First Kiss

Botan

I'm behind again.

Not anybody's fault but my own, really. We ferry girls are trained to be prompt and dependable, no matter what. People might be surprised at how important those qualities are for this job—I know I was. Did you know that about 150,000 people die per day in the human world? That's a lot of souls to ferry, if you ask me!

Oh, I know what you must be thinking; what a time for depressing statistics. But just look on the bright side: For every person who dies, on average two are born. Isn't that lovely? The ones who think so, too, aren't usually the ones who meet me, though. You aren't angry with me yet? Really? Well, that's quite a relief, but I should warn you that I've the whole spirit world guide book memorized, including the section on dealing with rotten-tempered souls,so don't try to make me any more late than I already am, and hold on tight!

Oh dear, Koenma will not be pleased. He's the one I have to worry about, you know. But what am I saying? He's really a spitting guy, when you get right down to it. Efficient as can be! What an honor it is to work for him.

Are you thinking about your life? I find that people often do. Some of them have a lot of regrets; I didn't know it was possible to regret so much. I can't think of anything I've regretted, besides making silly mistakes—oh, you know, things easily forgotten. Maybe regret would be a nice thing to feel, even if it hurts. I've always been ferrying souls, as long as I can remember. I think that you must have been very lucky; I wasted quite a bit of time with you, just watching, you see.

Sometimes it's just too painful to tear someone away right when they die, can't you imagine it?

Well, I've said sillier things, I suppose.

I think that your wife loved you very much. What did that feel like, being loved? Well, how ridiculous of me. Of course it must have been wonderful.

Can you remember your first kiss, the day of your wedding? I'm sure you remember when your children were born. I've never been kissed. I'm only a spirit, you see. We don't concern ourselves with such things. We must simply perform our spirit world duties. What would it be like if my only duty was to be loved? Would it be possible to fail at that?

Surely you've thought of what such a thing means. Love makes everything worthwhile. Oh, I'm sure I wouldn't be nearly as chipper if I didn't have such good friends. Being hated so intensely by so many people only makes love more special.

I'd find it difficult to love the grim reaper, too, probably.

You can tell whether a person was loved by how they die, you know. The ones who weren't are restless in the afterlife. They must wonder what it would have been like, just like I do. I don't have what you had. I've ferried couples who died together, wrapped up in each other's arms. How romantic!

Oh, but don't be sad. You two will meet again, I'm sure. Love always finds a way. Even if things are dreary, the sun can't stay hidden forever, that's what I always say. I don't think I have anyone who would die with me, or for me—I can't even die. Not to say I'd want to! Just listen to me, being silly again.

You've been awfully quiet. Don't be afraid. Not a thing to worry about here! Just through these doors is where I'm assigned to bring you. Goodness, I've rambled the whole way, haven't I? Well, what's done is done.

Just don't let yourself be too nervous, I'm sure what you're expecting is a lot worse than reality.

Oh, and do try not to laugh; he hates that!