Scars are souvenirs you'll never lose
Past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there?
Did you get to be a star?
Doesn't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are?
"Name" Goo Goo Dolls

__________________________________________________________________________________
Of Heterodox Methods

They say 'it's better to be hated than to be ignored'. Some can disagree with that statement, for sometimes both are appearant. What was the point in staying around when you're endlessly ignored and undoubtedly hated? Kyler didn't particularily have any sort of belief in any kind of quotes or sayings, similliar to the fact he didn't believe in god or heaven. To him, it just wasn't possible, and at this point, he didn't care whether he went to hell or into nothingness.

During his time in England, he had been raised to strongly believe in Christ, to use the Bible, to go to church every sunday and recite every prayer given. Rarely he went to Church, usually bluffing and saying he didn't feel well, or running over to one of his friends houses to escape it. He didn't like going there at all, it just didn't feel right. It felt weird. Of course, his mother was disapointed in him.

His father, on the other hand, was almost entirely unaware of his family's welfare and even current location, since they had moved after he left home to head to Los Angeles. He was filthy rich and deadly famous, a big-shot actor with all the fame and fortune he could possibly desire, and he chose not to share any of it with his family. The only one who Dante, his father, had ever been intrested in recently was he, Kyler himself, Dante's only son and the youngest of the family.

He'd promise to make Kyler shine one day, to make him follow in his father's footsteps and to become insanely rich and popular, promising all of the girls he could ever want and all the money he'd ever need. Kyler never wanted it. He just wanted something more of his life.

Kyler had been raised alone with his mother and his older sister, Abby or Abbigail, who, despite her flawless complexion and normally polite nature, was no doubt a trainwreck. Nearly every night she'd come home, stoned out of her mind or distorted and idiotic from drinking too much, and she'd fight endlessly with her mother, snarling threats and excuses at her. Afterwards, she'd retreat to her room and slam the door behind her as if nothing ever happened, waking up the next morning with a hangover. Yet, their mother never complained, rarely mentioning the events before, and she'd take care of her.

One time, however, Abby screwed things up so horribly that it was inreversable and would make things change extremely drastically. Once more, Abby showed back home, drunk, but sober enough so that she could watch a straight line- no, rephrase that- run a straight line, directly into the house, and streak into her bedroom before she could possibly curse or snarl at her younger sibling or her own guardian.

Strange, was what Kyler thought at first, cracking the door of his bedroom open slightly in time to see Abby slam her door shut. Suddenly the light flickered off in her room, and silence engulfed the entire house, tense and abrubt.

Then, after a few moments of silence, just before Kyler decided to head back into his room, the door bell rang downstairs.

Instantly, both Kyler and Abby swung open their doors and stared down the stairs. Abby, in what looked like anxious fear, and Kyler, in curiousity. He glanced out of the corner of his eyes at her, silver eyes narrowing as he read her expression.

Slipping down the staircase silently, he went behind a glass cabinet at the top of the staircase heading down to the front door, watching as his mother looked up from her place in the kitchen, suprised at someone coming to their house so late at night, dropping what she was doing hesitantly and heading towards the door. Kyler watched her pass him, reaching the front door and turning the door knob.

She didn't even get to speak before a bullet pierced her skull.

Blood suddenly splattered across the white walls, staining them scarlet and pooling beneath the now fallen body. As she fell, her murderer was revealed, a tall young teenager with shaggy brown hair and a dark, cold gaze. He didn't even notice Kyler as he grinned stupidly, clearly too drunk to even realize what he'd just done.

"Howie? Howie- c'mon, there's no point in going after her now, let's just get out of here before the cops come around." His dark-haired companion hissed urgently, pulling Howie back and away from the front doorstep, and quickly both of the teens whipped around towards an old sportscar, climbing in and starting it up swiftly. Kyler didn't even remember to breathe until the sound of the car's engine faded into the distance.

And the police sirens sliced through the air.

He remembered Abby, raw-eyed and traumatized, stumbling down the stairs, trembling as she stepped through pools of blood and grasped her own mother's now cold and pale wrists, beginning to drag her down the stairs and into the basement, ignoring Kyler's urgent pleading and angry yelling. She closed her eyes, letting out shaky breathes. She didn't want Kyler to see this. She never wanted this to happen.

