A Day In The Life Of Sunshine

as told by Sunshine T. Dog to Michael Weaver

Summary: A different look at Spike and Drusilla's sojourn in Sunnydale.

Rating: All
Disclaimer: Joss never wrote dogs. I think.
Distribution: Feel free to link to this page.
Completed: June 24, 2006Thanks to: My beta, yourlibrarian

Ficathon prompt: A hot dog on a stick changes everything.

AN:During the episode "Passion" (BtVS S2), Drusilla brings home a puppy, whom she has named "Sunshine," for Spike to eat, but he refuses. She also brings the dog with her to the magic shop, where she questions the shopkeeper about Jenny Calendar's plans. That night, when Giles arrives to attack Angelus, Dru, who was holding Sunshine, sets her down in order to help Angelus fight Giles. In the ensuing fire, Dru and Spike leave the factory, followed later by Angelus, and still later by Buffy and Giles. No one is seen carrying Sunshine to safety, and the dog is never seen on the show again. This is the story of that very interesting day in Sunshine's life.
Huh? I heard a sound. I was asleep but I heard a sound. Better check it out. I heard a sound. It sounded like my owner's alarm clock. I better run up to her bedroom and see. Damn linoleum floor, it's so slick. I run and run and run and get nowhere 'cause I got no traction. There we go! Made it to the carpet! Now I can run! I can run fast, fast, fast! Fast across the living room! Fast up the stairs! Pant. Kinda tired now. Pant. But can't stop now. There's the bedroom. There's the bed. There's my owner in the bed. I can leeeeeeaaaaap onto the bed! Why does she always grunt like that when I leap onto her bed and land on her tummy? Lick. Hello, owner. Lick. Lick. Why, yes, as a matter of fact I am the best dog in the whole wide world. Lick. How kind of you to notice. Lick. Lick. Yeah, I guess I love you, too. Lick. Even if you did give me such a lame name as "Fluffy." But you feed me, so I guess it's okay. Just keep those Snausages comin' and you can call me something even more stupid, for all I care. Hey, I'm hungry. Bark! I'm hungry. Lick. Bark! No, I don't wanna go out, I'm hungry-- well, actually, now that you mention it... hey, where're you going? Oh, you're changing your skin again. How weird that humans do that. And they keep their extra skins hanging in that tiny room there. Oh, well, you can go around with no skin at all as long as you feed me Snausages-- oh, yeah. Almost forgot. I'm hungry. Bark! Oh, she's going down the stairs. I hate going down those stairs. Once I get started I can't stoooooooop! Whew. Made it to the bottom. Bark! I'm hungry. No, wait, I gotta go out. No, hungry. No, out. No-- oh, all right. Out first, seeing as how you've already got that damn leash on me.

Well, c'mon, Hello. That's my owner's name. Hello. At least I assume it's her name because it's how she always identifies herself whenever she meets anyone. Of course, for all I know that could be her job. She could be a professional hello. I'll bet she's a top-notch hello. Otherwise, how could she afford all those Snausages? Those things are so damn good they must cost a mint. Or actually, her name might be Heel. I don't care what she calls herself as long as she keeps feeding me those-- well, you know. Humans are so dumb, anyway. They don't even understand the simplest olfactory messages. They always just smell like whatever they just ate, or sometimes they code their messages by spraying themselves with the most god-awful stench like they're trying to communicate with the flowers. Weird animals.

Finally! Out in the yard. Now that's taken care of, we can go back inside for the food! Sniff. Wait a minute. Sniff. I smell... Snausages? Outside? This is new! No, wait. Not Snausages. Sniff. Sniff. This actually smells... better! Sniff. This way! Come on, Hello! Always gotta pull so hard to get you to go anywere-- whoa! Don't have to pull! Run, run, run! Hello must have dropped my leash! Run! New lady with pale white face and sparkly dark skin has the Better-Than-Snausage. And she's impaled it on a stick. She's crouching down, holding it out to me. Run, run, SNARF! Munch, munch, oh, my GAWD that's good! Would have tasted better without the stick inside, but still. Spit that part out. Mmm.

Yeah, yeah, Hello tells me I'm cute when she picks me up, too. Oh, I like that ear-scratch thing. You can keep that up. Don't drop me, though. Sniff. Oh, GAWD, Lady, you smell like something died. Couldn't smell it at first 'cause of your perfume-- wasn't I just talking about that? Maybe sometimes the perfume's a good thing. Sniff. Sniff. Wait a minute. You died. I don't like this. Hello finally caught up. Bark! No, I won't hush! Bark! Hello, stop your yammering and let's get the hell outa here! Kick my legs, maybe the Lady'll drop me. Well, at least she gave me back to Hello. Now shut up and let's get out of--.

OH MY GAWD! Lady's biting Hello like she's a Kibble! Bark! Help! Bark! No, Lady, I don't wanna go with you. What'd you do to Hello? Bark! Let me go! Bark! Bark-- hey, is that another Better-Than-Snausage? Mmm, num, snarf! OMG you got a whole bagful! Lady, I love you, even if you do stink to high heaven. Yes, as matter of fact, I would like another-- what did you call it? A "Hot-Dog-On-A-Stick?" What a sick name, Lady. I've said it before, humans are weird animals. But they sure can make some damn fine food. .

