A/N: Yes, I have another one. It's 1:30 in the morning and damnit, I want to publish all my unfinished stories!

So, this is your beyond-cliche, done-to-death, truth or dare story. I know it's old, I know it's been tried a million times, but I want my turn. It's hard to find one that isn't just pure crack. I'll try to keep it tasteful.

Pairings will maaaaainly keep to my preferences (see my profile for the massive list), but some people will obviously get asked to do things they don't like. In a fun way, of course ;) If you know my stories you know I'm pretty solidly a yaoi person, but in this one, het, yaoi, yuri - everything is on the table. I hope you have fun!

"I'm going to rip this thing off," Naruto grumbled, tugging at the silk scarf wrapped tightly around his neck.

"Never been to a formal party, have you?" Sasuke rolled his eyes. "It's customary to wear the clothes of the host nation."

"Yeah, well, Suna's traditional clothes suck. Why the hell do they need so many layers when they live in the freaking desert? And seriously, either I rip this stupid scarf off or I choke and die."

"At least you'll leave a very formal corpse."

Sakura groaned and practically inhaled the rest of her drink, thanking the stars that Naruto had at least had the decency to move into a quiet corner of the room before mouthing off about the clothing. Mind you, privately she agreed with him: while the dress kimono she had bought for the occasion was pleasantly soft and clung to her waist in the most flattering way possible, the material was awfully thick for such a hot climate. She could have worn this in the snow.

Garments weren't the only uncomfortable things at this party. The way Sakura understood it, one of Gaara's advisors had mentioned to him that in times of extended peace, Kages would often host lavish functions for representatives of allied nations to ensure their friendships were solid. As if it was still a novel realisation that he had friends and allies, Gaara took the idea to heart and immediately began planning a party. Unfortunately, event management wasn't one of his strong points, it appeared, as he seemed to have gotten all of his knowledge about parties from a bizarre combination of etiquette guides. There were at least fifty kinds of food no one had ever seen before, since he had obviously been told to cater for all possible tastes, and even more different types of fancy cutlery. Sakura had never been somewhere that required the use of a spoon, chopsticks and six different forks before. Gaara also persistently invited guests to suggest a group activity, which so far no one had deigned to try.

The worst part was that Sakura had a sneaking suspicion that Gaara's guides had informed him that he shouldn't officially end the party until all the guests had begun to leave. On its own it was fine, but Konoha etiquette was to remain until asked to leave. The two cultures' rules cancelled each other out. Hence, they were never going to get out of here.

She sat down on one of the many chairs scattered about the room. All the other invitees from villages without contradictory rules had left at least an hour ago, leaving only an array of people from home. At least it was better than being surrounded by strangers. Still, she found she had nothing to say to them: after the pleasant surprise of seeing Sasuke and Naruto clean and dressed up had worn off, all they could do was return to their usual teammate bickering.

She'd tried talking to Ino, but the latter was only interested in fawning over Sasuke and chiding her own teammates for looking so unenthused. Then there was Hinata, who was spending the whole evening squeezed between Kiba and Shino like a wedge, even when there was plenty of space. Maybe she was terrified of social situations and the boys were being her bodyguards. That made any of them an awkward conversation partner. That only left the Suna siblings, and of course Team Gai.

Just as Lee left his conversation with Tenten and looked as if he was going to come over towards Sakura, Ino's sly voice echoed across the room. "An idea for a group activity? Why, Kazekage, I thought you'd never ask!"

Sakura immediately became suspicious.

"How about… " Ino paused to think – or pretended to think, more like it. "A good, old-fashioned game of truth or dare?"

A collective groan arose from everyone around her; evidently a lot of people were listening. The only one who didn't have any reaction was Gaara himself. "I haven't heard of it," he said.

"It's quite traditional," Ino said innocently, but nobody was having a bar of it.

"Traditional for eleven-year-olds, maybe," Temari snapped. "It's a children's game, Gaara."

Chouji was next to pipe up. "I wouldn't mind playing." He shrugged. "It's not like we aren't still technically children, after all."

