Standard Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Sadly, Santa did not give them to me for Christmas. But there's always next year!
This Christmas, by Chris Brown
Hang all the mistletoe
I'm gonna get to know you better
this Christmas
And as we trim the tree
How much fun it's gonna be together
this Christmas
The fireside is blazing bright
We're caroling through the night
This Christmas will be
A very special Christmas for me
Presents and cards are here
My world is filled with cheer and you
this Christmas
And as I look around
Your eyes outshine the town, they do
this Christmas
The fireside is blazing bright
And we're caroling through the night
And this Christmas will be
A very special Christmas for me
Shake a hand, shake a hand now
Ooh, the fireside is blazing bright
We're caroling through the night
And this Christmas will be
So special for you and me, yes, it will be
Shake a hand now
Come on, everybody shake a hand now
Family and we'll be together
To make this Christmas bright, yes, we will
Jimmy sat back in his chair and rubbed the back of his neck. He was almost done with the Psych paper, which his professor had thankfully given him an extension on. Staying on campus during Christmas break had been the right choice; it was quiet enough that he could ease up on his hearing, and it gave him the chance to get himself organized and ready for the next semester.
Three weeks free of classes and most of his on-campus obligations would give Jimmy the chance he needed to decompress. His schedule was crazy. Double major, ROTC, part-time job in the coffee house to help pay for books – he barely had time to breathe. He'd been on the football team his Freshman year, but it had been one activity too many and he'd had to drop it at the end of the season.
Washington State University was far enough from Cascade that Jimmy's father didn't expect him home for the holidays. In fact, in the year and a half that he'd been a student here, his father had visited only once. During that very long two days William Ellison had tried to convince his son to drop the double major and just focus on Business. Luckily for Jimmy, once his father made a deal he stuck to it. So as long as he received a degree in Business Management, he could also get a degree in Criminal Sciences. And his dad would pay tuition.
He stood up and stretched, his joints popping. He extended his hearing, listening in on the other students in his dorm that had opted not to go home. Someone was watching a Christmas movie in the lounge, and someone else was singing – badly – to some holiday music. Two someones up on the fourth floor were spending some…quality…time together. He grinned.
Jimmy had been on a few dates, but there was no steady girl. He honestly didn't have time for one. It was really important for him to keep his grades up; that had been one of the stipulations in the deal he'd made with his father. He'd considered dropping ROTC too, but he really enjoyed it, and he was good at it too. One weekend a month they went out into the woods to do war games and his team always won; there was no sneaking up on Jimmy Ellison.
A quick glance at the clock had him deciding that maybe it was time for bed. It was officially Christmas Eve, since it was after midnight, but instead of feeling wistful he was merely relieved; no fake, forced holiday with his dad or Steven this year. That was gift enough.
He shut down the laptop, promising himself he'd get the rest of the paper done tomorrow. Maybe then he'd have an e-mail from Blair. They usually wrote each other once a week, though that often depended on where the kid was and if he had internet access. Part of him was hoping for a Christmas phone call, though he kept telling himself not to get his hopes up. He'd found it best not to have high expectations during the holidays.
Jimmy went down the hall to use the bathroom, but he had a sink in his room for brushing his teeth. He put on a pair of thin cotton sleep pants and got into bed, switching on the white noise generator. His father had managed to get him his own room this year, a double since all the singles were taken. Freshman year he'd had a terrible time; his roommate either hadn't understood when Jimmy explained about his sensitivities, or he just hadn't cared. There'd been a lot of long-distance help from his Guide to get through the year.
While he ran down a mental list of things he needed to do before school started again, Jimmy fell asleep.
*o*o*o*
Jimmy jerked awake with a gasp. He'd been having a weird dream, something about a jungle where he was being stalked, presumably by some kind of animal. It hadn't been scary, exactly, just…strange. He looked at his clock. 3:14am. He rolled over, trying to get comfortable, but after several minutes of feeling agitated without knowing why he figured something must be wrong. He reached over and turned off the white noise generator. He was out of bed and had a hand on the doorknob before his brain even registered the sound that had propelled him into action.
Blair's heartbeat.
Jimmy opened the door, his eyes automatically tracking down and to the right. The kid was asleep on the floor, his backpack doubling as a pillow. He'd gotten taller in the intervening four years, but not much. He was still thin, Jimmy could see it in his face; the rest of him was so bundled in layers that he looked comically puffy.
