Authors Note- This is a little bit of character exploration that tied into an old idea for a twilight fan fiction that will most likely never see the light of day. If I ever get around to it, I'll do a similar thing for Rosalie and Emmett. And just so you know, this fits into what Stephenie Myers has said about Jasper's human life, I didn't make the existence of the girl up.
The Blond Phantom
Jasper doesn't like blonds.
He is utterly terrified of them.
Well, not blond men. He is one of them, and the others are of no consideration.
It is the girls he is afraid of. The small blond girls with bright blue eyes and bright smiles full of mischief and knowledge.
Jasper Whitlock is terrified of killing one of them.
He had always made a point to avoid them, even in his earliest of years. Newborns of the southern were not known for their control, but even in his earliest days Jasper had not gone after any blond girl he had come across who in anyway looked close to nineteen.
Jasper Whitlock, the youngest major in Texas, the prize of Maria's newborn army, a fearless leader of humans and vampires, was afraid of killing her.
She is his clearest human memory.
He remembered bits and pieces of his human days: his father's store, his mother's house, the war of northern aggression. But she consumed most of his thoughts. He remembered them working together in the shop, and going horseback riding at night. He remembered their secret dream, their desire for knowledge and their quest for college.
He remembered what it felt like to love her.
She had been his entire world when he was human. She had been perfect: smart and funny and clever and beautiful. Well maybe the beautiful part was a bit of a curse, she had been the prettiest girl in Huston. She earned the fitting amount of attention because of it. Sometimes it felt like he was mostly protecting her from all of the unwanted suitors who she attracted. She wasn't really the type of girl who needed protecting, but she humored him. He was the type of boy who needed to protect.
He remembered when he let her down.
When he had told her he was joining the army she had not taken it well. She had yelled and cried and told him in no uncertain terms that he would be killed. Apparently she was right. And in his few moments of peace as a newborn he had lamented what he had done to her.
As time passed, he started being more discriminating. He wouldn't kill the blond children, because one of them could be her daughter, or later granddaughter. He couldn't imagine hurting her in such a way. He couldn't kill the middle-aged and later old women. He could not be the death of her. He hands down refused.
A small selfish part of him wishes to this day, over one hundred and fifty years later, that he had turned her. He could have left Maria and gone home. He doubted she would marry early, and so he supposed he had had about five years to get her and make her one of his kind. He didn't know if he could have done so without killing her. However, he knew that if he could not turn her, he could not turn anyone without killing him.
She would have loved the modern world.
She had always been a woman ahead of her time
She would have loved the access to information that the 21st century provided. She had loved to learn, had loved history and languages and philosophy and literature. She would go crazy for fast cars. She would have been fascinated by film and television. College would have thrilled her like nothing else. She would have rejoiced at the idea of woman's suffrage. She would have adored fashion.
She and Alice would have gotten along famously.
He has a new family now. Complete with two younger sisters. One of them is even blond.
But to compare her and Rosalie is laughable.
Rosalie Lillian Hale is his haughty, vain "twin." She loves herself and Nessie and Emmett and then the rest of the family in that order. She likes her comforts, her cars, and her beauty.
Rosalie can't hold a candle to her.
Comparing her to Bella does not work either.
Isabella Marie Cullen is his littlest sister. She is 143 or 144 years younger than him depending on how one looked at things. Bella is calm and subdued. She isn't her own person, she is everyone else's. She is Edward's wife, Nessie's mother, Charlie's daughter, Jacob's best friend. Bella shares nothing in common with her other then baring the title of sister of Jasper.
She entirely her own person. She would not be controlled by her father, or her mother, or even her own brother. Yet she cared about others, especially Jasper. She just did it on her own terms
He doesn't tell his family that Bella and Rosalie don't really count when he is tallying up his sisters. Not even Alice knows. They have all replaced their human family with the immortal Cullen one. He doesn't really blame them. Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and his poor little Alice didn't exactly have loving families in their human time, and Edward's died with his humanity. They have surrounded themselves in the love of the Cullens, they don't have anything else to cling to or to go by. They wouldn't understand.
He sometimes wonders if Emmett might. Emmett had truly loved his human family, and had been especially close to his older sisters. Then he sees Emmett joking with Alice, or teasing Bella. Emmett has fully accepted his new family, sisters and all.
Jasper can't all the way. He can love them all. He can care for them all. But he can't let them replace her.
He might be the most blood thirsty member of the Cullen family. But he even after all these years, Jasper Whitlock can't let go of his long dead baby sister.
And he does not want to.