It was a fair point – almost everyone at the party had barely hit seventeen, let alone any older, regardless of how qualified a shinobi he or she was. Still, truth or dare was a bit of a stretch for an activity suited to their age group. It was a game that was cheeky fun if you were younger, definitely, but seventeen was just too old for 'I dare you to tell Shino you love him!' or something like that. Trust Ino, cocky, shameless Ino, to still be interested in it and not even be embarrassed.

On the other hand… if they did play, who knew what shady gossip would come up? Sakura wasn't the gossiping type (of course), but she did have her questions. Like, was that a smudge of make-up on Shikamaru's collar? And if so, whose?

"Sakura's smiling!" Ino declared, pointing, and no matter how hard Sakura tried to keep her expression nonchalant, it was true. "She wants to play as well!"

As Temari unenthusiastically explained the rules to Gaara, Sakura looked around at everyone's facial expressions. It was clear that if a vote happened to determine what the majority thought, there would be absolutely no games being played tonight. Tenten was making a face at Neji, who looked like he pitied everyone in the room for Ino's poor taste. Shino slouched unhappily with his hands in his pockets, and Shikamaru wasn't even acknowledging the situation by so much as opening his eyes. The strangest reaction, though, came from Naruto: still in the corner, he nudged Sasuke with his elbow and muttered, "But what if they ask –"

Sasuke silenced him with a single glance, leaving Sakura bemused.

"– and they have to do it," Temari finished dully.

Gaara seemed to be digesting this with far greater interest than was due. "They have to answer you or do what you command?"

"Pretty much."

He frowned thoughtfully. "So you select the person – Kankuro, I'll select you. Then you ask the question – truth or dare?"

It was absurd to hear the phrase come out of Gaara's mouth, so much so that Kankuro goggled at him, jaw having dropped, for several seconds before answering. There were no other conversations going on anymore, so all eyes were on him. "Er… truth, I guess?"

"What is the silicon content of twenty-six grams of anhydrous, purified sand?"

A wave of relieved laughter ran through the group – relieved because it was slightly scary to think of Gaara as the sort who would take a liking to truth or dare under its usual conventions. Meanwhile, Kankuro was looking nonplussed. "How the hell should I know? A million?"

Gaara turned to face Temari again. "He didn't give the true answer."

While Temari struggled to come up with a good response, Neji stepped in.

"The questions are usually less academic and more personal," he said matter-of-factly. "The aim is to get interesting or embarrassing information out of the person, not test their intellect. There also isn't any external power controlling people's answers, so it mainly relies on their honesty."

"So it would be more acceptable for me to ask, say, how many sexual partners Kankuro has had."

In spite of themselves, everyone turned and stared at Kankuro.

"We're not seriously doing this, are we?" he complained.

There certainly wasn't a definitive 'no' coming from the group like there had been a moment ago. Maybe it was because they didn't want to flat-out refuse an idea in which Gaara had expressed such an interest. Or maybe, and this one Sakura believed more likely, a small part of each of their minds twinged with curiosity about what Kankuro's answer would have been. Ino must have observed this too, as she was grinning triumphantly.

It was Kiba who spoke next. "Well, y'know, Gaara is the host. Whatever he says, goes. So… I guess you're telling us how many sexual partners you've had."

"I do not want to be a part of this," Temari muttered, looking like she was about to leave, but Kankuro shot her a don't-you-dare-abandon-me-here glare. She swore under her breath and unhappily fell into a chair opposite Sakura, who was already planning her own questions. Why play if you weren't going to play prepared?

Kankuro sighed in defeat. "Fine. This is stupid, but fine." He shrugged. "Two."

Aside from Temari pursing her lips slightly, no one reacted much. Two was a number without much impact, neither particularly reserved nor promiscuous. Most likely if everyone in the room were asked the same question, nobody would get any higher than three. There just wasn't the time, being shinobi.

Glancing at Ino, who looked very pleased with herself, Gaara inquired, "Was that embarrassing enough?"