Squatting down, Jimmy put a hand on the kid's shoulder and shook it gently. No response. He'd forgotten what a heavy sleeper Blair was, and looked down on him fondly. The phone calls and e-mails helped them stay connected, but having him here in the flesh was so much better. He could already feel his rough edges smoothing out.
"Hey, up and at 'em!" Jimmy said, patting the kid's cheek.
Blair muttered wordlessly and opened his eyes, blinking owlishly up at his friend. "Jimmy?"
"Hey." He helped the kid up, noting how much longer his curly hair was, and that he was now sporting a stud in one ear. Without even being conscious he was doing it, he gave Blair a quick Sentinel scan to make sure he was physically sound.
"What time is it?"
"After three. You wanna tell me why you're sleeping in the hall?"
"Hey, is this your room?" Blair pushed past him. Jimmy sighed and followed, closing the door. The kid switched on the desk lamp, looking at the cork board that was filled with Jimmy's class schedule, his ROTC schedule, and some of the pictures and postcards that he'd sent. On the desk was the mug Blair had made, now being used as a pen holder, and a framed photo of the two of them in their goofy camp shirts.
"This is a pretty nice room for just you. I'm glad they didn't make you have a roommate again."
"Blair…"
"It's snowing, you know. Looks like a white Christmas this year. You ever been skiing? We were in Aspen one winter…"
"Blair!" Jimmy ran his hands through his hair. "What are you doing here?"
The kid looked down at his sneaker-clad feet, scuffing his toe on the carpet. "Don't be mad."
"Your mom doesn't know you're here," Jimmy guessed. "Jesus, Blair."
He knew things had been strained between the kid and his mom, but for him to take off…Mrs. Sandburg was going to have his hide.
Blair looked up at Jimmy, anger burning in his eyes. His heart went out to the kid; he'd been there, he knew what it felt like to be at the whim of an adult who didn't listen to anything you said, or seemed not to care about how you felt.
"Just one Christmas. That's all I wanted. Just one where we weren't the extra people." Blair kicked at the desk chair. "Every year it's some new family, and all their traditions. We never have any of our own!"
Jimmy leaned against the door, arms crossed, and waited. Best to let the kid get it all out before he called his mother.
"We were in Utah, staying with some friends of Naomi's. Jewish friends, because she thinks it would be a good time to get in touch with our heritage." He laughed, but there was no humor in it. "Everyone just tries too hard, man. I couldn't take it. I knew you'd probably be mad, but I didn't have anywhere else to go."
Blair turned his blue puppy dog eyes on Jimmy, his expression pleading. The older boy clenched his jaw, refusing to be swayed. He couldn't believe the kid had traveled there all the way from Utah, by himself. Any number of things could've happened to him out there.
"Call your mother."
"Aw, come on, Jimmy!"
"Call. Your. Mother."
Blair scowled, and dug through his many layers of clothing until he produced his cell phone. "Probably asleep," he muttered while he dialed.
Jimmy extended his hearing, feeling justified by special circumstances to eavesdrop on both sides of the conversation.
"Blair? Blair!" Mrs. Sandburg sounded frantic. And very much awake.
"Yeah, uh, hey Naomi."
"How dare you! You think you can just…just run away, without leaving so much as a note?"
"Naomi…"
"I've been worried sick! The Fleckmans have been worried sick. You know how important the holidays are…"
"Oh, give me a break!" Blair interrupted his mother's tirade with one of his own. "You don't care about Christmas, Hanukkah or any stupid holiday. I'm sorry I didn't leave a note, but I'm not sorry I left."
There was a long pause and Jimmy wondered what Mrs. Sandburg was doing. Counting to ten? Putting a trace on her son's phone?
"Where are you?"
"Washington."
Another pause. "Put him on the phone."
Wordlessly, and with a sullen glare, Blair handed off the cell phone.
"Hi, Mrs. Sandburg."
"Is he okay, Jimmy?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Did you know about this?"
"No, ma'am." And thank goodness for that!
"I see. It'll be a while before I can get there."
"I don't mind if he stays with me for a few days," Jimmy said, ignoring the suddenly hopeful look on the kid's face. "He can eat off my meal card, and I have an extra bed in my room. That way you can stay with your friends through the holidays."
"Aren't you going home for Christmas?"
"No, ma'am."
"Hmmmm."
