I'm using my experience bout suicide to write this story. I was suicidal at a time so please don't judge if it's not that good.

I remember it clearly.. The day you slipped away.. That was the day, I found it won't be the same.. they say if you love something ,let it go if it comes back to you,its yours forever. if it doesn't,then it was never meant to be.

its been three weeks since Campbell Saunders committed suicide .i don't remember when the last time i felt like this to lose someone close to you. Campbell Saunders is dead the last words i can remember from my principle Simpson .

everything feels so new , how could cam do this to me break up with me and kill himself . i know teen relationships never last but i never knew it would end like this . me Maya Maltin the ex girl friend of Campbell Saunders.

im sick of people pitting me OK, i didn't ask for this . he should have told me , i would have helped him but no cam made his decision and im making mine. i will not cry for cam , he dosnt deserve pity

"suicide is stupid" , "cam was stupid"

its like everyone's taking turns watching me to make sure i don't make the same mistake. my parents, Katie, tori and Tristan . i accepted cam is dead so should everyone else .

its my first week back to degressi since the incident, i was sitting down in french II when my sister Katie walked in.

"May I borrow my sister Maya for a second"

"Katie why would you take me out of class" . Katie sighs and looks to the ground when she open her mouth "Maya you need help ". i looked at her stunned by what she just said.

"Katie i have no clue what your talking bout im going back to class now" . Katie looks at me and grabs my arm "wait i didn't come all this way to tell that' i set you an appointment with the guidance consular after school".

"Katie why would you do that im perfectly fine couldn't be more happy ". she looks at me with a concerned face "Maya your not the same since cam died" ." i know you miss cam your not netting yourself feel it ", "Ur keeping your feeling bundled up inside". " i don't want that for my lil sis" .

"cant believe you Katie" i stormed away from my sister and made my way back to my seat . as i turn back i find zig looking at me but he quickly looks away not meeting my eyes

"whats his deal"

the rest of the day wen by fast . i sat with Tori and Tristan for lunch , they started talking bout the up coming dance that i already decided im not going to. I decided to skip the rest of the day, i skipped my appointment and went straight home .

As i walked into my house there was a note left on my door "Maya , Katie we will be back in a few hours" . 'great house to myself" i went up stairs and threw myself on my bed as i drifted off to sleep .

"Maya ... Maya can you hear me"?

I open my eyes and at the foot of my bed there he is "cam" how are you here what are you doing hear i close my eyes "not real, not real . but when i opened my eyes he was still there closer to me

Maya i thought you loved me ,but it seems like you don't care . how could you do this to me im died and you dont care . good to know Maya

'cam im sorry but how are you here"?" why did you kill yourself"?" i do love you" . am i losing my mind .

if im going crazy its a good crazy Katie was right i do miss him "oh cam " i throw myself on top of him and kiss him his lips were old an hard against mine . but before i knew it it was over

"maya i have to go"

"no please don't cam" but its to late hes gone as i scream his name "CAM"

"omigod Maya are you okay wake up" . my eyes flew open as i notice i was dreaming