"I'm sorry!" Abby screamed helplessly from downstairs, before turning and collapsing at the foot of the staircase. Silent sobs made her entire body convulse, and Kyler watched her emotionlessly from the top of the stairs. He didn't cry, he didn't pout, he didn't scream in confusement, which was suprising for someone at his age who just witnessed something so horrific.

Kyler's expression didn't alter once when the police arrived at their house.

They question her, over and over and over again, and finally they are too fed up with her simple, gist answers that are getting nowhere, so they load her into the police cruiser and they go ahead and attempt to speak to Kyler.

"I only saw what happened. I don't know who the killer was," He responds stubbornly when the officers try to ask him who killed their mother. "What did he look like?" A cop with a spiked hair-cut asks slowly. Kyler shrugs, looking away.

"I didn't really see him." The cop narrows his eyes at him, "So it was a male?"

"Most likely."

And once more, the officers sigh in unision.

"This isn't getting us anywhere," one of them mutters to the others, who nod slightly, "Go around and question some of the neighbors, they might've been able to pick up anything suspicious, heard gunshots, or even saw whatever happened here. I'll take the kids back to the station and see what'll happen to them." With that, he motions for Kyler to stand up, and leads him to a police cruiser.

That was the last time Kyler ever saw his home just outside of Winchester.
__________________________________________________________________________________

The police station stank of dirty criminals and fear-struck victims. Kyler didn't like it.

He had absolutely no idea where Abby was, but from the sounds of things(apearantly the officers didn't bother to keep secretive about things in their own offices, even though filled with dozens of random citizens)she was being heavily questioned and the police had already figured out a few things.

Kyler also found out from listening to their hushed conversations that she was being sent to a Juvenile Deliquency camp outside of England. So, where was he ending up?

"An orphanage in Winchester," the officer came up behind him just as that thought struck his mind, and he turned around to glance at him slightly, "Is willing to take you for a while. It's a very private institution, however, and it might only be temporary until we can settle you into a proper place. Your sister-"

"I know," Kyler interrupted slowly, cutting off the officer. He stayed silent for a few moments, thinking, before sighing to himself as the cop continued, "I'm sorry about the loss of your mother, Kyler, but we can't contact your father either."

Well good, as if I'd want to live with him. He merely shrugged.

The officer smiled, somewhat reluctantly, in an attempt to encourage him, "You'll spend the night in the station and leave to Winchester by eight in the morning sharp."

Lacking any more information he wanted to recieve, Kyler nodded miserably and watched as the cop stood and wordlessly left the room, leaving him alone.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Flashes of bright lightning struck threw thick, humid air the next day, occasional, brief rain showers soaking the earth and dark clouds making the world dark and depressing. It was about seven thirty, half an hour until he was scheduled to leave the station and head to some sort of secretive orphanage to the north of Winchester.

"You up yet?" a female officer, dressed in their normal suits of black and navy, poked her head through the door at him, wear he had been leaning up against a few pillows in an extra room behind all of the office rooms. Kyler hardly slept at all that night, but it didn't seem to matter now.

"Yeah." He stretched slightly, glancing over at her. She smiled weakly.

"I've been told to force you to get up now, you're already to be taken to the orphanage," she said quietly, opening the door and allowing more light to filter into the dark room. She motioned for him to stand up, and reluctantly, he did.

"You can rest in the vehicle in you like, no one will stop you, if you're still tired. I'll escort you outside. First, would you like to see your sister before you leave?" When Kyler didn't answer, she looked at him doubtfully, "This might be the last time you'll see her..."

"Okay," Kyler replied, just as she nodded and turned away, leading him out of the room and down many different hallways in the station, until he came to a clear glass room where his sister was in, her wrists in tight handcuffs that she couldn't escape and that hollow, guilty look fresh in her gaze. She wouldn't look at him. Even if he tried to talk to her, she wouldn't respond to him.

The police officer stood at the edge of the room, pacing anxiously, apearantly a bit of uncomfortable with the awkward silence. Finally, Kyler gave up with his older sibling. It didn't matter anymore. He wouldn't see her after this anyways, probably, so what was the point in trying to get her to speak?

