Okay so this story is going to be four chapters long, and I am going to upload a new chapter each day. This story is based on the song "Ho Hey" by the Lumineers. Hope you like it! :)
"(Ho!) I've been trying to do it right
(Hey!) I've been living a lonely life
(Ho!) I've been sleeping here instead
(Hey!) I've been sleeping in my bed,
(Ho!) I've been sleeping in my bed
(Hey!)"
I sat alone in my empty apartment just staring at the blank TV. I did that a lot lately because I didn't have those one night stands anymore. After Berlin, well, for once I admitted to myself that I did indeed love Ziva David. Even though I did have these feelings before, I was just now admitting it.
This whole love thing is new to me. Even though I said I "loved" Jeanne, I didn't mean it. I practically tried to force myself to love her. I did everything in my power to try to love her, but it never worked.
I just needed an excuse to try to not let Ziva know I liked her, well loved her. We were getting too close, and I knew that I would have broke soon if Jenny did not give me that mission. I actually have no idea how I have kept myself away from her for this long.
It has always been her. It has always been Ziva David. Berlin proved that. Just by the way we looked at each other during our dance proved it.
But I'm starting to think that when Gibbs created his rules, he created them with the universe. So, if you break these rules, the universe will try to stop the rule breaking.
I know that sounds a little confusing but I swear it is true. Well for instance, when Ziva and I were in the car, I intertwined our fingers. I guess the universe thought Ziva and I were getting too close because right when she was about to say something, that I believe was going to be a possible, "I love you," a car crashed into us. A car! A fricken car! Like I knew Gibbs was serious about these rules, but you don't try to kill us for almost breaking them. Honestly, that's just something that you don't do, but then again it is Gibbs.
But going back to the original subject, I haven't had a one night stand in over a two months. I'm pretty proud of myself. I must love her a lot, to give up...well you know.