Disclaimer: All recognizable The Good Wife characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners including, but not limited to CBS. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fan fiction story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No financial gain is associated with the publishing of this story. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: This piece originates out of a prompt given to me ages ago by Good Scottish Wife. It refers to the infamous elevator breakdown of Kalinda Sharma in "Getting Off" (2x22). Though the piece itself is present-day and fits in the time frame of the first several episodes of season 6 when Florrick-Agos moves into the Lockhart/Gardner/Canning offices and Alicia takes Will's old office. I hope it lives up to expectations. -dkc
Love In an Elevator
Adjusting to her office being in what she had always known to be Will's office would take time. Doing her work in such a familiar setting, a setting that was a constant reminder of Will, was hampered by the mess of her own office materials mixing with what were once Will's, long abandoned as non-work product of LG. Mostly she'd find miscellaneous office supplies in a drawer or a binder full of recent case law, but occasionally she would run across something personal of Will's.
She knew she needed to go home. It was getting late. But she wanted to burn a disc of files for Cary, a case she had handed off to him, before ending the day.
Rummaging through her new desk, she reached for what she assumed was a blank disc. However, when she opened it she found the letter 'K' written in Will's sloppy penmanship. She placed the disc in her laptop and was surprised when a video automatically began playing. The time stamp was a few years ago. It appeared to be surveillance camera footage from one of the Lockhart Gardner elevators. Curious, Alicia turned up the volume to listen to the mundane conversation of employees coming and going as well as prospective clients contemplating the cost of the high retainer to be represented by one of Chicago's most prestigious firms. Nothing had caught the lawyer's attention and she placed a finger over the eject key.
What had caught Alicia's attention and stopped her from enjecting the disc was the sight of Kalinda staggering into the firm's elevator. As the car darkened, presumably from the doors closing, the investigator broke down.
What was Alicia seeing? She had never seen her once friend display such emotion. What was this?
LG had purchased a state-of-the-art surveillance system that had not been disassembled when they vacated the building. She assumed it had been left behind for no other reason than it was far too complicated for Canning or Lee. Alicia knew from experience while still in their employ that it had a limitless hard drive that saved video from the various cameras.
Opening the program on her computer and plugging in the time and date from the video of Kalinda, Alicia knew this would give her the bigger picture, allowing her to follow Kalinda's movements just prior to getting in the elevator and falling apart.
What Alicia hadn't seen on the limited camera in the elevator was where Kalinda was coming from. Time stamped five minutes before she entered the elevator, Alicia found herself watching not Kalinda but herself exit the conference room. She was visiting with a client whose name she couldn't remember, she saw herself walk into her office. There, Kalinda met her. It was all starting to make sense.
She remembered the case. The firm was using her as a sympathetic symbol, really. Using her because Peter, her high profile husband, had cheated on her and for no other reason, frustratingly. She said she was okay with it, but she remembered how little she believed that she was okay with it when she was forced to sit across a conference table from Kalinda. She hadn't known for very long that it was Kalinda who had slept with Peter—that Kalinda was Leela.
There were only surveillance mics in the hallways and not in the offices. From the grainy footage she was able to see herself enter the office, bypassing the person already there. Thanks to the glass walls of Lockhart Gardner she could see her body language as she spoke to Kalinda.
It was all coming back to her. That conversation had been one of the hardest of her life. Under the surface she was seething.
She remembered what Kalinda had said to her about sleeping with Peter. She'd said, "I do that, it means nothing to me. I do that." She had only slept with Peter once. She was either downplaying what it meant or it truly hadn't meant anything at all to her. What was hardest to hear was how the investigator thought of Alicia as just any other housewife when it had happened; of course they didn't know each other then, but it still stung.
Alicia wished she didn't remember what she had said in her office that day. She was cold, detached. And Kalinda wasn't. Her friend, or whatever she was now, was more honest than she had ever been. She told Alicia they hadn't become friends out of her own guilt. Kalinda actually liked Alicia from the very first day. But what Alicia remembered most vividly was the look on Kalinda's face when she admitted that she didn't have friends and that Alicia was truly her friend.
Whether it was the rawness of the moment or pure anger, she had lashed out by asking Kalinda if Peter was any good. A lesser woman would have walked away. Not Kalinda. She let Alicia speak that way to her. She let Alicia's venom sink in and refused to run.
After being frank with Kalinda, saying they wouldn't talk outside the realm of cases, she was adamant about not wanting an explanation or added context. Alicia broke into tears as she had said those things to Kalinda and all she saw on the other side of the desk was a woman who had hurt her. Not a woman that had any feelings of her own. The emotion in that office was clear, despite the grainy video.
That was the day Kalinda said she had found a job and would be leaving the following week. That, of course, never happened.
