The Adventures of The Falling Purple House Elves
"This meeting of the falling purple ninja house elves is now called to order."
The elves got situated so they could listen to the next assignment. They had just kicked Cho Chang's ass for punching Ron in the face. He said she had been crying, saying that Harry really loved her. She wanted Ron to convince Harry to give her a chance. Ron had flat refused, saying that if Harry loved her, she wouldn't be begging like this. They had caused her to fall over and she had hit her head.
A giant meteor had then fallen down and crashed into her head. The healers at St. Mungos were notified and revived her quickly. They sent the meteor to a tofu box inspector to be looked at and added to the tofu. The tofu box inspector then burned down wal-mart, because he hated China. China sued the tofu box inspector for a lot of money, and he sold all his boxes on ebay so he could get it..
The boxes were sold for a million dollars and the house elves were happy. They were happy cause thats the word that was wrote. Harry went to visit Cho, called her a bitch, and conjured a flying ice cream truck. It ran her over and she died. Harry decided to plan her funeral. The elves interfered and made her casket fall over. She suddenly got up, a zombie, and shuffled toward Harry. The elves ran over and pushed her, saying "Not Harry Potter! NOOOOOOO!"
She gave them a look that shut them up and they ran behind Ron, who had magically appeared. Mrs. Weasely had come with him, apparently, and was yelling at Cho for making such a mess. Cho was afraid, (wouldn't you be?) and picked up her casket. She got in it like a good girl and went to sleep. Harry cheered and Mrs. Weasley gave him a look. He shut up.
And then the world spontaneousley combusted.
Ha! I bet you thought I'd forget, Logan! This is dedicated to you, cause only we (and sometimes Rachel) could be this random and still understand it.