"Almost," Sakura found herself blurting out, nearly against her own will. "We should see if we can figure out who they were!"

Why, why had she done that? Did she want people to think she was some giggling adolescent? But she couldn't help it. Gossip was fun. Sue her.

Fortunately, everyone seemed to find her outburst more funny than humiliating, and didn't seem to mind her idea. In fact, it was Hinata of all people who meekly suggested, "Surely Temari and the Kazekage would have some idea." But those two shook their heads, leaving the others to speculate.

"Well, if they don't know, he probably hasn't had any local Suna girlfriends."

"One-night stands at parties?"

"What parties, Chouji? This is the first we've been to since we were about ten."

"So if he's always out doing missions… they were probably girls from other villages – maybe even shinobi! Oh!" This was Tenten, her eyes shining intelligently. "Maybe someone from Konoha!"

At that, everyone's necks turned like they were on cranks to face Ino. She gaped.

"No way! Are you kidding? I would not!"

While she protested and all the others had a good laugh at her expense – she started this, therefore she deserved it – Sakura leaned forward to search for guilt in any other eyes. Hinata seemed like an unlikely choice for Kankuro's affections, but it was possible, she supposed. Maybe Kankuro himself would give away the answer by sharing a furtive glance with whoever it was… no, no good, he was just looking at Kiba. Well, it was only a faint hope that he'd accidentally reveal anything; most likely none of the girls here was actually one of the two… it probably wasn't a Konoha girl at all…

Sakura frowned. A radical thought had just occurred to her. The attendees here were working off one very reasonable assumption, but what if that assumption was wrong?

What if Kankuro's sexual partners… weren't girls at all?

She bit her bottom lip, still watching him. His eyes never left Kiba, who in turn was staring determinedly at the ceiling. No one else seemed to have noticed; was it possible that this meant what she thought it did? She toyed with the idea of shouting her notion out loud, but reconsidered, realising that if it was true, it was probably being kept secret for a reason. Still, telepathically she tried to beam a question through to Kiba: Are you secretly gay and have you recently slept with Kankuro?

Even in her head, it sounded stupid. And Kiba was giving her no telepathic response.

Eager eyes were still flickering from face to face, trying to find the guilty party, and Sakura felt a stab of urgency. She was the only one who could deflect everyone's attention before they realised they were looking at the wrong gender. With no logic behind the decision, her lips parted and she cried out the words, "My turn! Kankuro, ask me! You've had long enough!"

Immediately, cat-calls started. For a second Sakura didn't understand, but then she mentally slapped herself. Of course that sounded like an admission of guilt! Her cheeks burned as bright as her hair in embarrassment, unable to stop the whistles and cheers of, "Ooooh!" that were bombarding her from all directions. Ino looked like she would implode if things went any more her way. The only one who looked actively unhappy was – maybe somewhat predictably – Lee, although Naruto looked suitably perplexed; he was probably wondering when Sakura could have possibly found an opportunity to sneak off and sleep with anyone, let alone someone from Suna, and he'd be completely justified in that. Sakura had precisely zero free hours for sex in her life.

At least Kiba wasn't staring at the ceiling anymore, and unless Sakura was very much mistaken, he managed to shoot her a quick, grateful look.

"If you insist." Kankuro rolled his eyes. "What am I doing again? Oh, right, truth or dare? God, this is stupid."

"Dare," Sakura answered, wanting to avoid any more questions just in case.

"Right. Uh… fuck, I don't know. Just go make out with whoever you think's hottest."

She swallowed as others laughed at her expense. The way she remembered dares from when she was a pre-teen, they were more along the lines of shouting 'G-string' in the middle of class at the academy. Making out with someone was rather a step up, and she wasn't sure how well she'd be able to perform in front of a room of friends. As for the part where she got to choose whom she kissed… actually, that should make it easier, surely. At least she wouldn't be recoiling in disgust. On the other hand, it would basically be an admission of attraction, and Ino would never let her hear the end of it.

Still, it could have been much worse. She would take this with dignity. "And how exactly do we define 'hottest'?"