Looking back on that emotional exchange, she couldn't believe she had told Kalinda she would scream at the top of her lungs if she didn't leave her office. She was ashamed for acting so childish.
She watched Kalinda exit her office and stagger down the hall. She was then at the elevator where the clip on the disc began. Alicia stopped the surveillance program, returning to the footage on the disc. She noticed this time that the elevator cleared out barely quick enough for the state Kalinda was in. Her emotions bubbled to the surface. She leaned against the wall, her hand to her face, before sobbing. Absolutely sobbing.
Watching Kalinda fall completely apart was one thing, but hearing it was too much. The lawyer found her own eyes welling with tears.
She had no idea how much she had hurt Kalinda. Not that day and perhaps ever. Not until this moment.
The lawyer now felt horrible for how she had treated Kalinda. Even in her own hurt, anger and pain, she didn't need to act that way. She had gone out of her way to say nasty things to her that day and as often as she could every day since. Alicia was responsible for cutting Kalinda off. She alone made the decision to shut her out.
Ejecting the disc, Alicia thought about why this all had happened. For the first time in over a year she allowed herself to think about everything Peter had put her through. As she thought about all of his women, the prostitutes, Alicia's friends and even Kalinda, she realized that it wasn't the scandal that bothered her. She no longer cared about Peter and she had long ago stopped caring about the details of his infidelity. Sitting at her desk, the disc before her, she realized now that it was the lie, not the act of sleeping with Peter itself that made Alicia so angry with Kalinda. Of course now she knew what Kalinda—Leela—was running from. She had met Nick. She had felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as he attempted to charm her and threaten her all in the same breath. She understood now. She knew now that what Peter did for Kalinda was essential to her having a life that didn't revolve around wondering when Nick would find her.
There was something else, though. Seeing Kalinda sobbing in that elevator revealed truths Alicia had never considered. First, she knew with complete certainty that the broken woman regretted it. Her apologies had not been hollow. All of the times that Kalinda had apologized or attempted to apologize were not simply because it was what was expected of her. She also knew now that when Kalinda said she liked Alicia and that she considered her a real friend, it was an honest statement. She had known the mysterious, distant and often standoffish woman long enough to believe that they had become good friends. Kalinda was Alicia's first true friend in years—a friend who liked her for her and not her husband's budding political career.
Finding the disc had left Alicia feeling as if a truck had hit her. She was rattled. She never knew how hard it had been for Kalinda. She was selfishly wrapped up in her own hurt and anger. She had spent so much energy trying to hurt Kalinda, too.
She was the only lawyer left in the offices, the night now dark and quiet. Sitting at the desk staring at the disc left her wondering what she should do with this newfound knowledge? In some ways it felt like water under the bridge. What did it matter at this point?
Yet there was something else nagging at Alicia. The way Kalinda staggered, the way she was overcome with emotion. These weren't things Alicia would have ever expected. They were out of character, yes, yet there was something else.
It dawned on Alicia and she immediately stood from her desk, gathering her things and shutting off her lamp. She made her way to the door, closing it behind her. She stood in the elevator waiting for it to descend. It was this very elevator where Kalinda had fallen apart. The brunette placed a gentle hand to the wall of the elevator that her friend had collapsed against. Her heart beat hard in her chest, the now familiar tears building in her eyes.
"Kalinda," she whispered in the small space.
Driving across town she had only one destination in mind. She had walked to her car and maneuvered it out on autopilot. All she could think about was the strangled noise Kalinda made as she sobbed in the elevator. It broke Alicia's heart.
Pulling into a parking spot on the street, Alicia put the car in park and took a moment to collect herself. She looked in the mirror, wiping streaks of mascara from the corners of her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she exited the car and made her way into the building. She was surprised to find she didn't need to buzz her destination for permission to enter. For such a modern complex, the security seemed lax.
Stepping off the elevator, Alicia thought for a moment that she would make a fool of herself and considered turning around. The pain in her heart prevented her from getting back on the elevator. In a secluded corner of the hallway she knocked on a dark-colored door.
The door swung open and she found herself speechless. There stood the caramel-toned woman, toothbrush in hand, foaming toothpaste in her mouth, tight tank top and quite short shorts. She knew what her surprised face must look like for she saw it reflected on Kalinda's face.
"Alicia?" the investigator was shocked.
"Hi."
That's all she could manage to say as she gaped at the woman before her. There was something so utterly human about Kalinda as she stood there in lounge clothes, interrupted while brushing her teeth.
"Come in," Kalinda gestured. "Let me rinse."
Alicia watched as raven hair disappeared around a corner. She took in her surroundings. She realized as she stood there that she had never been to Kalinda's home. She smiled at the memory of her friend handing her a change of address notice. It was one of Kalinda's first truly honest and open gestures in their budding friendship.
"Sorry about that, wasn't expecting anyone," the investigator came back into the room.