Jimmy let her think it over. He really didn't want the kid to go; it had been a long time since he'd seen him and he hadn't realized how much he missed having Blair around. He figured it was a Sentinel thing, the way he felt so much more at ease. It was like some part of him had been clenched up tight, and now that muscle could relax. The Sentinel and the Guide were together again.
"Alright," Mrs. Sandburg said finally. "I'll be there in three days to pick him up."
"Thank you."
Jimmy handed the phone back to Blair and kept his hearing dialed down. He didn't need to listen anymore. The kid thanked his mother, promised to behave, and wished her a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hanukkah. When he was finished he shut off the phone and tossed it on the desk.
"Oh, man. She's gonna kill me." He ran a hand through his curly hair, pulling it back in a loose ponytail for a moment before letting it fall.
"She ought to," Jimmy admonished. He was all set with a fiery lecture of his own, and then he noticed the dark circles under Blair's eyes and the signs of exhaustion on his face. In spite of himself, he softened.
"I don't know about you, Chief, but I'm tired. You got pajamas under there somewhere?"
"Yeah. Where's the bathroom?"
"Three doors down on the left."
While Blair was off taking care of business, Jimmy made up the extra bed. He always kept an extra set of sheets and a blanket on hand. At great sacrifice to himself, he surrendered one of his pillows.
The kid returned with a big ball of clothes under his arm, wearing only a pair of blue long johns and thick wool socks. Jimmy just shook his head.
"Thanks, man." Blair dumped his things in a heap. "I mean it."
"Then don't wake me up again," he replied with a grin. Jimmy waited for the kid to get settled into the other bed before turning off the light. Once in his own bed, he extended his hearing and let the familiar beating of his Guide's heart wash over him.
That night he didn't need the white noise generator.
*o*o*o*
After some haggling with Brenda, who ran the meal cards at the dining hall, Jimmy was able to get the okay to add Blair for the next few days. The breakfast buffet had been downsized to accommodate the smaller amount of students and teachers on campus, but they were both able to fill their plates.
While Blair chattered about Utah and the history of the Mormons, Jimmy looked around the dining hall at the holiday decorations as if seeing them for the first time. When he focused back on the kid, he grinned fondly to see he'd literally gotten egg on his face. For some reason that decided him.
"Wipe your face," he said, tossing Blair a napkin. "I was thinking we could take the bus into town, do some shopping."
"Sure," the kid said agreeably.
Twenty minutes later the campus bus dropped them off at Walmart, and Jimmy realized he'd made a big mistake. The store was crowded with last-minute shoppers and he shrunk back from the noise of hundreds of conversations and the smell of so many conflicting perfume and cologne fragrances.
Blair put his hand on Jimmy's back. "Dial it down, man. It's okay. Just dial it down."
Jimmy closed his eyes, mentally adjusting the volume dials for his senses. He was amazed at how much easier it was to regain control with the kid right there, speaking to him in his deeper Guide voice. Soon the crowds became bearable, but he still didn't want to linger any longer than necessary.
"I'm good. Thanks." Jimmy smiled at Blair. "Let's get in and out quick, though, okay?"
He led the way back to Home and Garden, which had been pretty well picked over. Still, he was able to find what he wanted – a little two-foot tree that came in a box with ornaments and lights. And since it was Christmas Eve, it was half off.
"What do you think?"
Blair looked at him through narrowed eyes. "You want to get a tree? You hate Christmas."
"I hate Christmas with my dad," Jimmy clarified. "I just thought…I don't know. Maybe we could have our own Christmas traditions this year."
He flushed, feeling a little foolish. It had been a long time since he'd had any interest in the holidays, and now he wanted Blair to have a good one. The kid looked surprised, and pleased.
"Really?"
"Just because all our other Christmases sucked, doesn't mean this one has to."
Blair grinned. "Can we get egg nog?"
"Why not?" Jimmy threw caution, and the meager remains of his paycheck, to the wind. They got the tree, two containers of egg nog, cookies, and the Reliant K holiday CD.
When they got back to Jimmy's room, they set the little tree up on the desk, wrapping the single strand of lights around it. As fake trees went it didn't look that bad. Best of all, Jimmy didn't have to worry about any overpowering pine scent.
"We always had these huge trees," he said, hanging a little red plastic ball. "I couldn't go near it without sneezing my head off, but Dad insisted that we all decorate it. Like it was some kind of family bonding thing. I'd be sick for a week after."
