It is small. It feels so soft. She is afraid that if she holds it too tightly she may hurt it. But if she does not hold it tightly enough, then she may drop it.
She is not suited for this role. She never will be.
"Have you reconsidered?" asks the voice of the other woman.
She doesn't answer. Perhaps if she ignores her long enough, the two-faced traitor will leave her alone once more.
"It's not as if you have a better option."
No such luck.
She looks up to hiss at her. "Anything is preferable to giving it to you."
The corners of the other woman's lips twitch in a slight sneer.
"Oh yes. You have so many other brilliant choices. It can live behind bars with you for its entire life. Or it can be executed, to eliminate a threat to my family. Or maybe you'd rather give it to a peasant to raise. You know, one of the peasants you look down on so much. It can grow up to be a cabbage merchant or something."
She hates her. She hates the other woman. It was her who first taught her of betrayal.
The other woman continues speaking. "Or you can give it to me, and it can have a decent life. It will grow up wealthy, and protected, and eventually it will take the throne. Like I'm sure you would have wanted it to."
It is her turn to sneer now as she stares resentfully at the other woman. "What, so that you can turn it against me? Raise it to hate me? Use it as a puppet to prop up the traitor who stole everything that was mine?"
The other woman doesn't bother to deny it. "He needs an heir. This is the best option."
"The best for you. Why should I care if you can't provide what he needs?"
"It's best for it, too. You can't keep it in here."
She hates the other woman, she really does. But she knows deep down that the filthy betrayer is right. She has been thinking the same thing since long before it came into the world. What will she do with it? She never wanted it to begin with. Even under the best conditions, back when she was powerful, she doesn't think she would have coped with it. Now, in her present conditions, there is no chance whatsoever that she can manage.
But she doesn't want to give it up. It is hers. It is all she has left.
It lies there, sleeping snugly. It looks peaceful. It trusts her enough to fall asleep in her arms. No one has ever trusted her before.
It is the only thing she's ever had in her life that loves her. Loves her and only her.
The other woman wants to take that away from her.
Not that that's a surprise.
She has already taken everything else from her, after all.
The other woman takes a step closer, copper eyes gleaming as she senses her victory approaching.
"Come on; be reasonable", she says. "You know you can't give it a proper life. I can. It would be better off with me."
Yes, because everyone is always better off without her, aren't they?
It squirms. She looks down, startled, but it is just turning in its sleep. It still looks peaceful. It actually wants to be around her.
A voice inside her whispers that maybe she can do this. Somehow. Maybe she can find a way to make things work out. She is not an optimist, not naive, but never before has she had something like this. It trusts her. It wants to be with her. The knowledge makes her reel with a sensation almost like joy. She desperately wants this to work.
The other woman is growing impatient. "Give it to me."
Fury blazes within her as she hears the words. How does this backstabbing snake have the nerve to be so entitled?
It belongs to her. It is hers. Not the traitor's. Hers. It wants to be with her, not with the traitor. The traitor has already taken everything else. She won't let her take this too.
"No."
It is hers. It wants her. And she decides then that she wants it too. She will find a way to make this work. She can do this.
The other woman opens her mouth to reply, but she doesn't get the chance.
It erupts in a wail, screeching louder than anything its size should ever be able to, and she is caught completely off guard as it begins to struggle in her grip. She flinches in surprise, and drops it.
Time seems to slow as it falls. She is frozen in horror, picturing what is going to happen when it hits the floor. She imagines a howl of pain, then blood pooling all around, and its body going still, and feels sick.
Then it halts, a few inches from the ground, alarmed but unharmed.
She looks from it to the other woman and then back again. To the daggers that have pinned it by its clothing to the wall.
She meets the copper eyes of the other woman. The triumphant gleam is still there, but it looks almost pitying now.
She wants to vomit, but at the same time she wants to laugh hysterically at her own foolishness. Wants to laugh hysterically at the thought that she actually imagined for a second that this could work out, that she could actually have something without ruining it.
Of course it is all a delusional dream. It can never happen. Because she will never let it. She is poison. She destroys everything that she touches. She always has. Is she really stupid enough to believe that this time will be any different?
It loves her, but if it stays with her, she will destroy it. She can do nothing else. She is a monster. She has always been a monster. She will always be a monster.
It has taken nearly killing her own child to make her realise that.
She has never really understood love, but she knows that if she really loves it the way it loves her, then she has to give it the best life that it can have.
And that can't be with her.
Silently she frees it from the wall, and holds it out wordlessly. The other woman takes it solemnly. Her copper gaze looks doubtful, as if she wants to say something.
Azula doesn't want to hear it.
She turns her tear-filled eyes away as Mai leaves with her baby.
AN: With the identity of Izumi's mother currently being kept a secret in canon (though I'm sure that most of us are 99.9% certain that it's Mai), I occasionally toy with the idea in my head that the reason the identity is kept a secret is because she's actually Azula's daughter (born while she was in prison) adopted by Zuko because he needed an heir and he or his wife was unable to produce one. Not sure why I like that idea, but for some reason I do and it led me to writing this.
I've never tried this style of writing before and I always have serious difficulty with maintaining appropriate tense (I constantly find myself accidentally switching between present and past tense), but I hope that this was a decent enough fic regardless of my flaws. (I also wrote this at 5-6AM when I was half-asleep, so I was barely aware of what I was writing and am currently falling asleep while attempting to write this AN. So if my sleep-deprived self has written something horrendous I am sorry).
If you are wondering why the baby's sex is never mentioned, that is partially done because I don't think that anyone in this fic really sees the baby as a person. They see her as a pawn, something to be used to get them what they want. Azula sees her as a possession and Mai sees her as a tool to secure Zuko's hold on power. Azula might love her in some way, but she's a disturbed individual and her concept of love is unhealthy. Suffice to say, neither of these women will be getting awards for 'Mother of the Year'. Poor Izumi.
Please read and review. Constructive criticism is appreciated. I even prefer non-constructive criticism to no review at all.