The lawyer couldn't remember having ever seen Kalinda without makeup. She was beautiful.
"I should have called," Alicia offered.
"No need," Kalinda took a seat on the sofa hoping her guest would follow. "Is everything okay?"
Alicia didn't sit. Instead she pulled the disc out of her purse.
"Do you have a DVD player?" she asked.
"Yes?" Kalinda was confused, but pointed in the direction of her electronics cabinet.
Not saying another word, the brunette walked to the cabinet and placed the disc on the tray and pushed it in. Kalinda watched her and then grabbed for the remote to turn everything on. The disc automatically played. Alicia joined her on the couch.
Still confused by Alicia's sudden appearance at her apartment, Kalinda looked at the lawyer sitting next to her before following her eyes to the television. Her confusion was quickly answered. She was stumbling into the office elevator. She immediately knew why. Watching herself crumble on screen brought up old emotions she thought she had successfully buried.
"Where do you get this?" Kalinda asked after a moment of silence set in following the end of the clip.
"It was in Will's desk," Alicia answered, still staring ahead at the now dark screen.
"I can explain…" she started.
Kalinda had no idea how to explain. She remembered that moment as if it had happened earlier that day. How would she explain it to Alicia without telling her the true reason for her meltdown?
"You don't have to lie to me, Kalinda."
Alicia seemed to know that the investigator was preparing a story that would cover up the real reason for what they had both just watched.
"I looked it up on the surveillance system. I know what happened."
The lawyer still didn't look at Kalinda. She seemed to be afraid of doing so.
"Alicia, I—"
"Don't," Alicia cut her off.
Neither woman spoke nor did they look at one another. For her part, Kalinda sat quietly because she didn't know what it was Alicia wanted her to say or why she had come over at all. Alicia, on the other hand, was trying to find the courage to say what was on her mind.
"I didn't know," she finally said.
"It doesn't matter," Kalinda shook her head.
"It does," she finally turned toward the confused woman. "I didn't know."
"Didn't know what?" Kalinda asked. "That we hurt each other? Wasn't that obvious?"
"We did, yes."
Alicia closed her eyes and took a deep breath, her hands clinching together.
"You're going to have to spell it out for me. I have no idea what you came here for or what you hoped to accomplish by reminding me of that," Kalinda waved her hand in the direction of the tv.
"You were in love with me."
Just like that Alicia spoke what she believed to be the truth. When Kalinda fell apart in that elevator, it wasn't simply a woman who had hurt her only friend, it was a woman who loved the person she hurt. She was in love with the person she hurt and her reaction said as much.
Kalinda sighed.
"What difference does that make now?" she asked Alicia.
Her response was affirmation of what Alicia knew. She didn't deny it. She simply didn't understand why it mattered now. They both had moved on. Or had they?
For Kalinda who sat waiting for Alicia to answer or at least explain why all of this was important now, it came as quite a surprise when Alicia leaned in and kissed her. It was soft, slow but not hesitant and made Kalinda's lips tingle. When Alicia pulled away, she knew she must look completely baffled with eyebrows raised, lips slightly puckered and eyes wide with question.
"Alicia?" she stuttered.
The lawyer leaned in again, this time her lips firm against Kalinda's. Alicia's hand reached up to palm the side of Kalinda's face, her long fingers sinking into raven locks.
This time Kalinda kissed back.
When their lips broke this time, there was smile in Kalinda's eyes.
"I didn't know," Alicia repeated, not dropping her hand from its place on the other woman's face.
"How could you? I'd done terrible things, it wouldn't have mattered," Kalinda said.
"You can't know that," Alicia told her; thumb now grazing the line of her soft temple down to her jaw.
"Does it matter now?" she asked.
"I came here, didn't I?" Alicia smiled.
This time it was Kalinda who initiated the kiss. She teased Alicia's upper lip, the brunette's sigh parting her lips and allowing Kalinda's tongue's entrance. The younger woman's arm slipped along the back of the couch and around the lawyer's shoulders. She tangled her fingers in the brunette locks that she still remembered the distinct, strawberry shampoo scent of.
"Oh, god," Alicia gasped for breath as their mouths parted. "You are a fabulous kisser."
These were words Kalinda never imagined she would hear directed at her by this woman. She couldn't help but chuckle at this.
"That was an outrageous thing to say, wasn't it?" Alicia covered her blushing face.
"Not at all," Kalinda smiled. "Unexpected."
"All of this is rather unexpected."
Alicia's hand was now playing with strands of Kalinda's hair.
"Kalinda."
One word and both women were completely clear about what Alicia wanted. Her voice was thick with desire and long unanswered angst. Until tonight she had never allowed herself to consider sharing a moment like this with Kalinda and now she knew precisely how she wanted the moment to play out.