Blair shook his head. "I can't believe he'd be so insensitive."
Jimmy shrugged. "He likes to pretend I'm normal."
"You are normal!" the kid protested, fire in his eye. "In fact, you're like…like…super normal."
"Super normal?"
"He should be helping you, not hurting you. How can he not see what an amazing thing your senses are?"
The heat of Blair's anger warmed Jimmy. He continued to be surprised that a kid so much younger could be his biggest advocate; he never doubted the sincerity of his words.
"Take it easy, Chief." Jimmy put his hand on the kid's shoulder, squeezing gently. "You're like a little pit bull."
"If I was, I'd bite him. A lot."
They looked at each other for a moment before bursting out laughing. Jimmy couldn't get the image of Blair gnawing on his dad's ankle out of his head.
*o*o*o*
Jimmy left Blair in his room while he ran some errands on campus. He was only gone an hour, but when he came back there were paper snowflakes everywhere – taped to the door, the beds, the walls, the windows. He'd never seen such intricate paper constructions.
"I raided the recycle box in the hall," Blair said, scissors flashing as he snipped out shapes to make another snowflake. Upon closer inspection Jimmy could see that they were cut from newspapers, magazines and campus flyers.
"These are really cool," he said, poking at one gently.
"Thanks. I learned Scherenschnitte from an old lady in Germany. This is different, but you can use the same basic concepts."
Jimmy didn't bother to ask what Scherenschnitte was, he just enjoyed the results of his friend's handiwork.
"Hey, I got some takeout from the dining hall." He hefted a plastic bag in one hand. "Let's eat in the lounge and see if there's any Christmas movies on."
"Sure." Blair put down the scissors and opened the snowflake; there were two people-shaped figures in the middle, surrounded by lacy bits of paper.
"Put that one on the corkboard," Jimmy suggested. He knew he'd be saving that one, which he immediately dubbed the Friendship Flake.
They had the lounge all to themselves, and were able to find one of the many versions of The Christmas Carol to watch while they ate. Blair had recently decided to add poultry to his formerly vegetarian diet, so he was able to enjoy the turkey dinner.
"I love this story," Blair said around a mouthful of mashed potatoes. "When Scrooge wakes up on Christmas Day and he's finally happy? I love that part."
"You ever see the one with Bill Murray? That's my favorite."
"I've seen them all," the kid said, his eyes never leaving the television. "It's a good redemption tale. Even though he's been such a terrible person, he gets a second chance to live the life he should've been living."
There was a wistful note to his voice that gave Jimmy pause. Surely Blair had no reason to be wishing for a second chance, it wasn't as if he ever did anything bad.
"Chief?" he asked, putting many questions into that one word.
Blair sighed. "You know, for as long as I can remember, I wished I had a big family. Like the Brady Bunch or something. Lots of brothers and sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents. The whole deal. We'd have dinner together every Sunday, big family holidays…well, you get the idea."
Jimmy nodded. He understood. The kid wanted the one thing Mrs. Sandburg was unable to give him – stability. They were constantly on the move, and while it might be nice visiting exotic locales, there was never the chance to come back home because they didn't have one.
"Why does she do it?" he asked. "Why all the running around?"
"I don't know." Blair shrugged. "She said something once about a fight with her parents when she was young. I guess that got her going. But that was a really long time ago."
"Have you ever contacted them?"
"They died when I was just a baby." Blair picked at his food. "Sometimes I wonder about…about my dad. Does he have a big family? Do I have a brother or a sister out there somewhere?"
Jimmy knew Blair didn't stand much hope of finding out. Mrs. Sandburg claimed not to know who her son's father was, and even if she did he doubted she'd ever tell. He felt for the kid, he really did.
"You'll get all those things, Blair. Someday you'll have your own family, and you'll have a house and a big Christmas and everything."
"And my own Sentinel to watch over us?" Blair asked with a grin.
"You bet." Jimmy hooked an arm around his neck, pulling him closer. He gave him a noogie.
"Hey! Watch the hair!"
*o*o*o*
Jimmy lay in bed that night feeling pleasantly Christmassy. They'd finished up the movie, ate cookies and drank too much egg nog, and played poker while they sang Christmas songs. For him, it had been the best Christmas he could remember. And he wished he had a camera, so he could have taken pictures of the snowflakes, the tree, and Blair belting out Handel's Messiah.
