveal their scores. Drusilla?
DRUSILLA
Seven.
DRUSILLA
Holds up a paddle with the corresponding number printed on it,
as
each judge will do when announcing their scores.
ANNOUNCER
Wesley
Wyndam-Price?
WESLEY
Seven.
ANNOUNCER
Daniel
Osbourne?
OZ
Seven.
Cut to ILLYRIA, XANDER, and ANYA backstage.
ANYA
Glaring at XANDER. Three
sevens.
ILLYRIA
To XANDER The judges have deemed
you worthy of no more than a score of twenty-one.
Leave my sight.
I am no longer interested in anything you have to say.
To ANYA
You must take charge of your burden.
ANYA sighs and nods as she and XANDER exit. ILLYRIA follows them off screen.
BEN, still sitting on the couch, smiles uncomfortably as the camera remains on for a moment.
Cut to LORNE
LORNE
Okay,
we'll have to brief her on the art of tossing back to the host.
Next
up, an interesting couple, to say the least. Let's meet Ben-- uh,
what is his last name, anyway? --and Her Magnificent
Glorificus!
Cut to montage of
clips.
--------------------------------------------------------------
BEN
interview
Glory's
not the easiest partner to work with. For one, thing, it's kind of
hard to get ideas together when you can't be in the same place at the
same time. She takes advantage of this. She keeps changing the
choreography while I'm
gone.
---------------------------------------------------------------
rehearsal
clip
BEN dancing alone in a dance studio. Some of GLORY's
MINIONS watch.
BEN does some steps, a spin, and strikes a pose with right arm and left leg outstretched.
GRONX
That's
quite nice, sir, but I'm afraid that's no longer how the routine
goes.
BEN
What?
GRONX
The most
"Shiny Special One" and I felt that these moves will be
better.
GRONX begins to dance
BEN
No, no,
no. I'm the teacher. You tell Glory that we're going to do it like
this.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BEN
interview
The
only way I can communicate with her is through those minions of hers.
Oh. they're driving me crazy! It's "her most beauteous this,"
and "I'm not worthy to clean the sole of her wonderfulness'
shoes," yadda yadda yadda. I know they don't tell her half of
what I ask them
to.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
rehearsal
clip
GLORY stands in dance studio with her MINIONS.
GLORY
So
what did ol' Ben think of the changes we made to the
routine.
DREG
Uh, he loved them, your Most
Choreographical One.
GRONX and JINX look quizzically at DREG
over that name. DREG
shrugs.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GLORY
interview
Finally
my minions did something right. Jinx actually took it upon himself to
set this whole thing up, bringing Ben and me back from the afterlife
to do this. If we win, I might let him clean my dance shoes. Oh, you
can't imagine how boring it is spending the afterlife with
nothing to do but be Ben. Even if we don't win, the break from
eternal Ben-ness will be worth it. But I'll win. I'm gonna grind
those other couples into the spiked heel of my extremely sexy and
stylish dance
shoes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BEN
interview
I
think we've got a pretty good routine if she'll just stick to it,
and
not make any more last minute
changes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
rehearsal
clip
GLORY steps and twirls, then stops dancing. She turns to
her MINIONS.
GLORY
Did you get that, Jinx? Tell Ben
about those changes.
JINX
Of coruse, your Most
Graceful One. But, he won't be happy.
GLORY
Why not?
He's liked all the other changes.
JINX
Um, well, uh,
he may feel that this is too close to the competition to be changing
anything.
GLORY
He's got three hours before we have
to be there. Tell him to stop whining and suck it up.
Is he a
teacher or
not?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Montage ends
ANNOUNCER
Dancing the Waltz, Her Most
Magnificent Glorificus, and her partner, Ben!
BEN, dressed in a tuxedo with tailcoat and holding a longstemmed red rose, walks out from behind the curtain and strikes an opening pose, as if sniffing the flower.
GLORY, dressed in a beautiful, flowing red dress, holds the rose as she walks over to LORNE, who takes her to the JUDGES' table.
LORNE
Wow! I gotta say that took
my breath away! Who would'a thought a Hell-god was capable of that
much heaven? Judges, whaddaya say? Dru?
DRUSILLA
tears
in her eyes
Oh, my. The sky sang to me. It-- it was lovely. So
very lovely.
GLORY
Well, of course it was!
LORNE
I
couldn't agree more. Wesley, how about you?
WESLEY
looks
at Oz with a bewildered expression. Oz shrugs, just as confused.
I--
I-- is this a joke? You're having us on, right, Lorne? I'm-- where
did Ben go?
LORNE
chuckles nervously Um, okay,
Wesley seems a bit confused there.
GLORY
Wow, I
shoulda' brain-sucked him. Nobody would've noticed.
LORNE
How
about you, Oz?
OZ
Uh, was that a
routine?
LORNE
"Was that a routine!" You
said it, brother. All right, Kitten, you head on backstage and talk
to Illyria while the judges prepare their marks. And again, wonderful
job!
GLORY exits, and the camera cuts backstage to her and
ILLYRIA.
SPIKE and FAITH sit on the couch behind.
ILLYRIA
Your
Most Magnificent Glorificus, welcome.
GLORY
Illyria,
God-King Of The Primordium. You're looking well. Smaller than I
remember.
ILLYRIA
This body was not my
choice.
GLORY
I hear ya'.
ILLYRIA
I
must admit, I was quite moved by that dance. It was sublime. The
counterpoint between the depiction of birth and death, and indeed the
universe itself, in all of its many dimensions, was
brilliant.
GLORY
See, and you're the only one who
would get that.
Even that idiot partner of mine couldn't
understand what I was saying with that routine.
ILLYRIA
scoffs.
Fools. They know nothing of our pain and anguish. Yet they
presume to pass judgement.
Which they will now do.
Cut to Judges' Table.
ANNOUNCER
Will the judges please
reveal their scores? Drusilla?
DRUSILLA
Ten. mixed
boos and cheers from the CROWD
WESLEY
Ten? Are you
mad? -- I mean, more so than usual...
ANNOUNCER
Wesley
Wyndam-Price?
WESLEY
One. But only because I don't
have a paddle for "zero." mixed boos and cheers from the
CROWD
ANNOUNCER
Daniel Osbourne?
OZ
Five.
everyone in the crowd boos
WESLEY
looks
incredulously at OZ Five? What on Earth for?
OZ
shrugs
his shoulders They might have been going for surreal. Gutsy move. I
like it.
Cut backstage to ILLYRIA and GLORY.
GLORY
Sixteen?
The little creeps gave me sixteen?
ILLYRIA
Do not
trouble yourself with trying to fathom their small minds.
It was
an honor for me to witness your dance.
GLORY
Yeah,
well it will be my honor to wring those judges' necks.
GLORY
storms off screen, and ILLYRIA stays this time.
She looks at the
camera/teleprompter for a moment, then turns and throws her
microphone through
the wall of the set. SPIKE and FAITH jump,
startled.
Cut to LORNE, rubbing his left horn with his hand.
LORNE
Ow. Looks off camera at DIRECTOR More
briefing.
To camera What happens when a vampire and a Slayer
join forces for a Cha Cha?
We'll find out, when Dancing With
The Demons returns!
Short, four-bar theme music plays to the break.