So where are we going, anyway, Lady? Are you sure Hello's gonna be okay back there? Are there more "hot dogs" where we're going? What does the sun coming up have to do with you hurrying so fast to climb into the sewer? Wait, don't set me down in that muck! Oh, no, wait a minute. On second thought, you better set me down. The smell has made me wanna-- again. Yeah, okay. All done now. Hey, wait for me! .

Run, run, pant, pant. Finally caught up to her. Damn, she's fast. Oh, sure, now I've run all the way here you wanna pick me up. Pant. Pant. Think I'll give her the whimper routine. Make her feel guilty for making me run all that way through sewers. Whimper. Whine. Who's the guy in the wheelchair? Whimper. He smells just as bad as you do. Whine. Worse, he's not wearing perfume. Whimper. Did you say "orphan?" This mean we're not going back for Hello? Whine. Whimper. Oh, so you're calling me "Sunshine" now? Yeah, okay, beats "Fluffy." I mean, come on, that was only slightly less original than "Rover"-- WHO EAT WHAT WHAT WHAT? Whimperwhine! Oh, no, wait a minute, you've got it all wrong, pal. "Hot dogs" are the food! I'm a real dog! You eat the "hot dogs," they're quite tasty! .

Oh thank god he's rolling away. And now there's another one. He's dead, too. And he has stupid hair. Kinda like those poodles. How they have the nerve to show their tails in public is beyond me. I hope they bite their owners for giving them those haircuts. Did you bite your owner for that, Hair Dude? Whoa! Chair Guy hit Hair Dude. I'm not sure I like Hair Dude. He seems kinda mean. What kind of place did you get me into, Lady? Yeah, that's good. Give me to Chair Guy. I like Chair Guy. He's the only one here who has explicitly stated that he was not planning to eat me. What's up with Lady? Is she ill? Oh, not caring now. That's it, right behind the ears, that's the spot.

What? Hey, Lady, put me back down. I was asleep. Chair Guy's got a comfy lap, and he gives good scratch. At least he does when nobody else is around. Anytime Lady or Hair Dude show up he stops, but I know better. Nobody who really doesn't like dogs can give ear scratch like that.

Why are we going back into the sewer? Where are we going-- oh, you better put me down again, Lady, you know what that sewer smell makes me wanna -- ah, there we go. Okay, you can pick me up again. Are we going out to get more of those "hot dogs?" Better wag my tail, just in case. And ask for some. Bark! Pant. Lick. What? Whaddaya mean, we're not going to get "hot dogs?" What's a "magic shop?" And why is the "shopkeeper" a nasty man? I wouldn't throw stones if I were you, Lady, you smell like death and you bit Hello. Only reason I'm still here is Chair Guy's lap and the "hot dogs." .

So this is a "magic shop," huh? Do they have food here? I kinda hope not, because it'd probably taste like whatever that stinky stuff on fire in the corner is. What is it with you humans and smelling like flowers? And wood? And smoke? Hey, what? Don't pin this on me, Lady. I never said anything about nobody havin' no visitor. And I don't give a Milk Bone what he and some nasty teacher talked about. What are you-- ARE YOU BITING HIM? You're biting him, just like you did to Hello! Put me down -- leave me out of this! I'm not so sure I wanna hang out with you any more! Kick legs, make her put me down! Kick! Bark! Kick! Kick! Yes, as a matter of fact you did frighten me! Now let me go-- "Hot-Dog-On-A-Stick" you say? Well, I suppose... if you insist. Let's go now. Now! Pant! Pant! Wag! You're not going fast enough-- although you are pretty fast. Wait a minute. We're back? Yeah, okay, put me back on Chair Guy's lap, but what about -- you mean the "hot dogs" were here the whole time? Mmmph, numph, gulp. Why did I even bother going out with you if the "hot dogs" were here? For that matter, why didn't I smell that they were here? Guess it's all that perfume and the fact that all three of you SMELL BAD. Oh, yeah, scratch right there, Chair Guy. Lick. Lick... yawn. .

Huh? Damn it, Lady, can't you leave me alone when I'm sleeping? Give me back to Chair Guy. What's everybody arguing about? Who are we supposed to kill? Haven't you done enough killing for one day? I mean, I understand killing when you're hungry -- give me a chance and I'd kill every "hot dog" I could find if you didn't already have them conveniently impaled. Hey, you got any more of those? More "hot dogs?" Are you gonna feed-- WHOA! What's this all about? What's with the burning alcohol? Who's that guy? Fire! There's a fire! HEY! HEY! FIRE! Does nobody else here see this big FIRE? Stop rasslin' around, we gotta get outta here! Put me down, Lady! PUT ME DOWN! LET'S GO! RUN! She put me down! Thank you! Run, run, run! C'mon, run, run, run! Out of the building, into the street -- HEY watch where you're driving, we got a fire! Run, run, run! C'mon, Chair Guy, don't stop, just follow me! Run, run-- huh? Hey, where's Chair Guy? Bark! You here? Bark! Lady? Bark! Hair Dude? Bark! Run in circle, run in circle. They're not here. I'm by myself. Did they make it out? Does it matter? They were dead already. I better get out of here, they were scary people, and it was probably only a matter of time before one of them did try to eat me. Walk away, walk away. I'll miss Chair Guy, though. And Hello. Where should I go? I'm sure I'll find somebody to live with, seeing as how I'm such a great doggie. I know one thing, though. As God is my witness, I will never chase a "hot dog" ag-- sniff. Sniff. I smell food. I smell "Hot-Dog-On-A-Stick." Run, run, run...