He wasn't looking forward to Mrs. Sandburg coming, even though he knew Blair couldn't stay. He felt more like himself when the kid was around. Could be himself without having to worry. But the thing he'd miss most was falling asleep with Blair's heartbeat thumping steadily in his ears.
Jimmy was the first one up the next morning, no big surprise, and he put a couple of packages on the desk by the tree. If he'd known Blair would be spending Christmas with him, he'd have gotten him much nicer gifts than what the campus bookstore had to offer.
He had time to shower, get dressed, and get halfway through a cup of coffee before the kid started to rouse himself.
"Merry Christmas, Chief," Jimmy said cheerily, taking a sip of his coffee. Blair grunted and pulled the blanket over his head.
"Santa came."
That got a better response. Blair sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes? "Santa?"
Jimmy nodded his head at the tree and the kid's eyes widened when he saw the packages, which were wrapped in tissue paper.
"Those are for me?"
"Yup."
And there it was. Blair's big smile, the one that lit up his whole face and made his eyes crinkle at the corners. With his curly hair sticking up from his head, he looked more like a little kid than ever.
"Oh, wow! Hey, wait." The kid leaned over the bed, rifling through his backpack. He came up with two small packages of his own, wrapped in blue and silver Hanukkah paper.
"Merry Christmas, Jimmy."
He took the gifts, holding them in his hand and feeling just a bit overwhelmed that the kid had thought to get him something.
Blair, wrapped in his blanket, slid past Jimmy to grab the presents off the desk and take them back to his bed. He bounced up and down on the mattress in excitement.
"Oh, boy! I love presents!"
"So open them already." Jimmy sat at the foot of the bed.
The kid tore into the wrapping with vigor. Jimmy had gotten him a blue I Have A Friend At WSU t-shirt, and a book from the Anthropology 101 reading list – Tales of the Chopec Indians. Blair immediately put the shirt on over his long johns, and flipped through the book.
"This is great! I've heard of the Chopec, but only a little. They're a very insular tribe down in Peru."
"I'm glad you like it," Jimmy said. The kid leaned forward and gave him a hug.
"These are great, Jimmy! Thanks" He sat back, book clutched to his chest. "Now open yours."
One of the packages revealed three votive candles, all pale green. Jimmy normally stayed away from scented candles because they were often overpowering to his sense of smell, but these were very subtly scented and he found he liked it a lot.
"What is that?" he asked.
"Eucalyptus. It's supposed to be very relaxing and soothing. I figured if you have a real stressful day or something, you could light one and do the deep breathing exercises."
Jimmy was absurdly touched by the way Blair looked out for him; no-one in his own family cared that much. "Thanks," he said softly.
"One more," the kid prompted him.
Dutifully, Jimmy opened the second package, revealing a pendant on a leather cord. The pendant was in the shape of a cat, made out of some kind of shiny black stone.
"That's a panther," Blair explained. "It's a symbol of strength and protection in many cultures. You, uh…you don't have to wear it or anything."
Jimmy ran his finger over the smooth stone, feeling a flash of déjà vu as he did so. He was briefly reminded of the dream he'd had, the jungle dream. And then he lost himself in the pendant, sight focusing in on microscopic flecks of blue embedded in the black. It was beautiful.
"Jimmy? Come on back now. Can you hear me?"
He shook his head, clearing his vision, and looked into Blair's worried face. He'd zoned, the first time in over a year.
"Sorry," he said.
"I forgot how freaky that was," the kid said, sighing in relief. "Maybe you should give me the necklace back. I don't want it sending you off again."
"No." Jimmy closed his hand around it. "No, it won't."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure." He tied it around his neck so that the panther rested at the base of his throat. "I love this. Thanks, Chief."
Worry forgotten, Blair glowed with happiness. He grabbed two cookies and handed one to Jimmy. "Best Christmas ever!"
They toasted each other with their cookies, and Jimmy vowed to talk to Mrs. Sandburg about allowing Blair to come back next year too. It just wouldn't be Christmas without him.
"Merry Christmas, Jimmy."
"Merry Christmas, Blair."
AN: Well, I tried to get this posted before the holidays, but you can see how that went. LOL! I'd wanted to write a first Christmas story for Jim and Blair, and using my version of the characters from the Sentinel Summer Camp story seemed the way to go.
I hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday season. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Fan Fic friends!