Wordlessly, and without so much as another brief glance at his sister, he turned out of the room, expecting the officer to notice and follow. She raised an eyebrow, glancing from Abby to Kyler for a moment, before following after the young boy back out into the main rooms and hallways.

He was already soaked with rainwater by the time he made it to the car parked outside of the station, its tires sinking into the mud puddles below and rain cascading down its black-tinted windows. The entire car was black, not too fancy, but compared to other average cars, it seemed slightly mysterious.

"The ride will only be about twenty to twenty-five minutes," the woman informed him, opening the door for him as he climbed in, "When you reach the orphanage, someone will be there waiting for you. He is known as Whammy, and he's very kind, so don't be too hesitant to trust him. Your files shall be transferred to their database and don't be suprised about media trying to get at you- reporters and others are always wanting to know about the latest things going on in the area, and your case is no exception."

Kyler could do nothing but nod slightly, his silver eyes darkening as they flickered to the carpet of the car floor. The woman hesitated, before motioning the driver, and with a brief goodbye, she shut his door and stepped away from the car, just as the wheels began to move and the car began to head off down the street.

He was definitely not looking forward to any of this.
__________________________________________________________________________________

The orphanage looked very English and old fashioned indeed, made entirely of pale beige-colored bricks and a stone walkway, a grand black iron fence surrounding the entire premisis. To even unlock and open the gates you had to step out of your car and do an iris scan to be allowed to enter the property. The same thing applied at the very front doors.

He was greeted by an older man, maybe in his early sixties, with silvery hair and dull brown eyes. His assistant, a slightly younger man with greying brown hair, stood behind him, unhappily watching the black vehicle move away from the side of the building and leave. He sighed, just as the older man began to speak.

"Welcome, Kyler, I'm Whammy," he spoke, smiling kindly, before motioning to the man behind him, "This is the manager of the orphanage, known as Roger." Roger nodded curtly to him, before turning his gaze away from him again. He wasn't the only one who didn't want to be here, apearantly.

"Welcome to the orphanage," he repeated, just as Roger turned away and opened the front door, and Whammy quickly ushered him inside. The front foyer had amazing architecture yet overall was generally bland.

Even just the front part of the orphanage seemed quite large, and suddenly, about half a dozen other children apeared, whispering anxiously to one another and casting curious glances over at the newcomer, "There are a few things you'll have to remember, such as, no one here goes by their real names. It's kept a secret, and you can never give it away to anyone. Understand?"

Kyler nodded.

"Good." Whammy said, "I don't exactly have the time to sit down and discuss this, however, Roger can show you around, tell you all you need to know, etc. For now, you'll simply be known as Kyler, but you can't give away your last name. Alright?"

Kyler nodded once more.

Then, Whammy left.
_______________________________________________________________________________

After recieving his room number and the key and getting settling in, Kyler, as exhausted and just plain fed-up with everything at this point, he decided to leave the room and look around a bit. The moment he left his room, about ten other kids came up to him, shouting questions and others just watching from a distance. He sighed, backing up against the door.

"Hey! Moove, faggots!" came a sudden snarl, and a tanned-skinned boy, about Kyler's age, with spiked jet-black hair, waved his arms around, clearing the other kids away angrily with glares from dark chocolate-brown eyes. Behind him, two others his age came up beside him. One was a pretty girl with reddish-brown hair and dark blue eyes, the other, was a slightly older boy with shaggy blond hair and bright green eyes.

"Relax, Ty," The girl said, slightly exsasperated, before averting her blue gaze over to Kyler's curiously. Tyson snorted in response, crossing his arms as the girl took her gaze off of Kyler and turned to her other blond companion, who just looked too bored and unconcerned with what was going on to care.

When the others had cleared away from Tyson's angry rambling, the girl turned back to Kyler, and her male companions also turned their attention back to him, "Whats your name?" She said, firmly but kindly, before nodding slightly, "I'm Aspen, by the way, and this is Tyson and Shok."

"Or Shokker," the blond grinned, blinking his green eyes at him, before Tyson rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. Tyson wore an outfit entirely of black and silver chains, quite punk-like and outstanding, while Shok wore black jeans with a white shirt(which was too big for him) and a black tie around his neck. Aspen wore skinny jeans and a purple shirt.

