Stand in the Rain
A/n: This is a story dedicated to me I guess because it kind of explains me. It pretty much got me spot on. This is a little one shot about Utau and I added a few people in here to be her friends. But it's about her struggle well any on with the story.
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With my friends I was always the youngest. They looked up to me though. I was the big sister character to them. I never cried but I was there every time they cried. I would comfort them when they were hurt. I would keep them away from situations where they could get hurt. I always wanted them to be safe but we occasionally would take risks.
At home it was almost the same. I was the youngest. But I was treated as if I was older. I was disciplined and had my house work to do. I can't say I can complain about my life. Because it could be worse, but still.
Currently I am comforting my friend, Nadeshiko, for the loss of her family member. We are sitting in the park. On a bench. Her head is on my lap and she is crying the pain away. I gently stroke her hair. She takes a deep breath and looks up at me.
"Why aren't you sad?" She asks.
"I am." I say simply.
"Why aren't you crying like my?" She sits up on the bench.
"I want to comfort you and I have no reason." I said simply again.
"How can you be so… so… the way you are now? We are practically sisters and my grandma died. Our grandma. You know her and have spent just as much time with her as me. She was our idol!" She stood up yelling at me.
"I know." I whispered.
"You know what?" She asked angrily.
"I know how much she meant to us. But I will not cry about it. I just want to comfort you so you will feel better." I said.
"You jerk! You won't cry about it! You're too high and mighty to cry about anything!" She slapped my face and turned around. Letting out a big sob she began to tremble and fell to her knees.
I got off the bench and hugged her.
"Just let it all out." I said.
"I'm sorry." She cried harder.
"There is nothing to worry about. Everything will be all right." I comforted her.
"No! No it won't! I hurt you! You'll never forgive me." She sobbed out the last few words.
"I've already forgiven you." I whispered in to her ear.
"No you haven't!" Nadeshiko yelled. She stood up and ran off. I stood up and walked over to the swings and sat down. I hope she'll be okay. My phone began to vibrate in my pocket. I took it out and looked at it. I had a text message. I checked who it was from and opened it. It was from Nadeshiko
I'm sorry I ran off. I just couldn't take it any more. You were denying the fact that you were dying inside. I could tell you were hurt. You always stand tall and take care of me and the rest of our friends. You try so hard and never fall down. Please just let it go. I don't want you hurt any more.
I began to text back.
I don't care that you ran off you had every reason to. Don't worry I'm fine. I will always do all I can for you guys. It doesn't hurt me at all. I'm fine.
I sent it and immediately got a text back.
You're lying. I know you are.
She was right. It was a complete and total lie. I always tried my hardest to protect my friends. I would always stand tall even through the rain and I would always stand my ground. I promised my self I wouldn't fall down until I know my friends were better. But now I feel if I stood I would fall down for sure. I text her back.
You're right. I am hurt. But I'm scared. Scared to dry. Afraid if I cry that first tear the tears will not stop raining down. That's why I stand my ground and stand through the rain. I even stand up when it's all crashing down and through the pain. I stand so I won't drown. I do it to make sure you guys are safe. So I can't give up right now. Even if I want to give up and lye down.
I looked up at the sky and it began to rain. It slowly dripped n my face. The pace of it quickened and it was impossible to see five feet in front of you. I waited a few minuets and I got another text it wasn't from Nadeshiko it was from another friend of mine.
Hey I just wanted to tell you'll I'm going to the hospital because I got in a car wreck. When the rain subsides will you please come and visit me? I could really use the comforting.
I stood from the swing and raced through the park. I ran through the trees and grass and slipped when my feet hit the concrete. I sat on my knees and stared at the ground. The back of my eyes felt as if they were on fire. I stood back up and slapped my cheeks. I can't cry now I have to get to the hospital for my friend. I began to run again but fell once more. I got back up and just stood there. I'll have to do as she asks and wait for the rain to subside. I stood in the rain for a few minuets till I saw a figure approaching. The figure embraced me in a tight hug.
"Everything will be all right." Nadeshiko said squeezing me tighter. I hugged her back and buried my face in her chest. We waited silently. Waiting for my tears to fall, but nothing came.
"I… I can't." I said falling to my knees. Nadeshiko grabbed my hand and pulled me back up.
"Then I want you to stand out here and let the rain cry for you. For all the times you ever needed to cry and for the times you were alone and it felt like it was just all coming down. The rain is your tears tonight." She said hugging me again. I looked up at the sky. The rain hit my cheeks and ran down like tears.
"It's stupid. I can't even cry. I have to have the rain cry for me. I'm so pathetic." I said.
"No you're not. I think maybe the rain is all the tears that belong to you that had never fallen and are now pouring down when you needed them most. That's why it's raining so hard." She looked at me and smiled. I couldn't help but smile back.
"Why don't we get out of this rain?" I asked. She nodded and we walked down the street to my house. We said our goodbyes at the door and I walked up the stairs to my room. I layed in my bed and listened to the hard patter of the rain. I fell asleep and the rain never subsided till morning.
When I woke up the next morning, I walked to the park and sat on the swing I had the day before. I put on my mp3 and listened to the radio.
"Now it's time for a shout out from a Miss Nadeshiko." The guy on the radio said.
"I'd like to make a shout out to my friend Utau. I want you to know Utau that I'm here for you through your struggle no matter what." She said
"Any song you would like to request young lady?" The guy asked
"Yes I would like to request Stand in the Rain by Superchick. This one's for you Utau." She said.
I listened to the music and then the lyrics came
She
never slows down
She doesn't know why but
she knows that
when
She's all alone feels
Like it's all coming down
She
won't turn around
The shadows are long
And she fears if she
cries
That first tear
The tears will not stop
Raining
down
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up
when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You
won't drown
And one day what's lost can be found
You stand in
the rain
She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with
herself
And the fears whispering
If she stands, she'll fall
down
She wants to be found but
The only way out is through
everything she's running from
Wants to give up and lie
down
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up
when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You
won't drown
And one day what's lost can be found
You stand in
the rain
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up
when it's all crashing down
Stand through the pain
You won't
drown
And one day what's lost can be found
So stand in the
rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing
down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day
what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain
The lyrics had me right. Everything about me right.
I looked up at the sky. It was a dark grey. It will probably rain again. I sat for a minute until I got a text. It was from Nadeshiko.
Everything will be all right.
Is all it read. The rain slowly came down once again but stayed at it's slow pace. I know everything will be all right for everyone. I felt a tear slide down my cheek. The rain became harder. I stood up and felt another tear fall. They all came slowly down one by one till the pace quickened as hastily as the rain had come. I felt arms wrap around me but I didn't look up knowing who they belonged to. I stood there and cried for all the pain I had. Letting it ease out with the tears and slowly forgetting it. I promise myself now that if I ever have to cry I will only let the rain and Anne be the ones to see it. For they are the only camouflage I have that will hide me from my own weakness and make me feel strong when I cry. The battle with myself may not be over. But when I stand in the rain and Anne is here I know I can hide from it long enough to get my strength to win.
A/n: I hope you enjoyed it and it made me feel so much better now. Review please!