Regina's heart sank in dismay as she watched Emma begin to walk out of her candle-lit vault. She immensely regretted the preceding conversation. Emma had arrived with a childlike hopefulness, in search of a friend, someone who could understand her. Emma had completely opened up to her about feeling misunderstood, yet all Regina did was mock her and push her away, like always. Almost instantaneously, guilt set in. It was foreign to Regina to lament her own actions, but for some reason, hurting Emma always left her ashamed and remorseful. Regina wondered why she always had to be so cruel, so emotionless, and gritted her teeth in frustration. She tried so hard to refrain from hurting people as part of her new identity in Storybrooke, yet it seemed she could not rid herself of her cold nature. She was so used to being the Evil Queen, she struggled to be Regina. Not a ruthless leader, but a mother, a friend, somebody… loving.
As Emma dejectedly trudged away, blonde curls bouncing, Regina hesitated, debating whether to make amends with the disappointed woman. "Emma, I… I don't want to kill you," she blurted without further thought. Immediately she held her breath as she awaited a response.
Emma turned around, with a slight smile on her face. The familiar twinkle in her deep blue eyes returned. Even this small glance from the woman curiously made Regina's heart race, and she felt herself relaxing in Emma's presence.
"See? That's a start." Emma departed the dimly lit room without another word, although her step was notably more jovial. Regina unclenched her tightly furled fists.
Regina sighed, the sound audible and reverberating in the now empty room, despising once again her inability to communicate her true feelings to Emma Swan. As much as she tried to disguise it as hatred, she had to admit she cared about Emma. More than anyone else, except for Henry. Lately, this feeling had been growing stronger, and changing, much to Regina's distaste. For her to feel anything but hatred towards another individual was nearly inconceivable. And perhaps… fondness? Regina chuckled spitefully. Impossible, of course.
Despite the conflicting thoughts filling her head, Regina felt her heart flutter a tiny bit as she thought about Emma, and a slight smile tugged at her lips. Immediately she wiped the foolish grin off her face. She stood stock-still, and realized… no. It couldn't be.
Running a hand through her short, dark hair, Regina peered at herself in the mirror on the wall behind her. It would be utterly absurd for her to have feelings for the Savior, the woman who disrupted her life, broke her curse, and took her son after abandoning him for most of his life. Not to mention, Emma was, well, a woman. Regina had never felt any sort of attraction towards another woman before, and it did not occur to her that she ever would. Straightening her blazer and tucking her hair behind her ears, she promptly blocked out the thought, for she undeniably loved her boyfriend Robin, and him alone. But… did she really? She paused and furrowed her brow. Now that she speculated upon the idea, she had been trying to distance herself from him, his voice irritating her, his constant need for touch and affirmation smothering her… She shook her head to clear the mere idea of it. He was surely the one for her, and Emma was just… an annoyance. That had to be it, she assured herself. She just needed to get the woman out of her mind, and all would be normal again.
Just as she was pondering all of this, Robin strolled in. His footsteps echoed, and he pushed the stray hairs off of his face as he leaned on the doorframe of the entrance. Regina inwardly groaned at his presence; she just wanted some peace and quiet to sort out her thoughts, not her somewhat needy boyfriend. She let out a breath and braced herself.
"I thought you would be here, I just saw Emma leave," he announced to Regina. When she did not turn around, he strode towards her and gathered her in his arms to comfort her. "Hey… you ok?"
Regina froze at his touch. "I'm not sure…" she admitted rather coldly in her deep, sultry voice. Why on earth was she still thinking of Emma, while her loving boyfriend Robin was the one hugging her? Her doubts about their relationship returned. She stood on her toes and kissed him, just to see... She pulled away, repulsed all of a sudden. Oh god, it couldn't be. Her eyes widened and she stared at his face, still holding it in her hands. She had to love him, she just had to! "I… I have to go," she apologetically told him, vision blurring and eyes stinging.
Hair falling down onto his forehead, Robin looked slightly hurt. "Regina," he started, but she pushed past him, heels clicking as she purposefully ascended the stone stairs, trying to hide the tears beginning to fall from her deep brown eyes. She made it to the doorway before Robin ran up the stairs after her.
"What is wrong with you Regina? What's going on?" he gently demanded, spinning her around by the arm to face him in the moonlight. "For weeks, you've been so detached…" He searched her face for an answer, blue eyes widening, then narrowing as he unwillingly made the connection.
"You've… met someone else, haven't you? Regina, tell me it's not true…" he pleaded.
Regina turned away and wiped her face on the sleeve of her expensive blazer. "No! I haven't! I mean, maybe, but I don't even quite know myself… Robin, I'm sorry!"
"What do you mean, 'you don't know'? Who is it?! Do you still love me or not?" he angrily retorted, his voice raising every second.
"Robin, I," she protested shakily, but stopped. She was at a loss. Taking a moment to compose herself, she drew a deep, shuddering breath. "I know Iwant to love you, but… I'm just really confused right now. I think we need some time… apart." She covered her face in her hands in guilt at what she had just done.
"Are you serious?" he spat, pacing. "I gave so much for you, Regina, and, and you just throw it all away? I have awife, who I have a child with, yet I still give you a chance? Did you ever even consider the sacrifices I made to be with you, yet your 'confusion' is reason enough to leave me?" He laughed sarcastically and took a step back, while Regina just stared, ashamed disgusted at herself. "Of course you haven't. You're still the Evil Queen. You haven't changed one bit, you only care about yourself!" He held out his arms in defeat, then dropped them to his sides. His voice became threateningly calm. "You know what- fine. I'll give you what you want. We're over!"
Regina started weeping, and ran out of the tomb, leaving the fuming Robin behind. She was embarrassed to be showing such weakness by crying. It was true, she was selfish, but for the first time in a long time, this was not a decision she chose to make for her own good. Never had she even dreamed of hurting him, but her attraction to him was just gone. Was it wrong to move on? And would she regret this later?
Regina found herself in the woods outside the marble vault. Although the stars were calm and distant as always, her racing emotions caused her magic to stir up a strong wind as she stood in the clearing, and the trees creaked and rattled, her hair blowing around her powerfully. With a tearful cry, she begrudgingly admitted to herself that she had to accept Emma's offer of friendship. She needed to talk to the one person who could understand her.