He nodded hesitantly, "I'm Kyler." Aspen smiled at him, Shok nodding slightly, while Tyson continued not to even do so much as glance at him.

"You'd better be careful around here," Tyson suddenly did speak, not looking over at Kyler, "I don't give a shit whether or not you've delt with a bunch of crap in the past, I doubt you're going to be ready for this place." Kyler raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. Tyson sighed impatiently.

"People have commited suicide because of this fucking chamber," he spat, "This isn't a normal orphanage, its just some sort of place to get groomed, to be number one, to be special. To be first for everything, especially intelligence. To succeed some L dude." He snorted, "I could care less about some great detective named L, I just want to get out of here, personally."

"Agreed," Aspen stretched boredly, "This place really isn't what its said to be. It's actually pretty brutal at times, really." Shok merely shrugged, leaning against the wall boredly, not intrested in getting involved with the conversation.

Kyler's eyes narrowed slightly. He had heard about L, he had also heard about three others by the name of Mello, Matt and Near, who were the detective's possible successors and co-workers. Apearantly they now worked on their cases somewhere in LA in a fancy building, trying to catch Kira and keeping up with other responsibilities as well.

He'd also heard their team had expanded and contained a few other taskforce members who were kept a secret to the public. Then again, he had heard about it, had he not?

_______________________________________________________________________________

Kyler realized how discouraging this place really was within two weeks of staying here. When you were new to this place, you were an obvious target for those insecure, disgusting bullies who thought they were cool once you shoved someone into a wall and got away with it.

Yeah right.

There were your cutters (as in, slitting of the arms, legs and occasionally the neck. Most popular, of course, were the wrists) your sluts (the girls who walked around with awfully short skirts and rarely wore anything underneath) your stoners and the drunks (the ones who would somehow manage to sneak dope and alcohol into the orphanage and get obviously shit-faced in moments) then there were the nerds.

Actually, more like the kids everyone was afraid of because of their royal intelligence. For instance, there were a few picked out to possibly head into Los Angeles and become trained for some more members of his force.

They were pretty respected, and Aspen was actually one of the few who they were discussing to send to LA. There were other orphanage branches, such as one in Los Angeles, however, so they could only send a small amount of people.

Kyler wasn't intrested in that bullshit at all.

Back to the subject of all of the well-known stereotypes fitted for certain individuals out here.

The second day he'd been here, he'd been beaten up. Or atleast, shoved around a bit. Kyler was too proud, even though he was now some pathetic little orphan living in some stupid instituition place, to just accept it and let them beat down on him. No, he fought back.

"You seem to be quite the target," Aspen came alongside Kyler when he was walking down the hallway in the school building on the other side of the orphanage's property, "I mean, usually the new one are always looked down apon, but you seem to stand out to them."

Them. Who the fuck is them?

"Oh?" He continues walking, running a hand through each layer of his spiked hair, "Why do you think they're so intrested in me, then?"

Them, are the five-some of teenagers, maybe two years older than Kyler, who absolutely find it the highlight of their day to go ahead and ram some kid's face into a wall. It consists of four guys and one shy, but rather violent girl who clearly have nothing better to do with their spare time.

"You think I'd know?" She turns her dark blue gaze to him, raising an eyebrow, "I don't stalk them, you know. I barely even look at them, let alone talk to them. I'm not about to start, either." Aspen suddenly smirked, blinking her eyes innocently.

"Nikki's, like, blind though." She sighed thoughtfully, "Perfect for pranking, eh? That'd teach their little gang a lesson, no? Mess with us, we'll screw up your handicap!"

Kyler sighed. So thats why the girl kept to herself so much? Come to think of it, he'd notice she never stared directly at him. In his direction, of course, but her eyes didn't meet his, not ever.

"Aspen," he warned, raising an eyebrow. She stopped.

"What?"

"C'mon. Whats the point? We'll just end up getting pounded."

"Thats why we run." She grinned. He shakes his head and continues walking down the hallway, but she stubbornly follows, "What? Don't tell me you're the soft kind whose totally against getting their hands dirty?"

"I didn't say that," Kyler disagrees, "I just think the whole idea is pointless. Who gives a shit about the blind girl anyway? She doesn't do anything, it's the guys who do. Leave her alone. I could care less about her."