"Whoever you think looks most attractive naked," said Ino, smirking, obviously prepared.

Sakura smiled calmly. "Well, I haven't seen anyone here naked –" (At that, Ino bristled disbelievingly.) "– so I'm just guessing here, but I would obviously have to go with Lee."

The noise that followed this statement was one that could only be described as a howl. If this room were in an ordinary house with ordinary neighbours, they would have come pounding on the front door demanding to know why a herd of animals had apparently all gone into a frenzy. It was not a howl of anguish – at least, mostly not – but the predominant emotion contained within was pure excitement.

"Lee!" Tenten squealed, wringing her hands gleefully. "Did you hear that? She finally likes you back!"

Naruto also looked overjoyed (which was a bit of a blow: why wasn't he upset she hadn't chosen him?) and even Neji smiled and patted Lee on the back in congratulation. Kiba, his own issues from the previous round forgotten, was wolf-whistling and Chouji clapped with enthusiasm. Lee himself seemed prostrate with shock, eyes wide, glassy and staring at nothing. He didn't even notice when Neji patted him.

Amidst the uproar, Shikamaru surprised Sakura by tapping her on the shoulder. He said dully, "Ino commands me to inform you that she is no longer speaking to you."

"Oh."

"Ironically, she also demands to know what's going through your head and how you were able to not say Sasuke as your answer, since he looks 'just too delicious' in his formal clothes. And that's not even to mention your Suna boyfriend."

He sounded like he was reading from a script, which, coming from Ino, he probably was. Sakura brushed off Ino's refusal to talk herself – she pulled this dramatic act once a week – and answered pleasantly, "I wouldn't think how well-dressed a person is has any bearing on how attractive they'd be naked. Besides, who exercises more than Lee? Who has better muscles?" With a wink, she added spontaneously, "Who probably has better stamina?"

"Right. Thanks for that. Thanks for making this conversation as much fun as possible for me," Shikamaru grumbled. As he walked away, Sakura wanted to also add, "And I didn't sleep with Kankuro!" but it was too late, and across the room, Tenten was vying for everyone's attention.

"Hey, this was a dare, wasn't it? These two should be making out already!"

More cheers erupted, and Sakura felt herself get pushed into the centre of the room, seeing the same happen to Lee. A chant began around them: "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

The two of them looked apologetically at each other – or rather, Sakura looked apologetically at Lee, while Lee looked awkwardly over her left shoulder. He looked like he still wasn't sure this was real. He certainly didn't look capable of initiating a kiss, so it was probably a good thing this was Sakura's dare. Nerves were bouncing in her stomach and throat, the latter of which was very dry all of a sudden. She liked Lee, she really did, and she was more than happy to kiss him, but she had always pictured this moment happening on a date back in Konoha.

And, you know, without the audience.

She had enjoyed her big reveal, having known it would come as a total surprise to everyone. After all, it was only about a month ago that she realised she had a crush on Lee, and had spent her less-than-zero free hours deciding what to do about it. She never got any further than that stage, so maybe this dare was the push she needed. Maybe subconsciously that was why she'd wanted to play this infantile game in the first place.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

Lee was still shell-shocked. Realising she had no other options, Sakura took the plunge, taking a step forward to close the distance between them. She rested her right hand on his shoulder (what a well-built shoulder) and her left on his cheek (how warm, and now it was clear he was blushing, too), and she pulled him in so their lips met.

All the happy shrieks were drowned out as she closed her eyes and tilted her head to deepen the kiss. Her lips parted, and suddenly Lee wasn't motionless anymore; his arms were around her waist, holding her, and now he was kissing her back, and somewhere behind them a voice that sounded like Kiba's shouted, "Get a room!"

Sakura stopped what she was doing just long enough to flick her gaze back at him and threaten, "Shut up or it's your turn next!" And you know I know your secret now. Luckily, he looked sufficiently scared.

She didn't plan on wasting her question on him, though. No; her target was much closer to home. Naruto was still hanging way back, not playing or guessing, not even teasing her, and she knew he was hiding something good.