Tangling her hair in raven locks and pulling Kalinda's face toward her, Alicia's kiss was fiery. When the tip of her tongue traced the roof of the investigator's mouth, she found herself melting. Though she had long known her feelings for Alicia and had given herself over to an occasional fantasy, no part of her ever imagined kissing this woman would feel quite like this.
Their legs were rapidly becoming an obstacle.
"Come here," Alicia didn't ask, she didn't demand, either. She simply said what she knew Kalinda wanted to do.
Swinging a leg over Alicia's legs, Kalinda was now straddling the brunette and framing her face with her soft hands. She couldn't refrain from moaning when needy hands gripped her ass. The kiss resumed at a marked uptick in pace and passion. As Alicia's hands began a kneading rhythm, Kalinda's hips couldn't remain still.
Without giving either of them the time to consider stopping it, Kalinda pulled her tank top over her head, revealing bare, perfect breasts. The woman beneath her stared in great regard at what was revealed. Her breath caught as she palmed each globe and felt nipples stiffen at her touch.
"Your turn," the topless woman smirked.
Unbuttoning her shirt as fast as her fingers could, Alicia didn't slip her arms out, but did undo the front clasp of her bra, slipping the cups to the sides. If she hadn't been wholly aroused before, when Kalinda leaned in to whisper in her ear, their breasts touching would have caused a surge of lubrication.
"I am not patient enough to take you to my bed," Kalinda whispered.
Alicia's hips rose off the couch causing Kalinda's core to press firmly into her newly exposed abdomen. She was ravishing caramel skin from ear to collarbone before she tilted her chin down and surrounded a nipple with her lips. Her breath alone made the possessor of those nipples squirm in anticipation. She then swore when the brunette began delicately sucking.
"Fucking hell."
While the counselor was otherwise occupied, she put her hands to work unbuttoning Alicia's trousers. Though her vantage point didn't accommodate a glance, she could feel beneath the very thin undergarment that the woman who was currently lavishing her breasts with all of her attention was indeed shaved. A simple swipe of her finger parted the woman's nether lips, surprising her so much that she nearly clamped down on the nipple she had been pleasuring.
"Jesus, Kalinda…" she groaned.
Looking into lust-filled eyes, her skilled finger teased the hood of the woman's most sensitive point. Unable to continue her focus on the splendid sight directly in front of her, Alicia's hands abandoned perfectly sculpted breasts to grip lean shoulders and her mouth once again came together with Kalinda's.
The kiss became sloppy and relentless the longer a single finger circled and teased the bundle of nerves beneath thin panties.
They were already panting when their mouths parted and eager to collide once more. Kalinda was now tracing the length of a slick slit from the engorged button to as far as she could reach given their positioning. Alicia's voice echoed in her head—every moan, whimper and plea.
"Please, Kalinda, please!" she begged.
Never one to disappoint when in the lead, Kalinda's finger slipped into the abyss, feeling slick, tight walls respond as she plunged. As muscles relaxed she added a finger. Her rhythm came to complement the pace of their raging kiss. She used her free hand to press against Alicia's breast. She felt her own wetness seeping through her shorts. She couldn't remember ever having been this drenched.
Alicia could sense her pending apex and the woman inside her could as well. They found themselves looking at one another, lost deep in the feeling of the shared anticipation. It was a simple nod with a twinkle in Kalinda's eye that sent Alicia tumbling over the edge. She screamed in elation, riding the ripples of ectasy.
Collapsing completely against the couch, her head tipped back and eyes closed; she couldn't see the beautiful satisfaction on her friend's face. When she opened her eyes what she saw was the simpering face of a woman who was undoubtedly in love with her. She offered a knowing smile.
Removing her hand slowly, Kalinda savored every flicker of emotion on Alicia's face at the withdrawal. When she rested her hand on top of Alicia's at her own hip, she found her hand being encircled and directed upward. The brunette had brought the deliciously saturated hand to Kalinda's lips and watched in absolute enjoyment as an eager tongue licked each of the digits. Their lips then converged, a mixture of Alicia's essence and a touch of Kalinda's toothpaste. It was an intoxicating flavor.
Resting her forehead against Alicia's, content with simply being in the moment, Kalinda sat in wonder when she heard Alicia's next words.
"Do you think you can manage to take me to your bed now?" the lawyer asked.
Alicia's hands were slipping underneath the lower part of Kalinda's shorts—on her upper thighs—smirking with each bit of skin she uncovered.
"Unless you are too impatient, of course."
Kalinda pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the brunette's neck, sucking to the brink of when she could begin to leave a mark and then pulling back.
"Hmm…" she whispered near Alicia's ear. "It depends. How patient are you?"
With those words she tilted her hips against Alicia and began a subtle grinding of their cores. Alicia gasped at the sensation, soon forgetting what she had asked.
They were never going to make it to the bed.
To be continued…