"What about the guys?"

"Yet again; you'll get your face pounded."

Aspen sighed, turning her face away from him, "Whatever, Mister Perfect. Anything you say."

"Good,"

"Just let them all indulge in their usual alienating, self-destructive behaviour with their alcohol and come after you again and then we'll see what you really think."

Kyler halts; Aspen does too.

"...Alright, let's do something about it."

And she looks absolutely thrilled.
__________________________________________________________________________________

The two of them spent their lunch in the gymnasium, watching a gang of older teenagers in the corner at a basketball net, fighting over the ball to shoot it in. Some people were eating, others were talking in small groups, while the other percentage of people were either in their rooms at the other side of the place or in the hallways by their lockers.

No sign of the gang yet.

He wasn't looking forward to seeing them, either.

Of course, Kyler thought, it figures that out of the entire month he had been here at this orphanage, the one time he wants them to show up, they don't. Thats how it always goes, doesn't it? Jeez, he wasn't even aware of what Aspen's little plan was...

So he dared to ask.

Oh, and she had an answer.

"Attack 'em!"

"What?!"

He could've smelled that one coming. Dammit. Aspen was too predictable for her own good. Why did he agree to this again?

Kyler swayed on spot as Aspen stood up and slipped past him, grabbing his shoulder and dragging him after her. He resisted against her slightly, before he gave up and shrug, shrug, shrugged her hand off. The thought of two kids going against an older 'gang' made Kyler want to turn around, tell Aspen she's hopeless, and leave the room.

Unfortunetly, he doesn't.

By the time Aspen drags him over to the other side of the room, Nikki's already entered the room, innocent and dull as usual, and carefully manevuring across the room and sits down at a table. She doesn't move.

Then the others arrive, her all-male gang of twits and morons. The one who starts it all, a tall, bulky tanned-skin guy with shaggy blond hair and dark gold eyes. They all move to the bleachers at the side of the gynasium, for once not going to Nikki, before one of their gazes pinpoints Kyler. Then all of their gazes pinpoint him.

"I'm going to kill you," Kyler says cheerfully to Aspen, looking straight at the group of boys. Aspen glances at her companion, barely masking a smirk.

Suddenly, as if on cue, the spiky-haired boy jumps off the bleachers, stalking up to Kyler with the kind of confidence that only pissed Kyler off even more. His dark gaze was mocking and cold, and he stalked right up and shoved him to the ground. Just like that.

And it seemed that suddenly every single gaze in the gynasium was plastered over in the corner where they were.

"Oh? Did I hit you?" He shook his head, "Damn, I'm sorry. You're just so insignificant I didn't bother to notice you," He smiled, flashing chiseled teeth, but it was abrubtly torn from his face as Aspen suddenly shoved into him, sending him into the wall. Behind them, an older teenager by the basketball nets turned to look.

"Holy shit," he said.

He whipped his furious gaze over to Aspen, teeth bared like an animal's. Aspen narrowed her eyes, arms crossed.

"Get lost, Dean!" she snaps, and slowly a smile apears on his face. It's almost kind of creepy, Kyler thinks to himself, as he watches him warily. His movements are slow and thoughtful, and Kyler predicts he's thinking of something to do to her.

Suddenly, he shoots forward, and he grabs Aspen by the throat, his fingers grasping firmly around the front of her neck and he slams her head into the adjacent wall. Suddenly, the gym is alive and excited, either yelling or cheering. Behind them, the same teen as before stares.

"Holy shit," he repeats.

"I'm not sexist," Dean snarls, pressing his lips to her ear in a hiss, "Mouth off to me, bitch, and I'll fucking-"

Dean is shoved backwards as Kyler jerks forwards and slams his body into the side of the bleachers, and watches as the glass statues on either side of the stairs come crashing down from the impact, narrowly missing Dean's head. Glass shatters around them, and Aspen crawls to the side of the room, quickly standing up as two others rush over to help her.

"Don't touch her," Kyler spits, and Dean closes his eyes, jerking out of his grip. On the other set of bleachers, across the gym, Nikki has joined the rest of Dean's gang once more, and they watch anxiously.

