A/N A crack!ficlet I ended up doing on bsg_epics on LJ. I figured what the hell, why not post it here too? Prompt was Laura- algae
The Thing
If Laura Roslin was one thing, it wasn't squeamish. Easily scared wouldn't be a good way to describe her either. Yet early in the morning, wrapped in nothing but a towel, she found herself hesitating, stomach rolling just slightly. That which made her hesitate to step into her own shower was a greyish blue streak, embedded in a hairline crack.
A very much alive, greyish blue streak.
Not allowed to eradicate the invader, she had watched it grow with surprising alacarity over the past few days.
The scientists said they were going to name it after her. She would rather they didn't. If there was one thing she wanted to be remembered for, it was saving humanity, not possessing some strange organic compound in her body fluids which, when steamed, had prompted the unsightly monster to grow. They were hoping once enough of it had spread they could cultivate and grow it somewhere other than her shower. Apparently it was very nutritional, and sadly, not threatening to her in anyway that would grant her the ability to have it removed.
Shudderig slightly, Laura reached past the invader to turn on the water.
She was feeding her people. Though in this case, the notion conjured up images of the people literally eating her. They weren't as disturbing as the nigtmares about the thing in the shower consuming her.
Reluctantly taking off her towel and hanging it up, she stepped into the cubical. The water hadn't quite warmed up yet, but she was willing to forgoe her normal temperature in order to get through the whole ordeal sooner.
She could swear it was staring at her.
As Laura started her routine, she closed her eyes and slowly felt herself begin to relax. If she stayed slightly farther away from the wall than usual, well, that was nobody's business but hers. Pilling up her hair to rinse a meager amount of shampoo through it, the unthinkable happened. Her elbow brushed against the wall. Brushed up against.. It.
Laura froze, hands holding her rapidly falling hair on top of her head. She didn't want to open her eyes. She had to open her eyes.
One eye cracking open slowly, she turned her focus to the wall. The streak blinked at her. Laura immediately, and in a very unpresidential fashion, started screaming.
Leaping out of the shower, she scampered across the head for the door. (Thank you for instilling that word into my vocabulary Bill, head, teeth, mouth- it was going to frakking eat her she knew it)
Wrenching open the door, she was immediately greeted with the sight of her guard. Startled by her screaming- and quite possibly now her nakedness- the young man didn't manage to say anything.
Laura hastily grabbed the sidearm from his hand and spun back around to face her still running shower. The recoil made her arms jerk, but she didn't stop firing until the clip was empty. Feeling the tension leave her shoulders at the sight of the smoking crater- alright, rather haphazardly bullet ridden- remains of her enemy, Laura turned back towards the marine.
She handed him his weapon, tucking a strand of damp hair behind her ear.
"Cylon algae."