"I'll do what I wish!" He snarls back, glass crunching beneath his feet as he stands up like frost. Without warning he was back at Kyler, pinning the boy down against the ground and slamming his fist down onto his fist. Suddenly unable to breath, he kicked up and made an attempt to throw Dean off, and as he did, he rolled over, coughing slightly.

This time, when he came after him, he was ready. He grabbed Dean's belt, pulling him down to the ground and kicking him in the side roughly. When he turned to face Kyler, however, his fist made contact with his throat, a piece of glass was between his two fingers...

Shit.

As the glass pierced his throat, he staggered backwards, gasping and sputtering like a fish out of water. A deep crimson liquid was beginning to leak from the wound and down his neck, staining the collar of his shirt red. Behind them, the crowd of onlookers suddenly grew wild. Thats when Kyler noticed two adults pushing their way through the ocean of children, their expressions nothing but serious.

He swiftly made his way over to Aspen, realizing it was Roger and Sarah, the manager and one of the main teachers here at the orphanage. Sarah quickly belt over, lifting up Dean's head, just as the boy collapsed from shock. She looked up urgently.

"Nikki, go get the nurse immediately!" As Nikki did as she was told, carefully making her way through the gym and out into the hallways, both Roger and Sarah's gazes fell onto Aspen and Kyler.

"My office," Roger said shortly, his eyebrows knit together in exsasperation, "Both of you. Now." Aspen nodded instantly and stood up, walking away from Kyler and to the doors. People parted for her as she went along. Kyler hesitated, a tiny amount of blood splattered on the two fingers that had grasped the shard of the sharp, clear weapon.

Then he allowed his fingers to flex, and a small amount of the thick liquid oozed off his finger tips and dropped to the ground, and in the tension of it all, he swore he heard it echo throughout the room. He followed wordlessly after Aspen.

The consequence of the situation was entirely predictable, Kyler thought, as he and Aspen sat in Roger's office, waiting for the old man to show up and scold them, no doubt they'd be in trouble, especially Kyler.

He barely remembers anything that happened, and he doesn't remember how the piece of glass got into his hands and managed to pierce Dean's throat. Aspen isn't angry or frightened because of what he did, however. She's almost grateful, strangely enough.

"Never again," she whispers, "Shall we do that. Thanks for getting the jerk off of me, though. I owe you one."

"I nearly killed him," Kyler replies, almost feeling guilty. Aspen shakes her head.

"You didn't mean to." She convinces him, trying to catch his gaze. Kyler won't even glance at her though.

Then the heavy door opens, and shuts behind the man who has now entered the suddenly silent room. Moonlight washed through the windows and Kyler suddenly realized how fast the time has gone by, for its now dark outside. The light casts shadows along the walls, simply adding to the atmosphere.

"I'm disapointed," Is all Roger says at first, and he feels his gaze on him. Another silence, before he continues to speak again, "Dean is being treated in the infirmirary with critical injuries. You hit a major vein in his neck, Kyler. He bled alot out there."

Kyler nods slightly. He can't speak and he doesn't want to.

"We've decided that Whammy's isn't the correct place for you, and you'll be taken back to Britain to a different instituition."

Aspen's head immediately jerks up, "No! He didn't mean it!"

"Oh, but clearly he intended for it to happen that way," Roger retorts emotionlessly, "If he didn't, why was the piece of glass placed in that exact posistion in his hand that struck Dean? Why did this fight even occur in the first place?"

"Well, you should ask us that and we should tell you before you jump to such conclusions!" Aspen continued to argue, eyes wide. Roger shook his head, turning away.

"Return to your own rooms, both of you. Kyler, you are to meet me in my office tomorrow morning at exactly 8:00. Understood?"

"Yes sir."

"Good."

Roger watched as the two young teens left his office, going their seperate ways and down different halls, Kyler's thoughts so plainly obvious both Roger and Aspen could nearly sense them.

What have I done?
_______________________________________________________________________________

(A/N: Now you know what I mean when I say these two things; long chapter, Kyler tends to unintentionally injure other people.
Heh. Don't worry, he's harmless.
Review, or I'm not continuing this. I hate writing things, whether its about OC's or not, that don't get any attention whatsoever.
Sorry if everything seems rushed, I just wanted to get it done.
- b l u e y )